Ok, so If I ever thought that having a journal was going to gain me some popularity here... I can throw all hope of that out the window now.
The secret Im about to reveal is going to make me seem like some mentally ill freak, I just know it.
Anyway. I have pica.
It's this disorder where you want to eat\chew on things that aren't food.
Tissue and Toilet Paper (don't worry its clean) are my current favorites. Terrycloth fabric, or any little stringie fringes or snags that hang off of ANY fabric. I try not to swallow the stuff. But... eh....
I cut my hair last summer because I realized I was ingesting it. My nails are bitten down quite far. and every now and again I'll pull out an eyelash... mmmm ...
As we speak I am enjoying the tips of some cotton swabs.
I also eat ice, which is defined as a trait of pica... but I thought it was normal.
I've always had this issue. Since I was a kid. I never knew what it was called until recently, or that others had it too. I was depressed and stressed as a kid, I know that can trigger pica. I think pregnancy makes it worse, as I think my habits heightened with pregnancies. But, those habits didn't get much better AFTER the pregnancies were over. Also I have some vitamin deficiencies, that makes pica worse also.
I stumbled upon this website a while back.
I Have Pica Syndrome | An Anonymous Group with Personal Stories, Support Forums, Quizzes, News & Help. Group Discussion & Advice.
It supposed to be anonymous. But I dont see the need for that anymore. I mean, I know its embarrassing. And I did try to keep it a secret for a while. But, keeping secrets does no good.. Besides, its not like Im going to invite anyone over and fix up a platter of washcloths and cotton balls.
There are people eating drywall and chalk, plastic, and face cream. Even dirt and cleaning products. Its fair to say Im not alone. But everyone including myself seems like they're trying to keep it a secret. But, Im over the secret part. Im a freaking weirdo. maybe one of YOU weirdos can offer some useful insight. But, its not an easy habit to break. Its a total compulsion. Sometimes I dont even realize Im doing it until Im already in the middle of it.