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Thread: Dirty Pair Fanfiction

  1. #81
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    Thumbs up Re: Dirty Pair Fanfiction-Ch 34 (Part 2)

    Here's Ch 34 (Part 2)-K&K

    "Gomen, but my tomo here can sometimes become a bit aggressive." apologized Doctor 4. It seemed that everyone in the rec room had followed the time lord to the dining hall. The blonde was the first one to speak. "We must be in an asylum, Genie! They're all nuts! (She dropped beside the smaller girl and felt her wrist) Are you OK, Merrill?" she said. Placing her hands across the girl's chest, a golden glow emanated from her fingers and the small form began to groan and move a little. "Arigato Kami! She's going to be just fine." said the blonde.

    "Ga, Kalu, Okada, Mane-O, Kokoro, Alcazar!" intoned the giant, still waving around his stick. "Christ, Louie! Knock off that crap before you blow up something else, you baka!" yelled the redhead, yanking the stick out of his hands. "Introductions seem to be called for, Ladies, Sir. I am the Doctor and this young lady is Mrs. Bulma Brief. You are aboard a starship which is commanded by---" The Doctor was rudely interrupted. "Who the F are you morons and oro the jigoku are you doing on my starship?" bellowed a very angry young green-aizued redhead. She was brandishing a Mark XIII in each hand and they were covering the five (now very frightened) new visitors.

    The blonde stepped forward and laid her staff at Kei's feet. At a sign from her, the others surrendered their weapons as well. She boldly stepped forward to face Kei and extending a hand in greeting. "Gomen, my dear. I am Melissa, a high priestess of My-Lee, our god. This is Louie, my champion (she indicated the stick wielder). These are my tomos Genie (the redhead) and Ila (the one with glasses) and Merrill (the littlest one on the floor stirred and groaned again). We mean you no harm and honestly, my dear, we have no idea either how we got here or even where 'here' is!" Kei was about to reply when--

    "Lovely Ladies, would you be gracious enough to do me the honour of bearing my children?" asked Miroku (the monk) who had just arrived. "Just ignore him. He asks that question every time he meets a female for the first time." explained Sango, bashing his skull in with her fist. "Just ORO the jigoku is HE?" demanded Kei, gesturing at Louie with her ion cannons. "Oh, sorry! He's a sorcerer or a magician, I'm a priestess, Ila's a witch, Genie's a swordsman and Merrill's a thief." explained Melissa. "She's a ORO?" demanded Kei. "I meant treasure hunter and adventurer, of course." corrected the blonde. Kei continued to glare at Merrill. "Do you five bakashave any idea at all oro we are?" she asked. "Does anyone at the sanitarium know that you five have escaped?" yelled Bulma. "You mean that this isn't a cave?" asked Louie. Kei was fuming! "Shut up! All of you! This is not a cave, tomo! It is a starship! Mine! We are intergalactic cops! That means that out here we are the LAW! By your own admission, at least one of you is a felon! (She looked poinedly at Merrill) By harboring a thief, you four are accessories after the fact! You're all under arrest! Jamie! Spike! Throw 'em in the brig! That's an order!" commanded Kei.

    "Bely that order! Ooh! I've always wanted to say that! Oro have you screwed up this time, Kei?" inquired Yuri sweetly. "Hi! I'm Yuri Donovan. The loud-mouthed baka is Kei O'Halloran." she added. "Who the F are you calling a loud-mouthed baka, you vacuum-headed freak!" yelled Kei, aiming her foot at her in a savate kick to the shins which Yuri easily dodged. Yuri explained their situation to the 'newbies' and then said "Onegai gomen (excuse) us for a moment." She grabbed the redhead and whispered "Do you have any rooms left on this tub that you haven't told me about?" Kei thought and then said "Well, there's the library on Level 5. The girls could bunk in there if you repped some beds and stuff for them, I guess." Yuri nodded. "That should be OK. I never knew that you had a library on this piece of crap. (Kei glared icily at her exec) Now oro about Louie? Where do we put him?" Kei grinned. "You can have him, Yuri. He looks like your type!" Yuri bristled. "Very funny, Kei! Who can we stick him in with?" Kei chuckled. "Put him in with those nutty demons! He's a sorcerer, ain't he?" Yuri made for the door. "I've got to find them some fuku to wear! Did you see oro they've got on? Louie's OK but the rest--" Yuri left the sentence unfinished and rejoined Kei. They turned back to their new arrivals.

    Kei crooked a finger at Louie. "Follow me, Louie. So you're a sorcerer, eh? Well, I'm putting you in with the monk, the fox, the wolf and the dog. Miroku, take Louie back to your rooms and get him settled in. Arigato houshi (preist or monk)." said Kei, handing Louie over to Miroku. "You'll like Inu Yasha and Kouga, Louie. And wait'll you see Shippou-chan!" Miroku chattered away happily to his new tomo on their way to the lift. Yuri had taken the other four in hand and escorted them to the other lift. After issuing her commands (Merrill kept looking for the operator. She could hear but not see him!) they soon reached Level 5. Yuri swiftly conducted them to where Kei's library was supposed to be. Melissa wondered what the strange device was which Yuri had brought along with her. She hadn't long to wonder. Yuri used her own override code to open the door and then stood aside for them to enter. She followed them in and set the replicator down on the table and began to speak to it!

    Shi (four) beds, shi tables, roku (six) chairs," Yuri commanded. Instantly the items appeared on the floor by the gadget! "Hey! Even Louie's magic don't work that good!" exclaimed Merrill who had made an astounding recovery from Bulma's pistol whip! Yuri smiled at her. "This isn't magic, Merrill. It's science. Refrigerator, microwave oven, TV set, vidphone, vidscreen, shi armoires, shi bureaus, shi complete modern female wardrobes, shi complete bathrooms/showers/tubs," commanded the exec. Soon the room and the bathrooms were completely furnished and the requested fuku appeared in the armoires and bureaus. Yuri surveyed the scene approvingly. "That should do it, girls." she said. "I'll leave you to get yourselves settled in and changed. I've told the computer to answer all your questions. I'll come back to take you down to dinner at 1700, er, five o'clock." she added. "Oro's a computer?" Merrill wanted to know. Yuri grinned. "Watch , oro is our destination?" A voice from nowhere visible answered her query. "Our destination is Kagura, a small planetoid in the Orion Nebulae. But you knew that already, Yuri." replied the computer. Yuri ignored 'CC' (Central Computer). "See? 'CC' can become a bit stuck on himself at times. We just ignore him. Just ask a question and 'CC' answers it. Now, food and drinks in here (refrigerator), fuku (clothing) in here (armoires), underthings, kimonos, pajamas and stuff in here (bureaus), this cooks food and heats liquids (microwave oven), this entertains (tv set with remote control box), this communicates (vidphone), these are for general ship announcements (PA speakers in ceiling corners), this (PA mike) allows you to communicate/announce to individuals and/or the whole ship's company, and that panel controls the door's controls. Put these on, onegai (hands each a set of comlink earrings). With these you can communicate with Kei, myself and most of our other guests/crewmen. Now, any questions for me, girls?" asked Yuri.

    Genie sat down on one of the bunks. "Are you guys really the law around here? And you're in command of this 'ship' as you call it?" she asked. "Hai, Genie. We are 'trouble consultants' or tro-cons, police officers. We work for the 3WA (you all know what it stands forby now. Ditto for UG!), the peace keeping branch of UG, a federation of planets/galaxies. But, nai, Genie. This is Kei's starship, not mine. She is in command, not me. (Yuri noted the strange looks on their faces) I know it's hard to believe but you really are trillions of miles from Terra, oro you call Earth, your home world. (Yuri glanced at her wristchromo and frowned) Ooh, sorry guys. I gotta run. I have to check on our flight crew. Although Kei's in charge, I'm still second in command. You see, I'm both first officer and exec. I'd get out of those outfits if I were you. The 'Angel' isn't exactly oro I'd call warm. Most of the ladies aboard wear pants, sweaters, jackets and boots. On Kagura, you'll freeze to death in oro you've got on now! Ja Ne. Bye." Yuri hurried away, calling back over her shoulder to them. "Don't worry, Merrill. We're not going to arrest you or your tomos. Have fun now." And Yuri was gone.



    To Be Continued in Ch 34 (Part 3)

  2. #82
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    Thumbs up Re: Dirty Pair Fanfiction-Ch 34 (Part 3)

    Here's Ch 34 (Part 3)-K&K


    Merrill yanked open her armoire door. "Ooh, Genie! Ila! Melissa! Look at all the cool fuku in here!" she crowed. Her arms were full of garments. Eager to try them on, Merrill rushed into her bathroom to change. Genie had discovered 'beer' (sorta like Oakland ale anyway) in the fridge and was already well n her way to getting loaded! Melissa was enthralled with the TV set. She plopped into a chair, remote in hand and was soon ensconced in a Terran 'soap opera'. Ila tried casting a spell to contact Louie and it didn't work! "Hell! I must've gotten the words out of sequence!" she complained. "Nai, the monk told me that our magic and the other guys' demonic powers won't work here. Some kind of 'neutralizing field' they have installed on board. Guess your spells won't work either. Come over here and watch this TV thingy with me." said Melissa. Ila pouted and said "I'm going to go and find Louie." she announced. Genie belched. "You can have him, Ila! Want a beer?" she asked, popping open the first one of her third six-pack.

    Her bathroom door opened and Merrill ran out. "Look at me! Look at me! I'm beautiful!" Merrill danced about, showing off her new garments. Red blazer, crimson slacks, black turtleneck sweater, socks and short black boots made up her new ensemble. As she spun around for the fifth time, her pants fell down! "You do know that you have to use a belt with those, don't you?" A slight brunette stood in the doorway, smoking a cigarette. She was clad in a powder aoishi pantsuit, grey pullover top, socks and high top red boots. "Hi, guys! I'm Faye, Faye Valentine. Pleased to meet you. Our captain asked me to stop by and make sure you're settling in OK. (Faye noticed that Merrill was still standing in full view of the hall doorway in her underpants! Faye reached behind her and hit the door control panel, closing the hall portals.) Pull your pants up, for Christ's sake, you baka!" said Faye. She rummaged around in Merrill's bureau and pulled out a red belt. "Here, that goes through the loops of your pants and fastens in the front." faye tossed Merrill the belt. "You guys want a tour of the 'Angel'? I'll be happy to show you around the place. I'm in the same business that you are except that you hunt for treasure. I hunt for people. I'm a 'cowgirl', a bounty hunter. I'll wait for you to change." said Faye. Merrill finally conquered her wardrobe problem (with Melissa's help) and cinched her new belt tight.

    Genie stood up and crashed to the floor. Melissa looked over and said "She's drunk again." With Ila's help, Melissa and Faye carried the big redhead to the sofa and laid her down. Then Melissa and Ila rummaged around, selected some outfits and disappeared into their own bathrooms to change. Ila was the first one out wearing a violet pantsuit, lavender pullover top, socks and low cut violet boots. Melissa finally returned in a white jumpsuit and a black tee shirt (similar to Kome's pink ones), socks and high top cavalier boots. "Hurry up you guys! I wanna see everything on this whatever you call it!" exclaimed Merrill. Faye offered each of the three a smoke but they all declined. Shrugging, Faye shook out one for herself and lit it. Blowing a few smoke rings (which fascinated Merrill!) she led her small trio to the lifts.

    Ila, being the last one out, reached back to pull the door shut behind her but she could find no handle or knob on it! "Hey Faye! I can't shut the door. How come?" she asked. Faye reached over Ila's shoulder and hit the 'close' panel beside the doors. The doors snapped shut. Meanwhile, Inu Yasha's group had met up with the 'Meiji' group (Kenshin's gang) and with the Saiyaans. All the girls headed for the dining hall while the guys (which now included Louie) headed for the bar where Saitoh hajime was on bartending duty today. Shippou immediately scampered off to find Kagome. Louie ordered ale for all hands. "My treat, guys!" he announced (after he found out it was free!) to the whole room. Soon all ten of them were quite intoxicated. Then Louie noticed that Jamie and Kei were also sitting at the bar. Jamie was feasting on a shpherd's pie and a Skotch while Kei was nursing a vodka and writing up reports on her vidpad. Louie offered each of them an ale. Jamie had accepted and gone back to eating. Kei had simply held up her vodka (which Louie assumed to be water) and shook her head meaning: "Nai, I've got one already." Louie, of course, misinterpreted her signal, a dangerous error!

    "Never yet met a broad who could hold her booze! Not even Genie can outdrink ME!" boasted the mage. Jamie's ears perked up suddenly. "Louie! Ye dinna know what yer doing, Lad! Don't get her riled up if ye know what's good fer ye!" whispered Jamie urgently. Alas! He was too late as Louie had no intention of backing down from a mere woman! The stage had been set for the 'Great Drink-Off!

    END OF Chapter 34. Chapter 35 "The Blast Off Affair" or "Never try to outanything an Angel!" will follow soon. Please r/r and see ya soon--K&K

    To Be Continued in Ch 35 (Part 1)

  3. #83
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    Thumbs up Re: Dirty Pair Fanfiction-Ch 35(Part 1)

    Here's Ch 35 (Part 1)-K&K;

    Chapter 35

    "The Blast-Off Affair" or "Never try to outanything an Angel!"

    DISCLAIMER: OK Kaoru, it's all yours! First, thank you to Mr. T. for the use of the Angels. Thanks to everyone else who is letting us use their creations. How was that, Yuri? Great! Oh yes it was, Kei! Well, we left you up in the air so let's get to Chapter 35 without further preamble:-

    You will remember (no doubt!) that Jamie McCrimmon was just a tad too late in stopping Louie from challenging Kei to a drinking contest! Bad move on Louie's part as we shall soon see!

    "Oro? Oro kind of male chauvinist sexist crap just came outta your mouth, sorcerer? Maybe I can't cast spells, mutter mumbo jumbo, cause storms and whatnot like you can but I can and will outdrink and outfight anybody on this ship, male or female, anytime they want! Ask Kome if you don't believe me, boyo! So, put up or shut up!" Kei punctuated this challenge by crashing a gloved fist down on the bar counter.

    "Back dooon lad! Apologize now before it's too late!" begged jamie McCrimmon. "Set 'em up, barkeep! And keep 'em coming! Name your poison, Bigmouth!" retorted Louie, who was already three sheets to the wind! Remembering their depleted supply of liquor, Kei said "Vodka, Saitoh, onegai." to the BOD who happened to be Saitoh Hajime. He began to fill two shot glasses with Smirnoff's.

    "Is that how broads drink, eh? Men drink out of steins or flagons like this!" said Louie, holding up his own flagon of ale. Jamie grabbed the huge sorcerer's arm. "Lad! Have ye ever drunk vodka before? Nae? Then go aisy (easy) on it! The stuff tastes like water and ye think ye can drink it and drink it! Then it knocks ye on yer arse! That's why Haji (Saitoh) was pouring it into shot glasses. So, be careful, tomo mine!" Louie shook off the Scot and said "If she can drink it so can I! But I insist on drinking out of a real glass not a kiddie cup like that!" Saitoh looked at Kei who shrugged her shoulders and nodded.

    "Why not! If he wants it in flagons then make it flagons, Saitoh!" she said with a devilish grin. "Bottoms up, girlie!" Louie drained his flagon at one gulp! Jamie looked worried. "Cheers!" said Kei with a smile as she did likewise. "Your turn, magician!" Louie bolted down his second flagon quickly. "Now you, Reds!" Kei glared at him but she picked up her second flagon and emptied it just as speedily. "Top that, tomo mine!" she invited. "Like drinking spring water!" Louie finished his third flagon. "Had enough, Love?" he taunted. Kei bristled as her temper started to get the better of her. "I'm Gaelic and I ain't even got started yet! Worry about yourself, Boyo!" Kei guzzled down her third and smashed the empty flagon down on the bar top. Then the redhead smiled sweetly at the big hulking guy. (Storm warnings are hoisted when Kei looks sweet and innocent, folks!)

    "Wanna play blast off (aka countdown in some places), Louie? It's real simple. Usually you take a mug of either beer or ale and drop in a shot glass full of booze and guzzle it down as fast as you can! However, when we do it we'll use a full flagon of vodka and a shot glass of beer or ale. But how about we go it one better? To each flagon of vodka, we'll drop in a shot glass of VO Canadian Club whiskey. Oro do you say, Boyo?" Jamie went white! "Holy Christ!" thought the Scot. "This is going too far. I'd better get Yuri down here stat!" Excusing himself with the excuse of some work to help Donnatella with, Jamie left post haste in search of Yuri Donovan!

    "Why not!" replied Louie. "This vodka stuff is pretty tame! Bring it on, Honey!" Louie glared defiantly at his hostess. Saitoh had already begun filling shot glasses with VO. "I'll go first, Louie, just to show you how it's done, OK?" Louie nodded and Kei picked up a filled shot glass. "Holding it over the filled flagon, she said "Count me down, Saitoh, will ya?" she asked. Saitoh obliged by counting down backwards from ten. When he reached zero, blast off, Kei dropped her shot into the flagon of vodka and drank it down quickly. "10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5--" Saitoh stopped counting down as Kei finished and set down the flagon, wiping her mouth with her glove. "Roku (six) seconds! Pretty good, Kei!" praised Saitoh.

    "That's easy!" said Louie, picking up a filled shot and holding it suspended over a filled flagon. "Count me down, Haji!" he yelled defiantly. Saitoh did so and at blast off, Louie dropped in the shot and gulped. "10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5--" Louie crashed his flagon on the bar counter. "Dead even." said Saitoh. "This is fun, Reds! Your turn now unless you're scared!" laughed the sorcerer. The red-headed hellcat was furious! "I'll show you who's scared, you loud-mouthed baka!" Kei picked up ni (two) filled shots and prepared for blast off. "Ready, Saitoh!" she said. When Saitoh reached blast off, Kei dropped both shots into the vodka and guzzled as fast as she could. "10, 9, 8--" Saitoh again halted as Kei finished. "San (three) seconds! That's got to be a record, Kei!" The ex-Shinsungumi officer was visibly impressed. Louie grabbed his flagon. "If she can do it with ni (two) shots, then I can do it with san (three)!" he yelled, picking up three full shots and holding them over the vodka. "Ready, Haji! Count me down!" said Louie. "Are you sure, Louie?" asked Saitoh with a worried expression on his face. Louie nodded and glared at him. "OK then. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0, blast off!" Louie threw the shots in and tossed his head back, flagon in his fist. "10,9--" Saitoh had stopped counting as Louie went over backwards, crashing to the floor and spewing booze all over the place!

    Saitoh held up Kei's hand and announced "The winner!" Kei bobbed her head and said "Any other challengers?" Just then Yuri arrived and stormed up to the bar, Jamie following in the wake of a very pissed off tro-con! Following Jamie were Kagome, Sango, Bulma, Melissa, Ila, Merrill and Faye Valentine! Yuri immediately dropped to her knees beside the fallen sorcerer. "He's out cold, Kei! Jamie, go fetch my medkit stat! You stupid baka! Can't I leave you alone for one minute without your getting into trouble!" Yuri Donovan was fuming with anger! Kei shrugged her shoulders. "He started it, Vacuumhead, I didn't! I just finished it. I sure as jigoku didn't tell him to try and outdrink a Gael (Irish person), did I?"

    Jamie returned with the medkit and Yuri administered a dose of amyl nitrite to Louie's nasal passages (OK, she held smelling salts under the dope's nose until he came to!). Louie shook his hand, sat up and said "It was a great fight, Ma, but I lost! Who are you? Where am I? Oro time is it? Ka-Mi! I feel sick!" Louie threw up all over poor Yuri! "Yuck! How much did he drink, Saitoh?" demanded the exec. Saitoh held up five fingers. "Almost five flagons of vodka but the last couple had a shot of VO in them. Then when Kei did two shots, he tried three and well, that's how he ended up down there." Yuri glared daggers at Kei.

    "And you won again, I suppose? Are you happy now, baka?" she cried fiercely. Louie had passed out again. Meanwhile Kagome and Sango had grabbed Inu Yasha, Kouga and Miroku and were trouncing them soundly. (They allowed the Louie vs Kei bout to continue and said nothing!). Bulma had already decked Vegeeta and Goku. Melissa and Ila were trying to pull the aoishi-maned bombshell off of the two Saiyaans. Faye was smoking a cheroot and giggling hysterically.

    To Be Continued in Ch 35 (Part 2)

  4. #84
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    Thumbs up Re: Dirty Pair Fanfiction-Ch 35(Part 2)

    Here's Ch 35 (Part 2)-K&K

    Very uncharacteristically (for her anyway!), Merrill had attacked Kei like a wildcat, clawing, biting, punching, kicking and pulling Kei's hair! Kei had simply flung the little hellfire halfway across the room! Merrill came racing back. Then she noticed Kei's Mark XIII on the bar and grabbed it! "Put that thing doon, Merrill, darlin'! Ye diina know what you're doing! That thing's dangerous!" yelled Jamie, diving across the bar and trying to wrest the weapon from her grasp. The two of them struggled until-- Zap! Zap! Zap! Three blasts of white hot energy sizzled around the room, sending everyone diving for cover!

    Serena was walking in carrying a tray of food for the Saiyaans and was in the direct line of fire! "Watch it, kid!" screamed faye, launching herself at the frightened girl and sending the tray flying. She pushed Sailor Moon to the floor, shielding the scout with her own body. Yuri ran to assist Jamie and was struck across the jaw by the cannon. She collapsed on top of Louie.

    "F this shit!" yelled an enraged brunette, drawing her Glock 7 automatic. Faye took careful aim and fired. Her shot struck the ion cannon, causing it to fly out of Merrill's hand. Jamie decked Merrill lightly on the chin and she collapsed into his arms. He handed the unconscious girl over to Ila. "Oro's going on? You guys always leave me out of all the fun! I love a dam good fight!" Genie, bradsword in hand, jumped into the melee, swing her weapon wildly. "Hey! Stupid!" Genie swung round and directly into a hard haymaker right which dropped her to the floor with a crash! Faye dusted her hands and said calmly "You guys are worse than Spike, Jett and Ed! Ed! Christ, where the F is she? Yuri, where's the warp core on this thing? Ed said it wasn't working right and she was going to fix it! Wake up, dammit! Take me to the warp core now!" yelled Faye. Spike Miroku and Legato had just hurried over to help.

    "Take him to sick bay, guys! And that sword toting redhead and that little hellcat too!" Faye indicated Louie, Genie and Merrill in turn. Supporting Yuri who was still groggy from the pistolwhipping and stunk to high heaven, Faye headed out to find Ed. Yuri mumbled "Level 3. Subsector Alpha. Third door on the right." Faye dragged a slumping Yuri onto the lift and repeated her instructions to the lift control. "Authorization codes needed for access to all secure sectors." replied lift control.Yuri's aizu fluttered and opened. "Valhall. Code 1-Alpha. Yuri. Two." she muttered. "Access denied. Codes not valid." replied lift control. "Shit! Ed must have changed the Kami shimatta codes again! Well, there's more than one way to skin a cat!" said Faye, laying Yuri down on the lift's floor. She deftly removed the access panel and crossed a few wires. Then she stuck her lock pick into it and shorted out the system. The doors clanged shut and the lift shot upwards. It stopped almost immediately and the doors flew open. Level 3- Subsector Alpha said the sign facing Faye across the corridor. Hefting Yuri, she slung her over her back and fireman carried her to the third door on the right labeled 'Engine Warp Core/Authorized personnel Only'. Faye laid her down and tried the door.

    Surprisingly, it was unlocked! She opened the door and entered the room. Ed was kneeling in front of a panel labeled 'Danger! Explosive Bolts! DO NOT TOUCH!!' and she was covered head to foot in grease and grime! Ed was just about to remove the panel. "Leave that alone, Ed! Can't you read? If you pull that off, it'll detonate, Stupid! Now, replace those bolts and get over here!" commanded Faye. Ed froze and then complied by replacing the bolts she had just now removed. Then she crawled over to Faye, who grabbed her by the collar and dragged her outside. She shut the door and asked Ed for the locking codes. "Valhalla. Code 1-Bravo. Kei. One. Verify." replied a sulking cowgirl. Faye keyed the security access panel and added the words 'Cowgirl. Seven' to the codes. Then she grabbed both Yuri and Ed by their collars again, said "Come on Ein!" to the Welsh Corgi who always followed Ed everywhere she went and dragged both of her charges back to the lift.

    "Co-pilot's quarters stat!" she commanded the lift. "Access denied." was the reply. "Shit! I forgot the dam thing wasn't working right!" Faye crossed some more wires and repeated her short circuit trick with the lock pick. Then she repeated her command. The doors slammed shut and reopened almost immediately. Faye dragged Yuri and Ed across to Yuri's suite. Praying that it would work, she hit the 'Open' panel beside the door. The door shot back and she dragged both of them inside. Faye slammed her hand against the 'Open' panel beside Yuri's bedroom door and it flashed open. Faye dragged Yuri inside and dumped her on the bunk. Then she hit 'Close' and the door flashed shut. She took Ed and Ein back to the hall and repeated the process on the outer door.

    "You're a mess Ed! You need a bath!" said Faye, dragging Ed back to the lift, Ein following her. "Guest quarters. Valentine. One." she said. This time the doors shut and they were speedily carried to Faye's room level. The doors opened and Ed was dragged to Faye's 'Orphanarium' suite. Hitting the 'Open' panel she tossed Ed inside and closed the door. She left Ed there while she went to run her bath. When it was ready, she grabbed Ed, removed her tee shirt and underpants and put her into the tub. "Now get a move on, girl!" she said, leaving her in the bathroom and closing the door behind her. Then she trilled Kei on her comlink. ""Hai? Kei here. Oro? You're really sure she didn't F with the warp core at all, Faye? OK. Arigato for that. Where's Yuri now? In her room? Fine. Arigato again. Ja Ne. See you later. I'll be up on the bridge if you need me. Kei out."

    Faye lit a cheroot and sat down as all HELL broke loose in the hallway outside of her suite of rooms! "Oro the F!" she ejaculated, flashing open the hallway door. Faye was ready for anything as she drew her Glock 7, anything, that is, except this! Lying in a heap in the middle of the corridor was the weirdest bunch of bakas she had ever before seen! There were two knights in medieval Terran armor, a tall cloaked red-headed female, a dwarf, a tall dude in a long black cloak, a slightly shorter old guy with a white beard in a white cloak and last (but not least!) an idiot wearing some sort of crown and yelling his fool head off!

    END Chapter 35. Chapter 36 "A Medieval Mixup!" or "Has Anyone Seen Our Castle?" to follow soon. Please r/r and see ya soon-K&K

    To Be Continued in Chapter 36

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    Thumbs up Re: Dirty Pair Fanfiction-Ch 36 (Part 1)

    Here's Ch 36 (Part 1)-K&K

    Chapter 36

    "The Medieval Mixup" or "Has Anyone Seen Our Castle?"

    DISCLAIMER: OK Genie, it's all yours! First, thank you to Mr. T. for the use of the Angels. Thanks to everyone else who is letting us use their creations. How was that, Yuri? Great! Oh yes it was, Kei! Well, we left you up in the air so let's get to Chapter 36 without further preamble:-

    "Falco! Where are we? This does NOT look like 'Stormguard'! Mordor! What have you done, you fool! You have transported us to some other location! Don't just sit there! Grab Ivanhoe, that red-haired bitch of his and the dwarf! Mordor, get the Druid! I command you as your King!" yelled the idiot (who was in fact Prince John Plantagenet, brother of Ruchard the Lion Hearted and Lord Protector of England. He and his merry band were from 13th Century Terra, the Medieval Era!). He continued to rant and rave at them all. "You are NOT our king, John, not yet! And if I have anything to say about it, you never will be! Your brother, Richard is our king!" cried out the shorter of the two knights.

    "My Liege, I know not where we are nor what sort of deviltry is afoot! Perhaps this is a Saxon trick of the Druid!" answered the dude in the black cloak. The taller knight, who was bald, drew his broadsword and attacked the other knight defiantly. His opponent was wielding a broadsword of his own and a dagger. The dwarf was whacking everyone in sight with a hammer, of all things! The redhead had also drawn steel and was aiding thesecond knight by stabbing, punching and kicking the first knight and the loudmouth.

    Faye Valentine had seen quite enough! Raising her Glock 7 to the ceiling, she fired twice, scaring the Hell out of all the combatants who stopped fighting and stared at her! "OK gang, the party's over! Who are you and how did you get on this ship?" she demanded. As an afterthought, she trilled Kei on her comlink while she kept the 'newbies' covered.

    "Hai? Kei here. Oro?"responded kei. "You're never going to believe this one, Kei! King Arthur and his band of merry idiots just showed up in the hall outside my suite! Nai, Ed's still in the bathroom, arigato Kami! Let's see, we've got two knights in Terran medieval armour, a woman, a dwarf and two guys that look like magicians! Oh, hai and a loud-mouthed moron giving everybody orders like he owns the place! Who are they? Just a sec, Kei." trilled Faye.

    "OK, who are you? Or do you want me to use my mighty thunderbox again?" The loudmouth was down on his knees begging for mercy! The shorter (but not much!) of the two knights stepped forward and knelt, Bracing both hands on the hilt of his broadsword. "Dear Lady, I am Sir Ivanhoe of Rotherwood, the 'Chosen One' and the protector of England. This Lady is Rebecca, my trusted friend and companion. The dwarf is Odo, another trusted friend and companion. That is Sir Falco, captain of the royal guard. The taller knight (who was bald) bowed. This is Fingal, the white Druid and master of white magic, our sworn friend. That is Mordour, a dark wizard, a practitioner of black magic and our sworn enemy! Oh and that (he pointed to the cringing crybaby at Faye's feet) is Prince John, Regent of England. His brother Richard of the Lion Heart is the true King of England, however, he has been captured and held for ransom by the King of Austria. Richard is our liege lord, not John! John is an enemy of the people and a tyrant! Pray tell me where we are, Madam?" explained Ivanhoe, rising to his feet and dragging the cowardly dog up with him.

    "LIAR! This man and his accomplices are outlaws! I demand that you arrest them immediately!" yelled the crybaby prince. "Hold it right there! You do NOT give the orders around here, boyo! The Captain does! Until she gets here I'm in charge so shut the Hell up!" said Faye. "What year was it when you left home?" she asked. "The Year of Our Lord 1235, of course! Why?" asked the dark knight Ivanhoe looking perplexed. "Because it is now AD 2250 and this is a starship in deep space far above Terra, your Earth! We are currently somewhere near Mars, the closest planet to your world." answered Faye with a smile. "You heard all of that, Kei? Good. Oro? Oh, they aren't going anywhere. I'll keep them in the living room until you can get here. Faye out." Faye motioned with her Glock 7 automatic. "OK, children. Everyone inside please!" She grabbed John by the shoulder and roughly shoved him into the living room. The rest of them followed. Mordour and Fingal raised their hands as if to do some conjuring up.

    "Forget about all that mumbo-jumbo crap, guys! There's a neutralizing field in and around this ship so your hocus pocus stuff won't work. Now, pile all the weapons on the table over there." ordered the cowgirl. At a nod from Ivanhoe, Rebecca and Odo tossed their arms on the table. Fingal added his staff. At a nod from John, Mordour added his dagger and wand to th heap and Falco threw his sword and dagger as well as John's on top of the pile. Then Ivanhoe added his own arms. "Thank you gentlemen, miss. Please sit down." said Faye. She keyed the lock mechanism and spoke her code to lock it.

    "My name is Faye valentine and you are aboard the 'Lovely Angel 2' starship. Our captain is Kei O'Halloran and she's on her way down here now. I'm a bounty hunter, by the way. Oh, yeah, the door is code locked so you can't open it. That room over there is a bathroom. There's food and drinks in that (fridge). Excuse me for a second, please. I'll be right back. I have a little girl in the bathtub." Faye said, disappearing into the opposite bathroom. She emerged almost immediately with Ed in tow. Ed was wearing a bright green kimono and fuzzy red slippers. "This is Ed, folks." Ed waved to everyone, yawned and collapsed backwards onto Ein whom she used like a pillow. There was a loud banging on the outer door followed by several kicks. "Faye! Open this Kami shimatta door for Christ's sake!" bellowed Kei from the hall. Faye smiled and said "Coming Kei. That's our lovely hostess now." Faye opened the door and Kei stormed inside. "Hi Kei. Meet our visitors." she said, escorting the red-headed captain into the living room.

    "A woman in charge! Unthinkable!" cried John. "Sit down and shutup!" said Kei, who was still attired in her customary red/black miniskirted outfit and low cut red boots. On her right hand (which was holding a Mark XIII ion cannon) was a fingerless black glove. Faye made the introductions. The men bowed, Rebecca curtsied and John remained seated. "We were trying to enter 'Stormguard', a castle which appears only once every hundred years. Suddenly, a ball of light swallowed us up and then we were here, Madam!" explained Ivanhoe.

    "You fell through a hole in a thing called the 'space/time continuum' and now you're all stuck here with us for a fortnight or so until the rift has been resealed. You are all welcome aboard my ship so long as you don't cause us any trouble. Try to start anything like that and I'll toss you in my brig. That's a 'dungeon', I suppose in your lingo. I'm Kei O'Halloran, captain and commander of the 'Lovely Angel 2', a 3WA/UG starship. Suffice it to say that out here in space we ARE the law! Faye can explain all that crap to you later. Right now I have to make arrangements for your living quarters. Please wait here quietly. (in a whisper to Faye- Do you need another guard for them?- Faye shook her head no.) OK, bring them down for chow at 1700. (Faye nodded.) Ja mata guys. Bye bye for now. Oro?" Kei's comlink trilled as did Faye's). "Kome here, guys. We just had an unauthorized landing in the docking bays. Nai, airlocks are still secure. Whoever it is didn't open them to get inside! I sent the two Doctors, Zoe, Leila and Jamie down to investigate. K-9 went with them." trilled Kome. "Good job, Kome. Mar, how long before we land on 'Kagura'? Still 0200 on 30 December, eh? No way to use a wormhole or anything, Mar? OK, stay on course. Kome, send a signal to Garner. We have seven new arrivals up here at Faye's place and however many are in the bays. Better get dinner going. Tell Zoe and Leila to serve dinner at 1700. That way we can get everyone settled in for the night. Oro other rooms can we convert to dorms? Nai, the armouries are out! As are the engine rooms and the computer rooms. I've just had a great idea. After dinner, Legato and Spike Miroku can take 'em all to the holodecks. Then we can figure out the quartering details. Right, hold it. Hai, Zoe? You have got to be kidding! Say that again! An M-16 Terran tank? A big dark-haired dude who looks like a fighter? A tall brunette with a sword and a schoolgirl with a .45 automatic. A talking panda and a oro? A teddy bear that craps out rolls of toilet tissue? And the tank is possessed by the ghost of a dead nekko (cat)? Kome, find out if 'Krylos III' is missing any patients. ('Krylos III' was a planetoid which housed a huge insane asylum hospital) Oro, Zoe? They were lokking for spell fragments which are printed on the bodies of elves so they can return to Japan on Terra. And they're called 'Those who hunt elves', are they? Take them all up to the rec room and turn them over to Don and Anton. About time they did something useful! Kome, is the 'Bebop' foraging party back yet? Another hour? OK, no sweat. The booze should hold out until then. Kei out." Kei picked up the PA mike and keyed it.



    To Be Continued in Ch 36 (Part 2)

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    The Keiman of Anime keimanzero is off to a good start keimanzero's Avatar
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    Here's Ch 36 (Part 2)-K&K

    "Legato! Spike! You there? After dinner, I want you to take everyone to the holodecks. Make sure they all know how to use them, got that? Hai, we have eleven or twelve more newcomers too. You'll handle that? Great. Kei out." She hung up the mike and decided to check on Yuri and the three patients in sick bay before she returned to the bridge. She walked onto the lift and said "Co-pilot's quarters." The lift control replied with "Access denied." Kei trilled Faye. "Oro did you do to my lift controls, Faye? You did oro? OK, I'll try to fix the shimatta thing!" Kei said to lift contol "Control, check for damages to your system stat!" The response was immediately forthcoming. "System is shorted out. Wires ALX to ARD shunted to--" Kei cut it off short. "Belay that and effect repairs at once. Confirm order. Authority- Valhalla- Kei 1- Verify." Control answered "Order confirmed. Initiating repairs to self. Estimated time to complete repairs is three minutes, 35.8 seconds" Kei replied "Roger that. Complete repairs and report when finished." Kei next trilled Kome. "Kome, Kei here. You get an answer yet? 'Krylos III' reports no escapes? Great! That means that they're the real thing! The Doctors have turned the 'elf hunters' over to Don and Anton, eh? OK, I'll swing by the rec room after I check on Yuri and the guys in sick bay. Kei out."

    Kome went back to relaying messages until Marlene trilled her. "Hai, Mar? Yeah, Miss O. sounds like she's running herself ragged! How can she do it? She has such stamina, man! I don't think that she's slept in like at least 72 hours! Oro? We're being scanned by a 'tachion particle beam'? I'll try a hail. Oh, it's OK Mar, Just SOP. 'Kagura' control is scanning us to confirm who we are. They've been advised by Mr. garner to expect us. Hold on and I'll put them on our vidscreens. OK, Mar, they're up. Go ahead and talk to the tower." trilled Kome. A pleasant faced guy's visage appeared on the vidscreens in front of Marlene Angel. He had long blonde hair, deep aoishi aizu and was wearing a grey uniform. "Onegai identify yourselves. This is 'Kagura' Control Tower, Lt. Orloffhere. Do you read me? Over." Marlene picked up her mike and spoke. "This is TC Marlene Angel, Navigator of the 'Lovely Angel 2', a 3WA/UG starship under the command of our captain, Sr. TC Kei O'Halloran. Were you not advised to expect us? Our HQ was to contact you. Over." KCT responded. "Roger, TC Angel. We've been awaiting your arrival. We have you scheduled for touchdown at 0200 on 30 December. Is taht ETA correct?Over." Marlene replied. "Roger, Lt. Orloff, sir. That's an affirmative on our ETA. Over." KCT responded. "Roger, TC Angel. How many in your party? Over." Marlene hesitated before replying to him. "We have 67, I say again, 6, 7 in our party. Over." Orloff's eyebrows raised a fraction. "Roger, TC Angel. 67 is confirmed. We have you on course at bearing 670 NNE traveling at a speed of Warp 7.6. Onegai confirm this bearing and speed. Over." Marlene replied to him. "Roger, Lt. Orloff, sir. Bearing 670 NNE at Warp 6.7 is confirmed. Over. Orloff replied. "Roger, TC Angel. Bearing and speed confirmed. See you in san (three) yobi (days).Orloff out."

    Marlene tossed down her mike and stretched. Then she hit 'George' and trilled Kome. "Hey Kome, want some coffee? I'll get it if you'll cover for me for a bit. We're on 'George' so it'll be OK. You will? Great! How do you take it? OK, black it is. Be right back." Marlene slipped out the back doors of the bridge and padded down the back hallway to the galley/break room. She pressed the control on the replicator and spoke. "Two coffees. One, black. One, regular." Two cups of steaming liquid materialized out of nowhere. She placed them on a tray and added two spoons. "Two pastries, danish. One, apple. One, blueberry." was her next request and the items magically appeared on two separate plates which she added to her tray along with two forks and two napkins. Then marlene padded back to her station where she placed her coffee and Danish on the console. Then she went next door and placed Kome's tray on the console in front of her. "Arigato, Mar. No problems. Why don't you take a break while I keep an eye on things up here?" offered a grinning Kome. Marlene smiled back gratefully. "OK, I think I will, Kome. I could do with a breather and a nap. Domo arigato." she said, returning to her own station. "Don't mention it, Mar. I'll trill if I need you. Have a nice rest and I'll call you for dinner at 1645, OK?" called Kome. "Fine, Kome." replied Marlene. "Computer, onegai have this coffee and Danish taken to my room in the Captain's quarters. Arigato."said marlene, leaving the bridge and entering the lift. "Captain's quarters, onegai." she ordered. Luckily the lift had just finished its repairs and speedily carried her to Level 3.

    "Valhalla. Marlene, three." she said into the security access mike next to the door of the suite she shared with Kei. The door shot open and she entered, closing it behind her. Her bedroom door opened automatically when she hit the 'open' panel beside it. She went in and the door shut behind her. Marlene quickly removed her uniform, boots, socks and undergarments. She pulled out a kawaii yellow kimono with pink and white sakura (cherry blossoms) emblazoned on it, carried it to the bathroom with her and hung it on the door. She stepped into the shower and said "Warm water, onegai.." to shower control. The shower activated and she said "Warmer, warmer, warmer. OK, hold it at that temperature and pulsate, onegai." Intermitenet blasts of water began to strike her back. Luxuriating in the warm water, she started to doze off. She forced herself awake and said "Water off." The shower stopped and she left the stall and stood in the drying alcove. "Drying units on, onegai. Hold at 25 Kelvin." she said. When she felt dry enough, she said "Drying units off. Arigato." Then she donned the kimono and walked barefoot back to her bedroom for a short nap. 'CC' had faithfully transported her snack to her room and set it on the bedside table. Marlene munched her Danish and sipped her coffee slowly. She placed the empty cup next to the empty dish and silverware on her bedside table, knowing that 'CC' would automatically remove them and recycle them back into the replicating systems. Marlene laid down and was soon asleep. She awakened to a trilling from her comlink. "Mar! Get up here quick! Three more just showed up. A tall guy in white with white hair, a kid and a toad with a stick! The big guy is called Sesshomaru and claims he's Inu Yasha's brother! The kid's name is Rin and the toad's is Jaken. Sorry to wake you but Kei's not answering my trills!" Kome sounded scared!

    "OK, be there as soon as I can, Kome." trilled Marlene, hopping out of bed, shucking off the kimono and pulling on undergarments. Then she yanked on her "Patriots'" #12 'Brady' jersey, a pair of grey 3WA sweatpants, socks and sneakers. She stuck a mark XII blaster into her waistband and dashed to the lift.

    Kei had not answered Kome's trillings for good reason! After checking on Yuri (who was sleeping peacefully), she had gone on to sick bay where she had found Louie and Merrill sound asleep. However, Genie was wide awake. When Kei had bent over her to check her pulse, Genie had belted the redheaded hellcat and taken her ion cannon from Kei's holster! Then Genie had dashed out of sick bay, leaving an unconscious Kei on the floor!

    END of Chapter 36. Chapter 37 "More Demons and Another Gallifreyan Come to Call" or "Never Disturb a Sleeping Angel!" to follow soon. Please r/r. See ya soon.-K&K

    To Be Continued in Ch 37

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    Here's Ch 37 (Part 1)-K&K

    Chapter37

    "More Demons Come to Call" or "A Youkai Family Reunion"

    DISCLAIMER: OKJohn, it's all yours! First, thank you to Mr. T. for the use of the Angels. Thanks to everyone else who is letting us use their creations. How was that, Yuri? Great! Oh yes it was, Kei! Well, we left you up in the air so let's get to Chapter 37 without further preamble:-

    Marlene finally reached the bridge. Some tall baka with long white hair and clad almost entirely in white was holding (of all things!) a katana-like sword to Kome's throat! Marlene sidled back up the corridor to a PA mike station. She keyed the mike and said "Captain's quarters". Receiving no answer she tried the co-pilots's quarters. No answer there either! In desperation, she tried sick bay. Marlene heard a tiny groan and whispered urgently "Anyone there? Onegai pick up! We've got big trouble on the bridge! Anyone there? Anyone at all? Shit! Now oro do I do?" She was just about to hang up when she heard a faint voice. "Oro? Oh my head! What'd ya want anyway! OW! Crap! Where the F is that broad? (Kei finally managed to grab the mike) Kei here. Gomen about that but I just came to! Genie hit me and SHIT! She's got a gun too! Mine! That bitch! Wait'll I get my hands on her! Hey, Mar, is that you? Oro is going on anyway? Oro? Inu Yasha's brother, his kid and a toad thing on the bridge? And he's doing ORO to Kome? Mar, this is an open line. Trill me right back on your comlink." said Kei. Marlene trilled Kei back. "Oro's the plan, Kei? OK, hai, we can get into my nav room through the break room. OK, you'll go in that way while I use the main entrance to the bridge. Trill me twice when you're in position. When I say 'now' we'll both rush in on him. Marlene out."

    Kei dashed back to her own quarters and grabbed a spare cannon and an extra power pack for it. Then she ran to the gantryway and tore up the stairs to the command deck. She hurried into the break room and through the connecting door to the nav room. She swiftly crossed the room to the bridge door and placed her left hand on the knob. Her right gripped the ion cannon, her finger cold on the trigger. Kei trilled Marlene twice by pressing her comlink earring against the bulkhead wall twice. Marlene reached the main entryway and trilled Kei. "Now!" she whispered, kicking the door open and levelling her ion cannon at Sesshomaru. "Drop the blade, pal!" she ordered quietly. The tall guy smiled and turned to allow Marlene to see the blade at Kome's throat. "And if I do not drop it, oro will you do then?" he laughed. The opposite door crashed open and Kei said "She won't have to do anything because you'll have to answer to me, you son of a bitch! Now drop the shimatta thing!" she yelled. Sesshomaru pressed the blade closer, drawing a thin trickle of blood and causing Kome to whimper slightly.

    Kei fired, blasting a sizzling path through Sesshomaru's right arm! He winced, giving Marlene the precious seconds she needed to leap forward, chop her cannon across Sesshomaru's right shoulder and grab the sword away from him. She dropped it almost as soon as she had it. "Shit! That thing burns!" She kicked it over to Kei who blasted it. Amazingly, it resisted an ion beam! "You cannot touch 'Tokijin' unless you possess some demon blood and you cannot harm it with energy! You're pathetic creatures! Even my worthless brother can hold the shimatta thing and he's only a halfling! I am gomen (sorry) if it burnt your hands, Miss Angel.. " he said with a bow to Marlene. Rin (the young child) curtsied and jaken (the toad youkai) bobbed his head at her. "How on Terra did you know my name?" asked Marlene. Sesshomaru pointed to the flight report binder marked 'M. Angel' on the console next to the other binder marked 'K. Sawaguchi'. "I cannot read minds although I can track by scent. However, in this case it was not too difficult to learn your names." he said to Marlene. Kei gestured with her cannon. "Lose the other sword or you'll have matching ion blasted arms!" she commanded menacingly. Sesshomaru obliged her. "Take it. All it's good for is restoring life. 'Tenseiga' is no use to me!" he replied, grinning.

    "Never fear, my lord, I shall smite them with my mighty staff of power!" Jaken aimed his staff at Kei and nothing happened! "Milord, I do not understand this!" he said. Kei chuckled. "Your mumbo-jumbo won't work on my ship, you baka! We have a neutralizing field in place and it deadens all of your magic crap. Now, oro the jigoku are you three doing on the 'Angel'?" demanded the fiery green-aizued redhead.

    "We followed my brother through some glowing doorway and ended up here. Gomen! Whre are my manners, Miss? I am called Sesshomaru and Inu Yasha is my brother whom I believe you already know. The child is my young ward, Rin. My servant is Jaken, a toad youkai, that is, a full demon. My apologies to Miss Sawaguchi but my temper overpowered me momentarily." He bowed again. Marlene had wrapped a bandage around Kome's throat after applying an antiseptic to the small wound. She pressed a hidden pressure point on Kome's shoulder and the bleeding had ceased. "She'll be fine, Kei. I stopped the bleeding and bandaged the wound." said Marlene.



    To Be Continued in Ch 37 (Part 2)

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    Here's Ch 37 (Part 2)-K&K


    "Arigato Kami for that! You can thank your lucky stars that Kome was not hurt too seriously, my tomo. Had she been, I'd have surely killed you!" said Kei quietly. "I give you my word of honour, Miss Kei that I did not intend to harm anyone." responded the youkai. "Will you give me your solemn oath not to cause us any more trouble if I agree not to toss you into my brig?" asked the captain. "Hai, I give you my word, Miss Kei." replied Sesshomaru. Kei smiled at him. "Just Kei, onegai. You can bunk in with your brother, Kouga, Shippou and Miroku and Rin can bunk in with myself and Marlene. I suppose that (she pointed to Jaken) can stay with you guys too." said Kei. "I thank you, my Lady, but might I ask you a question?" put in Jaken. Kei nodded. "Where exactly have we come to and oro is this cave that we seem to be in?" he asked.

    "You are aboard a starship travelling through deep space. We are a few days away from Mars on our way to a planet in the Orion Nebulae. It is called 'Kagura'. This is the year AD 2250 and this 'cave' as you call it is actually a state of the arts twin nacelle, thruster driven starship. She is called the 'Lovely Angel 2' and I am both her captain and commander. We are also oro passes for the law in these parts. I am a tro-con or trouble consultant for the 'World Welfare Work Association', the 3WA, a peacekeeping force under the authority and control of 'United Galactica', a federation of several galaxies which includes your own. My name is Kei O'Halloran and my co-pilot/exec officer is Yuri Donovan. Marlene Angel is our navigator/assistant pilot and she is also my TC trainee. Kome Sawaguchi is our communications and docking officer. She is also Yuri's TC trainee. There is a rift or hole in the space/time continuum and until it has been repaired in a couple of weeks, we are all stuck here together, all 70 of us! Mar, are we on 'George' (autopilot)? (Marlene nodded.) Then take our guests down to the rec room. Their pals are probably at the bar. I wonder how Yuri's doing?" said Kei. Marlene, who was shepherding the trio towards the lift, glanced back at Kei. "She got decked by Merrill but she should be OK although she'll have one jigoku of a mouse on her aizu!" she answered. Kei thought a moment.

    "Yuri will have to wait for now. We've got Genie running amok with a mark XIII. I've got to find her stat!" She picked up the PA mike and keyed it to 'general'. That meant she would be broadcasting to veryone on the 'Angel'. "Attention! This is the captain! We have an emergency! Genie, the tall red-headed swordswoman, is running around this ship with an ion cannon! For those of you that don't know oro that is, it's a blaster capable of blowing a hole in the ship's hull roughly big enough to drive a Terran tank through! I'm pretty sure she does not know just how powerful the shimatta thing is! If you spot her onegai report it immediately. I think she's headed for the rec room. I'm shutting down the turbolifts. This order is top priority! Find her!" Kei tossed down the mike. "Keep your aizu open for her, Mar. Kome, get Mugghi and Nammo to help you on this one. I want the ship scanned stat! We have got to find her but quick!" Kei dashed for the lift control center. Tearing open the control box, she cut the power. Then she spoke into the control mike to 'CC'. "Shut down power to all lifts now! Priority order. Authorization is Valhalla. Kei 1. Authentication is Verify. Code Angel 1. Confirm." she commanded. "Order confirmed. Shut down now in progress, Kei." replied 'CC'. Then she ran to the closest gantryway and raced all the way down to the rec room. Her comlink trilled. "Hai? Oro? All upper levels and docking bays are clear, Kome? Then she's got to be on this level or the engine room's level. Continue your sweep. Kei out." Kei had another thought. "Seal off all the armouries now, Kome." she trilled.

    Kei was at the door to the rec room. She hit the 'open' panel and threw herself through the opening sideways. "Any news?" she asked Leila, who was facing her holding a plasma rifle. She shook her head. The two Doctors hurried over to them. "Hi Docs. Can she get into either of the TARDISes?" asked Kei. "Nai, Kei. Both crafts are sealed. We did that when you raised the alarm." said Doctor 4 grimly. "Where did this young woman get a gun from anyway? Your security is quite lax, young lady. In my opinion--" lectured Doctor 2. "Later, Doc. OK, it's mine! She decked me and grabbed it. Now help me to find her or shut up, shimatta!" yelled Kei. Suddenly her comlink trilled. "Hai? Kei here." she trilled back. "Ed knows where the Genie person is. She's where Ed and Ein sleep." trilled the teenaged cowgirl. "Where is she, Ed?" trilled Kei. "Kei lady will be mad at Ed. Ed not supposed to go there so Ed can't tell." trilled Ed. marlene, who had been listening in on her own comlink, trilled in. "Ed, Kei lady won't get mad at Ed. We promise. Onegai tell us where Genie person is." trilled Marlene. "Nai, Ed can't tell!" trilled Ed once more. "Ed, you wanted us to show you and Ein the bridge, didn't you? If Auntie Marlene gets Kei lady to let you and Ein on the bridge, you'll tell me where Genie person is, won't you?" cajoled Marlene. "OK, Ed show Auntie Marlene." trilled Ed finally. "Where's Ed now?" trilled Marlene.

    "In room with Faye Faye, metal guys, scary man, old Santy Claus, nice lady, scaredy cat guy and funny little man." trilled Ed. Marlene looked as puzzled as she felt. "She's in Faye's suite on Level san (3) probably. Faye has the Ivanhoe gang in with her and the kids." supplied Kei, already running to the nearest gantryway ramp. "Come on, Mar! She likes you, not me!" Kei led the way with Marlene, Sesshomaru, Jaken and Rin bringing up the rear. A few flights later and they had all reached Faye's suite of rooms. Kei pounded on the door. "Open up, Faye! It's me!" she bellowed. As soon as Faye opened the door, Kei, Marlene and the rest of their entourage burst in. Kei spotted Ed on the floor, grabbed her by the back of her obi (sash or belt of a kimono) and carried the kid outside, setting Ed down on her bare feet. Marlene knelt down next to Ed.

    "OK, Ed. Take Auntie Marlene to Genie person, onegai." Taking hold of Marlene's hand, Ed ran down the hallway, turned right, ran down another hallway, up a ramp, over a catwalk, down some steps and halted at a hatch marked 'Engine Room 8-A-Authorized Personnel Only'. Deftly, Ed keyed the door's coded security pad. Then she said in a clear voice "Authorization, Valhalla. Code, Yuri 2. Activate override. Authority, Kei 1. Authorization code is Verify, Angel 1. Activate." Ed spun the wheel of the hatch and pulled it open. It opened onto a revolving treadmill not unlike the drum of a clothes dryer. Stretched out on the floor prone on her tummy was Genie! Apparently the big redhead had tripped and knocked herself out cold. Her outflung right fist still gripped Kei's Mark XIII.

    Pushing her way past Ed and Marlene, Kei stepped across the inert form on the treadmill and recovered her weapon. Then she deftly handcuffed Genie and dragged heroff the treadmill and back into the hallway. Tossing the cuff keys to Marlene, she said "Get King Arthur and his merry men to help you, Mar. Take Ed, Rin and the toad and leave them with Faye. Then take Sess and the knights along with you and drop off Genie at her room. She's in the library on Level go (five). When you get there, you can unlock her cuffs. Lock her in and recode the door's access codes. Then send everyone else down to the dining hall. I'm on my way to Yuri's place now. Meet me there. Go! That's an order." Kei stepped onto the lift and opened the access panel. She flipped the power switch to 'on', then she used her codes on the voice system to reactivate all of the other lifts. That finished, she spoke to 'CC' again. "Co-pilot's quarters stat." Instantly she was carried to Level three. Using her override commands, she opened the outer door of Yuri's suite. Banging on Yuri's bedroom door having elicited no response, Kei kicked it open! Since Faye had left Yuri, she had apparently bathed and changed into pajamas and a red kimono. Her clothes were strewn all over the place. "No doubt about it! Yuri's a slob!" thought Kei with a grin. Running a tricorder over Yuri's body to scan for injuries, Kei was relieved to see that she seemed to be OK, just asleep.

    Yuri's right aizu, however, was puffed up and turning color. "One jigoku of a mouse is right, Marlene!" thought Kei. Satisfied that Yuri was fine otherwise, Kei left a short note on Yuri's PDO pad telling her exec to take it easy and that she'd have a dinner platter sent up. She covered Yuri with a down comforter and set the PDO pad on the bedside table where Yuri would be sure to notice it. Kei tiptoed out of the room, closing the door behind her. She let herself out of the suite, locking the outer door again. Then she went to her own quarters where she took a quick shower and dressed in sweats, socks and sneakers. She added her shoulder holster rig and newly recovered Mark XIII. Then she slung a black/gold 'New Orleans Saints' NFL jacket across her shoulders. She went down to dinner and what turned out to be a very long evening.

    END of Chapter 37.

    Please r/r and have a great holiday season. Meri Kurisumasu tomos!--K&K

    Chapter 38- "An Interruption at Dinner" or "A Gallifreyan Pays A Call" will follow soon. Domo arigato for all your continued support-K&K

    To Be Continued in Ch 38

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