Thread: Dirty Pair Fanfiction

Ch 129-K&K

DISCLAIMER: OK Voltron, it's all yours! First, thank you to Mr. T. for the use of the Angels. Thanks to everyone else who is letting us use their creations. How was that, Yuri? Great! Oh yes it was, Kei! Well, we left you up in the air so let's get to Chapter 129 without further preamble:-

Chapter 129

'Dueling Dervishes' or 'Tale of the Jamie'

The 'Deadly Duo' were new best pals Serena aka Sailor Moon and Ed. Now instead of fighting with each other they found new ways to give headaches to the crew especially the 'Unholy Four'!

"Relax! They both went to the holodecks with Robin and Rachel. Conan, the Nijas, 'Ratty' (Master Splinter), Casey and April went with them and the scouts. Robbie or Rachel will trill us if they need any help. Yumi and Misao are right over there if we need them. Want a drink?" said Kaoru.

"Yeah. I need one! Arbor Mist Lighthouse please." replied Yuri while kicking off her boots and sliding out of her blazer.

"Arbor Mist Lighthouse and another Sling, Zanza!" yelled kaoru to the BOD, Sanosuke Sagahara.

"Coming right up, Missy!" yelled Zanza. "Hey Kenshin! Put down the cards and take these over to Missy and the Commodore stat!" yelled the last survivor of the Checki Houtai Regiment.

Kenshin Himura placed his dueling disk sleeve on the bar and turned to Oddo. "No peeking now- that would be cheating, that it would. I will be right back, that I will." admonished the ex-'Hittokiri Battousai' ('Legendary Manslayer'), picking up the two drinks and walking over to Yuri and Kaoru's table where the two girls were chatting merrily away.

Kaoru was telling Yuri all about the many adventures she and her friends had had in the 'Meiji Era' (late 19th Century) back in Japan on old Terra while Yuri was extolling the dark-haired firebrand with tales of her own adventures with Kei in the 23rd Century with the good old 3WA over the years.

"Your drinks, Ladies. My- you are both looking quite kawaii (lovely) this evening, that you are. Enjoy yourselves." said Kenshin politely.

"Hey Kenny! You playing or forfeiting? My damned monsters keep falling off the bar! Get back over here and finish this blessed duel!" grumbled the dwarf.

"Coming. I apologize for holding up our game my tomo, that I do. Now- where were we?" said Kenshin.

Instead of answering Oddo attacked with his 'Knight Errant' which sprung one of Kenshin's 'trap' cards. This caused Oddo not only to lose his monster and 400 lifepoints but to freeze his remaining monsters for two full turns! This (of course) caused the little fellow to groan and curse. Kenshin tried to be sypathetic.

"Oh dear. That drops you down to 1,600 lifepoints while I unfortunately still have 2,600 of them, that I do. Now it is my turn. I will place this card face down, switch my 'Castle of Fang' to defense mode and end my turn, taht it shall." said Kenshin which annoyed Oddo to no end.

"Oh just shut the Hell up, Kenny! You're even worse than Fingal! Must you always repeat everything like that? It really is most unsettling!" complained the dwarf angrily.

Oddo threw down a card emblazoned with a golden dragon. "I play 'Drago the Golden Guardian' in attack mode. I place a second card face down and use 'Polymerization' to fuse 'Drago' with the 'Dark Knight of Chaos' raising his attack points to 3,700 and 'Drago's' special ability allows me to banish any monsters of yours to the graveyard if they happen to be in defense mode. So- say 'sayonara' to 'Castle of Fang', Kenny my lad! Your lifepoints are now defenseless and after my next turn, I'll finish you off, Battousai!" crowed Oddo with delight.

Kenshin drew a card from his deck and placed it on the field. "I shall play 'Musashi, the Fierce Samurai' in attack mode, that I shall, my good tomo. This ends my turn, that it does." said Kenshin.

"I place 'Baby Ninja' on the field in attack mode. One more turn and then my monsters will destroy you. Your turn, Boyo!" replied Oddo.

"I use 'Musashi' to attack 'Baby Ninja', that I do." announced Kenshin and Oddo grinned impishly.

"Baka! You've activated my 'trap' card 'Time Wizard' which has caused time to speed up. My 'Baby Ninja' is now a full grown 'Warrior Ninja' while your poor 'Samurai' has aged into a decrepit old codger! (that destroys 'Musashi' of course, that it does! was oro Oddo wanted to say but he held his tongue!) Now that my mosters are free again, go 'Drago' and attack his lifepoints directly. Farewell, Battousai! 'Drago' has 3,700 attack points but since you only have 2,600 lifepoints, I'm afraid that your lifepoints are totally wiped out! I win, Kenny! A good duel though, me boyo laddie!" crowed the dwarf with delight.

"You are a true warrior, Oddo-San, taht you are. It was indeed an honour to duel aginst you, tomo watashi, that it was." replied Kenshin, bowing deeply to the dwarf. A sudden commotion at the bat caused them to turn in that direction.

"Hi there guys! Hey Zano! Get my pal here a Skotch and I'll have a beer!" yelled Jamie Wilson (the one travelling with Gene Starwind and company on the 'Outlaw Star'). He and Jamie McCrimmon (Doctor 2 and Zoe's travelling companion) had just entered the rec room.

"Where the oni (devil) have you two been?" asked Zanza, placing a fifth of 'Cutty' and a glass in front of the Scot and a frothy mug of cold beer in front of the other jamie.

"Takin' a wee bit of a constitutional around the ship to build up an appetite and a thirst, laddie." replied the tall Highlander.

"Yeah and we stopped by to watch the two kids playing 'Galactic warriors' upstairs on Deck 6. They looked so cute with those toy plasma rifles, man!" added Coop's (MEGAS's Terran pilot) best tomo.

"I didn't know that you guys had any toy guns aboard this old bucket." remarked Kaoru casually.

"We don't, Kaoru. Oro the jigoku made you think that we did?" asked Yuri Donovan.

Jamie just said that the kids had toy plasma rifles that they were playing with up on Level Six." answered the assistant master of the 'Kamiya Kassim' kenjitsu ryu (style of fighting with wooden swords called 'bokkas'). Yuri went totally white!

"Jamie! Who was playing upstairs?" she demanded worriedly.

" 'Weirdo' (Ed) and 'Moonie' (Serena). Why?" he replied.

"Because we don't have any 'toy' plasma rifles aboard, that's why!" yelled Yuri, already racing for the lifts.

END of Chapter 129. Chapter 130 soon. The usual stuff. Have a nice day. See ya soon-K&K

Cont in Ch 130

Ch 130-K&K That's all for awhile folks!

DISCLAIMER: OK Jamies, it's all yours! First, thank you to Mr. T. for the use of the Angels. Thanks to everyone else who is letting us use their creations. How was that, Yuri? Great! Oh yes it was, Kei! Well, we left you up in the air so let's get to Chapter 130 without further preamble:-

Chapter 130

'Gypsy Rose Moonie' or 'Never Bet With Ed'

Meanwhile up on Deck 6---

"I'll bet I can hit that gizmo down there at the end of the hall and you can't!" teased Ed.

"I'll bet you can't and I can!" boasted Serena.

"Oro'll ya bet?" cried Ed.

Serena mulled that one over for awile before replying. "I dunno. Oro do you think, Ed?" she asked.

Grinning impishly, Ed said "Loser's gotta show up for dinner in the buff- au natural- deal?" said the cowgirl and reluctantly Serena nodded her OK. "Deal." she agreed.

"You go first." invited Ed. Serena took dead aim at the ion beam generator (for the 'God Gun'!) and fired, missing it by a foot!

"Darn it! Your turn, Ed." said the scout. Ed raised her rifle and fired, striking the generator just to the right of the activator bar.

"I win! See ya downstairs for dinner in ten minutes. Don't forget our bet!" crowed Ed with unfeigned delight.

"Me and my big mouth!" thought Serena ruefully while she was getting ready for dinner. She had peeled off jeans, jacket and tee shirt and was contemplating herself in Faye's full length mirror. Suddenly she came to a decision. "I'll wear my underthings under my kimono and I'll flash myself once down there but that's it! I will not go totally au natural and Ed can suck a turnip for all I care! Why do I let her con me into this crap?" she thought and pulled on her violet kimono.

When Serena eventually arrived at the dining hall, she was as jumpy as a nekko on a hot tin roof! Then she spotted Ed! To add insult to injury, Ed, who usually showed up at mealtimes in a torn tee shirt and biker shorts, was dressed to the nines! Blazer, vest, sweater, slacks, gloves, boots and a cap- and she'd borrowed a purse from Bulma too!

Ed slid over to take the seat beside Serena and murmurred-

"Nice robe. Oro'd ya do- chicken out?" she teased.

Instead of answering her, Serena tossed off her kimono and stood up!

"Wowie! You sure got guts, Moonie! Dam girl!" cooed Ed, clearly impressed with the scout.

"Miss Tsukino! This is a starship dining hall, not one of your Terran strip clubs so please go and get dressed at once!" bellowed Anton Wilhelm Gustav.

"Dang it! I would be down here without my camera today, wouldn't I?" complained Don Poporo.

Ed pulled the kimono back over the trembling girl's shoulders.

"Ya made good on our bet. We're all square now. Go upstairs and get dressed." whispered the cowgirl.

Faye Valentine had not yet returned from the holodecks so she hadn't witnessed this juicy little incident!

Yuri had found no girls and no plasma rifles on Level Six. A closer inspection revealed a scorch mark on the bulkhead behind the ion beam generator and a second one next to the machine's control/activator bar. She breathed a sigh of relief and decided to confront the two girls later on this evening about the incident in private. She returned to the rec room just in time to miss Serena's 'show and tell' escapade.

Meanwhile Serena (now feeling totally humiliated) was sobbing uncontrollably as she fled back to her quarters. Flinging her kimono to the floor, she threw herself onto her bunk, beating her pillow with a frenzy and crying nonstop.

"Why, why, why do I always listen to that stupid little shithead? Why! She's always getting me into trouble! Why do I put up with her?" howled the scout.

"Because she's your tomo, that's why." said a quiet voice from the doorway. Sango came in, closed the door and sat down on the adjacent bunk.

"Auntie Sango?" sniffled Serena, rubbing the tears out of her aizu.

"Look kid- sometimes we do things that we know we shouldn't do just to kook 'cool' like Kagome and Mikey would say or so we don't look like we're 'chickens' as Kaoru would say but it's OK. Kenny says we should learn from our mistakes. Oro you have to do now is to show Ed that carrying on, daring other people to do dumb things and breaking the rules just aren't 'cool' things to do and may in fact be dangerous. Yeah, ya made a fool outta yourself again but you gotta learn to laugh ay yourself sometimes, Sweetie. Just remember that not only are ya not going to keep on doing dumb things but you're gonna get Ed to stop doing them too. (Sango lowered her voice to barely a whisper) And that was a really dumass and dangerous thing you two bakas did up on Level Six, young lady! Just oro the Hell did you two think you were doing up there?" demanded the demon slayer.

"Hai! I was just gonna ask her that too!" said Yuri Donovan from the doorway.

END of Chapter 130. Chapter 131 soon. Please r/r/s away. Have a nice weekend. Thanks for your support and Kami bless you all. Sayonara for now-K&K

Cont in Ch 131

Here's Ch 131-Part 1-K&K

DISCLAIMER: OK Kaoru, it's all yours! First, thank you to Mr. T. for the use of the Angels. Thanks to everyone else who is letting us use their creations. How was that, Yuri? Great! Oh yes it was, Kei! Well, we left you up in the air so let's get to Chapter 131 without further preamble:-

Chapter 131

'Punishment To Fit the Crime' or 'Gene's Problems Are Just Beginning'

"Yuri! How the oni did you get in here? I could have sworn I'd locked that oter portal!" yelled an agitated and spooked Sango.

"Duh! I'm second in command of this tub! Didn't ya ever hear of overriding the controls? I can open any portal on this ship with my universal override code, children!" said Yuri.

"I appreciate oro you're trying to do for Serena, Sango, however, that stunt she and Ed pulled up on Level Six was quite serious! The time has finally come to address these pranks that those two have been getting away with so get up and get dressed, young lady! We've decided to hold a little powwow up in the ready room about these problems. Sango- you'd better come along as well." said Yuri.

"Oro about Ed, Auntie Yuri?" sniffed Serena, pulling on jeans and a polo shirt.

"Faye's bringing Ed to our little party. Make no mistake- you pests are really in hot water this time! Where the Hell did ya find those plasma rifles? exploded Yuri.

"Plasma rifles? Ed told me they were just toys that fired harmless beams of light. Ya know- like in a flashlight or something." answered Serena, tying her sneakers and wriggling into a suede jacket.

"Harmless! A ten second burst from a plasma rifle could cut someone in half! And that 'hallway' you two were using for a shooting gallery is the barrel of the darn 'God Gun' itself! The 'box thingy' you were using for a target is the 'ion beam generator' or the 'bullets' for the weapon! One of ya just missed hitting the activator bar on it! Since I heard you did the burlesque routine, I guess yours is the scorch mark on the bulkhead wall beside the generator and Ed's was the mark that just missed the 'on' button! Even set at one/1,000th of its true power, that thing could easily destroy 'Luna' er your Trran moon! If you're ready then let's go, girl!" snapped Yuri angrily.

"Yes'm. I'm ready." replied the scout quietly.

Yuri led the way followed by Serena with Sango bringing up the rear. When they got to the ready room, Kei was already holding court!

Flanked by Kome and Marlene, 'She who must be obeyed' presided over a table filled with high-ranking officers including the two chiefs, Legato the 'Bebop' crew with Ed, the 'other' Angels, Ann, Keitarou, the 'Saiyaan' trio-- in short there were representatives from all of the groups aboard the 'Angel'. Gene and his flight crew were of course absent. Yuri took up her post beside Kei while Sango stood behind Serena, her hand on the kid's shoulder.

Kei glared at the terrified scout. "Sit down, Miss Tsukino. You too, Sango." she said very quietly.

Sango sat. "I prefer to stand, ma'am." replied Serena.

"I said-- osawaru!" roared Kei O'Halloran and Serena sat.

CRASH! "OW! Dam you, wench- er I mean Admiral." yelled InuYasha from the floor but the redhead ignored the big hanyou.

"There have been a Helluva lotta shenanigans going on which we've been ignoring for the most part. However- now two of our little miscreants have pulled a stunt which is just too shimatta dangerous for us to ignore it! Before I proceed further, I must tell you this. Oro I am about to reveal to you must not leave this room. Do you all swear to never repeat oro you hear next to anyone outside of this meeting? (Everyone swore except Moonie and Ed who suddenly looked very scared indeed!) Very well then. I will tell you. As some of you may already know, the 'UG'/3WA possess the most powerful weapon in the known universe. Oro most of ya don't know is that this weapon known as the 'sonic beam ion cannon' or as it's called by us the dreaded 'God Gun' is right here aboard this ship while a smaller version of it has been installed on each one of our four shuttlecrafts. (She turned to glare at Ed and Moonie) Ed, Serena- that 'shooting gallery' of yours on Level Six that you found is the barrel of the 'God Gun'! The 'target' you were using is its 'ionic beam generator' and one of ya just missed setting the shimatta thing off! At only 1/1,000th of its vast power that thing could wipe out a planet! Do you two baka morons realize how close ya came to annihilating most of the known universe? (Serena began to sob while Ed said 'No Shit?') So you will understand that the punishment must fit the crime which is why you two are hereby confined to quarters except for your galley duties until further notice! No longer can you guys be trusted with any kind of weaponry and at all times you will wear the newest 3WA novice jr. TC uniform. Yuri's gonna hold one up for ya to see. (Yuri held up the wine coloured blazer and matching top, black miniskirt, grey pantyhose and short black boots. She also held aloft the matching wine beret). In addition you are not only denied shore leave on 'Sontarra' and 'Alderaan' but you will spend that time cleaning anything that your new wardens tell ya to clean after you finish cleaning all the bathrooms on the 'Angel' and the shuttles. Any questions?" demanded Kei.

"Who are the new wardens, man?" asked Ed.

"One of 'em would be me, girls." said Leila.

"Aye and I'm the other one, me wee lassie." added Jamie McCrimmon the Jacobite Scot.

Ed started to sniffle while Serena was bawling uncontrollably.

"It ain't like we didn't warn you guys. You asked for this and now ya got it, baby!" said Faye Valentine unsympathetically.

"Well if that's all you guys got to say--" began Kei.

"Gomen, Auntie Kei. We're really really sorry!" sobbed Moonie.

"We won't do it agian, Auntie Kei. Honest!" whined the cowgirl wannabe.

"Ya shoulda thought of that before ya tried to 'deep six' my Kami shimatta strship, you baka idiots!" snarled the redhead. "You're both dismissed! Go to your quarters and stay there, god dammit!" she roared. Sango and Faye took the tomboys in tow and headed for the exit.

"One more thing. Yuri! Give 'em their new uniforms. (The violet maned exec did so) The next time I see you two I will expect you both to be wearing those. Am I clearly understood?" demanded the redhead in a menacing voice.

Both kids nodded and then left with their chaperones.

Anton and Don exchanged glances. Gustav cleared his throat.

"Weren't we a bit hard on them, old girl?" tried Anton.

"Yeah, Kei. They didn't know oro they were do--" put in Don Poporo.

Kei's glance was cold as ice on Kagura.

"This has been a long time coming, gentlemen. I thought I was a bit too lenient with them myself. I seriously considered confining them to the brig until we reached home, Anto. However, since both of them resent authority and hate humiliation, I er we (Yuri Donovan was looking daggers at Kei) came up with this little alternative solution. I just hope to Fxxxing Christ it works! Now to business--" said the youngest vice-admiral of the 3WA and the 'UG'.

Meanwhile down on Level Five, the kids had jsut been moved into their new quarters together. Leila's suite was next door on the left while Jamie the Scot was next door on the right. Up the hallway was the brig. Leila looked over her new charges and frowned.

"You guys are filthy! Get in there and take a bath." she commanded in a no-nonsense voice of Kelvinite.

"OK, Auntie Leila." they chorused.

Afterwards they returned to their bedroom where Leila held up their new uniforms. Ed shook her head and glared at Leila. Serena pouted.

"Nai, Auntie Leila. I won't wear that damned thing!" said Moonie adamntly.

"No way in Hell am I putting that thing on either!" agreed Ed.

"If you don't wear those then you won't wear anything, kiddies!" exploded Leila.

Both kids had ditched their towels and put on fresh underthings.

"Get to bed now! Just the way you are. No dinner for you two. Good Night!" yelled Leila furiously, storming out and slamming the doors behind her. The kids were shocked to find that Leila had removed all of their other fuku (clothing) from the rooms except for those hated uniforms!

Next door Leila accepted a Skotch from Jamie and sat down on the sofa.

"Nae trouble with the bairns, lass?" he asked. Leila grinned like a Cheshire cat.

"The little Hellcats refused to put on the uniforms so both of 'em went to bed without supper- in their undies. They've got galley duty early ashita and I don't think either one of 'em will be too thrilled having to wait on tables in their scivvies! They'll wear those damned uniforms, trust me, Jamie." said Leila smugly holding out her glass for a refill.

Next door 'Sailor Moon' had decided that Sango was right. Ed was a bad influence on her and she decided to tell her so.

"Well! This is another fine mess you've gotten me into, Ed! Tomorrow I'm wearing that uniform. No way am I gonna go downstairs like this! Sleeping this way is humiliating enough man!" whined Serena Tsukino.

"OK! OK! We'll wear the damned things, crybaby! For now we'd better play things their way. I sure as Hell never thought we'd get stuck up here! All the vents have been welded shut! Let's get some sleep, Moonie. G'Night." said Ed.

Up on the bridge, Gene Starwind was following Nyssa's flightplan and (so far) having no problems at all. They had reached the midway point of 'Bison Fields', however, in another 1,200 kilos 'Smugglers' Ravine' would end and then Gene and company would have a decision to make.

Cont in Ch 131-Part 2

Here's Ch 131-Part 2-K&K

They could head due West and get to 'Alderaan' in thirty hours (a day and a half) but that would mean traversing the most dangerous sector of 'Bison' or they could head South and then North and West for another seventy-two hours (three days) through the easiest part of the belt.

Well, the 'Red Admiral' (as Gene had dubbed Kei) would have to decide. After all, she ran the damned ship, didn't she? His musings were cut short by a blaring voice coming over the PA system's loudspeakers.

"Will Carrot, Tira and Chocolate onegai report to Decks One, Five and Seven for guard duty. You are already quite late. Report immediately. That's all. Kome out."

Shit! They're gonna get their heads handed to 'em on a platter for sure! Gene had been aboard the 'Angel' long enough to know that if there was one thing that really pissed off the 'Unholy Four' (Kei, Yuri, Kome and Marlene) it was showing up late for duty especially guard duty! Gene checked his wristchromo and grinned.

"Five, four, three, two, one, zero and--" he murmurred.

As if on cue the loudspeakers blared to life.

"Carrot! Tira! Chocolate! Where the Fxxxing jigoku are you? Report at once for Christ's sake! That's an order, you morons! This is your CO! Answer me, dammit!" roared the squawkbox speakers.

Gene grinned. "Now they'll get what for, I'll bet!" he thought and trilled the 'Sorcerer Hunters' suite and got no answer! "Strange that Carrot's brother and 'Godzilla' (Gene's name for the big guy sorcerer hunter) aren't thereThey've both got brig detail in another half hour. Where could they all be? Wait a second- why do it the hard way?" he thought and raised his voice.

"Oh, 'CC' ?" he yelled.

"Hai, Captain Starwind? Oro can I do for you, sir?" asked the 'control computer' or 'CC' as he was affectionately known by most of the 'Angel' crew and passengers.

"Locate the five sorcerer hunters for me onegai." replied Gene.

"They are no longer aboard the ship, sir." answered 'CC'.

"Oro? Then where the Fxxx are they you worthless collection of useless junk?" demanded the master of the 'Outlaw Star' angrily.

"Insults are not logical and will not help us, Captain. I repeat- the five members of Master Carrot's troupe are no longer aboard this vessel, sir." said 'CC' quietly.

"Isolate their heat trace trails and DNA profiles. Do a complete scan for them, 'CC' and that's an order!" said a suddenly worried Gene Starwind.

"Negative. No heat signatures nor are there any DNA traces of the five missing individuals. Will there be anything else, sir?" answered 'CC'.

"Nai, that's all. Gomen, er sorry about the insults. I'm just worried. Arigato, pal." replied Gene.

"No problemo, dude. I totally exist to serve you, man. Cowabonga baby! Later, Daddy-O!" said 'CC'.

Gene stared at the console and frowned.

"Mikey's been teaching him New York Terran slang and Clover's been giving him lessons in Beverly Hills Terran jive, Gene." said Marlene Angel from the doorway.

Gene grinned at her. "Hiya, Blondie. Haven't seen those two weirdo chick sorceresses, have ya?" he asked.

"Nai, I haven't. Sorry, Cap. Why not ask 'CC' to find them for you?" said Marlene.

"I just did and he said they ain't aboard, kid." replied Gene.

"They aren't! 'CC', are any transports missing from the docks?" demanded the blonde.

"All transports are in their specified docking bays, Miss Angel." answered 'CC' politely. Now Mar looked puzzled and confused. She grabbed the PA mike, keyed it and was about to speak when she felt a hand covering her own!

"Well, it had to happen eventually, didn't it?" said a quiet voice from behind her as the owner of the voice relieved Mar of the mike.

Mar looked more confused thn ever now!

END of Chapter 131. Ch 132 (untitled) soon. Onegai r/r/s away. Have a great weekend and holiday. Kami bless you all and sayonara for now tomo watashis. Toodles-K&K

Cont in Ch 132

Here's Ch 132-Pt 1-K&K

DISCLAIMER: OK 'CC', it's all yours! First, thank you to Mr. T. for the use of the Angels. Thanks to everyone else who is letting us use their creations. How was that, Yuri? Great! Oh yes it was, Kei! Well, we left you up in the air so let's get to Chapter 132 without further preamble:-

Chapter 132

'Going Home at Last' or 'Adventures in Asteroidland'

Mar turned around to confront-- Kei O'Halloran in all her glory!

"But Katie, I don't understand! Oro has happened? Where the Hell are they, dammit?" cried the usually calm, cool and collected blonde navigator.

"Can't ya guess?" the redhead replied softly. Mar shook her head.

"They're probably gone, kiddo. Gone for good." said Kei in a whisper.

"I just got word from Garner that Dr. Q just finished repairs on the 'Kronos' project so the 'Sorcerer Hunters' would seem to have been the first of our guests to leave us. Others may vanish without warning as well. That's the er good news." added the young vice-admiral.

Gene Starwind barely avoided colliding with a vast asteroid and said "And the bad news, 'Reds'?" Kei glared at him.

"To permanently seal the rift we have to fire the 'God Gun' into the anomaly at seventy percent of its power." she said matter of factly.

Gene clipped a small asteroid (the shields deflected it before it could cause the 'Angel' any damages) and roared "Seventy? Didn't you tell us that at its lowest power setting that thing could incinerate a moon? (Kei nodded) And you want to use it at over 70 times that? (Again she nodded) You're baka, Lady!" yelled Gene Starwind.

"Gomen Captain but the decision has already been made and we will fire the cannon into that vortex. We have complete confidence in Dr. Q's findings. Oro has me worried is where we have to fire it." said Kei grimly.

"And that is where?" coaxed Gene.

"Above Terra. About ten thousand kilos up." replied the redhead quietly.

"Where! Oro? Has this Dr. Q of yours been smoking dilythium or something? You can't fire that shimatta thing from there! You'll incinerate the frigging Earth!" he cried, narrowly avoiding a small asteroid in their flightpath.

"You just concentrate on getting us to 'Alderaan' and let me worry about the 'God Gun'- OK?" said the 3WA/'UG's newest vice-admiral.

"Keep your aizu on the bloody road, Gene!" yelled Nyssa, firing a plasma burst to atomize an asteroid the size of a small moon which had just materialized in front of the ship. Had it hit them the 'Angel' would have been history!

"Solo? Get your ass up here now!" trilled the C.O.

"It's OK, ma'am. I'll be fine." said Gene.

"Nai you won't. You're tired, Sweetie. Let Han take over for awhile." soothed Nyssa.

"Just another 1,200 kilos and we'll be clear of 'Bison', Nyssa. Han doesn't know this sector around 'Alderaan' as well as I do. You guys really need me!" yelled Starwind.

"You still need some rest, tomo watashi." said han Solo quietly from behind Gene's chair. "If I need help, I'll tell ya, ole buddy." he added, clapping his tomo on the shoulder.

"Use one of the bedrooms up her, Gene." said Kei.

"OK. Han, you call me when you sight 'Alderaan'- right? (Han nodded) If you need me, you trill me immediately. Understood?" said Gene.

"Count on it, pal." replied the ex-pirate, leading him to the door.

"I thought he'd never leave." joked Solo, seating himself in the pilot's chair. "He'r right though ya know, Reds." he added smugly.

"Oro the Fxxx do ya mean by that, pirate?" demanded the redhead.

"We're leaving 'Bison Fields' in another five minutes. Which way do we go after that, Boss?" he asked.

"Wher's 'Alderaan' from here- the quickest route?" she asked.

"Due West but that means staying in 'Bison's' most dangerous sector for another thirty hours at least." Han replied worriedly.

"And the other way?" asked Kei.

"South then North and then West through the easiest stretch of 'Bison' for another three days and my choice is the latter, Reds." answered Han hopefully.

Make it due West then, Captain Solo. Do whatever the Hell you gotta do but get us to 'Alderaan' stat. Got it?" said Kei O'Halloran, her emerald aizu flashing.

"Due West it is, mum." said Han, saluting her which Kei ignored and picked up the relay mike.

"Kome or whoever my comm officer is on this shift- put in a relay call to Garner. Trill me when you get him and route the signal to my ready room. I'll take it in there." said Kei, striding out the door.

"Who's comm officer?" asked Han.

"Damned if I know." said Nyssa.

"I am, dammit! I'm buzzing Mr. Garner now!" trilled Kome Sawaguchi angrily.

"Legato, this is Han. I need you on the bridge stat." trilled Solo.

"On my way, tomo." trilled Bluesummers.

Meanwhile in the ready room--

"Ah, Admiral O'Halloran. I was wondering when you were going to call me." said the smiling TSC.

"Cut the shimatta crap, Charlie! Has Q finished 'Knonos' yet? Is that oro happened to our 'Sorcer Hunters' and 'Zodiac Knights'?" demanded the firebrand. Garner sighed heavily.

"Hai, Kei. That's an affirmative and hai, that's where your passengers went. Back home. It'll start happening randomly to the others, however, until you fire that new toy of yours and seal that blasted rift, those random disappearances will not necessarily deliver your folks to where and when they came from originally. I--" began Garner when Kei cut him off abruptly.

"Ya mean that they might end up somewhere and somewhen other than where and when they started from?" asked the redhead incredulously.

"That is exactly oro he means, Katie." said the Chief of the Aquarian Galaxy- Andre Francis Gooley.

"Hiya Andy. I didn't know that you were there too, sir." said Kei, reaching for her glass.

"Katie, I want you to lay off the booze for a bit. We need you with all of your faculties intact. You are going to have to fire that 'God Gun' yourself and the sooner the better. Here are your orders: Get to 'Alderaan' stat by the very shortest route possible and Dump Khan. Then take the 'Angel' to Terra. and we'll relay you the exact coordinates when you get there. We cannot give them to you now because the rift is not stationary- it drifts. That's one of the reasons why you have so many diverse individuals aboard. This thing has been wandering around the universe and gobbling up whatever stumbled into it! When you do fire that gun, you will have exactly fifteen minutes to outrun its resulting shockwave so-- we hereby reluctantly grant you permission to exceed the limits for safe warp speed. Get your ass outta there as quickly as you possibly can. The lighter your 'Angel' is the more speed you can generate so load up all your shuttles, the 'Falcon', the 'hammerhead', the 'Queen', the 'Sol', the 'Coriander' and whatever the Hell other transports you've got aboard and evacuate them after you drop off Khan. You can meet up with them later. Now, how many souls do you need to run the 'Angel'?" said Gooley.

"Berringer's renegades are still out there somewhere so besides a flight crew of nine or ten and an engineering crew of a half dozen or so I'll need fighters, security personnel and guards. Let's say er thirty all told, sir. Agreed?" replied Kei.

"Agreed. Get us up a roster as soon as you can, Katie. Gooley out." said Andre.

"Good luck, love. Call us when you're ready to go, kiddo. Come back to us safely, Keiterran me darlin'. Garner out." added the TSC.

"Roger willco. Kei out." she replied, blanking her vidscreen.

"Han, get this ship to 'Alderaan' and fast. Call me when we arrive. Oh Han- has anyone sent relief guards to Decks One, Five and Seven yet? Nai? Well, send somebody! I don't care who. Just send somebody. Kei out." she trilled.

"Kome, this is Kei. Get Yuri and Mar and report to my ready room. Bring Don and Anton with you. Eh? Nai, tell noone else! This sure looks like it. Oro? Oro we've been waiting for of course! Oh hai- better check on Khan. Report back to me stat. That's all. Kei out." she trilled and drained her glass then she reached for the bottle. Remembering Gooley's warning she repped up some java instead. The portal buzzed and Kei called "Enter." gruffly.

The door swished aside and Kome came in followed by Yuri, Mar, Anton and Don.

"Arigato for coming, guys. Onegai osawaru (Please sit down)." said Kei quietly.

"Trouble." whispered Don to Anton who nodded in agreement.

Kei speedily explained the call to the 'G Twins' and her orders from Gooley.

"So we're gonna do it after all, eh! Shit!" said Don Poporo.

"Who crews the 'Angel', Kei?" asked Anton Wilhelm Gustav.

Cont in Ch 132-Part 2

Here's Ch 132-Pt 2-K&K

"Me - obviously. Otherwise how do we fire the 'God Gun'? We'll need a pilot who knows Terra well- Gene Starwind. Yuri will have the 'Mikey' so our co-pilot will be Jim Hawking. Zoe for navigator since Mar pilots the 'Leo'. Kome for comm and docking officer. Rally will be scanning officer. Nat for weapons with Flay and Cagalli for her gunners. Ivy and his crowd will handle security. Inu Yasha's and Kenny's gangs for our fighter teams. Donnatella, Saavik, Cyborg, the Doctors and John Stewart ("Green Lantern') for our engineers. Don and Anton- you're both too valuable to remain aboard so you'll both go on the 'Raph' and take charge of the evacuations. Legato will be your pilot. Keitarou will pilot the 'Donnie'. Feb, her crew and Arkie will take the 'Sol Bianca'. Emma (Queen Emeraldas) and Fritzy ('Green Baron') will have the 'Emerald Queen'. Han and Jett will pilot their own shuttles- the 'Flying Falcon' and the 'Hammerhead'. Molly Callahan will pilot the 'Outlaw Star'. Kiva and her crew will leave with the 'Coriander'. Robin Senna and Faye Valentine have charge of the kids and you guys can decide amongst yourselves who goes with who or is it whom?- Who cares! I want you guys loaded up and ready to go as soon as we hit 'Alderaan'. My skeleton crew can handle dropping off Khan so the rest of you will head for Furool City. You'll hate me for this I know but uniforms and weapons for all hands. From now until decided to the contrary, everyone is under 'UG'/3WA command. That means I an C.O. for all of ya and that will include 'Starfleet' personnel as well as you- Don, Anton. I'll call you just before I fire the 'God Gun' then we'll hightail it outta there and catch up with you guys later. Any questions?" finished Kei, lighting up a Player's Naval Cuts cigarette.

"Just one, Kei. Are Serena and Ed still under house arrest?" asked Yuri Donovan.

"Nai. I think they've learned their lessons." replied Kei.

"Oro about Vader, his storm troopers, Musashi and his Samurai as well as Sutek, Warp and Slade?" asked Marlene Angel.

"They all stay. There ain't no room for 'em on any of the ships or shuttles. Besides, they may just vanish after I seal up that hole. Naraku and the 'Master' remain too. If there is nothing else, I wish us all 'Kamispeed' (Godspeed) and good luck. Hope to see you all soon. Better get your packing done. Sayonara." replied Kei.

"Try to control your temper, Kei. Remember that I won't be here to patch up anyone so keep sick bay empty." chuckled Yuri.

"See ya real real soon, kiddo." laughed the redhead. "Hey Yuri?" she whispered. "Tell Kome she can wear pants with her uniform this time." chortled the firebrand.

"Remember Deirdre- no booze!" admonished Anton with a grin.

"You all be real careful now, girl." said Don, hugging her much to Kei's dismay.

"May the road rise to meet you, Boss and er well you know the rest. Good luck, Katie." said Mar.

Anton had hung behind them to speak privately with Kei.

"We'll have to make an announcement, Deirdre. Want me to handle it for you?" asked Anton softly. Kei nodded.

"Arigato, Chief. Better tell 'Sontarra' not to expect the 'GE 999' for like a few more weeks." she answered gratefully.

"Oro's the time, Don?" asked Anton.

Don checked his wristchromo. "Twenty hundred hours, Anton." he replied.

Anton picked up the PA mike.

"Your attention onegai! All hands not already on duty will assemble in the rec room stat. We have an important announcement to make. Arigato. That's all, folks. Chief Gustav out." said Anton.

Within five minutes the rec room was filled to capacity.

Kei had returned next door to the bridge after leaving Anton to deliver the news to the passengers and crew.

"Any problems, Han?" she asked.

"So far so good, kid. This sector seems to be pretty clear but I know it ain't gonna stay that way too much longer. Still a good thirty hours from home though." said Solo.

"Home? 'Shimougou' is still three weeks away from here, Han!" replied Kei.

"My home, Reds! I live on 'Alderaan'- remember?" answered Han.

"Touch, Han. I stand corrected." she replied.

"Hey, kiddo? Oro's this damned meeting all about that Willy was just yapping about over the noisemakers?" asked the ex-pirate.

"Just to tell everybody that when we reach your 'home' we are splitting up. I'll keep a skeleton crew aboard here but the rest of you guys are going on your own for a bit. I'll rendezvous with you later on." explained the vibrant redhead.

"And where are you going, Reds?" drawled Han Solo.

Kei looked him squarely in the aizu as she replied to him.

"To Terra, Han. I have to fire our sonic beam ion cannon into another rift in order to restore the universes's status quo. We've decided to lighten the 'Angel' since we'll only have fifteen minutes to outrun the shockwave blast radius and nai- you're going with the rest. I need your shuttle off the ship and you said that nobody pilots the 'Flying Falcon' but you. You can fly a few of our people out with you." answered Kei.

"If you're gonna be firing the 'God Gun', who's gonna fly this damned ship?" demanded Han.

"Gene is. Jim's his co-pilot and Molly's piloting the 'Star' for Gene. The rest of my crew is already set. You said yourself that Gen's a better pilot than you are, pirate.. Han, Leia needs you and I'd never forgive myself if I let anything happen to you, man! Besides- my little fleet needs all the protection it can get- Berringer's diehards are still out there somewhere. Noone else knows his way around the 'Aquarian Galaxy' better than you do, tomo watashi." said Kei.

"OK, kid! You win! I'll fly shotgun for your fleet but you be real careful, Reds. I don't want anything happening to my other best babe y'know." chuckled the ex-smuggler with a 'devil may care' grin.

"Better sit down and strap in, girl. Looks like this ride's gonna get a bit bumpy!" he added, yawing hard to starboard to avoid an asteroid the size of Terra's Alaska.

Kei did as she was told and strapped in. Soon the gentle buffeting of the solar winds, the rocking of the ship and the agonizingly monotonous litany of Han Solo's drawl (he was regaling the redhead with tales of his bravado and derring-do with the Rebel Alliance during their skirmishes against the Galactic Empire) combined to lull the young admiral to sleep. Han covered her with his flight jacket and concentrated on steering a path throgh the most trecherous stretch of 'Bison Fields'.

Meanwhile down in the rec room, Anton's latest news was being received with mixed emotions. Everyone of course realized the mission's importance but most of them felt that they should stay with their feisty 'fearless leader' and tackles the problems head-on-- together. After a few more arguements and shouting matches, Don Poporo had had e--nough!

"Quiet! Chief Gustav is not relaying Vice-Admiral O'Halloran's orders. He is relaying those of Galaxy Chief Gooley and TSC Garner. You will do as you are told or by Kami, you'll answer to me! Is that quite clear, folks? Good. Now- you all remember our little sidetrip to 'Gysymeo'? Well then- you'll ride the same shuttle or ship that you rode then. For our newcomers- squeeze yourselves in wherever you can find room. That's about it, tomos. Get your gear packed up and loaded. Be ready to move out when we give you the word. We'll be leaving as soon as we clear 'Bison Fields' in another day and a half. Keitarou Riff will now read out the list of the 'Angel' crew chosen to stay onboard here and assist the admiral with her mission." said Don.

When KR had finished reading out the new roster, there were grumblings, groans and complaints galore. Six levels above them, Kei slept on fitfully- blissfully unaware of the chaos she was indirectly causing.

"Hang on, folks! The ride's gonna become bumpy and noisy for awhile." came Han Solo's drawl over the PA system jolting them all back to the problem at hand. Suddenly--

"Brace for collision!" blared out Han's voice from the squawkboxes.

"Find something and hang the Fxxx onto it!" yelled Don Poporo, grabbing hold of the bartop.

"Oro the Hell are you doing to Auntie's ship, Solo!" trilled Keitarou angrily.

"Sorry kid but we're in a full blown hurricane! The solar winds are blowing at 1,500 kilos! We're headed directly into an asteroid the size of 'Tattooine' and the shields are down to just 6 strength! Is Starwind down there somewhere? I'm outta my depth! HELP!!" trilled the rebel leader.

"Where's Gene? Anybody know?" yelled KR.

"He's upstairs asleep. Yuri gave him something called 'Zaloron' to help him get to sleep." said Jim Hawking.

"How much did he take?" demanded Yuri.

"Four or five capsules- I think. Why?" replied Jim.

Yuri trilled Han. "Gene's out of it for at least twelve hours, Han. You'd better wake up the hothead." she trilled.

"OK, Duchess. Gotcha." trilled Han. "Hey! Admiral! Wake up! C'mon now, kid! Rise and shine! I can't hold this thing on course! Yo, Reds! Wake the Fxxx up and help me, Goddammitt!" yelled Han, shaking Kei and smacking her face to awaken the sleeping angel. He drew back for another slap his wrist was seized in a grip of titanium!

"You'd better have a damned good reason for smacking me around, pirate!" said the angry redhead.

"Er- the ship's gonna crash! We're being buffeted by 1,500 kilo winds! Shall I continue?" drawled Solo and Kei went white!

End of Chapter 132. Chapter 133 soon. Have a good weekend and Kami bless you all. Sayonara for now-K&K

Cont in Ch 133

Here's Ch 133-Pt 1-K&K

DISCLAIMER: OK Mikey, it's all yours! First, thank you to Mr. T. for the use of the Angels. Thanks to everyone else who is letting us use their creations. How was that, Yuri? Great! Oh yes it was, Kei! Well, we left you up in the air so let's get to Chapter 133 without further preamble:-

Chapter 133

'Clearing Out the Angel' or 'Blasting the Cosmos'

Kei took one agonizing glance at the vidscreens and seized the throttle. "Mugghi! Get your ass in here, Furball! Nammo! Find us a wormhole, a vortex, an anomaly, a short cut to Grandma's house- any Fxxxing thing stat! Solo! Where the Hell's Gene?" barked the redhead.

"Dead to the world, kiddo. He took five 'Zaloron' tablets!" yelled Han over the howling of the solar winds.

"Marlene! Get up here to the bridge stat! Make that double stat!" trilled Kei.

"On my way, Boss." replied the blonde navigator.

Kei yawed heavily to starboard and then to port. Marlene Angel leaped onto the bridge.

"Engineering- Decrease speed to Subwarp 8 and cut all impulse engines. Maximum power to shields. Mugghi- Fire all thrusters. Solo- Get on those plasma cannons and blast me a Fxxxing hole through that Kami shimatta thing! Engineering- I want Warp 30 on my mark. If you can hold at that for at least 40 seconds we should make it through the fields. Nammo- Any anomalies out there? A tachion crystal tunnel will do us quite nicely. Kei- Change course to Southwest on a bearing of 221.6 stat! Engineering- San, ni, ichi and rei- Mark. Punch it, Kei! Dead ahead on full power. Where? Through the hole that the pirate just made in that big asteroid! Steer for that shimmering light. Brace yourselves, folks! 27, 28, 29, 30-- and holding. Ten seconds, twenty seconds, thirty seconds, forty seconds, forty-five, forty-six, forty-seven and-- hit that tunnel! Engineering- Decrease speed to Subwarp three and hold it. Leaving tunnel and-- Welcome to 'Alderaan' everybody. We have arrived." announced Marlene while stripping off her sweat-soaked gloves.

"Arigato, kiddo." breathed Kei with an audible sigh of relief.

"Yeah- thanks a lot, Blondie." drawled Han Solo.

"Congratulations, Ensign! Superb piloting, ma'am!" trilled Donnatella.

"Should I go and get Khan now, Boss?" asked the blonde.

"Nai- we'll be handling all that stuff. You're piloting the 'Leo'. Good luck, tomo." replied Kei and picked up the PA mike and keyed it.

"Attention all hands! Pack up your gear and report to your ships. Pilots- Take off as soon as all of your passengers are aboard. Now don't be surprised if folks start disappearin' soon. So far the 'Sorcerer Hunters' and the 'Zodiac Knights' have gone home and more of you will hopefully follow them since the 'Kronos' repairs have now been completed. All that remains is my er our job. Flight crew- Report to the bridge stat. Other 'Angel' crewmen- to your posts. The sooner we dump Khan off and reach Terra the sooner we can put things to right and go the Fxxx home at last! Kome- You are docking officer so get to the bays and advise me when we're empty. Security team- Report to the brig and stand by to transfer Khan. Mar- Land the 'Angel' at co-ordinates XB12/RB17 on a SSW bearing of 612.8 before you take the 'Leo' home where we will join you just as soon as we can. Han- Take the 'Falcon' and whoever you can fit in her and go with the rest. Mugghi- Warm up a skysled and four skycycles. Let's hustle, my tomos!" said while Mar landed the ship deep inside the 'Dakota Forest' on the planet's surface. Then she and Han departed for the docking bays and their respective shuttles.

At 2200 Kome trilled Kei to report 'All Clear' after closing the airlocks behind the last straggler- the 'Coriander' of Captain Kiva Nerese.

Kei asked her co-pilot (Jim Hawking) to take charge of the security team and deliver Khan to the 'Starfleet Command' representatives on 'Alderaan' but he slowly began to shake his head.

"No can do, kid. Gene and I are still considered to be 'persona non gratis' (big trouble) here. Besides Admiral- As ranking officer and a 'real' cop, the honour is rightfully yours. In my opinion--" began Jim.

"OK OK. Call of your dogs, Jimbo! I'll go and you'll command the 'Angel' until I return. Run a complete diagnostics check. After that horrendous pounding we just took I want to be damned sure that this ship is A-OK! Mugghi and Nammo can help you and so will Kome. See you soon, tomo watashi." said the redhead.

"Lord Ivanhoe. Security detail to the brig on Level Five." trilled Kei.

Khan was soon trussed up for his trip to 'Alderaan' and Kei supervised his transfer to the skysled. Falco was seated beside him while 'Crybaby' John took the front passenger's seat and Kei slid into the driver's seat. 'Zanza', Yahiko, Sango and Inu Yasha each took a skycycle. 'Ivy' rode with 'Zanza', Kenshin with Yahiko, Sango's partner was Kagome and Kouga was with the hanyou. It was now 2230 hours.

By 2300 the small hazu had reached 'Anvari Pass' and had delivered Khan to Captain Toru Zulu who was in command of the 'USS Stargazer', a 'Starfleet Command' prison transport starship. By the time Kei had signed the last transfer documenrt the chromos were reading 0230. Captain Zulu saluted the admiral and inquired as to where she was heading.

"Gomen, Captain but that information is classified. However, may I wish you 'Kamispeed' on your mission, tomo m ine." she replied, saluting in turn.

"Good luck on your mission as well, ma'am and congratulations, Admiral. Ja mata and sayonara for now." said Zulu and he left.

By 0300 Kei and her ten teammates were back aboard the 'Angel'.

"Great job, guys. Now it's time to head for Terra. Jim- Change course to bearing 716.7 SSW on a yaw of 126 degrees fifteen minutes thirty seconds East by Southwest. Don- I want Warp twelve in thirty seconds. Zoe- Any shortcuts between here and Terra? Nai? OK then- We'll cruise at Warp twelve for a few more hours. Rally- Anything on the scanners? Nothing? Great! Continue scanning. Kome- Did the Chiefs contact 'Sontarra' about the 'Galaxy Express 999' being a tad late? Good. We'll stop over there for a few days on our way back. About ready, Don? Super! Energize and engage. We go forth to do oro no one has done before and may Kami be with us! Take us home, James." said Kei, sitting down in the co-pilot's seat. She turned to Jim Hawking.

Cont in Ch 133-Part 2