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Corvus · May 20, 2008, 08:42 PM

Soldat, that's one of the beautiful things about describing writer's block as the "word wall" it's unimaginative, ominous and lacks variety or description.

CHIEF:
"Writer's block."
The simple unextravagant words, meter and rhymescheme {all of it really} emphasize the simplicity of this emotion. What makes this poem stand out is the corrupting of the rhyme and meter at different parts while keeping it simple and capturing the subtle frustration of the emotion. You don't allow the reader to get comfortable, into a pattern of any sort, causing psychological discomfort..[A+]

GREN:
"Crows"
Gren, yours was distrubing... good, but disturbing... the fact that you poetray (my play on words... ^^) what it's like to be eaten alive... just wow. I agree with your disregard for punctuation. I simply wish that you would have used some punctuation to be nicer to my poor brain which insisted on taking a break somewhere, (enjambment overlaod) and insisted on doing it at an inappropriate place. I had to read you poem a few times before I got it and I think that this is the reason. Although, it does add to the piece, meaning that it's not a fault of yours just a personal complaint. Good work. [A+]

MECH
"Angel"
Machazawa... the heroine is a girl (which when mixed with the image of an angel, and that idea of innocence would be a young girl.) In my opinion, every loli-fan's dream. Further extended through that devious little inuendo at the end (the fruit comment) You probably meant in a more innocent and pure way, as well as allusion to the bible or some relegious doctrine...
Still a beautiful and deep rooted poem. Punctuation would make your thoughts clearer and maybe more choppy which is true to the way a person on the brink of scuicide would think. Short,choppy scentences. Which could then be contrasted with solid compound scentences to reveal that idea of unison and flowing or peaceful thought after being rescued, relief.[A]

My vote is going to Gren. Although, it was tough to decide. This poem was shocking and as previously stated, it stood out. All of these poems really are a cut above the normal posts in this forum. Works of art all around ^^ but I only get one vote so... sorry mech and chief, your poems are still phenomenal and are deserving of awards too but gren takes my vote..

My conclusion... Our judges like messing with people's heads...

May 20, 2008, 08:42 PM	#8 (permalink)
Corvus Otaku Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 301 Thanks: 11 Thanked 28 Times in 27 Posts Credits: 15,158	Re: POTM Judges' Competition Soldat, that's one of the beautiful things about describing writer's block as the "word wall" it's unimaginative, ominous and lacks variety or description. CHIEF: "Writer's block." The simple unextravagant words, meter and rhymescheme {all of it really} emphasize the simplicity of this emotion. What makes this poem stand out is the corrupting of the rhyme and meter at different parts while keeping it simple and capturing the subtle frustration of the emotion. You don't allow the reader to get comfortable, into a pattern of any sort, causing psychological discomfort..[A+] GREN: "Crows" Gren, yours was distrubing... good, but disturbing... the fact that you poetray (my play on words... ^^) what it's like to be eaten alive... just wow. I agree with your disregard for punctuation. I simply wish that you would have used some punctuation to be nicer to my poor brain which insisted on taking a break somewhere, (enjambment overlaod) and insisted on doing it at an inappropriate place. I had to read you poem a few times before I got it and I think that this is the reason. Although, it does add to the piece, meaning that it's not a fault of yours just a personal complaint. Good work. [A+] MECH "Angel" Machazawa... the heroine is a girl (which when mixed with the image of an angel, and that idea of innocence would be a young girl.) In my opinion, every loli-fan's dream. Further extended through that devious little inuendo at the end (the fruit comment) You probably meant in a more innocent and pure way, as well as allusion to the bible or some relegious doctrine... Still a beautiful and deep rooted poem. Punctuation would make your thoughts clearer and maybe more choppy which is true to the way a person on the brink of scuicide would think. Short,choppy scentences. Which could then be contrasted with solid compound scentences to reveal that idea of unison and flowing or peaceful thought after being rescued, relief.[A] My vote is going to Gren. Although, it was tough to decide. This poem was shocking and as previously stated, it stood out. All of these poems really are a cut above the normal posts in this forum. Works of art all around ^^ but I only get one vote so... sorry mech and chief, your poems are still phenomenal and are deserving of awards too but gren takes my vote.. My conclusion... Our judges like messing with people's heads... __________________ ... and join my rebellion against time. http://www.animefever.org/ref/ref.ph...animefever.org Last edited by Corvus; May 20, 2008 at 08:53 PM.
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