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Thread: The Demon

  1. #1
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    The Demon

    The Meeting

    There they were, looking angrily in each others eyes...
    “Give me the map,” he said, his voice was low and it sounded like the souls of the people he had killed spoke with him…
    “This one?” she asked, pulling out a peace of paper with strange drawings on it.
    He grinned and the evil fire burned brighter in his eyes.
    “At last… I’m so close…” he thought to himself.
    “I’m afraid I can’t give it to you…” she said, crumpling the map up and putting fire to it, she did it quickly enough so that when he got to her it had already turned to ashes. With a light laugh she blew the dust into his face. With an angry roar he launched at her, pulled her by her hair and put his sword to her neck.
    “Why did you have to do that?” he hissed crossly. “Now I’ll have to kill you slowly.”
    “You know you’ll lose any chances of finding Raukotur if you do that…” she laughed through pain, so calmly that it made him even madder. “The map will disappear with me…”
    He threw her to the ground now for she was right; he had to find it, no matter what…
    “Talk!!!” he screamed, making her start.
    “I’m afraid I can’t do that either,” she said, slowly picking her up and looking straight into his eyes, he could see tears in her big blue eyes and it made him smile… “You’re destined to take me with you… You can torture me as you wish; you won’t get any information from me… I promised to not to let this happen, and I keep my promises.”
    “How will I know that you’re not leading me in the wrong direction?” he asked.
    “I’m not alike you… that’s how you’ll know it…” she answered.

    To Be Continued!!!
    Hope You liked this... Any comments and suggestions welcomed...

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  2. #2
    Pro Utilitate Hominum LordCastigator may be famous one day LordCastigator may be famous one day LordCastigator's Avatar
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    Re: The Demon

    Interesting. Might just have to watch this space. Might turn into a rather interesting story...
    The Madman previously known as Daniel219

    Wish I could get on here more often. *Sigh* The down side to night shift...

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    Otaku aeonking is off to a good start
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    Re: The Demon

    one of the best ive heard hope you do continue as i would love to see the rest to come

  4. #4
    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    Re: The Demon

    Very good indeed! ^_^ You've got a knack for storytelling. I'm gonna have to keep an eye on this story. I hope to see more! Keep up the good work. ~S


  5. #5
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    Re: The Demon

    Sounds pretty interesting to me. You should have spaced your sentences a little so it wouldn't feel so crowded. Your storyline was good and your charecters are developing. Very good. Can't wait to see the next installment.

    Our love will go on until the end of time. I will always be yours and you will be mine.

  6. #6
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: The Demon

    Yay!!! You liked it!!! Thank You all guys!!! I hope you like this part also... though the best still awaits...
    And I've spaced the the sentences a little so I'd be easier to read it...

    The Key

    “What’s your name anyway?” she asked, that was the first word she spoke in the 12 hours they had walked together.
    “People call me Gurthwath,” he answered. She stopped and took a look at this man again, but he was hid by the dark. She had heard this name many times- “shadow of death” he was called and death he brought.
    Memories of blood and fire forced their way into her mind again, she shook them of and continued her way…

    “Why him?! This can’t be,” she thought to herself, looking up to the sky.
    “My name is Ameena, she said then, but he didn’t seem to notice that…

    Suddenly Ameena stopped, looking at something through the dark. As Gurthwah approached her, he noticed two pillars that seemed to mark an entrance.
    “Is this it?” he asked, putting his hand on his sword.
    “No, this is not where the Raukotur lies… but here we will find a key that will be of use when we get closer to Raukotur…” Ameena answered.
    “A key? Haven’t heard of that…” Gurthwath said angrily.
    “Who of us saw the map?!” she answered just as crossly.

    “Stay here, I’ll find it...” he said, launching towards the entry. “I’ll need you alive.”
    He was now at the pillars where great stairs, leading down deep into the dark of underground, appeared. He pulled his sword out and entered. The stairs led him into a great hall. L Fire, burning at the furthest wall, enlightened the empty hall a little. As Gurthwath moved through the hall, a woman’s figure appeared.
    “What do you seek here!?” she asked.
    “A key,” he answered, moving towards this woman.
    “The key of Raukotur?” she laughed and then suddenly, with no warning, she fired a fire bomb, Gurthwath laughed as it passed by him, but then he heard a moan and took a look towards there, just to see the fire ball hit Ameena.

    “Deamn, I needed her…” he whispered, getting ready to attack, the guardian launched another fire attack, he avoided it and attacked. He moved fast, but not fast enough… Again she blasted another strong attack, this time getting him and pushing him back.

    He prepared to use his magic against her, when suddenly Ameena appeared again, glowing in light blue. She attacked the guardian with fury, and managed to get her with her first hit. K Ameena pierced her little dagger through her stomach and she fell to the ground, her eyes were full of fear and pain, still with a laugh she whispered: “You don’t know what you've done.”
    Last edited by Lasura; Jul 19, 2007 at 03:52 PM.

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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    Otaku aeonking is off to a good start
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    Re: The Demon

    this just keeps getting better and better more, more, more its great

  8. #8
    Pro Utilitate Hominum LordCastigator may be famous one day LordCastigator may be famous one day LordCastigator's Avatar
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    Re: The Demon

    Glowing eh? Too much time near the local nuclear reactor? That's what happens when you grow up in Springfield. LOL. Just Kidding.

    Interesting story. Please continue :P .
    The Madman previously known as Daniel219

    Wish I could get on here more often. *Sigh* The down side to night shift...

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