raja_psyche

"The Dilemma of a Persona"

"Why can't I be happy? Why can't I have someone to call my own? Why do I have to suffer from sadness and sorrow? Why are those people kept on leaving me behind?"

These questions lingered in my mind as I sat in the swing... in my favorite swing in the abandoned playground... There are two swings... I wonder who would sit in the opposite swing... I feel that all this time, I am all alone... My heart beats so slowly... I felt like it was fading... My eyes are swelled up with tears knowing that there are still existent fears... I guess I am afraid that there is no one who would care to listen to my worries due to my unresolved problems... I wonder why no one cares... I can't comprehend... These people are so unjust, they kept on inflicting pain on my heart... I hate this feeling... I always try to conceal these hurts by making a fake smile... I know no one cares whether these smiles are real or not... *smiles*... I can call myself a great pretender...

*Hears some footsteps nearing"

I am still occupied with various thoughts... then I heard some footsteps nearing on the swing where I sat... I turned my head around, and I find a boy who was about my age. I was getting paranoid on that time... because he might hurt me... I gazed into his eyes... His eyes had no trace of spark, or I can say hope... He was holding a teddy bear close to his chest... I wonder what his pains are... But I can't start a conversation... Because I am too sad to do so... I turned my head in front... "you can sit in the swing, if you want to..," Those words came out from my mouth unintentionally... then I wondered if he heard it.

"Thank you...," the boy said as he sat by the opposite swing. Hearing him speak made me feel that he wanted to talk to someone too... I turned to meet my eyes with his... but I felt loneliness, I can't stand it... I began to sob... Then the boy "tapped" my shoulder without looking at me...

"Cry as much as you want... you know you are lucky because you know how to cry... I don't know how to cry", he sheepishly said.

"huh... *cries even more* you called me lucky... how could you..."

"... I'm sorry... i just wanted to help you release that sadness and sorrow... sorry", he said. He held his teddy bear closer to his chest, as if he was in pain... I saw him frown, witnessing this made me feel guilty for some reason.

"I live a life with no one... I held my fears in my heart... I cried with no one listening... thank you for listening... thanks..." I feel a slight relief...

He stood up from the swing and stood in front of me... This time he tried to look into my eyes... and he wiped my tears with a handkerchief. I can't move my hand to slap him... I felt his sincerity that I never once felt...

"Thank you... hmmm what's your name? My name is Tessa..."

"Does my name matter?" he asked

"Yes, because I think you are my friend now."

"Its... Gaara... thanks for asking, Tessa" he answered. I felt like his face lighten up a bit and felt good in doing so...

"Why are you sad, Gaara? I just can't help but to ask..."

"hm... I am the same as you... I feel like I am all alone... but in my case I feel like I am left behind by the living world..."

"Can you tell me more?"

"Everyone tells me that I'm a monster... I am only a product of the unknown, they said..." He placed the handkerchief in his pocket.

"There is no such thing as unknown. When you are born, you are known to the world, Gaara" I said.

"That's quite an interesting... thought... I hope my siblings would understand that... but its too late... too late..."

"Too late? I don't understand... Gaara"... I began to cry again with his story... I wanted to help him... I wanted to make him feel that he is not alone...

Gaara, then gave me his teddy bear... the teddy bear that he made for himself to keep him company... He told me that the teddy bear is his treasure... I reached my hands to receive his teddy bear and hugged it. "this teddy bear is soft... Thanks Gaara..."

"I want you to have it Tessa. hmmm... That's the symbol of our friendship... thank you" he said while smiling.

I have nothing to give him as of the moment... Then I stood from my swing and bent to give him a quick kiss on his forehead. That's the best gift I thought I could give him... I wonder if he cared...

"... thank you so much Gaara. Your time spent with me means a lot."

"Thank you"... teardrops fell from his green eyes... I thought he found comfort while he was crying... I took my handkerchief from my pocket and tried... to wipe his tears... but I can't get hold of him... I felt like he, my friend was fading away, in my presence... i tried to wipe his tears but... I can't. My hands passed right through his face. I cried... and I cried...

"Please keep that teddy bear with you... that would remind you that once in your life you met me... I will keep this memory forever... I just wished that I met you sooner... now I need to go to the place where I belong... better to be late than never... thank you my friend". This was my friend's final statement... as he disappeared like fireflies in the midnight sky...

I did not say anything... I felt that my mouth got numb... All I did was to have a distant gaze while my only friend disappeared before my eyes...

I hugged Gaara's teddy bear as I made a sincere smile... "Eventhough he is gone... I know he is my angel who watches over me." I wrote Gaara's name in the sand... "see you again, somewhere, somehow my friend"

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Author's notes:Hmmm... this is the end of my fictional story... I am thinking of adding an additional chapter or so, or should I not? Critiques and comments are highly appreciated. Thanks for reading ^^. Its been aeons since I wrote a fanfic.

Edit: By the way, I wrote this fanfic while I was listening to one of Naruto's theme music "Sadness and Sorrow"

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highteckdudu

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I tryed to see things from your point of view but i cant seem to get my head that far up my ass!
Visit www.highteckdudu.webs.com!

!Mini Dev

You can't end it! me to hightek, love the picutre so cool yet the boy on the swing looks a little creepier than i had imagined... great writing keep it up, and please some more!

raja_psyche

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