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Thread: Novel Preview (Wild Eyes)

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    Otaku Stickicide 2 Champion starfire1036 is making a name for themselves starfire1036 is making a name for themselves starfire1036's Avatar
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    Novel Preview (Wild Eyes)

    My question is: Do you want to read more? If more than five of you have said yes then I shall post the next two paragraphs to see if this is something you would feel like reading in the future. Thank you.


    Chapter One

    I walk forward with my heart beating in sync with every footstep. The leaves on the trees around me rustle in the slight wind that brushes across my face. As I step to the beating of my heart, further I drift into the woods that surround me. By now, you are wondering who I am. My name is Erin, Erin Evans. I am a seventeen year old girl in the eleventh grade class of Betran High school.

    For what seems to be hours, I walk still, not knowing where I am headed. Why am I walking where I am walking you must be wondering by now. My feet seem to have a direct link to my heart. Where ever it wishes to be, I seem to end up. I will tell you now that today is not an ordinary day for me. Unexplainable things are awaiting me. This happens to be where our story begins.

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    Banned beast may be famous one day beast may be famous one day beast's Avatar
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    Re: Novel Preview (Wild Eyes)

    It is certainly well written and yes I would like just a little more please.

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    Otaku Stickicide 2 Champion starfire1036 is making a name for themselves starfire1036 is making a name for themselves starfire1036's Avatar
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    Re: Novel Preview (Wild Eyes)

     click to show spoiler

    Where here is what I have so far beast. I have been trying to find someone who could help me revise and also give me new ideas and add to what I have now. I suggest to Chelsea about helping me but I will have to wait until I actually get to Michigan to do so. Anyway, here it is. It is within the spoiler so click and read.
    Last edited by starfire1036; Apr 26, 2010 at 07:48 AM.

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    Re: Novel Preview (Wild Eyes)

    There is a few typos but it is interesting so far. I wonder what direction you will go in. So you will be coming to .Michigan huh?

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    Otaku Stickicide 2 Champion starfire1036 is making a name for themselves starfire1036 is making a name for themselves starfire1036's Avatar
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    Re: Novel Preview (Wild Eyes)

    now i checked it on the microsoft word spelling check. it said there was nothing wrong. so can you maybe point out what they are?

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    Re: Novel Preview (Wild Eyes)

    Quote Originally Posted by starfire1036 View Post
    I hung up the phone watched them examine her. The police officer, who had arrived with the paramedics, handed me a notebook and had me write down ever thing that happened.
    You probably meant " I hung up the phone, and watched them examine her". The other way seems strange. The other sentence and this is the last paragraph as well is the word "ever". In the sentence "The police officer, who had arrived with the paramedics, handed me a notebook and had me write down ever thing that happened. ". I suggest changing it to "everything". A single word and a "Y" in the "every.". But the writing was excellent.

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    Re: Novel Preview (Wild Eyes)

    Haha honest mistakes. i read over it but since i wrote it i knew what it was supposed to say. so i mis read haha

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    Re: Novel Preview (Wild Eyes)

    Happens to all of us. Ray Bradbury used to put a book away for a year after he wrote a book. He said it was impossible to edit with the euphoria of creation and you always have much to be euphoric about.

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