Thread: Dirty Pair Fanfiction

Here's Ch 92-Part 2-K&K

"Knock off the crap, Katherine! We've scrapped those new 'SS' inspired uniforms so you can stay in whatever you're wearing underneath that tunic blazer. This is serious, Angel! Two or three of the prisoners at 'Seto Kaiba's' 3WA penal block have up and vanished into thin air! Dr. Q is ecstatic. He says this proves that he can fire up the 'Varrins' now. We've since confirmed that those prisoners are back on their homeworlds. Given the situation, we have jointly agreed to drop all charges against all criminals except for the Terrans like Warp and Slade. "Black Ghost' and Johnny Berringer stay too. If you get Khan, we'll add him to the batch and release his crews. Tell Emma, Arkton, Ellen and Legato that they and the 'Queen's' crew will all receive a full pardon and the thanks of the 'UG', 'GC', 3WA, 'Starfleet' and the 'ISSP'. In addition, Legato and Arkton have been accepted by the 3WA Academy. Your two TC Trainees (Kome and Marlene) are hereby promoted to 'ensign'. Yuri is promoted to the rank of Lt Commander/Acting Commodore. The chiefs (Don and Anton) have been promoted to Commodore. For the moment, you have been promoted to Commodore JG (Junior Grade) but there is a rumor that you will soon be a Sub-Unit Chief as well as a Vice Admiral, my dear. We are all quite proud of you and your cadre. Now as to your otherquestion-we cannot issue a full pardon to Captain Solo per your request. We cannot because not only has Captain Solo never violated any of our 'UG' or 3WA laws (he shot at you in error you'll recall), he was a hero of the 'Old Republic rebellion' at 'Alderaan' as well as the 'Clone Wars'. I know him quite well, Katie and unfortunately for you, he is already engaged to Princess Leia Organa, the 'UG' senatorial ambassador of both 'Alderaan' and 'Yokov'. OK, I hope your temper has improved somewhat, Katie, because we have to drop a bombshell on you! (Kei immediately began to fume inwardly! Imagine! Engaged to a senator no less and yet he 'conveniently' forgets to mention it! That rotten, no good, dirty, lowdown, lousy, good for nothing-- Kei finally came back to the matter at hand when Gooley yelled at her a few times!) Katie! Are you listening to me?" he roared.

"Hai sir, I heard you. You said something about we were probably gonna get stuck with the 'Mooney' kids! Dr Q! Are you still there?" she demanded hotly. "Hai, Kei. I am still here and I must apologize for the inconvenience, my dear." he said. "Inconvenience! You call getting stuck with five kids from the Terra of 300 years ago a Kami shimatta inconvenience! It's more like a bloody Fxxxing nightmare! Oro did you screw up this time?" yelled the redhead. "It's not my fault, Kei! Ka-Mi! Now I sound like you! Calm down. I do have a solution. After the Doctors return their passengers to their respective times and spaces, one or both of them will return to AD 2251 Furool City and ferry Miss Serena and her four tomos back to 20th Century Terra. However, you'll have to keep the kids on the 'Angel' in the meantime." explained the 3WA scientist.

"Why can't somebody else be saddled with 'em instead? Anyway, ain't we comin' home as soon as you fix that blasted 'Kronos Project' you're working on?" asked Kei. "First, we don't want to run the risk of moving them to an unstable planetary environment like 'Shimougou'. Remember, my dear, 'Shimougou's' atmosphere is richer and rarer than Terra's. Now as to where exactly your fleet will be going. Well---" Dr. Cueball trailed off and Gooley came to his rescue. "Khan must be transported to 'Alderaan' with all possible speed and we need the best personnel we have to watch over him. That's where you come in. In just 12 more hours, the 'Varrins' (the 'Kronos' generator) will be online. At that time, some, most or indeed, maybe even all of your passengers will start to disappear from your vessels and rematerialize at their own places and in their own times. By the way, Katie, have you guys apprehended Khan yet? Well?" asked Andre Francis Gooley.

"Nai, there's been no word from Emma on 'Halcyon' as of yet, sir. The 'Queen' and her two shuttles, the 'Sol' and the 'Starcusher' are all in position to grab him just as soon as he jumps out of hyperspace. We'll keep you posted, sir." replied Kei. "Fine, katie. Incidentally, just where the Hell is your bridge crew? All I can see is Mugghi and Nammo there with you. Katie?" he asked. Gooley was the only person who dared to use that name for Kei! Lee Chan had tried it out on her as a joke six months ago and had gotten his hair singed by Yuri's lasersword wielded by Kei! "Onegai don't call me that again, sir. As to your question- they've all got this afternoon off. Conan and the girls are on the holodeck beach program and I imagine that Miroku has a 'sneak peek' attack planned too. They needed some R&R, sir and in light of these latest developments, I'm glad that I gave them my permission because it sure looks like we ain't gonna be having any 'fun in the sun' for a long while now! 'Alderaan' is at least another two weeks' voyage from here. But sirs, you want us to transport a dangerous character like Khan all the way across the better part of three galaxies with kids on board? Will it be safe for them? No offense to any of our guests, sirs, but none of them are really fighters now, are they?" observed the hotheaded tro-con.

"Nai, Kat-- er Kei which is why 'Starfleet' has dispatched the 'USS Coriander' to accompany your flotilla to 'Alderaan'. Oh, before I forget- please tell Mr Solo and Mr Black not to be concerned about their ships. Both the 'Bebop' and the 'Millenium Falcon' have been 'tractored' (towed) to our outpost at 'Seto Kaiba' where they can reclaim them at their convenience after the mission has been completed. Well, those are your orders, Vice Admiral. Any questions?" asked Gooley.

"We'll need supplies first and we need to break out of this 'time loop' thing before we can do any of that stuff, sir." replied Kei. "We'll alert the 'Kaguran' authorities to have your supplies ready for pickup. Just vidfax us a list of your needs and we'll relay it to 'Kagura'. Gomen Kei, but I have to ask- How big is your casualty count? Oro I mean is 'who's in sick bay at the moment'?" asked Garner.

"Nobody's in sick bay, Charlie! One 'walking wounded', though. Princess Aelita from the virtual world of 'Lyoko' broke her tibia (leg bone) when she transported aboard from AD 2004 Terra with her tomos. One of 'em- Odd- landed on her leg- hard- during the rematerialization. Jeremy and Ulrich dropped on top of Odd and their added weight snapped her leg. We already had their classmaate, Yumi, onboard. She'd been zapped onto the 'Starcrusher' while Berringer was still in possession of it. Aelita'll be OK in another day or so. Wounds heal quickly in the 'Antares' system for some strange reason. Sango recovered within a week when she broke her leg on 'Kagura'. Actually the big hanyou (Inu Yasha) broke it for her during our football game. On to other news now. Mr Solo has apparently recovered enough to command the 'Starcrusher' and we gave him Zoe as a navigator. Jett's downstairs playing 'Duel Monsters' with Charlie Gunn and he's teaching 'Shogi' (an ancient form of Terran Japanese chess) to anyone who wants to learn it. (Then Gooley's closing words to Kei finally sunk in!) Vice Admiral? Did Andre really say Vice Admiral? Me? I don't understand, Charlie." replied a flabbergasted 3WA commander.

"It's still 'Mister' Gooley and 'Mister' Garner, Kei! However, to answer your question- hai, your promotion just came through 'CC' here at HQ so it is now official. You have just become the very youngest Vice Admiral in the entire history of the 3WA and the 'UG'! Hell, you're probably even younger than the ones in 'GC', 'Starfleet' and the 'ISSP'! And another thing, Keiterran! I do not want to hear of your pushing the speed limit of Warp ten up to Warp twelve and beyond any more! Those speed parameters are in place for a reason, dammit! I know that you had Mugghi and Nammo remove the 'governors' from the warp drive so you could go rocketing all over the galaxy! That means we won't expect to see you at 'Alderaan' for at least three more weeks! Well, that's just about all that we have to tell you, Kei. Be sure you advise us when you have Khan under lock and key, won't you? The 'Coriander' will place a skeleton crew on the 'Botany Bay' and one of their shuttles will escort the 'Bay' and its crew (minus Khan of course!) to our base on 'Seto Kaiba'. The 'Coriander' will escort the 'Angel' and whatever ships are left to 'Alderaan' where Khan will be turned over to 'Starfleet Command' to stand trial. Now you can take off that shimatta blazer tunic thing. You must be suffocating in it." said Garner. "You, er, ARE wearing something underneath it, aren't you, Kei?" demanded Gooley anxiously. "Hai, sir. My sweats. (She lost no time in complying with the TSC's orders.) Anything else, sirs?" she asked.

Cont in Ch 92-Part 3

Here's Ch 92-Part 3-K&K

"It's still 'Mister' Gooley and 'Mister' Garner, Kei! However, to answer your question- hai, your promotion just came through 'CC' here at HQ so it is now official. You have just become the very youngest Vice Admiral in the entire history of the 3WA and the 'UG'! Hell, you're probably even younger than the ones in 'GC', 'Starfleet' and the 'ISSP'! And another thing, Keiterran! I do not want to hear of your pushing the speed limit of Warp ten up to Warp twelve and beyond any more! Those speed parameters are in place for a reason, dammit! I know that you had Mugghi and Nammo remove the 'governors' from the warp drive so you could go rocketing all over the galaxy! That means we won't expect to see you at 'Alderaan' for at least three more weeks! Well, that's just about all that we have to tell you, Kei. Be sure you advise us when you have Khan under lock and key, won't you? The 'Coriander' will place a skeleton crew on the 'Botany Bay' and one of their shuttles will escort the 'Bay' and its crew (minus Khan of course!) to our base on 'Seto Kaiba'. The 'Coriander' will escort the 'Angel' and whatever ships are left to 'Alderaan' where Khan will be turned over to 'Starfleet Command' to stand trial. Now you can take off that shimatta blazer tunic thing. You must be suffocating in it." said Garner. "You, er, ARE wearing something underneath it, aren't you, Kei?" demanded Gooley anxiously. "Hai, sir. My sweats. (She lost no time in complying with the TSC's orders.) Anything else, sirs?" she asked.

Meanwhile Kome had remembered that she'd forgotten to turn off the coffee maker in the galley up on the command deck so she excused herself from the holodeck group and left the holodeck. She raced up the gantryway ramps to Level nine. Panting and breathless, she flipped off the appliance and then decided to grab a quick shower before she headed back downstairs again. Kome slipped out of her bikini top and bottom, kicked off her sandals and showered in one of the rear bathrooms on nine. While using the drying alcove, she realized she'd nothing to put back on except the wet mizugi itself! So she decided to get her spare one from the nav room. Wrapping herself in a bathtowel, she draped her wet suit over the drying bars and slipped into her sandals. Figuring that Kei would be the only one left on the bridge (and probably half asleep!), Kome padded down the hallway to the bridge's rear entrance. She slipped onto the bridge and sidled behind the redhead (who was dozing off) and towards the nav room's door when suddenly a voice roared out and startled the strawberry blonde! "Miss Sawaguchi! Oro the Hell are you doing on the bridge in a towel?" yelled TSC Garner angrily.

"Look Chief, I just told you! They're all down on the holodecks! Oro?" cried Kei as Kome's shadow fell across the redhead's line of vision and Kei spun around fast. "Kome?" she yelled and reached behind herself to blank the vidscreen. "Sorry sir, comlink's video feed must be offline. Just a minute while I check it." said the newly promoted vice admiral. Garner's face, purple with anger, disappeared from the screens.

"Thanks a lot, Kome! Now Charlie and Andre think I'm running a shimatta sorority house up here! Oro the Fxxx are you doing running around like that? I thought you guys were all down on the holodecks!" Kei's green aizu flashed daggers at her newly promoted ensign!

END of Chapter 92. Chapter 93 'Games and Duels' or 'Cornering Khan' soon. Onegai r/r/s away. Kami bless and go Sweetnorthernsait in Saturday's Preakness at Pimlico!-K&K

Cont in Ch 93-Part 1

Here's Ch 93-Part 1-K&K

DISCLAIMER: OK Ulrich, it's all yours! First, thank you to Mr. T. for the use of the Angels. Thanks to everyone else who is letting us use their creations. How was that, Yuri? Great! Oh yes it was, Kei! Well, we left you up in the air so let's get to Chapter 93without further preamble:-

Chapter 93

'Games and Duels' or 'Cornering Khan'

"I left the shimatta coffeeemaker on back there and came up to shut it off. Then I took a shower only I forgot to bring an extra suit so I came in here to get my spare bikini from the nav room. How the Fxxx was I supposed to know you were in here yakkin' to Garner? Sorry but if you'll onegai excuse me I'll get changed and get back to work." said Kome, pushing open the nav room's door. She slipped through and opened the cabinet where she kept her spare outfits. She had fished out some socks and underthings and was just yanking out one of her 3WA pink jumpsuits when the door reopened and her superior entered the room.

"Sorry I yelled at you, kid. Don't worry, I'll square it with Charlie. He knows we're all going 'stir crazy' up here! Put your swimsuit on and get back down to the others. It's chilly in the halls so you'd better toss something on over that bikini, kid." said Kei. "Shit! I don't have anything up here to put on over my suit, Boss!" replied Kome. "Here. Use mine." Kei tossed her green kimono with the red dragon motif on its back to Kome. "Now hurry up. They're probably wondering oro happened to you." she added, leaving the room and closing the door behind her. A few minutes later the door opened again and Kome bounced out.

"Thanks, Cap. See ya later." she said, her hand on the door controls. "Don't mention it, kid. By the way, have you seen the 'Mad Monk' yet?" asked Kei offhandedly and then realized what she'd just said! Kei clapped a hand to her mouth. "Whoops! Me and my big mouth!" she added. "So that's oro's the pervert's been doing, huh! Wait'll I get my hands on that baka creep!" Kome was furious. "Now take it easy, kiddo. Is that any way for an 'ensign' to act?" said Kei soothingly. "I'll get that dirty, no good, womanizing lech-- Did you say 'ensign', Cap?" she asked.

"Hai, Kome. You and Mar are now ensigns. Yuri's a Lt Commander/Acting Commodore. The two chiefs are Full Commodores and I'm a Vice Admiral. Congratulations, kid. That's the good new." said Kei. "And oro's the bad news, ma'am?" asked Kome. "For Kami's sake, Kome. I'm still Kei! Knock off that 'ma'am' crap! I'll give you the bad news the same time I tell the rest of our group. Now scoot!" Kome drew herself up, snapped to attention and saluted smartly. "Yes, sir!" she yelled. "Get the Hell out of here! Have fun and that's an order!" laughed Kei.

After Kome had gone, Kei made a wry face and reached for the vidscreen's activation key. She punched it and got the shock of her life! The 'G Twins' were still there along with Dr Q, the representatives from the 3WA, the 'ISSP', the 'UG', the 'GC' and 'Starfleet Command' sitting all around them. They were all rollicking about and laughing themselves silly! "Sirs! I take full responsibility for Miss Sawaguchi and I apologize for that--" began Kei. "We should all be thanking Kome instead of yelling at her, Kei! That was just oro we needed to break up the tension around here! She really is something else, man!" said Garner, shaking with mirth.

"Especially when her towel fell off! O'Halloran blanked the screens and trotted out that old chestnut about the comlink's vidfeed being offline before we really saw anything but we can imagine- even at our ages! By the way Kei- congratulations on your promotion. You are our youngest vice admiral to date or so I understand." The speaker was none other than '3WA Intergalactic Commander-in-Chief' Grand Admiral Vittorio Galadriel himself! It took a whole Hell of a lot just to get a grin out of the feisty old grand admiral and here he was bellowing with laughter like a schoolboy! Whoa! Hold the comlink here! Did he just say that Kome's 'towel' had fallen off? So they all thought that she'd blanked the vidscreens just to protect Kome's modesty? If they only knew! Kome and Kei were as alike as two peas in a pod when it came to modesty! They could both care less who saw them in what! Even 'au natural' didn't phase that duo- not in the slighest! Unlike Yuri Donovan (and the other one too for that matter! Keisie was like her counterpart!) who would have had a catfit as well as a conniption if any member of the opposite sex saw her sans makeup even let alone in any state of undress! Snapping out of her reverie, Kei said "Arigato, sir. Now if there's nothing else you need me for, I really have to get back to work. I'll call you tonight after dinner so ja mata, sirs. Kei out." She quickly blanked the vidscreens, mused for a moment and then said aloud "Oh, the jigoku with it all! Screw it- I'm going to the holodecks too! Mugghi, you've got the comm. I'll be back after dinner tonight. TTFN (Ta ta for now), Furball." The newest vice admiral arose, ran to the rear lift and rode it down to her quarters. Rummaging through her chiffoniere, bureaus and wardrobes, Kei finally unearthed her old red/black bikini mizugi (swimsuit), sandals, shades, sunblock and a dark aoishi beach kimono. She peeled off her sweats, kicked off her sneakers, shed her socks and speedily slipped into her swimwear, sandals and shades. She threw the sunblock and a few other necessities into her backpack, pulled on the kimono and slipped a Mark V into her pocket. Kei started down the hallway towards the lift when--

"Konnichi wa, mistress. Where are you going?" asked a voice from behind her. "To the beach, K-9. C'mon, you can come too." Kei scooped up the mechanical data dog/robot and ran the rest of the way to the lift. On Level eight, she padded over to the holodeck programming area where she called for the 'arch' and entered carrying K-9. The transformation was quite magnificent as well as instantaneous! She and K-9 could have been on the sands of the seashore at 'Casini'! All the frolicing came to a halt and everyone stared at her!

Kei? Our Kei actually taking time out for some fun? Unheard of, that it surely was! That was how Kenshin Himura would have put it anyway. She'd just put down K-9 when-- "Would you do me the honour of bearing my children, lovely lady? Oro is your name, fair damsel?" Kei felt a hand on her derriere!

"Miroku! I thought you'd be around here somewhere! You lech--" Kei spun around fast and cracked the flat of her hand across the cheek of- Brock J Harrison! "Use your own lines, Pokemon Man! Don't steal mine!" yelled a familiar voice which was soon followed by a certain monk. "You crazy baka weirdos! You just blew it for the rest of us! Oh- hi, Kagome. Fancy meetin' you here!" said everyone's favorite inu hanyou. "Osawaru (Sit) boy!" yelled kagome, trying to hold her bikini top across her bare bosom! She and Sango had been doing some topless sunbathing. Kei took one more look, her aizu flared and she bellowed "OK, guys! Peep show's over! C'mon out!" The huge hanyou was already lying face down on the ground. Richard Moore stumbled over him and passed out! Legato came next then Sess, Kouga, Ivanhoe, Nick, 'Cowboy' Spike, Donnatella, Ash, james and finally- Shippou!

Kome marched straight up to Miroku, balled her hand into a fist and-- "I sure as hell hope that you guys think that almost seeing us in our birthday suits was worth oro I'm gonna do to you, you lecherous perverts!" she yelled. She swung at the monk and-- "Leave them alone, Kome! You've got no room to talk after giving the 'G Twins' and company a free peek at yourself in your own birthday suit!" yelled a chuckling Kei.

"Oro the Fxxx is wrong with you, Kei? You crazy baka! I had a towel on!" she retorted while still holding onto Miroku's shirtfront. "Hai, you 'had' a towel on until it fell off! You made a lot of old fools real happy- even old Vittorio Galadriel himself!" Kei said, roaring with laughter. "Mr. Garner saw me naked? Oh Christ, am I in for it now!" screeched Kome. "Calm down. He's the least of your worries. Garner saw you naked but so did Gooley, Dr Q, Admirals Pike and Kirk of 'Starfleet', Commissioner Gordon of the 'ISSP', Commander Klink of 'GC', Colonel Flagg of the 'UG', Commodore Bond of the 3WA and of course- Galadriel himself!" giggled the redhead merrily. "Who the Fxxx is this Vittorio friggin' Galadriel character anyway? Some weirdo from Yars?" screamed an enraged Kome.

"Nai. Not at all, kiddo. He's just the Intergalactic Commander-in-Chief and Grand Admiral of the 3WA and 'UG'- our big boss!" replied Kei dryly. "Look hazu, rather than fight with each other- now that the guys are here why don't we all just have a good time? You guys bring along your trunks? Nai? OK- Miroku, Sess, Kouga! Go rep up some trunks for you guys. Last one in's a 'Tretorian Lizardosaurus'!" yelled the redhead, executing a triple somersault off the fifteen meter diving board. Yuri, who had been mothering Kome, came over to Kei as she climbed out of the pool.

Cont in Ch 93-Part 2

Here's Ch 93-part 2-K&K

"OK, you can snow the rest of 'em but not Yuri Donovan! Oro's wrong, Kei?" she demanded, her hands on Kei's shoulders and staring right into her green aizu unflinchingly. "It's bad news, Yuri, really bad but can't I tell you later? Let's let 'em enjoy themselves before I drop the bombshell on them. Aren't we entitled to some fun too?" Kei seemed quite serious too. "OK, you win. We'll play it your way, Kei. How's about a volleyball game? We haven't played since the Intergalactic Championship Matches three years ago. You remember?" replied Yuri with an impish grin. "Don't remind me!" answered a rueful Kei. The entire story of that fiasco can be found in 'DP Flash/Mission 3/Winners in Summer Colors' if anyone is interested. Everything returned to status quo and the guys all behaved like gentlemen. The girls forgave them and even Kome finally saw the humor in her own little 'faux paux'!

"Ah, Hell! They probably just got a quick peek at me anyway! The Boss blanked those screens pretty damned quick! Kinda funny when ya look back on it!" thought the new ensign to herself. Time passed pleasantly until at long last, Yuri reluctantly spoke up. "Sorry guys but it's 1730 already and time for dinner. Gather up your stuff and let's go." she said. There were some slight objewctions and a few grumblings at first but then they all packed up their gear and strolled over to the 'archway'.

"Yuri, with Zoe away I'll need someone else to help us out in the galley." said Leila. "James 'loves' to help out in the kitchen so he's your man, Leila." said Jessie shoving James into Leila's arms while James grabbed Meowth. "Looks like two-thirds of 'Team Rocket' is blasting off again!" said james. "That's right!" added Meowth. "Get changed and meet me in the galley, guys. It's the room next to the dining hall on the left. Don't forget." said Leila.

"Leila had better prepare for double trouble especially if those two cook like they fight!" joked Kei. "I don't want any of you children coming down to the table without first taking a bath and changing your clothes. Is that clear?" demanded Robin Senna sternly. "Yes, ma'am!" they chorused. "Christ, Lady! I'm seventeen years old! You don't have to remind 'me' to take a bath!" thought Conan. "I'll help you out, Leila." offered Rachel Moore cheerfully. "Arigato, Rache. I'd really appreciate it." replied Leila.

"Rin, Conan, Shippou, Rei, Mina, Mako, Ami, Serena, Ash, Misty, Brock, Jessie. You guys will report to Leila as well. Let's go, kids." said Faye. "We got everyone now?" asked Sango. "Yumi, onegai do a quick headcount for me." she added. Yumi did a quick headcount and announced "OK Sango, we got 'em all. Call for the arch." she replied. "Archway now." commanded Sango and a doorway materialized in the air in front of them and they all passed through it. "End program." she ordered and suddenly they were all standing on a floor of grid squares in a room having bare metallic walls.

The party reached the hallway and split up, each one returning to their own quarters. 'Team Rocket' left with 'Team InuYasha' while the 'Moore Detective Agency' went with 'Ivanhoe's group. The 'Sailor Scouts' and the 'Pokemon Trainers' followed Robin, Faye and Yumi back to their own rooms while Nick and Legato got Aelita to her feet and supported her to the door. "Who are you bunking with, kid?" asked the renegade preist.

"Yuri put me in with Miss Valentine, Mr Wolfwood." she replied. "Didn't Kei tell you we're all informal around here? I'm Legato, he's Nick and Miss Valentine is Faye, Aelita." said Legato. They half carried and half supported the Lyokan princess (who winced at the pain in her leg a few times but still smiled bravely) to Faye's suite.

"Thanks for the help, Nick, Legato. I really appreciate it." said Aelita. "Any time, Aelita." replied Legato. "Sure you don't need any help getting ready, Princess?" asked Nick. The door shot open and Aelita was roughly yanked into the suite.

"Nai, she does not, preist. You sure you ain't related to that baka monk? See you later, guys." said Faye, slamming the door shut.

The 'Unholy Four' (Kei, Yuri, Marlene and Kome), Fred, Cordy, Ivanhoe and Donnatella were the last ones to leave the holodecks. The poor bewildered Ninja was still trying to figure out what kind of an experiment Miroku had been conducting that involved spying on the bathing beuties so he asked the 'Dark Knight' who smiled and whispered to him.

"That perverted sicko!" yelled Donnie. "Oro's wrong?" asked Yuri.

"Nothing, Miss D. Sorry if I frightened you." he replied.

The gallant knight insisted on accompanying his captain, Lady Yuri, Lady Marlene and Lady Kome back to their rooms so Donnatella gallantly insisted on performing the same service for Fred and Cordy. Ivanhoe and Donnatella were the only ones in the group who had no need to change for dinner. Why? The knight never removed anything but his heavy armour while always wore his Ninja garb under whatever else he happened to be wearing. In this case it was an old set of Anton's sweats from back when Anton was a good twenty kilos heavier than he was now!

The 'Unholy Four' decided on 'civvies' for their dinner attire this evening. For Yuri and Mar that meant dresses while Kome opted for her usual 'Eagles' McNabb #5 jersey, grey slacks, white headband and sandals. Kei went for a daring black tanktop with a plunging neckline, red capris, green headband and black 'Chukka' or 'Moon' boots. Of the quad, Kei was the only one armed. She had a Mark XIII ion cannon in a shoulder holster and no jacket or vest covered it unlike Faye whose Glock 7 was covered by a red blazer. In addition she wore a daring yellow top and a black miniskirt.

Serena, Rei, Ami, Mina, Mako, Rin, Ed and Misty all wore identical outfits consisting of white polos, grey sweatpants and sneakers. Conan and Shippou had on black polos, black sweatpants and sneakers. All the kids had on 'repulsor lifters' as well to facilitate their getting around the dining hall and galley. They were busy taking orders, delivering meals, bussing tables and filling glasses and cups like crazy.

Meowth was feeding the 'beasties' for Jamie the Scot who was tending to the bar for Saitoh who was on a much needed break. Kei was teaching him how to make a 'Flaming Zombie' which he'd never heard of before now!

Miroku was still a bit 'under the weather' and had not come down to dinner. It seems that Leila had walloped the Hell out of him for asking Rin to bear his children! However, Leila did send Kouga up with a platter for him.

James, Leila, Rachel and Yumi were replicating orders like there was no ashita. I just 'love' to cook 'this' way, ladies." said james cheerily.

Yuri had administered a shot of 'Deadenyl 64', a painkiller, toi Aelita and had told her that the cast could come off ashita no ban, the day after tomorrrow. Inu Yasha had started yet another food fight and merry jigoku was running rampant! In other words- it was just another 'average' mealtime aboard the 'Angel'.

"OK, Dierdre! Oro the oni is going on?" whispered Yuri to the redhead. Yuri always used Kei's middle name whenever she was angry with the firebrand. Other people just yelled at each other but Yuri was a little on the weird side!

"You'll find out the same time that everyone else does, Enya!" replied Kei who always used Yuri's middle name whenever she was 'really' steamed at her! Everyone knows that Kei is 'more' than just a little on the weird side!

"I'll make the shimatta announcement just as soon as we've cured our 'time loop' woes and have Khan safely under lock and key in the brig. Now leave me alone. Shimatta!" she whispered back. Then she added "Hey, Vacuumhead! That junk you shot up Aelita with- she ain't gonna do a 'Freako Kome' number on us and start runnin' around in her undies, is she?" whispered Kei urgently.

"Nai, Boss. I did a blood test on her and she's not allergic to 'Deadenyl 64'. Besides, it's just about time to take off the cast. You're like an ole mother hen, Kei! Stop worrying, will ya!" Yuri whispered back.

"Yo! Oro's the big secret, kids?" asked Nick, sloshing his martini all over them. "Hey, watch it, stupid!" yelled Kei.

"No secret, Nick. Just girl talk. Any word from Emma yet?" asked Yuri and Nick shook his head and frowned.

"Nai. Nothing. Frankly, I'm worried. Emma hasn't called in since last night. I sure hope she's alright, Yuri." he said doubtfully.

"There's one way to find out. Gomen (Excuse) me for a second. (Kei trilled to Mugghi on the bridge) Mugghi, you there? Wake up, Furball! Any calls come in for us? Nai? OK, arigato. You can go back to sleep, Mugghi." she said.

"Tell her to contact the 'Emerald Queen', Kei! Emma might need help!" yelled Yuri.

Cont in Ch 93-Part 3

Here's Ch 93-Part 3-K&K

"Nai, Yuri. We can't do that. They're on radio silence so that Khan can't track us so easily. That's why we've arranged to have Emma contact us only once every 24 hours. (Kei checked her wristchromo) It's 1930 and her check-in time is at 2100. We'll just have to wait. If she hasn't contacted us by 2130, I'll call her. OK?" asked a somewhat annoyed Kei and her exec nodded.

After dinner most of them retired to the rec room except for those that were on KP duty of course. At 2000 Kei once again trilled to Mugghi upstairs.

"Mugghi, how long before we reach those blasted coordinates I gave you? Another twelve hours! That long? OK, then by 0800 we should be able to get rid of this 'time flux' crap, eh? OK, keep in touch, Furball. Kei out." she trilled.

Wesley and Nick Wolfwood were playing 'Duel Monsters' (The same as the one played on that old Terran TV show 'YuGiOh' during the 21st Century) and Kei wandered over to watch. "I'll lead off with 'Soldier of Stone' in attack mode and I'll place one card face down to end my turn." siad Nick.

"I'll use 'Polymerization' to combine my 'Swamp Creature' with my 'Maelstrom of Destruction' and put 'Swamp Maelstrom' in defense mode. I will also place a card facedown on the field and end my turn as well." replied Wesley.

"Do you wish to try your luck, Lady Kei? Shall we duel?" asked an oily voice from behind Kei. She turned to confront of all people- Mordor the dark Wizard!

"Mordor? I din't think you knew how to play 'Duel Monsters'!" she said incredulously. "Donnatella and Charles (Gunn) explained the game to Fingal (the White Druid) and myself. It seems simple enough, my dear Lady." replied the Dark Wizard.

Nick and Wes suppressed chuckles. "Go ahead, Kei. Accept his challenge. You can do it. Just trust in the 'Heart of the Cards'. He needs taking down a notch." said Wesley.

"I can't. I don't have my deck with me. Sorry, Mordor." answered Kei. Mordor smiled a pressed the replicator control bar.

"Cards, 'Duel Monsters', Standard Deck, 'Tea Gardner' class." he said and removed a freshly repped deck from the machine which he profferred to Kei with a flourish. "Here, my dear. With my compliments. (Kei hesitated) Would you prefer to use 'my' deck? I assure you they are identical, my dear. Remember that this game is new to me as well." said Mordor courteously.

"OK. I'll try, Mordor." replied Kei, accepting the newly repped deck from him.

"Your move, dear lady." he invited politely.

"He who hesitates is lost! Remember, my dear that the best defense is a good offense." said Fingal who was shooting pool with Jett Black, Spike Steigel and Faye Valentine.

"No coaching, you old fool!" cried the Dark Wizard.

"She has never played before, you conniving trickster! (Not true of course. Kei was quite adept at the game) Don't be such a baka! I was merely 'advising' the child, not 'coaching' her!" defended Fingal indignantly.

"You playing 'Around the World' or 'Duel Monsters', old man?" demanded Faye, blowing a smoke ring and spearing through it with her cheroot much to the delight of the children.

" 15 'carom' off 13 to send 7 into the rear corner pocket." answered Fingal and suiting his actions to his words by holing his shot.

OK- In a four player 'Around the World' match or game, 3 of the players are each assigned 4 balls while the fourth player (who is drawn by lot in advance) is assigned the remaining 3 balls. Thus- balls 1 to 4 were Spike's; 5 to 8 were Fingal's; 9 to 12 were Faye's and 13 to 15 were Jett's, he being odd man out.

Spike had sunk the 1, 3 and 4 balls needing only the 2 ball to win; Fingal had sunk balls 5, 6 and 7 needing only the 8 ball to win; Faye had sunk only the 10 and still needed to sink the 9, 11 and 12 balls to win (hence her terse acerbity with Fingal!) and Jett had sunk only the 14 ball but with both the 13 and 15 balls lined up, one shot sinking both without scratching (holing the white cue ball as well) would win him the match!

Hoever, it was still Fingal's turn and he was facing a 'rail' shot to sink his 8 in the far left corner pocket. In a 'rail' shot, the cue ball must first strike the 'rail', the upright side of the table, next to the ball with enough force to dislodge the ball by barely touching it. This should cause the struck ball to 'carom' or bounce into the opposite 'rail' and shoot down that side of the table and into the designated hole to win the match.

Fingal lit up a cigar which Shippou had handed to him (Kouga had found the box of cigars in with the extra New Years' celebration stuff) and said "Be bold, Captain! Lead off with an attack perhaps coupled with a trap or magic card which is put into play facedown on the field." said Fingal.

Now Spike had had enough! "Will you shoot or forfeit, old man!" he yelled.

"Oh, alright, Sonny! I just thought to tell the 'Boss' that she should always start out a duel with a bang!" he replied hotly. POW! Fingal's cigar exploded in a shower of sparks! "Great Drago! That thing must be bewitched!" he yelled amidst the raucous laughter which soon filled the room.

"Sorry sir." said Shippou, hustling over with the box of cigars. "You want another one, sir?" asked the young kitsune youkai.

"No, thank you very much! One was quite enough!" roared Fingal, the starburst stogie still clamped tightly between his teeth. "Fox-Boy, get me one of those 'Singapore Slings' from the Caledonian (Scottish) laddie (Jamie),please. Sorry I yelled at you, Son." said the Druid, spitting out the ruined cigar.

"While we're still young, Grandpa!" yelled Spike.

"Keep yer breeches on, Cowboy! I'm a-coming!" replied Fingal while looking over his next shot. " 8 ball off the 'rail' and into the far left corner pocket." Fingal snapped his 'rail' shot, caught it cleanly into the 'rail' left of the ball, 'caroming' the 8 ball across the table and into the left wall and then down the 'trough' into the far left corner pocket. "Game, set and match! I win and it looks like the drinks are on the young lady since she still has 3 balls left to sink, the big fellow has two and the little twerp still has one." he crowed.

Shippou handed the winner a tall glass of amber fluid which had been ignited. "Well, down the hatch! Chug-a-lug!" said Fingal, blowing out the flame before gulping it down!

"Fingal! Don't play 'Chug-a-lug' with a 'Singapore Sling'! You'll get sick!" yelled Kei, upsetting her table and trying to yank the drink from the Druid's grasp (unsuccessfully). Fingal's aizu rolled up, his body stiffened and he slowly crashed over backwards and onto the floor!

A 'Singapore Sling' is made up of one shot of every single drink in the bar mixed together and then ignited. Sometimes a small umbrella is placed atop it and it is garnished with a twist of lemon. The drink itself originated in a dockside bar in early 19th Century Singapore, a city in the far east on old Terra when an old sea captain swaggered in and demanded a drink. "What ya want, Mate?" asked the barkeep.

"Just gimme some of everything in this bloody dive and set it afire! Hurry up!" yelled the old salt. Angered, the barkeep did 'exactly' what he'd been told to do. He mixed Skotch, Bourbon, Rye, Irish whiskey, brandy, sherry, rum, Cointrelle, ouzo, sake, vodka, Kirchwasser, slivovitz, eggnog, sasparilla sodawater, wine, beer, ale, mead, coffee, tea and Schnapps together, poured it into a tall mug and tossed in lit match! The skipper took one long pull at it, went glassy-aizued and crashed to the floor! Being a huge Dutchman, no one could move the big lummox until finally a sail was produced, he was laid on it, four big hulking dudes each took a corner of the homemade 'sling' and the captain was carried back to his ship. Needless to say, next day, he had one Helluva hangover!

Mordor, who had been picking up the cards and righting the table upsert by Kei, looked over and observed dryly "The old fool never could hold his liquor!"

Kei was gently shouldered aside and Jamie picked up the Druid. Ivanhoe and Nick led the way and the Scot carried Fingal upstairs to Ivanhoe's suite. "Och! I hope he'll be all reet! I asked that Mr Black how to make one of those 'Slingy' things yesterday and he said to just dump a shot of everything into a glass and set ift on fire! So I did and now look at this poor elderly gentleman! Woe is me! Whatever will the Doctor and Zoe say when they find oot oro I've done!" wailed Jamie. The dark knight placed a kindly hand on his shoulder.

"Lord Jamie, you have no reason to reproach yourself for this. 'Twas naught but an accident." soothed Ivanhoe.

"Yeah kid, it ain't your fault that baka can't understand English! Kei told him not to 'Chug-a-lug' it so it ain't your fault!" agreed Nick.

Cont in Ch 93-Part 4

Here's Ch 93-Part 4-K&K

"Do ye think he'll be all reet on the morrow?" asked the Scot.

"Right as rain except for the hangover but you can make him a 'Prairie Oyster' for that, eh?" said Nick.

"I'll have that cowboy Spike make one for him. I dinna really know how to make them, Mr Nick." replied Jamie.

"Hey! Will one of you bakas pick up for Christ's sake! This is the 'Emerald Queen' calling the 'Lovely Angel 2'. Come in onegai. Mugghi, is that you? Where the jigoku is everybody? This is Ann. Ann Hathaway, Furball. Go get Kei, Yuri, Kome or Mar! Trill 'em now! We've got Khan's ship trapped! Keisie, try to talk to her. Maybe you can get through to her. Mugghi, here's your tomo." said Ann, tossing the mike to the fiery-haired Amazon, Keisie, who caught it deftly. She was Emma's co-pilot while Ann was her navigator.

"Konnichi wa, Furball and listen up! Go and find one of your shi (four) mistresses stat! Tell her that Vash has taken out Khan's weapons and propulsion systems. Now he's 'dead in the water', that is he's trapped in the gravity well above 'Halcyon'. Our 'Emerald Queen' is keeping Khan from landing the 'Bay' while the 'Starcrusher' is preventing him from retreating back into the wormhole. The 'Sol Bianca' as well as our own two shuttles have him bottled in from the sides. However, Emma needs your authorization to board and arrest Khan and his crew. If the 'UG' agrees, we'll launch two of 'Starcrusher's' shuttles, grab Khan and his gang and transfer them to the 'Queen'. Emma, han and Arkie can then send over a skeleton crew for the 'Bay' under the 'Baron's' command and fly it back to 'Seto kaiba'. The 'Green Baron' was Emma's pilot. So go find somebody for us! Oro? Of course now, you baka jackass and hurry it the Fxxx up!" commanded Keisie.

"Do you think that she understood you?" asked Ann Hathaway.

"Hai. I think so, Ann but we'll just have to wait and see!" replied the authoress of the 'Kronos' disaster of AD 2140.

END of Chapter 93. Chapter 94 'A Frigid Queen/A Silent Angel' or 'Battle Stations!' to follow soon. Hope Barbaro gets better soon. Please r/r/s. Enjoy and kami bless-K&K

Cont in Ch 94-Part 1

Here's Ch 94-Part 1-K&KDISCLAIMER: OK Vegeeta, it's all yours! First, thank you to Mr. T. for the use of the Angels. Thanks to everyone else who is letting us use their creations. How was that, Yuri? Great! Oh yes it was, Kei! Well, we left you up in the air so let's get to Chapter 94 without further preamble:-

Chapter 94

'A Frigid Queen/A Silent Angel' or 'Battle Stations!'

"CRAP! I'm freezing my ass off in these shimatta hotpants! Ann, I'll hold down the fort up here. Could you onegai bring me a jumpsuit from stores?" pleaded a shivering Keisie who was wearing a silver 3WA battle bikini uniform circa AD 2140!

"Sure thing, Keisie. I'll be right back." said Ann, trotting to the lift and heading down to the storage lockers on Level 2.

Emma's vessel had five decks, the command deck being Level 5; the weapons deck was Level 4; On Level 3 were the officers' cabins; Level 2 contained storage lockers and the crew's cabins along with sick bay, the rec room, the dining rooms and the holodecks and the lowest deck- Level 1- was reserved for the warp core, computers, docking bays and the 'Queen's' ultra weapon, the 'Quasar Eliminator'. Even Emma was unsure of its deadly potential. It was Arkton's pet project and only he and Keisie knew how to fire it. However, since Grand Admiral of the 3WA Galadriel had absolutely forbidden its use, this was a moot point. He'd compared and likened it to the Tarvelian Empire's 'Death Star' weapon!

Level 1 in addition to her other rooms also contained the fuel chambers. The 'Queen' ran on two basic fuels- 'Dilythium Crystles' and 'Xiridium 25', the former being the standard starship fuel while the latter was the secret to the 'Queen's' incredible warp speed of 55.3! It was (naturally) a fuel that was quite rare and totally illegal under every intergalactic law imaginable! Of course, Emma's original crew knew about it but Keisie had been sworn to secrecy not to reveal that fact to anyone else aboard, especially the two biggest blabbermouths in the 3WA- her partner, Yuri 2 and Ann Hathaway!

Halfway down the hall to the lift, Ann fowned. Why the Hell was it getting so cold? Where was the shimatta heat. She tapped her comm badge. "Doctor, this is Ann Hathaway. It's darn cold up here! Could you please check the heating unit controls? Hai, I'll hold. Oro? Could you please repeat that, sir?" trilled the svelte blonde navigator.

"I said- this red bubble-headed fruitcake ('The Flash') broke off the blasted rheostat control knob. I sent the green dimwit ( 'Green Lantern') with him to stores for another one but that was a half hour ago and I have not heard from them since, dear lady." yelled the small time lord testily.

"OK, thanks, Doc. I'm on my way down there so I'll see oro's keeping them for you." replied Ann.

"Thank you very much, Miss hathaway, er, Ann. Goodbye, my dear." said the Doctor 2.

Ann boarded the lift, said 'Level Two' and the doors closed behind her. The descent was much, much slower than aboard the 'Angel'. There was really no comparison between the 'Angel's' turbolifts and the 'Emerald Queen's' freight elevator lifts!

"Temperature?" she inquired from lift control. "Minus 15 degrees Kelvin." was the answer. Ann zipped her flight suit all the way up, buckled the collar flap across her throat, pulled on her heated glves and activated the suit's heat thermals as well as the ones in her heated boots. A trifle warmer but if Ann was still cold while being bundled up to the hilt- Ka-Mi!- Keisie must be freezing her kawaii ass off upstairs! Finally- an eternity later- the lift stopped and the doors slid open. Ann hurried over to the doors marked 'Storage Areas/A to L' and pushed them open. She quickly grabbed a heavy black pullover, a heavy green jumpsuit, a pair of insulated black boots, thick black gloves, two heavy red hooded anoraks (heated of course!) and a pile of blankets. She dumped it all in one of the hover baskets and turned to go. Then she remembered that she still had to look for 'Flash' and 'Lantern' for the Doctor. Hearing a commotion from the rear of the big room, she ran back there. Ann heard two faint voices which gradually became louder as she approached.

"Look John, my 'blue-eyed white dragon' beats your 'Celtic warrior'!" said the first voice.

"No Wally, it don't because my 'warrior' struck first and he gets a field bonus of 300 points!" replied the second voice.

"You don't get field bonuses unless you're in a tournament, stupid! And it still don't make no never mind that you struck first either! My 'dragon' has 3,000 attack points and your warrior only has 1,500! So I win because that reduces your life points to zero!" replied the first voice angrily.

"You must be cheatin', Wally!" yelled the second voice loudly.

Ann couldn't believe her own ears! Everyone on the ship was getting chilblains because these two baka idiots were arguing over a shimatta 'Duel Monsters' game! She had had enough! Drawing her laser sword hilt, Ann activated it and leaped forward, slashing downwards on the table which was covered with dueling cards, slicing both cards and table in twain!

"Oro the Fxxx is wrong with you, Lady!" yelled John Stewart, the 'Green Lantern'.

"Yeah, babe! Oro's the big idea!" cried Wally West, the 'Flash'.

Ann was seeting with anger but she just managed to curb her fiery temper.

"Would ya mind putting away your toy, Honey?" added the kid, Wally West.

Ann extinguished her weapon and reholstered it. "I am not your 'babe' or your 'honey', Sonny Boy! You two idiots were sent here over a half hour ago to pick up a heatrheostat control switch knob to replace the one this baka dummy broke off! Instead, I find you fighting over a baka kids' game! By the way, John- the kid's right. A 'blue-eyed white dragon' beats every other card in the deck except 'Xodia' and the odds of drawing those five cards is almost nonexistent- like a billion to one or so! Here, take this! (Ann pulled out a heat rheostat control switch knob and a new control switch unit and shoved them into John's hands) Get your asses back down to engineering! The Doctor's waiting for these things! Tell him to get the Kami shimatta heat back on stat!" yelled Ann, running back to her hover basket and trundling it onto the lift.

"Hathaway! It's Fxxxing 'Ice Station Zebra' up here! Where the Hell are you? I'm freezing to death! Oro's keeping you? Ah-Choo! Ah-Choo!" yelled Keisie, sneezing.

"Gesundheit! Sorry Keisie, it's this shimatta lift! It's so slow! See you soon, kid!" replied Ann, soothingly. As soon as the lift doors opened on Level 5, the green-aizued Amazon yanked the trolley basket out of Ann's hands and stripped down to her underthings right then and there!

"Keisie! Change in the bathroom or something, for Kami's sake! Oro if somebody sees you like that?" yelled Ann.

"I don't give a Fxxx, Annie! I'm friggin' freezing!" she replied, yanking on the pullover and jumpsuit and then pulling on the boots, gloves and anorak. "There! That's so much warmer! Screw 'em all! Until this damned mission's over, I'm wearing pants, whether they like it or not!" she said, stooping to retrieve her gunsash, holster and weapons. Ann donned the other anorak and then she and Keisie carried the blankets back to the bridge. Unlike the 'Angel', Emma's bridge was one huge room, not two.

Vash the Stampede, Emma, Genie, Batman and the Baron seemed impervious to cold while Yuri 2 was already asleep in her cabin as were all the fighter, security and weapon teams. Ann picked up the ship's intercom mike and keyed it.

Cont in Ch 94-Part 2