Anime Online - View Single Post - Rising of spirits of my eternity..........

kedar · May 06, 2006, 08:29 PM

Overall, I like the poem that you have written, but it can use some improvement. Mainly, you should try to change the structure of the poem. In the way that you have typed, though it had a flow, the structure isn't of the poetic norm. Take off those "........" (dots), and try to fill in the gaps, and try to connect the poem in doing so. ^_^

But, it was a neat work. Keep it up, and please write more.

May 06, 2006, 08:29 PM	#4 (permalink)
kedar Warrior Monk Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Monk Society Posts: 2,974 Thanks: 3 Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts Credits: 18,924	Re: Rising of spirits of my eternity.......... Overall, I like the poem that you have written, but it can use some improvement. Mainly, you should try to change the structure of the poem. In the way that you have typed, though it had a flow, the structure isn't of the poetic norm. Take off those "........" (dots), and try to fill in the gaps, and try to connect the poem in doing so. ^_^ But, it was a neat work. Keep it up, and please write more. __________________ Appealing interior, appalling exterior.
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