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Thread: The return of the lightning - prologue

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    The return of the lightning - prologue

    For Lasura, it will come as a pleasant surprise. I have translated another piece of work and will post it in parts not to deter people who want to have a quick read. This is about the first page of my fantasy series The Legend of Dandor. I hope you'll seriously enjoy it, and I'll update as I go.

    Prologue
    The tower of the beginning

    New Count 1, 2nd Dic

    All here is so peaceful it surpasses my belief. This is the place where I have fought, where I have literally faced death. I survived that Last Battle, but my friends fell one by one. The Laws of Crea did not exist anymore. And now, instead of sabre-rattling, explosions and death cries, I merely hear the silence…

    His steps across the stones were the only things that echoed through the street. The weak shine of the moon enlightened his path and led him to a square in the distance. Dozens of temples of diverging size and architecture surrounded him; in passing he perceived the endless texts that were carved into the walls. They told him a tale… his tale.
    Once he reached the clearing in the buildings, he realised that he could no longer deny the presence of the tower straight ahead of him. Without saying anything, he raised his head, and something in his heart unexpectedly broke by looking at the monument.
    “Promised One?”
    By Dandor. She followed me.
    “Is something wrong? Suddenly you were gone…” The speaker put an arm around him, which he thankfully gripped.
    “Just call me by my real name.”
    “It is your real one.”
    “I mean the name I was given at my birth. I want to stay who I have been, even though I’m now the God of the Creation…” He stared to the building in the middle of the square. “Even though I’m now looking up to the last beacon of my mother’s.”

    That's it for now. Please comment if you find the time! Thank you in advance!

    - Darehan ci darevur -

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    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: The return of the lightning - prologue

    Yay!!!! ^^ I managed to understand the first sentence right!!! ^^ Didn't get any futher ~.~

    This is a really nice surprise indeed...
    Well, I like this quite well, this is like the missing part of all the games I've played 'till the end (they usually end with me saving the world, you know and it's such a pitty I don't get to see the world after it.. ) Very nice ^^

    And You'll update? o.O yay!!! nice!!!! I'll be waiting forward to it... though I'll try to dig through something on my own too ^^

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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    Re: The return of the lightning - prologue

    What do you mean by "Didn't get any further"? You appear to have read it completely...

    Anyway, here's the second part!

    No matter how beautiful the tower was, with its imposing height, its pillars of marble and its arches of gold, the memory it brought about in the young man was dark. For Crea he had fought. For Crea’s ambition, a warless world, and he had succeeded, but had paid a heavy price for it, one with a weight under which a common soul would have collapsed. Why this very evening did he feel the pain of old wounds? One full day ago, he had had the best experience of his life, that formed a cutting contrast with the thoughts welling up in his head. Thoughts about struggle…
    “Maybe we shouldn’t have come to this place”, he said in a low voice.
    “I didn’t want to leave the Sleeping Gardens, but you insisted to visit your parents’ grave”, she reacted.
    “I know that.” His tone was curt.
    His love did not get angry; instead, she took his hand in hers. “Poor boy. Of course that tower sets free within you more than you had foreseen. Should I have warned you?”
    “No. I am to blame for it. I made a mistake, and you were right. I’m sorry…”
    “You’re a Human”, replied she understanding, shrugging her shoulders, and together they looked at the sanctuary. It was dyed from foot to top; the painted image woke the bizarre illusion that the structure was a tree. The mighty plant on the sides depicted the Creotarian vision of existence, the essence of life and death. In spite of the dull moonlight, symbol of the goddess Sîngir who had weakened due to the Battle, the lines on the outer wall remained clearly visible. This temple to heaven, forged by the gods, had been resting for over one hundred thousand years in the centre of the Holy Creamir.

    Reply, guys, reply. If you don't reply, I will start thinking I suck, and that's even worse than knówing I suck. Be it crap or heaven, say so. Thanks again.

    - Darehan ci darevur -

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    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: The return of the lightning - prologue

    I mean I didn't get any firther than the first line in the Dutch variant ^^ sorry

    Oh.. you don't suck... people are lazy... I've got totaly used to noone comenting for weeks... one of my stories was commented by two people and then noone noticed it for one month- I was sure it probably sucked bad, but then people started comenting it A LOT and they liked it ^^ so don't worry!

    I like reading this, here I liked the way you described the past, telling all needed actually but in a way that you'd wish to be there and see it... Nice...

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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    Re: The return of the lightning - prologue

    Thanks for your nice words, Lasura. The next part is up.

    Here lied his tale… the beginning of it, however, rested far away in the south, on Savishar. Undeliberately, he recalled that first conflict. Four parties had tried in a brutal way to chop free their intertwined desires from the knout, doing so without hesitation to slash the others’ ones in two. He had been trapped in it and had played a key role he would rather have avoided. Around him, Men, water beings, birds and dragons had matted bitterly, and many had found the end. This was only the beginning…
    “It seems so long ago that I was faced with an enemy for the first time”, he muttered. “With the evil created by the Humans and their relatives.”
    “Whereas it’s only shortly ago. I can conceive. So much has happened that few would believe you, a single person, to have gone through it all.”
    “Two persons have, my girl. You and I.” Finally he looked at her and somewhere found salvation. Even for a Creotarian woman, she was exceptionally pretty, with her long black hair, dark blue eyes, slim body and full bosom. Her freckles were painted with a brush on her face and a bloom coloured her cheeks. Perhaps he was imagining things, perhaps she was less lovely than he fancied himself, but she filled his soul with bliss.
    He slowly embraced her and brought his lips against hers. She was surprised for a moment, next to press him against her and run her fingers through his locks. Time slowed down. Still far too early she ceased it and indicated she wished to say something.
    “Why did you stop?” whispered he in discord.
    She subtly kept off his longing mouth and answered: “Shouldn’t we go through it one last time?”
    “Through what?”
    She pointed at the tower. “The Legend among Legends.”

    - Darehan ci darevur -

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    Re: The return of the lightning - prologue

    ^^ I liked the description in this one... nicely done... I wish I could describe things like that.. and the way you write... I'm even surprised by your English knowledge this time, though this is not the first time I see you talking like a wise man ^^

    Nice work anyways... I'm looking forward for more!!! ^^

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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    Re: The return of the lightning - prologue

    Thanks, Lasura. At least you're not too lazy to comment. The last part of this prologue is up. What awaits you after that, is a one hundred twenty-one pages of chapter 1 until epilogue! *Proud bastard* Whether I'll translate those or not remains to be seen... definitely it remains to be seen. ^^
    Nonetheless, I wish everyone a lot of fun with the prologue's finale. Here goes.

    It took several seconds for her intention to dawn on him. “I… are you serious?” he stammered. “Right now?”
    “Right now you are suffering. Right now you need to heal.”
    He sighed, realising she was right again. “The Legend is long. For days and nights it will keep us busy, while you are still a Human. You won't be able to hold on.”
    “Then help me”, said she firm.
    He looked into her eyes and understood she would not budge. She was a brave woman, who meant well by him. “Help you?” He caressed her ear – a joke from former times. “I’d do that wherever I could.”
    “Come”, she said with a smile and dragged him along. Under mild protest to calm her down, he walked toward the entrance of the Tower of Creamir. As soon as he had arrived, he touched the doors with his hands and a pattern of tree roots lightened in shallow grooves in the gate, which opened of itself after that. Behind it a broad hall came into view, lit up by tens of torches on the walls.
    When he hung back, she pushed him inside. Immediately he didn’t feel at his ease; the myth housed here was so omnipresent that it beamed an aura into the interior. He was already near the history that was narrated there, and that caused him to doubt. His instinct told him to turn back, his heart to proceed. His partner’s glance, a request for faith, made him decide to do the latter.
    They passed trough one more door, whereupon at once the many flares in the room ignited. The stone ceiling joined in the middle of the chamber, in a peak surrounded by supporting arches with hewed-out ivy leaves. The floor was one huge mosaic and showed the symbol of a thunderbolt with a halo behind it. Exactly under the peak of the room a round dais found itself, that shimmered in the shine of the flames.
    “Are you ready?” he asked, climbing onto the platform.
    She followed and clung to him, all the same a little nervous. “Yes.”
    Following this, he raised his arms and cried loudly: “Carry us to the first episode in the Legend among Legends!”
    A cool breeze blew through the room. The torches wavered and were extinguished, and the inscriptions on the walls and the ceiling spread a bright blue light. The chamber faded out of sight. He didn’t see anything anymore, except for the letters of the texts, which pierced his very soul.
    “I love you. Never forsake me…”
    The Legend of Dandoria had begun.

    - Darehan ci darevur -

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    Re: The return of the lightning - prologue

    Nice... there must be really powerfull magicians in that library... such special effects... no computers could do something like that... cool...

    Anyways... a great way of starting a book... It's hard to make myself hold back from stealing it ^^ lol (Don't worry... I would never... it would be like lying to myself...)

    And again- I loved the descriptions... great!!!!! Nice work here... *nods* good for a good book... ^^ could I ask for you to send me a signed copy? ^^ lol

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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