Sounds like a good fantasy series. I can tell you've been working on this.
Keep bringing chapters out and I'll read em.
This is a very fictitious story that I have been writing and editing for about a year. I am open to any comment, good or bad, on this story. It might take me a little while to get it all, some chapters are long. So please tell me what you think, I don’t know if it is any good. But I would like to find out everyone’s opinion.
~Quick Review~In a magical land known as Kalderim, evil forces are on the move, destroying anything in their lust for power. Alber, the holy city has fallen, Kaele, the ranger stronghold, is under constant attack, standing as the primary defense against the orcish and goblin forces. Not only are the humans and elves in peril, everyone living being who the dark lord sees as a potential threat is destroyed. An unlikely party of a human paladin, human ranger, and elf druid are Kalderim's only hope.
~Prologue~On a distant continent named Kalderim, a young man named Leon is the sole survivor of the great city of light, Alber. The once great city is now a pile of rubble due to the orc and goblin forces ravaging all the cities and towns that stand against them. Leon now travels the continent, devoted to destroying the evil force who robbed him of his home and family.
In Kaele, the ranger stronghold, a young ranger named Kiger witnesses some the most horrific fighting Kalderim has ever seen. With the never ending orc and goblin forces charging and slaughtering his family and friends he fights on, with his brothers-in-arms and kills the evil army by the hundreds. But no matter how many Kiger and the others seem to kill, the siege never seems to pause.
In the elven city of Kelethan, a very young elven woman named Star is living her life in peace. While her home is deep in the center of the Elweylan Forest which is far to the east from the evil army, even the evil presence seems to reach her there. Star still lives her life normally as do the rest of the elves, training, crafting, trading, and just plain living. Star disliked her life there, she always wanted to be an adventurer, and she knew nothing could stop her.
None of them knew what horrid and great evil they were to face ahead. None of them knew what adventure was in their future.
Sounds like a good fantasy series. I can tell you've been working on this.
Keep bringing chapters out and I'll read em.
!Stormwolf (Dec 19, 2008)
Leon was walking down an old dirt road with a lot of random tracks. He thought about how hard the bandits and other evil creatures would have trouble tracking him. He feared the possibility of losing his prized family ring. The only item that reminded him about his family and the values he grew up knowing. With his home destroyed, he has become more isolated and colder. He wants only to find his brother, Crenten. He searched the entire city for his brother, but found no sign of him, dead or alive.
He started to head off the road and stepped on a rock, realizing he wasn’t paying attention to his surroundings. He walked back to the middle of the road and walked to the east again. As he passed a small bush he heard the leaves rustle. He turned and stared at it. He drew is short sword and readied it at his side. All of a sudden a small goblin jumped out of the bush with a crude stone knife and lunged at Leon. Leon jumped back and parried the lunge. The goblin jumped back and ran about fifteen feet away then faced Leon again. Leon put the sword arm in front of him slanted a little and his other arm hovering in front of his chest, his hand open ready to help him defend against the next attack. He spread his legs about shoulder width apart and bent his knees so he could avoid the goblin easily. As he moved his muscles bulged and his leather armor stretched. As he waited he heard a twig snap behind him. A goblin lunged from behind yelling a battle cry. Leon sidestepped it and slashed his sword down as hard as he could, decapitating the goblin and continuing through the goblin into a rock, breaking it in two. The first goblin screams and charging. Leon jumps to the side and rolls. He jumps back onto his feet and lunges at the goblin, impaling him in the throat with his sword. He then push his sword down to the goblins groin and cut all the way through. The goblins limp body fell to the side.
Leon noticed his sword looked different. He pulled it up near his face and examined it. The short sword has a large crack in the blade. ‘Damn’ He thought to himself. ‘Why did I have to break my sword now.’ He started to head back down the dirt road again, sword in its proper sheath.
As Leon continued down the old dirt road, on constant alert after the goblin attack, he saw a big pine tree that had a needle skirt that concealed everything inside. He pulled his sword out of the sheath and used it to part the branched making a hole in the back of the skirt, away from the road, large enough for him to fit through. He looked up at the sky, the sun was starting to set, forcing the sky to be multi-colored. The sun looked like a big red ruby in the sky, out of reach of any man. Leon decided he should enter the pine tree and stay there for the night. He then enter the tall pine tree, amazed that there was so much room that he could stand up and probably fit an entire family in the tree.
He looked up and saw a small hole in the top of the pine tree and decided if he could get a fire going he would be able to be warm, knowing winter was coming soon he decided he need to stay warm anyway. The nights were getting colder and the wind was bringing on the chills of winter. He gathered the smaller pieces of fallen timber and piled it up into a fire pit. Once the fire is started Leon Drifts slowing into a light slumber.
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He awoke when he thought he heard something. He lay still, waiting for whatever the sounds source to make another sound again. When he heard another twig snap he realized the source of the sound was at his feet. He turned onto his back and rolled backward onto his feet. He pulled his sword free and pointed it at his intruder. He then realized the intruder was no human, orc, or goblin. It was a young dragon. The dragon was about as tall as he is, and about as wide as two or three of him. Then to Leon’s amazement, the dragon smoke in a clear distinctive tone filled with fear and courage, “Why are you here?”
Leon was so astonished he couldn’t think of what to say. How would he explain why he entered the dragon’s domain? How would the dragon understand the needs of a human?
Again the young dragon spoke, “Why are you here? This is my home. Why have you intruded into my home?”
“I did not know you lived in here, it does not seem to be a place a dragon would live.”
“That is for the very reason I live here human.”
“Well…Dragon, would you mind if I stayed the night in here?”
“As long as you do not harm me or disturb me in anyway, I do not care. And I do have a name human” the dragon huffed. “It is Canith.”
“Well, nice to meet you noble dragon, my name is Leon.”
The dragon then walked into the firelight and its golden brown scales glittered as the firelight danced about the inside of the large pine tree. Its large talons were and ivory white and perfectly polished. The dragon had large spines sticking out of the spine from the neck down to the tail which were also ivory white. Its red eyes examined him intensely. The dragon then said, “Hello Leon. You seem like an ok human. I know this may sound a little weird, but…would you mind if I joined you were ever you are going?”
Leon was shocked by the question. He decided having a dragon as a companion might be a handy thing, so he answered the only logical answer he could think of. “Yes, I think you would make a great companion. Been awhile since I’ve had a friend.”
Canith clearly smiled and then said, “Well, I am going to take a nap. If you wake before I do just wake me up when you are ready to leave.”
“OK, Canith.” With that, Leon laid back down and went to sleep, happy he now had a companion.
It's a good story so far. I really like it and can't wait for more. One thing, though, I don't think the dragon, Canith, should have joined that quickly. But that's my own opinion. Keep on writing!! ^^
'This world is trash. Cursed by the Fon Master...'
The story is wonderful, guys. Keep it up! Waiting for more.
“LOOKOUT!” a man shouted as the giant flaming boulder old stone watchtower. As Kiger watched from below, the flaming boulder destroyed the watch tower and continued through onto his old house.
“DAMN IT!” Kiger yelled. He turned to his three lieutenants and barked his orders. “Berlyn, Austen, Merlar, run to the front line, tell commander Herlon that we lost the western watch tower and the trade market part of Kaele is about to fall! We can’t take this abuse over here. I need to know if we are to fall back or if he will send reinforcements.”
“Yes sir!” They three said in unison.
An orc yelled a battle cry as it charged at Kiger’s position. Kiger smoothly picked up his bow, knocked an arrow onto the bowstring, aimed down at the orc’s throat and released the arrow. The arrow was true to its aim and hit the orc in its throat. The orc’s body flailed backwards from the arrow’s impact and hit the ground with an immense force.
“Tell commander Herlon now!” Kiger yelled once again.
“Yes sir!” the three said again
Kiger turned to the western gate only to witness his entire army being slaughtered and repelled by the never ending orcish onslaught. Everyone he knew was fighting their hardest to protect the city that was protecting mankind and elf kind alike. Why should they protect the elves that refuse to partake in the war with the evil forces?
Just then a beast the likes he had never seen before destroyed the wall to the left of him. The beast was at least six men tall and nine men wide. Its giant muscles bulged with beastly strength that Kiger never thought would be possible. It had no hair on its body and the scar all over must have meant the orcs tortured it to submission. It picked up the boulder the catapult had recently fired to destroy the watchtower and hurled it at Kiger. Kiger started to move backwards, judging where the boulder was going to go. He decided that if he moved at the right time the boulder would miss. He waited, and waited, and waited. Then, when the boulder got to him he jumped to the side into a roll and rolled out of its way.
He then took up his bow and grabbed three arrows and loaded them simultaneously, aiming them at the beast deformed orcish looking head. He released the arrows and two of them hit the beast in the head, while the third one missed and hit a goblin in the chest in front of one of the other rangers. The beast stumbled back a bit then charged Kiger’s position. Kiger knocked and fired arrow after arrow, shooting a steady line of arrows into the beast’s head and chest. The beast would not stop. Kiger began to panic; he had never seen an enemy who could withstand such a barrage of arrows. ‘The beast must have at least thirty arrows in him just from me alone’ Kiger thought. There is no way it should still be charging at him. The beast closed the distance between them quickly.
The beast lowered his shoulder to and arm to ram into Kiger. In a moment Kiger would die, but just them something pushed him out of the way. It was his father. Kiger’s father fell on top of him and the beast ran by into the other stone watchtower that was behind Kiger. The beast fell over and the tower collapsed onto it. Kiger’s father stood up and grabbed Kiger’s arm, pulling him onto his feet.
“Are you ok son?” Kiger’s father asked
“Ya. I’m alright. What about you? What was that thing? Why didn’t my arrows kill it?” Kiger said dumbfounded.
“You still ask too many questions. Listen, I need you to retreat from here. Go to the neighboring towns and cities, try to get to Ger’defe, and convince them to help our cause. Ask them to send their warriors, anyone they can spare, to help us fight these beasts. We need anyone you can get. While you’re out you might need to find a few companions. You know that parties are a lot safer than being by yourself. I know this trip will be hard, but I need you to do this. We all need you to do this.”
“But…Father, I can fight. Please, get a messenger to do this. I want to stay and help my people fight. I cannot flee in a time like this.”
“You must. Do it. I am ordering you as a superior officer, AND, as your father.”
“Don’t do that. Don’t force me to leave the battlefield.”
“I’m sorry, but I am. Go now! Go get help and we might be able to beat the vile forces who threaten us all.”
A lone tear ran down Kiger’s cheek. He was being forced to retreat his homeland for the time being. He would look like a coward, but he decided that if that is what his people needed of him, then that is what he would do. He put his hand, curled up into a fist, onto his chest and bowed, saluting his father. As his father returned the salute he ran off to the barracks and gathered his belongings and supplies.
Once he made sure everything was secure, he decided that since the village was being assaulted, it would be safer to use the hidden escape tunnel to get out. It would lead to the forest that would take him right to the path to Thael, the great trade city. That would be the first city he would go to on his way to Ger’defe.
He opened the old wooden hatch and jumped down into the darkness. He grabbed one of the few torches that people lit to make sure the tunnel was still accessible and started to run down the path.
As Kiger ran down the dirt tunnel, constantly running through spider webs and kicking rocks and piles of dirt everywhere, he started planning his route. First he would head to Thael. Then, he could try Kelethan. No, he wouldn’t go to Kelethan, the elves wouldn’t hear out his request. He would head to the southeast and into Berlynar. Then, he should head more northeast till he reach Ardent Mountains and go to Stormshire Hold. Stormshire would surely help Kaele. After that he just had to head north to Ger’defe. Then he could just head west back to Kaele from there. It should only take about two weeks at his pace if he didn’t get caught up in anything. Kaele has enough provisions to last another two months. He decided that is the path he should take.
When he reached the end of the tunnel, after running for what seemed like all day, he sat down and caught his breath. After a little while he stood back up, and started hiking his way to Thael.