+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 7 1 2 3 4 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 8 of 54

Thread: Hearts and an Emptied Revolver. (HER)

  1. #1
    Otaku Caixa 2006 Champion Corvus may be famous one day Corvus may be famous one day Corvus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Fogcity
    Posts
    303
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked 31 Times in 30 Posts

    Hearts and an Emptied Revolver. (HER)

    Hearts and an Emptied Revolver. (HER)

    It was a subtle day. The sun slowly dominated the horizon forcing sleep to yeild to that dreaded restlessness and eventually wakefulness. This wasn't a problem for Mikael Ashforth, as he'd been up all night anyways, thinking about an event which had forever changed his life. Not so much about the event itself but about the cost of that which was lost. For him, the rising sun was just another meaningless thing happening after an eventful night. Events full of meaning, heartache and change.

    Her name was Amber Greyheart. It fit her well enough; her dark hair was unique and wouldn't look even half so good on another face. Her eyes held a mysterious power that he couldn't resist and she was everything that he'd ever dreamed of in a girl. He was like an insect trapped in everything that was her. Everything that was beautiful about his life was her. Without her, his life wouldn't exist. She'd saved him in more ways then one. But now, it only hurt Mikael to think of her. She'd betrayed him, six times. Once with every shot.

    There he was, sitting in the middle of a lot, outside the corner store only three blocks from his house; staring at his dead body watching the the blue eyes glassing over, blonde hair turning red with blood; the pool, forming in intricate patterns, tracing the infinitely small contours of the grit, swallowing the space whole and bringing it into one entity; his life was pouring out of him and he was oddly amused by it, watching the events of his life taking place anew within it's crimson depths.

    It was a subtle day. Now, he recognized it as the day that would change his life. But then, Mikael Ashforth awoke later then usual. Today was his first day of highscool and he was anxious to see his new school, and his friends. He dressed quickly, pulled on his new highschool blazer and rushed out the door. He didn't want to be late.

    When he arrived at the designated area that was his bus stop he noticed that everyone was gone. He didn't want to be late and his greatest fear just came true: He'd missed the bus. He decided to start walking. He didn't want to be late and so, his pace became more brisk with each step until he was in a full out run. Over the bridge; across this set of train tracks; past the China-Food restraunt and under the great arch; a left here towards the north end of the town and cut across Mill's corner - named after an old shoe factory that used to be there; a right up the 32, 16, and 8 steps and to his surprise he was inside the school's main hallway. The hall was empty.

    Where is everyone? Mikael thought to himself. He looked around one more time and spotted a sign obtrusive to the hallway, it said: OFFICE. He started to rush for the sign then reminded himself that he was in a school and that everyone was probaly in class. Forcing himself to walk calmly he made it to the door and reached for the handle.

    When he opened the door he was greeted by an older lady with small rimmed glasses and face of aged annoyance from over-tolerated stress. Surprisingly, she smiled quite sincerely at him and said, "Hello, How can I help you?" Her internal voice had a lightness as if she were watching some lighthearted joke unfold before her and was only waiting for the punchline. But, she was grim on the outside, to say the least.

    "Umm... hi, I'm Mikael," he paused to think of something appropriate to say," What class am I supposed to be in?" He was already worried, thinking of 100 things that his teacher could do to him for being late. It was now 8:00.

    "Pardon me? What was your last name?" She had not meant for the two to run together in the way that they did. Nor did she mean for her own voice to sound so stern. She'd had that sensation of something being stuck in her throat -as all people sometimes get when they haven't talked for a while- which for some odd reason always manages to stay longer in the voices of the more venerable population.

    Mikael's reaction was one of trepidated fear, aftererall the highschool world was so foreign to him and his understanding of it right now was just small. Spitting out his full name and address as if it were some sort of shield against the secretary's annoyance with his triviality, he braced himself internally against the wrath that he expected would pour down on him.

    "Well Mikael Ashforth, you're early." she said looking over the rims of her glasses to get a better look at him. Something she'd done for years -because of a lifetime of farsightedness- without knowing it to be a modern intimidation tactic used by teachers on particularly troublesome students.

    Naturally confused -and trembling slightly- Mikael asked "Excuse me miss, what'd you say?"

    Still sounding more stern then she intended or even knew, " I said that you're early." she paused another unintentional yet effective intimidation tactic. "Classes aren't starting for another hour."
    "oh." and he left the office feeling relieved and stupid at the same time.

    Everything went black. He was back on the coner of Hudson and Nikol watching the red that'd poured from his body begin to harden and crack. Where was everyone? No angel of death, no ambulance not even the old man who always jogged this way every morning to stay in shape -maybe he was dead too.- Least of all, anyone who could announce or accept his death. Little did he know, he was early -for his own death. Looking around, there was a small sign obtrusive to the sky line, it said: OFFICE.

    <to be continued? You decide.>

    Please comment or this will be closed and you wont get to read the rest of the story...
    Last edited by Corvus; May 28, 2008 at 03:46 PM. Reason: final revision

    ... and join my rebellion against time.

  2. #2
    Child Of God Kiani Haki22 is off to a good start Kiani Haki22's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Saint Louis, MO
    Posts
    1,006
    Thanks
    96
    Thanked 23 Times in 22 Posts

    Re: Hearts and an Emptied Revolver. (HER)

    That was good.....I want more......no really, give me more......that was a great start for your story.

  3. #3
    Otaku Caixa 2006 Champion Corvus may be famous one day Corvus may be famous one day Corvus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Fogcity
    Posts
    303
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked 31 Times in 30 Posts

    Re: Hearts and an Emptied Revolver. (HER)

    I want to but If I'm going to post it here, I need at least one more comment befor the month is over or... I'll just PM the rest to you as you're the only one reading it...

    Gawsh I'm being difficult huh. =P

    ... and join my rebellion against time.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to Corvus For This Useful Post:

    Kiani Haki22 (May 30, 2008)

  5. #4
    Child Of God Kiani Haki22 is off to a good start Kiani Haki22's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Saint Louis, MO
    Posts
    1,006
    Thanks
    96
    Thanked 23 Times in 22 Posts

    Re: Hearts and an Emptied Revolver. (HER)

    no not really...i understand but hey at least if i cant read it on here i can read it in a pm.

  6. #5
    Otaku Caixa 2006 Champion Corvus may be famous one day Corvus may be famous one day Corvus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Fogcity
    Posts
    303
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked 31 Times in 30 Posts

    Re: Hearts and an Emptied Revolver. (HER)

    I'm still writing it here at my house for my own pleasure I just wasn't sure if there was anyone interested in sharing with me...

    ... and join my rebellion against time.

  7. #6
    Child Of God Kiani Haki22 is off to a good start Kiani Haki22's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Saint Louis, MO
    Posts
    1,006
    Thanks
    96
    Thanked 23 Times in 22 Posts

    Re: Hearts and an Emptied Revolver. (HER)

    Well I am...I am a big fan for good stories like yours...I love it.

  8. #7
    Mage of Eternity Joe Mage is making a name for themselves Joe Mage is making a name for themselves Joe Mage's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    In the end, it doesn' really matter.
    Posts
    907
    Thanks
    26
    Thanked 47 Times in 44 Posts

    Re: Hearts and an Emptied Revolver. (HER)

    I'm impressed, Corvis. I like how u played the story together, although u moved from the scene of his death ta the school w/o givin' any indication that u were doin' so and if I hadn' been payin' careful attention, I would've been confused. Other than that, it was an excellent story. I'm lookin' forward ta more.

    Sanity doesn't exist, it's just an excuse cooked up by crazy people to justify their actions. My myspace page: www.myspace.com/joemage

  9. #8
    Otaku Caixa 2006 Champion Corvus may be famous one day Corvus may be famous one day Corvus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Fogcity
    Posts
    303
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked 31 Times in 30 Posts

    Re: Hearts and an Emptied Revolver. (HER)

    Thank you for the comment Joe Mage.
    I'm sorry that this got fuddled up. I meant for the '...seeing his life taking place anew within its crimson depths.' to be an indication of a flash back. That's precisely what the school scene is, A flash back.

    If you're referring to the 'OFFICE' in the sky, then that's not related to the school at all. Well, at least not directly.

    Just so you know, I plan on continuing the story if there's enough interest. So out of respect, please don't refer to my story as if it's in the past, I'd very much like to keep it alive ^^

    P.S. It's Corvus. (greek or latin for the annoying black birds of prophecy)

    ... and join my rebellion against time.

+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 7 1 2 3 4 ... LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Two hearts One Beat
    By BlueFox1 in forum Poems
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: May 23, 2008, 11:16 PM
  2. Kingdom Hearts 2
    By mechataku in forum Spoiler Talk
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: Feb 19, 2008, 04:42 PM
  3. hearts of hearts
    By chrystalann2004 in forum Poems
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: Oct 23, 2007, 05:52 AM
  4. Kingdom Hearts
    By sasukesgirl in forum Sensory Pleasures
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: Oct 01, 2007, 09:29 PM
  5. broken hearts
    By anime_8000 in forum The Chat Forum
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: Jul 03, 2006, 08:56 AM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts