| Re: All Apologies
I liked this.. and I've a few comments too..
Well.. first.. the easy one..
How i wish i could be happy
but it seems it will never
come , i smile so slightly
hoping dawn will break this
darkness but it want.
In this stanza the word "want" is out of place. Perhaps a typo or grammatical mistake... should be "won't" if I'm guessing correctly.
Second. I noticed in some of your lines, the flow breaks, which you should better illustrate by using commas, you've shown that you understand the concept throughout some of the poem.. but you should take time to pick out such details..
Other than that.. if flowed very nicely.. and had an interesting concept.. I liked it, and by the way, punctuations aren't of big consequence in my book, but it is a way to improve the imagery and flow that you intend.
__________________ Fr3aK~0f~N@Tu|23   |