Thread: Open Your Eyes

ahh... tel me more abt the blondie~!! xD jk ^^

Hmm..sounds like an interesting story.. can't wait for u to post em in ^^ be reading em like loyal fan.. XD

Oh Lasura i love you stories!!!hope you write more!!!I always look for any story you write!!!

Why Thank You Ray ^^ That's really nice of you! I'm glad you like this and hope you enjoy reading ^^ I'll try my best (as always)

I will tell more about the blondie... She's one of the main characters after all...

And Thank You Renn sooo much!!!!!!! ^^ I'm glad you like these, I really am!!! It means the world for me! Next chapter will be tomorrow ^^

You posted this more than a week ago, and I didn't notice. Open your eyes, Dandoria. (Haha...)
Anyway, your style is improving! The first paragraph is a very pleasant introduction, and I appreciate the details you add (such as tea freezing) - it's a way of writing I handle myself (and that means I can't think of any better way at the moment). I automatically wonder what the cards are saying; you've made me curious. That, as well, is a compliment.
A little piece of advice from a friend: look for synonyms. A text becomes even more beautiful if you vary the choice of words. You did use "cards" nine times... and that can be helped. Fortunate for you and me.

Why thank you Dandoria for your comment ^^
I'm glad you like it... I hope you like it in the play form too- less descriptions but I try to describe every movement of the characters- and what is our imagination made for?

And a synonym to "cards"? Sheesh... that's hard. I'll try... or at least use it less...

Oh and the cards are just to tell more in forward (if you have a translation book), u'll see all the chapters or scenes are named by the cards and I'll expalin each card at the end of the chapter.

Ok, now here's the next chapter:
1st act: The Queen of Cups

Angela: Where have you been darling? I haven’t seen you since last Friday!
Sarah: Sorry, I… I have been busy lately, with all the moving and school stuff...
Angela: Come on! You live downstairs from us, you could come up in the evenings!I don’t understand- you didn’t have problems with that when you lived in the other side of the city!
Sarah: (blushing and looking sideways at Henry) I just thought you two would rather spend the evenings together…
Angela: So you thought you would be like the third wheel? (Sarah nods, her cheeks now are of equal color as her red scarf) Aww… you won’t bother us… Listen, how about an ice cream party this evening like in the old times? (laughing) That is- a week before.
Sarah: I don’t know…
Angela: Come on! It will be fun (poking Henry with her elbow) Right, Henry? Tell her!
Henry: (like just awoken from a dream) Yea, Sarah… I really miss you… You must save me from this girl! She has made me watch some kind of soap- operas all this time!
Angela: (tickling Henry a bit, making him but to smile) Henry! Stop that! We watched your stupid “Kingdom” just yesterday!
Sarah: (laughing) Ok, you’ve convinced me, lets make a movie evening today…
Angela: Great, then lets drink these things and go shopping!
Henry: Not shopping again!

In the evening. A small flat. Living room, with a large couch, two arm chairs, settled around a small wooden table in front of a TV, joined with the kitchen (it is only divided from the living room by an elevation), you can see a little hallway with two three doors- two to bedrooms and one to a bathroom. Henry is sitting on the couch, Sarah is sitting on one of the armchairs while Angela is in the kitchen.
Angela: Who had the caramel ice cream?
Sarah: Mine!
Angela: (moving towards the couch with three large ice cream packs) Ok, I had chocolate ice cream and that leaves Henry with vanilla.
Henry: What?! You know I hate vanilla!
Angela: (hands Sarah and Henry their ice creams) That’s what you get when you don’t come shopping with me!
Henry: (unwillingly accepting the ice cream) You always have to have it your way, don’t you?
Sarah: (hading Henry her ice cream) You can have mine, I’m fine with vanilla.
Henry: (thinks a bit then changes ice creams) Thank You.
Angela: Ahh! Sarah! How could you spoil my evil plan! (laughs)

The room turns into silence as the movie starts. The movie is “Elizabeth” it’s quite interesting for all of them, but still Henry and Angela manage to forget themselves and soon are kissing passionately. After a while Sarah leaves the room quietly.


After a few days. The stairway, stairs leading up and sown, four rooms on each resting place of the stairs. Sarah, struggling with her doors on the second floor. Suddenly, on the fourth floor in the back, Henry appears, getting out of his doors in haste.

Angela: (shouting from the flat angrily) Where are you going!?
Henry: (calmly) I’ll come back when you’ve calmed down a bit… You’re talking nonsense again, how long do you think I can stand your nagging?
Angela: (her voice is now more sorrowful) You’re heartless…
Henry: So now I’m heartless?! (is about to go in but then his eyes meet Sarah’s eyes and he just shuts the door)

Sarah and Henry sitting on the roof, swinging their feet over the side. They have been sitting quietly for some time already.

Sarah: So what is it this time?
Henry: She’s hanging around with that thing again.
Sarah: That thing? You mean Bill?
Henry: Yeah… You know how I despise him. Still she is best friends with him, even after all he’s done…
Sarah: Why? Why do you despise him so much?
Henry: (looks around as if checking if no one is spying on them) I think that this time… (looks at Sarah) I fear him. You know how he is…
Sarah: (smiling) You think he might take her away, do ya? (Henry nods)
Sarah: (taking Henry by the hand, warmly) Don’t worry, somehow I think that couldn’t happen. She loves you… And she couldn’t be that stupid too… It’ll be alright.


P.s. Queen of cups means ‘a smart and sensitive woman. Nice brunette with light eyes’ (Divining the future book by Jenni Kosarin).
‘Remember that life is about more than your day-to-day job and worries. Don’t get bogged down by trivial or the demands of others.’ (TAROT by Dennis Fairchild)

Well, your still going great stuff on here. Sorry I didn't spot it earlier, but lack of virus prevention, only Anti-virus scanning protection means I've become quite skilled at reloading Windows, but held back with surfing the net.

Might just have to keep an eye on this. Looks like it might be rather interesting. Just hope you have more faith in your skills now...

Well, it's a kind of taste... at least it's original do try a play form. You would never see me dare trying it. That is a compliment. On the other hand, it's no longer a story meant to be read. Maybe this would do great if it was performed. Still, I prefer prose. In play form, I'm unable to become one with the main character, to become one with his spirit, to look through his eyes, and that is what I find one of the most important aspects for a story.
Innovation for everyone or fun for (just?) me: choose for yourself.