Originally Posted by abby724

Seems like an interesting idea for a shounen work, and it might actually sell well as a game, but the plot is a bit clichéd. Don't get the impression I'm not fond of fantasy; I'm a fantasy RPG junkie. But lords of darkness, different elements combatting against each other, and youths suddenly obtaining magical powers...

Plot clichés are really the biggest problem for me, but other than that, an idea like that could really actually sell well. Adolescents are really attracted to this sort of stuff... They tend to practically inhale it whole to no end. That's why alot of works passed their peak and mediocre are still so popular. :sighing feeling:

To improve the plot... I guess you should work on developing the characters, especially the Dark Lord. I know there are reviewers out there who love to berate characters who are inexplicably evil. Yes, mental disorders are all well and all, but often times, people like deep characters than paper-thin psychopaths. If you do decide to make the Dark lord evil for the heck of it, then you'll have to spend alot of time adding essence to his personality.

How to develop characters? Make sure they change and grow over time. And not just simply learning morals and becoming more righteous...