Thread: Dirty Pair Fanfiction

Hey guys and gals- If ya check out my newest profile post you'll find a list of anime programming on ComcastOnDemand as of today 17 Mar 09. I post this list twice monthly around the 1st and 15th of each month.

Happy Birthday Classic Yuri since tomorrow is her birthday (18 March). Her Flash twin's was the 3rd of March and Classic Kei's is 27 Nov while her Flash twin's falls on 1 Jan. What a way to welcome in the new year eh tomos watashi?

Don't miss HellGirl and Witchblade on IFC tonight at 2:30 AM ET. OnDemand IFC has replaced WB with Gunslinger Girl (Eps 1-2) which is about orphaned Italian girls who are made into cyborgs and then trained as assassins by the Social Welfare Agency the cover for Section Two of the government. Like a junior version of Ghost/Shell Section Nine.

Sci Fi's AniMondays (11 PM ET) now feature two old faves- a double eppy of Guren Lagann (BGR 'gunmen') followed by Rave Master (Haru Glory and Elie fight the ShadowGuards with the aid of HG's RaveSword powered by the Rave Cross and their hunt (a la IY and TWHE) for the 4 missing Rave Stones to power the blade itself! Elie's 'thundersticks' and submachine guns that resemble nightsticks and dish out chaos wherever she goes! Plue is well nobody seems to know exactly what Plue is but he's cute!

Saturday's CN/AS lineup looks like this now:

1 AM- Bleach (one Bount left)
1:30- 2:30 AM- Double eppy of Code Geass which just began its run anew)
No more Shin Chan Nohara- Sob!
2:30 AM- Fullmetal Alchemist (Hunt for Scar)
3 AM- Death Note (A shinigami death god will bite the dust soon)
3:30 AM- Ghost/Shell-SAC (Individual 11?)
4 AM- Cowboy Bebop (Cowboys, cowgirls, gambling, guns and booze)
4:30 AM- Big O (One of the first and best BGR animes ever!)
5-6 AM (InuYasha)(Early eppys. Later ones post Risen 7 on COD/CE/AS/Action)

Seems CN has dropped Naruto and the early evening anime films- sad but true.

Check out my blogs and profiles. More info at profile pages gang. Gotta go-K&K

Here's Ch 43- Part 1 of 3. Have a great read. Toodles-K&K

ANGEL WINGS

DISCLAIMER: OK Makoto Honey, it's all yours. First I wanna thank Mr T for the use of his Angels and stuff. Then I wanna thank everyone else who has been allowing us to use their creations here like Thom Beers for the use of his ice road truckers Hugh, Drew, Rick, Eric, Alex and Bear. I took the liberty of naming the 3WA academy in Furool City on Shimougou after Mr Haruka Takachiho in honour of his creations- the Angels. How was that, Yuri? Great, kiddo. Oh hai it sure was, Kei! Now since we left ya up in the air last time let's get to Ch 43 without any further meandering, shall we? Why is Zack Zero back and oro does he want with Suba Marina Oki? Can Mandy keep her big mouth shut? Does Zoe really know Kagome's 'Sit Boy!' command? A hint re the titles- Transfusions ain't always blood and this 'shadow' is helpful to the gang. Oro does this all mean? We'll find out momentarily gang. The Boss Red Marshall's on the warpath again! Here 'tis:-

CHAPTER 43

'Hyuga Transfusion' or 'Shadow In the Bays'

"OW! Shit!! Dammit wench! That 's' word should only work on me if Kagome says it! So how is it that you can do it too, bitch?" howled InuYasha.

"Just alchemy, Doggie Boy and watch your mouth, pal. I simply transmuted the deck under your feet into ice. Like Ed Elric our fullmetal alchemist I don't need to draw circles either. That was merely a warning. Leave my girls alone or else! Enjoy your lunch. See ya at 1400." said Zoe Morton who was a 12th level alchemist in her own right.

"I did try to warn you about her, InuYasha. I sensed her spiritual pressure while she was walking over here to us." said Rukia Kutschski the soul reaper.

"I didn't do nothin' to her kids, dammit all! He did!" yelped the hanyou who was pointing at Mordor.

"But I was polite, my tomo (friend) while you were not." explained Mordor the sorcerer. Zoe suddenly spun on her heels and did an about face.

"Oh that's right, Mr Mordor. It was you who made my little Mako cry, wasn't it? Freeze, sorcerer!" she cried and clapped a hand to the mage's shoulder. The amazed sorcerer found that he could not move a muscle!

"Don't do anything like that to Mako or any of my girls again, dammit! That paralysis spell should wear off by 1400. Didn't know I was a magess as well as an alchemist, did you? If I hear another peep outta anyone at this blasted table I will freeze the lot of you until the Boss's meeting. Now eat your lunches and shut the Fxxx up! Ja ne and ja mata (See you later. Zoe used both forms of address since the table was a mixed company of both men and women)." she added and then strolled back to her galley.

"Fingal! Can you break this blasted spell? Kikyo? Naraku? Sesshomaru? Miroku? Anybody?" asked Mordor through clenched teeth.

"Sorry old boy but since that spell of heres is alchemy and not magic we can do nothing." apologized Fingal the 'White Druid' who was Mordor's opposite number and a mage himself. Mordor scowled at him.

"She just told us she was a magess so it is magic, you old fool!" he yelled angrily. Ed and Al's alchemy teacher began to laugh.

"No mage, magess nor even a magician like Louie (the Rune Soldier) can perform alchemy, my dear Mr Mordor. And one alchemist can never break another alchemist's spell so I'm afraid you're just going to have to wait until it wears off you, me old boyo." chuckled Izumi.

"I am certainly glad that she is not mad at me, that I truly am." said Lord Falco. The knight captain of the royal guard felt a tug at his trouser cuff and glanced down.

"Is she gone yet, Falco?" demanded a squeaky voice coming from under the table.

"Yes, Your Highness. She has departed from us." replied the captain of the guard.

"Yeah so ya can c'mon out now, ya little crybaby." said the big inu hanyou. Prince John crawled out and back up onto his chair.

"Kouga! You naughty lil wolfie. Is that your paw on my leg?" giggled Ayame the wolf youkai maiden.

"Huh?" replied Kouga and both of his paws were around a huge mutton chop.

"So if it's not you then who--" began Ayame and Miroku the monk held up both hands.

"It sure ain't the pervert this time." said Sango the demon slayer girl.

"Then who the Hell is it?" cried Ayame and she jumped up as a huge green serpent slithered off her lap and onto the deck. Neji was walking past and picked it up. He grinned.

"Relax, Wolf Girl. It's only Orochimaru although how he got outta the galley and all the way over here is beyond me." he said and chucked the monstrous snake down athe nearest recycle chute.

Kakashi Sensei put down his little book and frowned at him. "Orochimaru? And you just let him go? Where does that damned thing come out?" he asked.

"Rally said the recycle generator unit on the main level just below this deck. Beside the docking bays." replied Rebecca. Kakashi was already long gone when Ichigo and Rukia 'flash stepped' downstairs to the bays. Kagome was up and racing for the lift.

"Security team to the main level docking bays stat! Orochimaru is trying to escape! That half masked Ninja freak and those two soul grabbers just took off after him. We'll meet ya down there. Kagome out." she trilled. "Let's go, gang! Get up InuYasha! C'mon Ivy!" she yelled back over her shoulder. Meanwhile one deck down beside the bays--

"Now ya gone and done it, girl! Everybody thinks that Orochimaru's loose! Why'd I let you talk me into this fiasco?" complained Neji Hyuga as he was pulling a grimy Ten Ten out of the recycle chute on the ship's main deck.

"That was fun, Neji! A simple substitution jutsu and they all fell for it, man! Seriously though- I did sense something strange down here a little while ago but now it seems to be gone. That's why I needed you. Use your 'Bayakugan Aizu (Eyes)' and tell me who or oro (what) is down here with us." said Ten Ten worriedly. A few minutes later after careful gazing Neji did notice a fom in the shadows. Nai (No), not 'in' the shadows. This thing seemed to be a part of the shadows!

"Kami (God) help us all, Ten Ten! It's a shadowy thing and it seems to be wedged between this time/space dimension and another one! The poor creature is trapped and it's oro's (what's) blocking our blasted continuum's portal! That's why we haven't been able to leave this place and time era! That's probably why none of the others have gone home either! Take the lift up to Surface Seven and get some of those 'pattern enhancer' column thingys! And tell the Boss Lady to get us some help down here pronto! Maybe we can beam this dude through or back or something. Tell those three time monkeys (the Doctors) that he says he is a 'Silurian' from 'Elzana Six' and his name is 'Geg' something. 'Geg Duraghan', yeah, that's it- 'Geg Duraghan'! Hurry up, Lovey! This portal is really crushing him! Go!" ordered Neji who was attempting to use his jutsu to to force the portal's energy away from Geg's slimy body. The 'thing' spoke in a guttural tone which was very faint. Neji had to strain to hear him.

"I am a scientist and I was certain I had found a stable method of travelling through the space/time continnum, young sir. However, when my body was about halfway through the portal it began to close and I became wedge in it- half of me in this space/time era and my other half in my own time era on my own world within my own dimension. Thank you for trying to assist me, boy. This pain is excruciating, young Neji Hyuga. I can see only shadows which is how you must view myself as well but I sense that you are a young male Ninja of the Hyuga Clan and that your name is Neji. Am I right, my lad?" asked the Silurian scientist and Neji nodded.

"Yes, you are quite correct, sir. Do not try to talk. Save your strength. Help is on the way, sir. Just hold on." replied the Ninja boy. Meanwhile Ten Ten had gone to Surface Nine not Surface Seven as Neji had instructed her. She had gone to the commander on the bridge.

"Exactly where did you say this guy is that you and Neji found, Ten Ten?" asked Marlene Angel and the Ninja girl fidgeted and began to toy with her 'kanai' (a stone dagger).

"The Brigadier asked you a question, girl! Answer her!" yelled Kome Sawaguchi.

"I-I don't really know, ma'am. I sensed a presence down there but only Neji can actually 'see' the dude. Hinata can too I guess since they're both of the 'Hyuga' clan. They're siblings so both of 'em got those 'Bayakugan Aizu' I mean eyes. That's an ability to see things that other people cannot see. Dammit, ma'am! Just grab some thingys called 'pattern enhancers' and follow me!" cried Ten Ten, stamping her foot on the deck.

"Neji said to bring a security team along too, ma'am." she added quietly.

"It will not work, my lad. You do realize that, do you not? (Neji didn't bother answering Geg) Sealing this portal of yours, young Neji, will not close up the rifts in your space/time continuum. To accomplish that feat, you must use 'anti matter." said Geg Duraghan who was writhing in pain and agony while the 'portal' continued to squeeze shut despite the young Ninja boy's attempts to create a stable 'chakra or chi energy field' around the Silurian scientist.

Finally Kouga and InuYasha led a security team into the corridor. Following Neji's instructions they began placing 'pattern enhancers' around an area of empty space.

"Ya sure he's got both oars in the water, Ten Ten? There ain't nothing there!" whispered Kome.

Cont in Ch 43- Part 2

Here is Ch 43- Pt 2 of 3. Enjoy. Toodles-K&K

"Neji has a special visionary power which enables him to see things and people in more than just one dimension, Suba. If Neji says there's something there, you can take it to the bank, ma'am." replied the Ninja tomboy.

"OK guys, that's just swell. Suba, have everything beamed up that is in that area of the hallway marked by the enhancer columns. Please hurry, Miss Sawaguchi because this guy is being crushed to death." said Neji exerting every bit of his 'Bayakugan' jutsu's chakra to force the dimensional portal back and away from Geg's body. Kome spoke clearly into the air.

"Nyssa? Kome here. Lock onto the triangulated area enclosed by the enhancers' coordinates down here on the main level and beam up everything in it. Do it now, girl! Energize!" trilled the strawberry blonde teenaged Subaltern and Poof! There was a blinding amber flash and then nothing as Neji Hyuga went to his knees and then passed out. Meanwhile in the beaming bays on Surface Seven--

"Yuck! Holy shit! Oro (What) a monster, man! I'm putting a Level Eight barrier up around this shimatta (damned) thing whether you like it or not, Suba! We got 'it' oro (what)ever the Hell 'it' is, ma'am! Get back up here stat! Nyssa out." trilled the Trakken girl sometimes navvie.

"On my way." trilled Kome.

"Send Donovan to the main level, Sector Alpha, Area Six stat!" trilled Sango who was giving CPR to Neji but he wasn't responding at all!

The double bobbed hairdo Ninja tomboy grabbed a PA mike and shouted into it. "Hinata? It's Ten Ten. Looks like your brother needs a chakra jolt so get your ass down here to the main level- fast!" trilled Ten Ten.

"I'll be right down, Ten Ten." trilled Hinata Hyuga who had just finished taking a shower. She threw on one of Yuri's old hotpants uniforms and sandals. Then she raced down four flights of gantryway stairs to her brother and pressed both hands flat on Neji's chest. Her aizu (eyes) glowed golden and brilliant white light flowed from her body into his!

"Oro (What) the Hell! Hey darlin'? Oro's (What's) she doing to him, kid?" drawled Han Solo.

"A chakra energy transfer, Captain Solo. It's sorta like a blood transfusion. Not just any Ninja can do it, however, the members of the 'Hyuga' clan are masters of the art. Watch. Neji'll be OK in a few more minutes, sir." whispered Ten Ten.

"Wowie! Get a load of that crazy getup Hinata's got on!" yelled Naruto and Kakashi Sensei cuffed him with his little book.

"Show some respect, kid. That 'getup' is an old style 3WA uniform. She does look cute in it though. Come to think of it now, I can't remember ever seeing Hinata in anything but pants. It sure makes for a nice change, I must admit." replied their Ninja master.

Soon Neji sat up and began laughing. "Where the Hell'd ya get those rags from, sis? You look ridiculous in that yellow diaper! Did ya borrow it from Auntie Faye?" chuckled Neji and his sister's face went red when she realized that she was showing off more skin than she usually did in this silly looking outfit. The 'Black Guardian' stepped forward and gallantly wrapped her in his voluminous night-black cloak.

"Arigatou (Thank you), sir." whispered Hinata and Neji glanced at the two Guardians.

"That Silurian guy said that sealing this portal will not work, sirs. He said we would have to use 'antimatter' to blow it shut for good. Do you know oro (what) Geg Duraghan meant by that?" he asked and White nodded.

"Yes we do, son. An 'antimatter' bomb must be detonated at the exact centre of this Universe at the exact same instant that all of these holes in the continuum are plugged up. Of course whoever detonates it had better not be closer than twelve lightyears to it when that bomb explodes." said Black.

My hubby (Vegeeta Brief) and Goku (Son) are both Saiyaans and can instantly--" began Bulma Brief.

"And our two 'soul reapers' can 'flash step' a hundred time faster, my dear but even that would be nowhere near fast enough." replied White shaking his head sadly.

"Looks like for once even that Amazon Hellcat can't muscle her way in and steal the show." said a grim-faced Yuri Donovan.

Suddenly Raven (the 'Teen Titan' not the 'ISSP' chief) snapped her fingers. "Of course! Wht not have Wally do it for us?" she suggested.

"Who is Wally?" asked Anton Gustav curiously.

"Why not have Wally do oro (what) for ya?" demanded a ginger-haired youth who had just appeared out of thin air- or so it seemed to them anyway!

"Detonate an 'antimatter' bomb and then get back here before it goes off." explained Ichigo Kurosaki, the substitute 'soul reaper'.

"Detonate it where exactly?" yawned the kid.

"At the very exact centre of this Universe, sir." said Rukia Kutschski, the real 'soul reaper' from the 'Seretai' of the 'Soul Society'.

"Piece o' cake, my lovely only where do we find some 'antimatter' around these parts, folks?" asked Raven's pal.

"The 'Mines of Moria' on 'Andvari Four' which is still another four days away from us." said Andre Gooley sadly.

"I can get it for ya and bring it back here in a few seconds, Pop but if I bring even a milligram of that stuff on this contraption we'll blow another hole in the Universe and us with it! Ya need a stable vacuum to contain it and the bomb's shell has to made outta 'antimatter' too, Gramps. So I can get this crap for ya, plant it and blow it only how do we make it safe enough to move?" asked the bored teenager.

"In a vacuum 'dilythium crystal' becomes very much like 'antimatter', my friends. Close enough for our purposes at least." said Doctor Two.

"So we build a zero room inside a vacuum and construct a dilythium box for the 'antimatter'. We can use a Holodeck chamber for a workshop after 'CC' pumps out itts atmosphere." added Doctor Four.

"According to the 'Galactic Compendium' the exact centre of this Universe is 8.7654 million trillion lightyears due West from us so how can this young lad here possibly hope to get there and back again int he blink of an aizu (eye)?" demanded a skeptical Doctor Six. Raven grinned.

"He's part of the 'Justice League', Doc. Wally's better known as the 'Flash' and that's because he's the fastest dude in the cosmos." she chuckled. Garner came to a decision and snapped his fingers.

"Blackfire, go to our fuel storage rooms and get a few kilos of dilythium crystals and take 'em up to the Doctors on Holodeck Eight. Gentlemen, Holodeck Chamber Seven will be yours to use just as soon as 'CC' pumps out the atmosphere. Better use the 'rebreathers' gents just to be on the safe side. You too, Blackfire. You three will build your zero room and construct this dilythium box for the 'antimatter'. When it's ready Wally will travel to the 'Mines of Moria' on 'Andvari 4' and procure (White held up three fingers) three kilos ("Grams!" corrected Black hastily) three grams of 'antimatter' and return here with them-- Nai (No) dammit he can't bring that stuff aboard, can he? I have it! Wally will wait outside the ship with it and trill us so Sawaguchi can beam it and him directly to the Holodeck chamber. Use pattern enhancers to cordon off the containment field for it, Doctors. Then you will construct a bomb which Wally will take to the coordinates that Suba Morton (Zoe) will give him where he will detonate the bomb and get the Hell back here post haste. Wait a sec. How many 'holes' do we have to plug up in the continuum? ("Four." was White's answer) Damn! (Oh don't worry about them, Charlie. We'll 'bung up' the holes for you." said Black) Well then, that's how we'll do it, folks. To your stations, my tomos (friends)." ordered the Territorial Sector Chief and the room emptied out quickly.

Five hours later the Doctors had completed the box so Wally took it and left for 'Andvari 4'. He returned almost immediately.

"Here's your 'antimatter', Docs." he said and tossed the box to them. Doctor Six caught it.

"Careful, boy! If that box's seals rupture we'll all be Angels dash it all!" yelped Doctor Two.

Cont in Ch 43- Part 3

Well a short one after all. Here's Ch 43- Pt 3 of 3. Enjoy. Toodles-K&K

Charles Garner exploded. "You were supposed to wait outside with that crap and the Suba would beam ya up here with it dammit! You could've nuked the blasted ship, Wally!" yelled an angry Garner.

"There was never any real danger of that ever happening, Chief. Wally brought that 'antimatter' block back here inside of a box composed of 'almost antimatter' and we triple strengthened the seals on it. We designed and built that box specifically for that magic block itself." chortled the grinning Doctor Four.

"And now we must erect an 'almost antimatter' casing around it and the bomb and rig it with a detonator. No fuse will be necessaryu since Wally will detonate the device and leave forthwith." said Doctor Two.

"Mr 'Flash' should remain here. When the bomb's ready we can give it to him and I will inform the Guardians. When Wally detonates it he'll trill us the single word 'done' at which time the Guardians will 'bung up' all the holes in the continuum's fabric." explained Doctor Six and at a nod from Garner, Wally sat down to wait.

Six long hours passed before he could finally leave with the bomb. "Done." he trilled a split nano-second before he reappeared on the Holodeck at the same time that the beaming Guardians strolled in.

"We have 'bunged up' all the holes we detected. Therefore the 'exodus' will commence in 24 solar hours so I advise you all to say your farewells while you still can. Now we really must dash. It has been a really cool scene, cats. Later." said the fastidious White.

"Give Reds our best, won't you? If any of you ever want to join me on the Dark Side I can be easily reached via my website at '.com' and my email address is--" said Black just as White struck the deck with his cane which caused both of them to vanish.

"Well the proof really is in the pudding like they say, folks. So all we can do now is until tomorrow and hope for the best eh? How's about a rousing game of cricket? One of my future regenerated selves (Doctor Five) will simply love that game." suggested Doctor Two.

"Cricket huh? I'd rather watch paint dry. It'd be a Helluva lot more fun than cricket." replied Gene Starwind.

"Golf anyone?" tried 'Jimbo' Hawking but there seemed to be no takers.

"Tennis? Duel Monsters? Vidgames? Stop me if anything appeals to anyone, gang." said Light (Kira) Yagami. Ryuuk grinned from ear to ear.

"There is always football, isn't there? Oh not the sissy British kind. The real thing like the Yanks' NFL or the Canucks' CFL. I could really get into that kind of a game, my tomos (friends)." said the leering Shinigami death god who was crunching on yet another apple.

"Yeah but this time no using any special powers, no magic, no alchemy tricks, no flash stepping, no more instantaneous transmissions, no flying and no more cheating dammit! My leg still hurts a little every now and then." complained Sango and she winced at the memory of that ill fated game on 'Kagura' when 'that big inu hanyou lug' (InuYasha) had broken her leg with a flying tackle takedown.

"Great! Only this time I'm gonna play so somebody else can be the Hawks' coach. Reds should just play this time around and let somebody else be the Killers' field general. Oro (What) do ya say, guys and gals? (Then Han Solo looked around the room) Where in the Sam Hell is our 'fearless leader' today anyway?" he drawled.

"Somebody lookin' for me?" growled the red-headed 'Demon of Dublin' from behind the ex-pirate.

"I just heard from 'CC' and Mugghi what's been going on so well done- all of ya but especially the 'Flash' here. (She clapped the kid on the back) Wally, we couldn't never have done this without ya, tomo watashi (very good friend). Hip, hip, hooray!" said the Boss and there was a rousing refrain of her cheer three more times for the Terran kid hero.

"I guess Whitey and his pal vamoosed before I showed up eh? (Yuri nodded) I er seem to have that effect on some folks. (Yuri grimaced) OK, what say we go back to 'Kalufrax' and wait? (A chorus of "Right on man!" greeted that suggestion) Mar? Make it so. After we're back on 'George' again I'm ordering everyone upstairs to Holodeck Chamber Four for a rematch between the Hawks and the Killers. Who's gonna coach us this time? I say 'Cat' (Rally Vincent) for my Killers. Han?" asked the redhead.

"I want Gene Starwind to coach my Hawks. Any objections to 'Cat' or Gene, gang? Nope? Rally? Gene? Will ya coach our teams? (Chicago 'cowgirl' and space rogue nodded and smiled) OK, let's start choosing up sides. The rest of ya can help out or just watch. Mae? Zoe? Leila? You three can rep up our uniforms and equipment. Sango is excused since she's still nursing that leg and--" drawled Solo.

"The Hell with that crap, pirate! I'm playing only not for your team this time. 'Cat'? Ya need a good wideout/linebacker?" asked the demon slayer girl and Rally clapped Sango on the back.

"Sango's our first player. I'm gonna have a snack in the rec room so any of ya that wanna play for the Killers that's where you'll find me." said Rally.

"Same goes for my Hawks, gang. I'll be holding court at the table beside Vincent's. If ya wanna be a Hawk we'll be glad to have ya. Both our teams are gonna be needin' water people, medics, equipment managers, ballhawks, cheerleaders, helpers and whatnot so don't be shy. Even if ya don't wanna play ya can still help us out. Fans are real important as well 'cause we need an audience, don't we?" added Gene.

"Our boys from 'Gallifrey' (the Doctors) are the officials and Doctor Two is the head referee. That means you got the final say, Doc. 'Cat'? Gene? You each get two coaches' challenges (red flags). Ya each get two more if the games goes into overtime. 'CC' is the official timekeeper and 'Artok' will be doing our scorekeeping for us. As soon as we got our teams picked and 'CC' and Artok have set up Holo Chamber Four and prepped it for play we will begin the rematch. Now let's all eat 'cause I'm starvin' to death!" chortled the Red Marshall Boss. Meanwhile back in the White Guardian's garden--

White was serving tea to Black when he suddenly remembered something quite awful.

"Dammit to Hell!" he swore and Black chuckled.

"Keep saying things like that and I will have you over on my Dark Side, my tomo (friend). (White sighed and sat down again) Oro's (What's) wrong, White?" asked Black.

"That heroic young boy- Master 'Flash'- entered a 'time corridor' to reach the centre of their Universe in time, did he not?" asked White.

"Of course he did, you silly old fool. So what?" demanded an impatient Black.

"He went 'forwards' in time, you idiot! So instead of a one day wait it will take two to fix that confounded Universe's continuum curtain and send those folks back home!" yelled White and he banged his cane on the ground. Suddenly the gardens shook like Godzilla was jumping up and down on the roof of the gazebo they were sitting in.

"So?" repeated Black while he sipped his tea and munched on his eclair.

"Sorry. I must have gotten carried away, old friend. We told those nice young people it would take 'one' solar day, however, if they do anything stupid like blasting off early to head for home or even 'Kalufrax' that continuum of theirs is so unstable that our 'bunging up' seals may very well be ruptured and could even open up those holes again! Then we'd have all this bloody crap to go through all over again dammit!" shouted White and Black grabbed his cane before he could use it again.

"Will you go and tell them or shall I?" asked a grinning Black.

"Us? Do you honestly think that that Amazonian hothead or those other kooks would believe either one of us after this? After all the times we have Fx- er I mean screwed things up, we'd be lucky if they didn't just toss us in the brig and throw away the vidkey codes!" said White.

"Then whom can we send? Everyone else is out on assignment to our myriad of alternate Universes except--" said Black.

"Mercury! Do we dare trust that womanizing lunatic moron again? Look what happened last time we used him- Universal Holocaust War 525! Absolute chaos!" yelled the White Guardian angrily.

END of Ch 43. Ch 44 'Message From the Garden' or 'Big Game Rematch' soon. Getting interesting eh? Wonder how our heroine's gonna get outta this one? Read on and r/r/s away as always. Have a wunnerful day and sfn/sys/jm/Kami bless you all for your interest and assistance. Hooble-toodle-doo! Toodles tomos watashi-K&K

I dickered over this chapter's titles. Let me know if I got 'em right eh?

PS- I really do appreciate all your loyalty and support over the years my tomos watashi all! And you can take that to the bank folks!-K&K

Cont in Ch 44

Here's Ch 44- Part 1 of 3 for ya. Enjoy. Toodles-K&KANGEL WINGS

DISCLAIMER: OK 'Cat' darlin', it's all yours. First I wanna thank Mr T for the use of his Angels and stuff. Then I wanna thank everyone else who has been allowing us to use their creations here like Thom Beers for the use of his ice road truckers Hugh, Drew, Rick, Eric, Alex and Bear. I took the liberty of naming the 3WA academy in Furool City on Shimougou after Mr Haruka Takachiho in honour of his creations- the Angels. How was that, Yuri? Great, kiddo. Oh hai it sure was, Kei! Now since we left ya up in the air last time let's get to Ch 44 without any further meandering, shall we? Why is Zack Zero back and oro does he want with Suba Marina Oki? Can Mandy keep her big mouth shut? A hint re the titles- Garden of the Guardians is from Doctor Who (Tom Baker's era) and if you have not read my Xmas with the DP ff you won't get The Big Game rematch too well. Oro does this all mean? We'll find out momentarily gang. The Boss Red Marshall's on the warpath again! Here 'tis:-

CHAPTER 44

'Message From the Garden' or 'Big Game Rematch'

"That was two billion years ago and it wasn't even their Universe. Besides- who else have we got? Acting Lord President Barusa won't let us anywhere near 'Gallifrey' after that infernal Shenron the 'Eternal Dragon' failed them and Lord Rathelon's gone back to his tomb again. Mercury is supposed to be a messenger, ain't he, dammit?" observed Black and slowly an angry White nodded in agreement.

"Mercury! Report to my garden at once! Hermes! Do you want me to tell zeus about you and Eos (the Dawn goddess)? Get your worthless spirit over here now- or else!" howled a very perturbed White Guardian.

There was a crash of thunder and a youth sprang out of a blinding lightning flash. He was dressed in robes and wore winged sandals on his feet. His head was encircled by a band of plain white gold. In one hand he held a staff of gold surmounted by a silver crest with two serpents entwined around it- the 'Caduceus'. In his other fist he carried a winged helmet of gold.

"What in Hades is so all fired important that I had to interrupt my beuty sleep, Pops? I am off duty this century, dammit all!" he complained.

"Watch your language, boy or you'll find your ass in my Dark Realm, sir!" warned Black.

"I do apologize for disturbin' ya, son but gods as well as guardians are always on call, laddie. Don't worry. This assignment is pretty easy so it shouldn't take you too long to complete it, kid. We just need you to deliver a message to a 23rd Century starship in this Universe's Aquarian Galaxy. The vessel is the 'Lovely Angel 2' and her captain is a stunning redhead. Just tell her that it will take two days instead of just one. She will know what you mean, White.

The lad was literally champing at the bit.

"In fact practically her whole crew is female, my boy." added Black.

"I will be most honoured to help you out, sirs! You can count on me, Gramps!" cried Mercury and he saluted them both.

"Before you leave, at least put on some pants, kiddo!" laughed Black.

Again the thunder crashed, white lightning flashed and the young god was gone.

"Halt! Who goes there?" demanded Revy Roberts, her twin 'Cutlass' automatics levelled at the intruder who had just materialized in the ebdroom she was using behind the ready room.

"Hi there, gorgeous. Would you care to come to Olympus to see my etchings?" winked a tall blonde teenaged boy wearing practically nothing. Flowing white robes, a winged golden helmet, winged sandals and a golden headband were the only garments he wore. He carried a staff and a shield and by his side hung a short sword like an ancient Terran Roman Tribune might carry. The boy was grinning ear to ear.

"I said identify yourself dammit! Who the Fxxx are ya and how did you get past the guards out in the corridors?" yelled an angry 'Creature from the Black Lagoon'. Revy was beat having just come off a double watch detail. She had collapsed on her bunk while still wearing her 3WA uniform and her battle armour.

"I would really and truly love to see what you've got underneath all that armour, cutey honey." he said and grabbed Revy's tunic jacket front and easily hoisted the Terran to her feet. Revy bristled.

"You just made one big mistake, dummy! Nobody touches Revy Roberts andgets away with it!" she seethed and launched a boot into his midsection. The next thing sh knew she had passed completely 'through' the stranger's body and crashed foot first into the bulkhead.

"What the Fxxx are you, a frigging 'yuyu' (ghost or spook)?" she demanded hopping on one foot while she was shaking the other which had suddenly gone numb. Mercury became enraged.

"I said show yourself to me, mortal female!" he roared and struck the deck with his 'Caduceus' causing a blinding flash of white light and Revy blinked. Something somehow seemed different now. When she glanced at her reflection in the highly polished bulkhead wall Revy snatched a sheet from the bed to cover herself. Everything she'd just been wearing had suddenly vanished including her underwear! Her guns were still in her fists so an wildcat emptied both clips into the tall youth and right through him into the wall, bunk, armoire, bureau, table, chairs and portals.

"Having fun, my child?" asked the boy amusedly and he sat in an armchair. Revy suddenly realized that this room must be soundproof or that much firepower would have emptied the bridge deck! She likewise retained her earring comlinks so she yelled for help.

"This is Suba Roberts! Security team to my quarters behind the ready room- stat! That's an order dammit! We got us another intruder and man, this one's a real weird-o!" she trilled.

"You cannot harm me with your puny weapons, woman! You cannot harm a god! Iam Mercury, Messenger of the gods! Are you the captain of this floating carcass contraption? Would you please like to bear my children, dear?" chortled the young messenger god.

Revy ignited her laser sword hilt and watched it cut through empty air when she slashed it across the kid's gut. Now she was reloading her two 'Cutlasses' and Mercury shook his blonde head.

"Those toys are useless against me, Madam so why reload them?" he asked curiously. Revy continued her task.

"Because without a healthy gat within easy reach I feel like I'm stark naked, pal! Hey! Wait a minute, boyo! I am stark naked, ain't I?" she cried. Revy yanked open her armoire and pulled out a fresh uniform and a pair of sneakers. She toosed them on the bunk and rifled through her bureau drawers for socks, brassiere, bikini briefs and a turtleneck which she added to her pile. Then she faced her unwelcome visitor with an air of defiance.

"A gentleman would leave the room or at the very least turn his back while a lady is dressing, sir. Well? Are you a young gentleman or just a spoiled little brat?" she demanded and sat down to pull on her socks.

Mercury drew himself up to his full height and bumped his head on the three meter high ceiling. "A god is always a gentleman, Madam Roberts. Reclothe thyself, woman. I will not watch thee." he said and faced the highly polished Kelvinite bulkhead where he would have had an excellent view of the hot Terran wildcat had both his aizu (eyes) not been tightly shut.

Finally Revy cinched her tie up another notch and reholstered her sidearms.

"OK, kiddo. I'm decent again." she said and the god resumed his seat in her armchair. He grinned up at Revy.

"Your security team is not coming, Madam Suba. I have cut off all communications within this vessel. However, I tire of these boring games. You are obviously not kawaii (lovely) enough to be the leader here and your hair is the hue of charcoal not fire. Please take me to your commander, my dear girl. I give you my Olympian word of honour that I will not remove your clothing without your permission. he said.

Revy frowned. "Fat chance that'll ever happen, Merc." she replied. "Why do you wanna see the Boss Lady, kid?" she added, her hand in her pocket where she was clutching a small lump of dilythium crystal alloy. Hell, this crap was almost the same as 'antimatter' and it just might work against this big lummox but the loon's next words made Revy realize that the crystal would be unnecessary.

"I have an important message for her from the Guardians in the garden, my dear sweet child." he replied quietly.

Revy Roberts knew damned well that the Boss was resting downstairs in her own quarters prior to the big game rematch up here at two and that she had left strict orders not to be disturbed for any reason but Hey! Don't fruitcakes who think thry're Fxxxing magical gods looking for some action who can strip ya bareass naked without coming anywhere near ya qualify as a legitimate reason for waking up Her Royal Highness, that damned pain-in-the-ass redhead?" thought Revy while she and the blonde kid were riding the lift down to Level Three.

"Yes, my love. I am certain that fruitcakes who think they are Fxxxing magical gods looking for some action would qualify as a legitimate reason for waking up that damned pain-in-the-ass redhead." he said startling Revy as she realized that he could read her mind like an open holonovel screen!

Cont in Ch 44- Part 2

Here's Ch 44- Part 2 of 3 for ya. Enjoy. Toodles-K&K

"Gomen, I apologize but kiddo are you really a god? Really and truly? Like in ancient Greek mythology and stuff? I read a book about 'em once when I was a kid in reform school." asked Revy Roberts.

"Yes I am. A real honest to God- god. You read a book about us eh? That would, of course have been before you became a hired assassin, correct?" he replied and Revy nodded as the lift doors parted and she led the way to a portal marked 'Captain's Quarters- Private' above a door control panel keypad and a klaxon push.

"Yeah? Whoozit and oro (what) the Hell do ya Fxxxing well want dammit?" growled Kei's sleepy voice when her door klaxon chimed repeatedly.

"Sorry Boss. It's me- Revy. Could I come in for a moment? Please? It is sorta important, ma'am." replied the Lagoon gal. The door swished aside just far enough for the bleary-aizued (eyed) redhead to peer around it at Revy and a tall handsome blonde teenaged boy beside her.

"Yeah? This had damned well better be good, Roberts! I ain't exactly dressed for company so I can't ask you and your new tomo (friend) i, girl. Oro (What) the Hell's this all about? I've got a game in less than an hour and-- Who the Hell is this jackass anyway?" she grumbled crossly. Kei was dog tired and it sure as Hell showed.

"Believe it or not, he's a god, Boss. Meet Mercury, the messenger god all the way from Mt Olympus. Those two Guardians sent him or so he says. He claims he's got a message for the captain and that's you, Boss. (Revy's voice dropped to a whisper. Hey Revy- if Merc can read your thoughts it don't matter how soft you speak) Watch your ass, Kei! He is magic! He managed to strip me to the skin from the other side of the room! Our weapons are useless against him so save your ammo. Just let him give ya his message and maybe he'll go the Hell back home, Reds!" said Revy.

"OK. Lemme grab a kimono. Just gimme a minute, Revy." growled the Boss and the door shut only to reopen a few seconds later. Kei waved them both inside while she was still belting her green kimono emblazoned with red ryuu (dragons) across its back. She waved them to seats, sat down on her sofa, put her bare feet up on her coffee table and ignited a cheroot.

"Ya got a message for me, bozo? Spill it, kid." she demanded and lit Revy's cigarette. Mercury had declined a smoke or a drink.

"You are the captain? Ha! Do not make me laugh! You are but a child and a female as well! You cannot be the captain! Come now, Madams. Enough is enough. Where is your captain?" cried the angry god.

"I am the captain, me boyo! See? Marshall Keirran Maureen Bridget Deirdre O'Shaughnessy O'Halloran, Commanding Officer, 'United Galactica Federation of Galaxies', 3WA, Patrol Starship 'Lovely Angel 2'. Satisfied, sonny?" she demanded while brandishing her 3WA holovid ID vidcard. Mercury read it over carefully and smiled.

"Mortals are truly foolish beings. Allowing such a young female to command an entire sky vessel is most stupid. Everyone knows that men are the true leaders." he replied haughtily.

"Yeah? Well I command two or three more of these 'sky vessels' as ya call 'em, me old boyo. I'm too tired to argue the point, dodobrain so just gimme your message and go." said the weary redhead.

"Very well, Madam Reds. I am to say that it will take two solar days instead of merely one. Gramps and Papa (White and Black Guardians) said you would know what it meant. Do you? (Kei nodded gravely) Then may I leave now?" yawned Mercury.

"Yes. Go. You are dismissed, tomo (friend) and arigatou (thank you)." said Kei abstractedly and with a bow to both girls he vanished in a lightning flash preceded by a deafening thunderclap.

"Mugghi? Have we lifted off 'Minerva' yet? Nai (No)? Good. Shut down the engines because we are staying right here. I'll explain why later. Don't forget to report to Holodeck Four at 1400 (2 PM). Kei out." trilled the Boss and Mugghi meowed OK.

"If we split now with a whole extra solar day to go our engines' backblasts could rupture those bubbleheads' continuum seals and start this shit up all over again. Wally must've gone forwards in time rather than backwards when he detonated that 'antimatter' bomb and then those fool Guardians miscalculated the time differential variances. Those 'time sights' could trigger trouble as well so tell 'Klink' and his pals there will be no more 'time sights' testing until we get back home. Those are my direct orders, Roberts and if he don't like it send him to see me. After that ya better get some sleep, kid. I'll tell ya all about the game tomorrow and arigatou (thank you) Revy. See ya later." said Kei shoving her out the door before flinging off her kimono and once again crashing onto her bunk.

Revy went to give 'Klink' and his scientific buddies Kei's latest orders and although the old curmudgeon grumbled a bit he finally did agree that maybe curtailing the 'time sight' experiments was the best policy and he told her he would immediately end all further testing until they got home. Revy thanked him and went up to her room again. She stripped, showered, dried and put on fresh undergarments before she went back to her bunk for some rest. Meanwhile back in the Garden of the Guardians Mercury had just returned.

"It was so funny, Grandpa, Papa! This stupid mortal female actually thought that she could harm me- a god! First she used some sort of projectile launching firearm and then she tried cutting me with a silly beam of light! Of course neither one even mussed up my hair, Gramps!" chortled the young god.

"I am not your grandfateher and he ain't your papa, boy so stop calling us by those names! I am Mr White and he is Mr Black darn it all!" yelled White and Black grinned.

"Apparently neither Revy nor Reds used an ionic energy weapon like an ion cannon, a disruptor gun, a plasma rifle or a plain old blaster on you, son. Ya ain't immune to that stuff ya know and they would've put a hurtin' on ya for sure, kid." Black observed amusedly but Mercury was definitely not amused at all.

"Well, I have delivered your message as instructed, sirs so I'm off to Olympus again. Bye." replied the god and he vanished in the same noisy and flashy style as he had just arrived.

"A surly youth to be sure. I really must tell Zeus about him. I should tell the old boy about the kid's manners, Black. More tea?" asked White.

"Or rather lack thereof eh? No more tea thanks. I must go, old friend. Bye." replied Black and he went back home. And back on the 'LA2'--

At 1345 hours or a quarter to two in the afternoon Kei keyed up her PA mike and announced that she had decided to postone the big rematch game until ashita (tomorrow) at 1000 hours or ten AM. However, she encouraged everyone to use Holodeck Chamber Four's football field for practice and then she told them why. One floor down in the galleys--

"I thought those two screwballs Fxxxed something up!" yelled Winry Rockabell who was helping to clear away the lunch dishes from the dining hall's tables while Ed Elric washed, brother Alphonse dried and Neko Olson stacked. Granny (Pinato Rockabell), Zoe (Morton), Leila and Trace (Edwards) were busily planning dinner on the other side of the galley.

"Winifred! Do I have to get out the soap again? Clean up your language, young lady or I will! Neko! Don't stack the plates that high! By the way, where's your comrade?" said Granny.

"Yes'm." sulked Winry. Neko started a new stack and began transferring plates from the first one.

"Sorry about that, Gran. Revy just got off a double duty watch detail an hour ago so she's probably upstairs asleep. Why?" called the shapeshifting nekomata human trill girl.

"Captain Starwind is looking for a defensive anchor to counter the Boss Lady on offense and he thinks Miss Roberts might be the ticket. What all of that palaver means is Greek to me, dearie but he did ask me to pass that word along to Miss Roberts. Izumi! Get Ichigo and Rukia to take those tablecloths and napkins up to the laundry room. We'll be needing them in time for dinner so tell them to have all the linen done by four this afternoon. Shush now everyone. I think the captain's going to say something over those talking boxes again." replied the Risenbool 'automail' expert from 'Amestris' whom everyone aboard thought of as their very own grandmother which was perfectly OK with Pinato.

"Well now! If that don't beat all! We're gonna be stuck here on 'Minerva' for two more days before we head for home. Aw, I guess we could use the extra day's practice time. Right Starwind?" drawled Han.

"Ya got that right, Solo. Ya wanna be a dual linebacker for us?" asked Gene.

"Suits me fine. Hey 'Cat'? How's your team roster comin' along? About done, kiddo?" called the ex-pirate.

"Just about, pirate. How about you, Gene?" asked Rally 'Cat' Vincent.

"We just need a kicker, love." answered Gene.

"How's about that tank gal- Leona Ozaki?" drawled Han. and Gene's face brightened.

"Hey Leona! Wanna be the Hawks' kicker?" he called and Leona looked up from where she and Raven were swabbing the decks of the immense dining hall.

"Only if I can be a defensive linebacker too, Cap!" she replied and went back to her mopping. Gene gave her the two thumbs up A-OK signal and she nodded.

Cont in Ch 44- Part 3

Here's Ch 44- Part 3 of 3. Enjoy. Toodles-K&K

'Cat' was pouting. She needed a quarterback but Kei wanted to be a receiver, Mar wanted to be a running back and Yuri wanted to be a tight end. Minnie Mae 'Kitten''Blonde Bomber' Hopkins wanted the job but the teenager was hopelessly inept. Mae was a speedster so 'Cat' already had her down as a running back with 'Dynamo' the Triceraton dinosaur thing as her lead blocker. Both sides had wanted 'Big Al' Elric but Izumi had told them that the 'knight' was too unstable to safely play football- after all he was the 'Philosopher's Stone' and the slightest jolt could cause more damage than the 'God Guns' could! Brother Edward agreed that Al should sit out the game so Al finally reluctantly said OK. Instead he bacame 'Cat's 'go-fer' guy.

Ed and Winry were her runback specialists and Kome was the Killers' kicker. Someone cleared their throat discreetly and Rally looked up from her lists.

"Miss Vincent? I played quarterback in high school if you think that an old codger like me could fit in on your team, ma'am." said Alex the Ice Roader. Rally looked over the 'Minister of the Ice Roads' and nodded.

"Yup, I can see that you can take a hit or two OK, Alex and Hell man you ain't that old, boyo. OK, you're the Killers' starting quarterback. 'Pretty Boy' Eric and 'Jimbo' Hawking will be your two backups. Bear's our medic and rick's his assistant. Drew's our equipment manager and Light Yagami's our water boy. Gene already grabbed Hugh the Polar Bear for the Hawks but we got the rest of ya. Clover and Mandy wanna be cheerleaders but Sammy and Alex are gonna be our tight ends. Fine. We'll see ya on Holodeck Four on Level Eight at 1430 hours I mean at hal past two this afternoon so please tell the rest of the Ice Road Brigade and thanks." said Coach 'Cat' Vincent and she kissed the older guy on his stubbled cheek.

"Thank you, ma'am and may the good Lord bless you, Miss Vincent. See ya then." replied Alex.

Starfire loved the new cheerleading outfit that that nice Father Miroku had picked out for the Hawks' cheerleaders. Raven did not but Raven did not complain over such trivial matters. Wally the 'Flash' zipped around helping out everyone on Gene's team who needed help. Since he could not promise that he would not use his special fleetfootedness powers during the game both Gene and Rally had refused to choose him for a player so instead Gene had made him the Hawks' 'go-fer' guy.

Big Spike Miroku (who once upon a time had been head of mall security at the 'Higurashi Mall' back home in 'Furool (Foo-Lon) City' on 'Shimougou') had once again been loaned to the 3WA albeit this time it was in his new capacity as security chief of 'KASP' the Kaguran Air and Space Patrol. He had made an excellent defensive linebacker in the first game (see Xmas with the Dirty Pair fanfiction for those details) and a great defensive captain to boot. At well over 175 kilos (A kilogram is equal to 2.2 pounds) he was a very impressive anchor and boy did 'Cat' ever need one so she sent Ninja boy Naruto to tell the big guy he was again on the Killers' team.

Ninjas Neji and Ten Ten were 'Cat's speedy cornerbacks and the two Saiyaans (Goku Son and Vegeeta Brief) made excellent safeties- Vegeeta at strong and Goku at free positions. Ryuuk, Light Yagami's Shinigami death god was chosen to be the Killers' mascot- Kira Rayne. Light told them that Kira was Japanese for killer and Ryuuk certainly looked like a kira, that he most certainly did! Rayne was a reference to an ancient Terran film vampire of the same name. Ryuuk grumbled at first. He really wanted to play but being unable to assure 'Cat' that he wouldn't simply disappear whenever he felt like it he reluctantly became their mascot instead.

On the other side of the coin Helena 'Hawkgirl' of the 'Justice League' flat out refused to be 'Helena the Hawk' because she wanted to play in the game so at 'Cat's offensive coordinator's (Captain Zack Zero) urging Suba Marina Oki was chosen as 'Henrietta the Hawk' while Helena became an offensive guard and a strong safety.

"That is it, Vincent. Leona's our kicker and Nat (Lt Naturle Edwards nee Badgiruel) is our starting quarterback with Sally Mimoru and Nami Richards backing her up. See ya at practice, kiddo." called Gene on his way to the lift.

"Yeah, Alex is our quarterback with 'Pretty Boy' Eric and 'Jimbo' Hawking to back him up, Cap. See ya up there at half past two, dude." replied 'Cat' who was drawing up plays she wanted to try out. Meanwhile back home Naomi Armitage was furious!

She was supposed to be on the next flight home to Mars to see her family but 'Uncle Vito (Galadriel) had cancelled all offworld flights until that damned 'Ark in Space' aka the 'Lovely Angel 2' returned in another week or two. Then Andy Gooley and Chuck Garner had dropped another bombshell on the hapless android robot girl. Naomi was to arrange living quarters for all of those 'Gaelic Goofballs' passengers and crew- again!

"Christ Almighty, Chuck! I could've sworn we'd just gotten rid of those pests or was I only dreaming that we did?" she thundered. Gooley and Garner spread their hands out and shrugged.

"Ya know I do have a life of my own, boyos and a family waiting for me on Mars!" yelped the enraged android crashing her fist onto her kitchenette's countertop for added emphasis.

"Yeah. We know that, Naomi and we are sorry that you can't get back to them yet but duty calls." apologized Gooley.

"Maybe Guy can bring the kid here--" suggested Garner and bit his tongue when he realized his mistake.

"How? Vito put the kibosh on all offword flights- both coming and going! Ka-Mi (God)! It just ain't Fxxxing fair, man! Every single time that those two Celtic lunatics go off on a mission I end up either here or on 'Alderaan' dammit! My kid and my husband ain't even gonna recognize me by the time I finally get to see 'em! Shit! (Naomi sighed) OK. I'll set things up with 'CC' and start booking accommodations but know this me boyos- come Hell or high water, in another fortnight (fifteen days) I am outta here even if I gotta use a solar jet pack! Ya got that?" yelled Naomi Armitage and she blanked her vidscreen angrily.

END of Ch 44. Ch 45 'We'll Leave the Lights On For You' or 'Team Rosters' soon. Getting interesting eh? Wonder how our heroine's gonna get outta this one? Read on and r/r/s away as always. Have a wunnerful day and sfn/sys/jm/Kami bless you all for your interest and assistance. Hooble-toodle-doo! Toodles tomos watashi-K&K

I dickered over this chapter's titles. Let me know if I got 'em right eh?

PS- I really do appreciate all your loyalty and support over the years my tomos watashi all! And you can take that to the bank folks!-K&K

Cont in Ch 45