bratling

Free writing is a really good way to get your feelings out. But when your posting for criticism and comments you should go back and add punctuation and suchness. Just because it makes the work easier to read, and that much better. Would you wanna read something written just like that out of a book? you'd be mad and throw it at the sellers head. Lol.

"you tell me lets be together
a week is that what you call forever"
Was a particularly strongly felt statment to me. Made my tummy wrench a little bit.

Overall I loved the way this rhymed and the feelings you conveyed throughout. Keep it up lady!

__________________
She's always trying not to cry.
But I can see the demons in her eyes.
She's always trying not to yell.
But you see to her, she's trapped in hell.