| Re: Broken I think that this is good the way it is as far as shape goes. (especially since a poet should never force stanzas if it breaks the thought.) This is particularly important with a short piece such as this because a separate stanza would imply a shift.
General:
Also, mods were threatening to close this thread (the entire poetry section) if specific and detailed responses were not posted ie. if you have a response make it count give helpful suggestions with specifics like individual places that might need a little tweaking or whatever. Why? So that everyone can grow. |