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Thread: Dreamer

  1. #1
    Poultry Projectile Cannon Scourge is making a name for themselves Scourge is making a name for themselves Scourge's Avatar
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    Dreamer

    Ok this is a short story that has very deep meaning and symbolisms and a moral. I made this in my first year of college when I was oober depressed. It was in my Creative writing class and had to present this to the class and to my amazement it did very well and several people liked it so much they asked if it was alright to keep the copies I made for them, I said sure. So I hope it's as popular now as it was then. See if you can spot the symbolisms, the, meaning, and moral behind it, but most of all enjoy.



    DREAMER

    Two eyes. Two blue eyes like a clear sky in the summer’s afternoon, slowly open to a

    world of darkness like the dead of night with no moon or star to light ones way. Swirling

    around on the ground was a thick blanket of fog. Cold and wet as ice, sending chills

    throughout the girl’s body as the fog danced around her like a ghost mocking the living.


    The young girl of 17 pulls herself out of the fog of swimming and dancing ghosts.

    Her short hair of ice blue, heavy and damp felt as if the ghosts of the fog were trying to

    drag her back down to the earth. The young girl manages to get on her feet and tries to

    find anything that she can recognize. She saw a dark shape off to her left. She walks

    over to it and waves her hand through the fog to get a better look at the object. To her

    surprise, it was a tombstone with a name of once was a person who she did not know.

    The name was scratched over with something hard or sharp, as if they were to be

    forgotten from life as well as in death.


    The young girl lifts herself up and notices she is surrounded by tombstones, all of

    which was the same as the last, a person’s name she didn’t know scratched out to be

    forgotten throughout eternity. She also saw some trees which have lost all their leaves,

    she moves over to take a closer look. The trees bark was chard and burnt, and smelled of

    ash, one touch from her soft smooth finger turned that spot to dust. The trees themselves




    looked like hands of the dead, reaching through the earth to the sky as to ask the heavens

    to bring them back to the state of their former glory and beauty. Their plea went

    unanswered.


    The young girl with ice blue hair and blue eyes with her sleek and slender body was

    an angel amongst the former living, as if the dead themselves have asked her to watch

    over them, an agreement she did not remember she made. She sits upon a tombstone.

    The surprisingly the silence was comforting to the young girl, only broken by a gentle

    breeze that caused the trees to creek as they swayed. The young girl imagined to herself

    the trees were trying to talk to her, and the fog seemed to dance ever more so as to

    entertain her as well. She felt safe and relaxed despite being surrounded by the dead. The

    young girl looked out into the blackness. Suddenly the fog seemed to rise off the ground

    and swirl like tiny whirl pools into the tombstones. The fog returned to the ground. The

    moist earth seemed to come to life. Grass began to grow. The trees plea to the heavens

    for redemption seem to come at last, its old burnt body fell away, revealing it’s new

    refreshed skin leaves sprouted on them as well as some small flower buds that quickly

    bosomed. And the life giving warmth of the sun bathed everything in its light.


    The young girl saw this and was washed by the warmth of the sun and felt as if she

    was reborn. She closed her eyes and stretched out her arms as to soak in as much warmth

    of the life giving light as possible. When she opens her eye’s she finds her self staring at

    her ceiling. She no longer felt scared of being alone, and to accept the unacceptable. Her

    eyes and mind seemed to have a better understanding of life and the world.
    "MY DEAR... I GIVE YOU THE CAPELLAN CONFEDERATION"
    AND THUS THE WAR WAS STARTED NOT BY GUN SHOT BUT BY WEDDING BELLS

  2. #2
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: Dreamer

    WoW!!! great work!!! I really adore this story!! Your descrptions are wonderous and the plot is grand too. The work seems quite perfect to me. The only thing was that you sometimes turned from past tense to present tense.. that was kinda odd. But otherways... great work!!! I think I have a new "recommended" fanfic ^^

    Please write some more, I'll be looking forward to it ^^

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  3. #3
    Poultry Projectile Cannon Scourge is making a name for themselves Scourge is making a name for themselves Scourge's Avatar
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    Re: Dreamer

    Thank you very much. Just to let you know, the quick and sometimes immediate switch between past and present tense was in fact intentional and plays a roll in its self of the underlining emphasis of the story. I will take your advice and will creat more "DREAMER" short stories as I have a lot of fun making them, as well as it apears to be very popular, seing just how many views it had in such a short amount of time. Also, If any one would like to leave comments about the story and those to come when I get the chance to, please, by all means feel free to express your thought and feelings as that is what the DREAMER short stories are about. I look forward to reading them.
    "MY DEAR... I GIVE YOU THE CAPELLAN CONFEDERATION"
    AND THUS THE WAR WAS STARTED NOT BY GUN SHOT BUT BY WEDDING BELLS

  4. #4
    Child Of God Kiani Haki22 is off to a good start Kiani Haki22's Avatar
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    Re: Dreamer

    I like this story....I didn't expect that at the ending....really good wording too....I love it keep on writing you are a great writer.

  5. #5
    Newbie THE BEAST is off to a good start THE BEAST's Avatar
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    Re: Dreamer

    this is one of the best stories I read on here you're a great writer and you should hurry and create more of these short stories for more people to enjoy.And can I get permisson to copy and keep this?
    Don't mess with me unless your looking to die

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