Awkward

Tic toc tic toc, I can hear the clock ticking, its already morning but I feel like I haven’t slept at all “please don’t ring.. Please don’t ring”
But it rang, earlier than expected, there goes my heart.

“Hello?” I can hear the breathing from the other line, it feels strange, I feel scared at the same time anxious.

It’s as if this is the first time this has ever occurred, but its been like this for the past 10 years.

“Ready? I’ll come pick you up” surprising me, I didn’t know what to say, “No, wait, mom will send me to school today.” What? Mom is not even home today, or is she?

“Ok Bei, see you there”

Its always the same cold tone of the other line I hear. That lonely tone that means the other person from the other line is gone.

It’s like going deaf in the middle of trying to hear something really important, but you cant, you got cut off out of someone’s life its weakening.

Heart breaking, it makes me feel like crying.

How did we end up like this? It’s strange but it wasn’t like this until yesterday afternoon.

Confession (a day before)

I’ve always been an admirer of him, he was my brothers best friend, his name is Mike. We call him I.C. for some deluded reason but it makes sense since his as cold as ice and there’s no way to break in.

But I’ve always liked him for that, I feel as though I’m destined to be the one who sends him free of his cold emotions and be the warmth he needs to be able to change.

But he only sees me as my brothers little sister, he always teases and plays with my heart. But it only makes me like him even more, I guess that’s Icy’s hidden charm, no matter how cold hearted or bad he looks to others, there’s always this sad look on his face which melts everyone’s heart to tiny bits of sweet melted chocos.

But I never had the courage to tell him how I feel about him, I guess I have my own issues, but I can’t be with someone who can’t like me in return. A one sided relationship just wont be enough for me, nor for him, so I just decide to stick to what we have and deal with it.

But I never thought a day like that would come.

“Bei… I like you…” Or so you thought, it wasn’t him who confessed to me,

It was a class mate of mine who is fairly good looking, fairly fair in everything, his name is Jerrod.

An average normal looking, not so outstanding boy without any issues what so ever, but he likes me and I appreciate it really, but all of my friends are chattering about it behind me where I can hear them and so can he.

How can I say no to him with all the hyped people waiting for a response I may never say?

I’m not even sure if I like him, or should I give him a chance, instead of hoping for the impossible, waiting for a boy who may never fancy a girl who’s his best friends little sister?

“I..” I couldn’t say anything but outside our class’ as a familiar figure staring at me with a look that I have never seen before vanishing slowly moving away

“icy…” Was it him I thought, his eyes were different, they were not the gentle kind he always had, it was… Frightening…

“I..” I looked over at Jerrod again as he had that hopeful face, it was kind and inviting, it could be the face of someone I could love.

But I’m not on the right emotional state to give him a response he might like seeing as to I’m still entangled by Icy’s cold heart.

“Can I have more time… to think about it…” I finally said, I thought he would be mad but instead I receive a smiling face

“Its okay Beverly, I can wait”

It was so warm and kind, that smile, but it would be much sweeter if it was a smile from Icy, but never did I see his smiling face.

Its either always blank or depressed, I’ll work hard on making him smile like Rod does.

It was the talk of everyone, how I was asked out by Rod, the fairly average boy in everything, but what do I know about him aside from him asking me out?

Who is this boy anyway?