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Corvus · May 04, 2008, 06:08 PM

hey Eria how long do you think until the second post? I like the concept. At first I was kinda thinking oh great another one of those god's as mortals things but you seem to have an interesting twist at each of the characters so far and I look forward to seeing the other personalities.

Your style is a little unrefined but it's forgiveable and it can only get better. My suggestion is to get a friend to read it out loud to you because sometimes you write things and it's hard to distinguish between what you have there in your head and what's actually written on paper. (or in this case typed on the screen) It's sort of a simple tactic but even award winning authors have people to double check their work for them so it might be a good idea for the rest of us too right.^^ I really do like this one and the simplicity with which everything is presented it's a good lighthearted change from the between the lines politic filled books that I have to read for my lit course so I like it =P

Just a curiousity here, Lolita/ Zeus = you maybe? A yes or no answer would be great as any sort of detail would be like a spoiler for the character.

Thanks again for the read and keep it up ^^
~out~

May 04, 2008, 06:08 PM	#4 (permalink)
Corvus Otaku Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 301 Thanks: 11 Thanked 28 Times in 27 Posts Credits: 15,168	Re: Lolita; A new god hey Eria how long do you think until the second post? I like the concept. At first I was kinda thinking oh great another one of those god's as mortals things but you seem to have an interesting twist at each of the characters so far and I look forward to seeing the other personalities. Your style is a little unrefined but it's forgiveable and it can only get better. My suggestion is to get a friend to read it out loud to you because sometimes you write things and it's hard to distinguish between what you have there in your head and what's actually written on paper. (or in this case typed on the screen) It's sort of a simple tactic but even award winning authors have people to double check their work for them so it might be a good idea for the rest of us too right.^^ I really do like this one and the simplicity with which everything is presented it's a good lighthearted change from the between the lines politic filled books that I have to read for my lit course so I like it =P Just a curiousity here, Lolita/ Zeus = you maybe? A yes or no answer would be great as any sort of detail would be like a spoiler for the character. Thanks again for the read and keep it up ^^ ~out~ __________________ ... and join my rebellion against time. http://www.animefever.org/ref/ref.ph...animefever.org Last edited by Corvus; May 07, 2008 at 06:18 PM.
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