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Thread: But We Call It Murder. [Part I]

  1. #1
    Newbie Collared is off to a good start
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    But We Call It Murder. [Part I]

    The images of last night’s tragedy flashed over the soft illusive sunrise. She couldn't think straight. Where to next? What will happen now? Should I go save them? Poor Lucia couldn't make up her mind. It was only a matter of time because they started the body count and realized who had escaped. Jason's sword still gripped in her hand, she lay under a tree, dying…. or at least waiting for her death.

    It was a late summer day and Lucia was out on her morning walk into the forest. She loved that place so much. So full of life yet so empty of the world’s strange and deranged events. She found fruit, plants, and flowers that she loved all the time back there. She wish she could live there forever. But it couldn’t be done.

    Deeper into Detail, this wasn’t one of her normal summer walks. Well as far as SHE knew it was, but we all know it wasn’t. Shhh… don’t tell her. Walking down the path and spying her secret entrance to her own little path, she spotted a man taking a snooze next to the brush covering her entrance. He didn’t look but 15 years. She ducked over to the side of the path, approaching the stranger cautiously, not knows if he was hostile or friendly. Crawling behind the brush, she reached out and poked the boy’s ear, waking him up and springing him into action.

    “Who goes there!?” He shouted as he rushed to his feet. Lucia ducked behind the brush, eying him as he spun around, looking for the ignorance that poked his ear. She closed her eyes and held her breath. Hair stuck up on the back of her neck as she heard, “You there. Girl. Did you poke me?” She knew she had been found out. The little 7 year old stood up slowly.

    “Yes I did… I’m sorry mister.” She frowned sadly and looked as if she was about to cry. He looked at her and the face she made almost made him cry himself. Her light blonde hair partially covering her face as her head hung low, facing her tanned slippers. Her hands were stuck together over her dusty dress as she fiddled with them.

    “It… It’s okay. What is your name?” he said curiously. She looked up, the sadness erasing from her face quickly as she smiled brightly.

    "I'm Lucia!" She grind, still examining him. Her attention is brought to the sword attached to his tattered belt,"Whoa mister, where'd you get that!?" The teen looked down at where she was staring and started to removing it from it's sheath but ceased when he saw Lucia was uneasy about it.

    "My grandfather gave it to my father who gave it to me. It's a family heirloom. I guard it with my life. Would you like see it?" he smiles. She nodded quickly, anxious to see the revealed blade. Slowly, the boy removes the sword from it's sheath, and raising it up , about level with his face. Lucia stood in awe as it's silvery finish glimmered brilliantly in the sunlight. She then shook her head, removing herself from the lull.

    "Oh yeah! What's your name?" She asked quickly.

    "I'm Jason. It's nice to meet you by the way." He smiled and stuck out his hand. She stepped back and fell over the brush. Jason jumped up to look over the brush and help her up. "Lucia! Are you okay?" he asked.

    But she was gone....


    Part I, I don't know how things will go from here but I think I'll find something.
    Hope you like and get many happy moments from my upcoming series :]
    You can have the best forum ever.
    But when the mods lock because they have nothing better to do
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  2. #2
    Newbie Ucaediea is off to a good start Ucaediea's Avatar
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    Re: But We Call It Murder. [Part I]

    I like the twist at the end of this part of the story, A couple of typo's (which all of us writers make) But nuttin I couldn't make out Can't wait to read your series.^^

  3. #3
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: But We Call It Murder. [Part I]

    Oh... what a great story!!!!!!! Why didn't I read it sooner? It's really great!!!!!! Wonderful work you've done here... with the descrptions and everything- it was almost as if I was there... very cool.. I like the way you write...

    And the characters seemed perfect- you've managed to put the life in them perfectly- seven year old girl reminds me of when I was seven, but Jason reminds me of someone from another book or movie... that's cool- nice work with characters... Mine are always the same- very alike me...

    I'll be waiting for the next chapter!!!! ^^

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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