| Re: The story
Sorry, I had to say that it need a lill bit work... it's ok, the plot is something just great and I really want to know what happens but the way you wrote it... I find it difficult to read it somehow.... Firstly, I know how hard it is to think up names, but you should give the father a name so I wouldn't think "About who is she talking" whenever I read "he" and so. The second thing is just up to training...
You should continue this story, you become better with each work you write. ^^
I like the funny ones better but this is good too! ^^ |