Apparently there are monster's Under My bed
“Introduce yourself to the class Jason,” demanded Mrs. Jones, my new High School Physics teacher. She was a white pale woman with the fashion sense of my granny. With the cruelty of teenagers, these days one might guess what students would say, but this woman struck fear in the hearts of babies and small animals everywhere, so they say.
“My names Jason Wong, I moved here from a place a lot nicer then here. I hate stereotypes so the first one to crack an Asian joke will feel the wraith of my fist and experience the beauty of hurt feelings. Thank you,” I still have an Asian father so I bowed and slugged over to an empty seat to the right of a very pretty girl. She seemed timid but I couldn’t see how she had long black hair that seemed like silk, unblemished skin, and mesmerizing brown eyes, yes you guessed right she was Asian.
I leaned over to speak to her, “Hello doll face how are you?” When she looked at me I got the coldest glare my life will ever experience. She spoke to me in a language I did not know (I was somewhat astonished I did not know it), “Yeah, I am Chinese-American so could you use one of the two?” I should have been embarrassed because she probably told me off.
“Sorry, I thought you were Thai. My name is Fai. I said do not talk to me in class, I do not like distractions. Education is key to future. Meet me later at the Golden Arch restaurant outside the school,” she whispered. With that said, she continued her work as a gazed at her ear. She had six piercing in one ear. That is sexy.
When class was finally over I handed in my work, effortlessly finished by the way, and was surrounded by three insults to the Geek community, all sporting the oldest version of suspenders, white button-ups, and dirty brown loafers, I want to take a guess and say they didn’t know there was a new much more fashionable version of the geek look, “Your our hero!” wheezed the bifocal super weirdo.
“And why am I your hero?” I think I seriously wanted to know because none of them was Asian and none of them looked smart just fashion dead.
“Because your speech reminded us of our Hero,” wheezed the skin-tight pants discombobulated geek.
“And who is your Hero?”
“Hiei,” wheezed the last ugly duckling.
“Who in Buddha’s name is Hiei?” I had to think about this because I spoke before I thought. I actually knew who they were talking about. I am shocked. “Your not talking about Hiei of Yu Yu Hakusho, are you?” Yu Yu Hakusho was a Japanese animation in which I enjoyed a lot. Yes, I’m an anime geek, but never as lame as these guys.
“Yes, yes! You and him should have been born brothers,” wailed bifocal man.
“I don’t think so. I’m sarcastic and he’s an ass.”
“Difference?” asked ugly duckling.
I was not an asshole but I sure was going to beat the Dungeons and Dragons out of him, “You have two seconds to leave me alone.” They smiled and wailed like little school girls as they ran away with arms wavering in the air. I slowly but surely slugged my way to my last class of the day. When I entered the room, a tall mean looking black person with the cleanest cut I have ever seen greeted me with a frown and dodge ball. Yes, you guessed right I am in physical education.
“Scrawny Asian child please make the first throw,” demanded the grimaced gym teacher.
“But sir, I don’t have gym clothes and I’m not saying this because I don’t like gym,” I did a 360 to show off the fact I was not wearing play clothes. As I turned to face him, I felt a sharp pain a little south of my groin. “Holy ****-tarts!” I dropped to the ground like a turkey during family confessions at the thanksgiving table. “What the **** could be wrong with you?” I nearly screamed.
“You foreign kids take all of the opportunities of our American children,” He replied trying to sound like he made any ****ing sense.
“Me, and my parents were born in this country asshole,” I took a breather to gather strength, “I’m going to ****ing sue your ass to Batamay!” I screamed again.
“Oh, sorry kid, my bad,” he walked to the center of the court. “Play ball!”
My jaw just dropped. This guy seriously assaulted me then shrugged it off like it was just a flicked booger. I struggled to get up and wiggled my way to the principles office. When I entered the room Secretary Miss Becky, the college interen, smiled and told me too wait. The second one of my cheeks touched the seat I was called to to Mr. Huffings office. “Mr. Huffing, the racist gym teacher just played target practice with my balls,” my throat harbored backed up curse words, “Please do something!”
“He does that every year, its fine,” again my jaw dropped was he serious? “Did you curse at him?”
I hesitated, “Yeah, but he-”
Mr. Huffing cut me off, “If you didn’t do that, he would have been in trouble. No offense to you Jason, but it is against school policies so curse at teachers. So if you keep your mouth shut, your record will be clean.”
I grinded my teeth together and limped out of fat butt’s office, “Stupid school. I have a feeling this year will be a bust.”
I skipped that class and made my way over to the McDonald’s on the side of the school after school had ended. Convenient for fat students, right? I get there, looked for the dazzling Thai girl Fai to find out she did not arrive yet, “Okay she’s not here yet.” I wait for an hour, then I go up to the counter to ask if she came then left.
“Oh the pretty Asian girl?” asked the blonde barbie that looked a bit like she wanted to do something extremely clumsy.
“Oh, well sorry to tell you this but she usually asks guys to come here, then she never comes. I suppose it’s a form of telling you off in Asia, I think,” She pondered it.
“You’re an idiot just because you can’t tell Asians apart, doesn’t mean you can assume all of our customs are alike. At least know that Fai is Thai and I am Chinese,” I said loudly. I expected her to drench her face in tears.
“Okey Dokey. My names Amber, what’s your name?” she asked with a huge smile on her face.
“I’m Jason,” I replied ever so puzzled.
“Hey asshole! There’s like a whole colony of people behind you! Move!” I moved and sat down at a near by bench or whatever they call it now a days and was pretty confused. Unsure of what to think. Today was eventful, very eventful. I was blown off, pounded in the nut sack and got embarrassed all in the same day. Eventful indeed.
I started to walk home. Angry that everyone took a jab screwing with my smart-ass exterior like it was a present during Christmas I started to go over physic formulas to calm my nerves. I got two blocks away from the McDonalds and Amber can running after me, “Jason! I’m sorry you got embarrassed. So, I wanted to know if you wanted to hang out tomorrow?” Amber asked breathlessly.
“Yeah, that’d be nice,” I said honestly. She was the only upside to today and I was kind of happy about it.
“Okay just come up to my job after school, and we can talk. You go to the school next door, right?”
“No problem and yeah sadly,” I did not notice it before but she was kind of cute. Blonde hair with brown highlights, slender and well developed body, flawless skin complimented my jade green eyes and a bird chilling on her right shoulder. “You know there’s a bird on your shoulder right?”
“You can see him?” She asked.
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”
“So you’re a Caladrius Bearer?”
“A what?” I asked.
“It’s an organization where we track down rouge creatures,” she answered.
“Oh like birds and dogs,” I said.
“No. Like fairies, leontophontes, Leslies, and sandmen,” she said as if what she had said was not weird at all.
“Those things don’t exist.”
“To the naked eye they don’t, but if you’re a Caladrius Bearer then it’s ever so normal to see one of these darling creatures roam about. Don’t you see them everyday?” she asked again sounding like what she was saying was ever so normal.
I thought about it and remembered seeing two abnormally small men about the height of my knee, with beards, and silk green outfits. I did not pay much mind; I just thought they were very smart, very hairy babies, “Do Leprechauns count?”
“Then, no, I haven’t seen anything weird,” I lied.
“Oh,” she said looking disappointed.
“So if you could like tell me about these things then it’d be a bit helpful to me,” I said acting like I cared. It was a bummer to see her down.
“Awesome, just so you know don’t let anyone else know you can see these them. Chances are they are or will tell a Ruper. Last thing you would want is a Ruper on your butt 24/7," she informed.
"What's a Ruper?"
"We catch the creatures and use them for good, or cage them and send them to our main office in London. Rupers either kill them if they can't use them or use them for whatever evil purposes."
"That's not good. Well I'll be off."
"Yeah later," we both went our separate ways and all I could think about is what she told me. I was a Caladrius Bearer but I seriously doubt those existed and then I thought that she was a metal patient from the local asylum. Yeah, she had to be from the local asylum, because none of this could be true. The only thing that could be true was the hard facts in front of me. As I thought this over, I bumped into someone, or better yet something. I looked to see I had bumped into what seemed to be a walking vegetable. "Ewww a naked yam," I kicked at it, "Go away."
It made a whimper, and said, "I'm a Mandrake!" It screamed and ran down the street.
"That's it. I caught her crazy."