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Thread: The Rise of a New Sun (by divine_punishment and Lasura)

  1. #9
    ♥ (¯'·._.·[GEISHA ゲイシャ]·. HieisLove may be famous one day HieisLove may be famous one day HieisLove's Avatar
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    Re: The Rise of a New Sun (by divine_punishment and Lasura)

    Dude! im loving it! please write more! its going good!
    ♥ (¯'·._.·[GEISHA ゲイシャ]·._.·'¯) ♥

  2. #10
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: The Rise of a New Sun (by divine_punishment and Lasura)

    Thank You guys!!!!!! Your comments make me happy!!! Don't know about divine. *whipsers* (I think he's shy ^^) But I think he's thankfull too ^^

    @ overload:
    we haven't started yet I can't seem to find any time But we will ^^ Thank you for your comment and the "happy writing" wish :P

    @ Renn:
    Awww... that's not true, we're not better than you ^^ lol everyone has his/her own style and different people enjoy reading different things. You don't fight about taste.

    And I'm glad to hear my writing makes you want to write, that is very good in my mind, thank you ^^

    @ HieisLove:
    It is ^^ that's good to hear. We will try our best!!! I hope we pot the next chapter soon

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  3. #11
    Legendary Otaku divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment's Avatar
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    Re: The Rise of a New Sun (by divine_punishment and Lasura)

    Yeah, soon!

    (Thanks for posting for me, Lasura!! I didn't know we had this! Wicked awesome!)

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    Lasura (Dec 19, 2007)

  5. #12
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: The Rise of a New Sun (by divine_punishment and Lasura)

    Ok, sorry guys for taking so long. I just was realy bust with studies. But at last I have finnished the next chapter. ^^ Divine_Punishment will post the next one after this.

    Here is the 3rd Chapter. Longer I think Sorry!



    She stood shocked for a moment, staring after the man that had just almost taken her life.

    Then it seemed she understood what just happened. She stumbled back a bit, then slowly lowered herself to the ground. The girl hid her face in her arms for a moment, trying to pull herself together and understand what to do next. In a moment she shook her head, like if that would also shake away her fear and looked up at Bryn, the man who had saved her life.

    “Thank You good man,” she said at last, smiling a bit, sadly.

    "I'm not a good man," he corrected, blowing a steady stream of smoke. "And if anyone asks, I wasn't involved . . ." He started to walk away, looking around to make sure nobody had seen him.

    She sat for a moment motionless, staring after Bryn, biting her lips. Then she looked around, fear twinkled in her eyes. She felt afraid, so very afraid. For the first time in her life.
    “I must talk to father,” she thought. “No matter how much I don’t like it- I need his protection.”

    And she slowly raised and walked away quickly, this time in the opposite direction though, planning her journey in her mind, choosing the most crowded streets. She entered Oxford Street and put on a fake smile, even her best friends couldn’t see that something bad has happened, so good she was at hiding her feelings...

    It didn’t take much time for her to get to her father’s office, which was also his home. He rented two floors in a huge, luxurious apartment. He lived on the top floor, alone. Alone was what he had most enjoyed. His office was on the first floor, it was Saturday so the office would be empty, but she knew she’d find him there.

    She didn’t have many feelings towards her father, she was brought up by about thirty different nannies, he had changed them frequently, probably afraid that his daughter may get affected to anyone. It was quite a lonely childhood. Don’t think that, because of being the daughter of such a rich man, she got everything she wanted. Her father wanted her to learn to fight for the things she wished. And she was thankful for that now. And she was thankful for the knowledge she gained, thankful for the fact that nothing was hidden from her, unlike other people who liked to call her a friend only because she could get to the money. She knew of the pain of the world and she knew she can help.

    At last she was at the house, or the mansion, to be straight.
    “Good morning Miss Jane,” the porter said, opening the door for her.
    “Morning Bill,” she answered, smiling warmly at him. “How have you been?”
    “Good Miss, good…” he said, nodding as she passed. He had served this house for thirty years now, he was one of the only people Jane got to really play with as a child, rarely, but that was enough. Her father couldn’t change the porter every few months…

    She quickly ran up the stairs and straight into the cabinet of her father. It was quiet and dark as always. Only the ticking of the huge clock worked by weights broke the silence. Everything still stood there as it had for all the thirteen years she remembered herself. Bookshelf behind the desk, full with books, some of them antique, window , shadowed by red velvet curtains (it was never open, father seemed to enjoy working in half darkness), a chandelier that was never lit, and, on the wall to the left, a huge painting of a woman her father never wanted to talk about- her mother. Only this time father wasn’t here sitting behind the table, reading some important papers, which seemed quite odd.

    “Well well, at last we’ve arrived,” a voice behind her back suddenly startled Jane. She threw herself around just to see two men, dressed in suits.
    “Who are you?” Jane asked, slowly stepping back. They didn’t look like someone her father could work with, especially in Sundays…
    “You know that very well,” they answered moving in the room slowly. One of them stayed by the door, the other moved to the window.
    “Yea, like if I could fly,” she thought to herself looking at him, feeling the table behind her.

    “I’m afraid I have no idea,” she spoke. “Where is father?”
    “He will be taken care of,” one of them answered.
    “We don’t want no trouble,” the other added. “Just follow us.”
    “They are sure I’m yet a child,” she thought to herself, smiling a bit. “We’ll see about that.”

    She wasn’t even going to follow these men, but how to get away? And then she remembered about his father’s defense mechanism.

    A grin appeared on her face. She slowly reached her hand behind her back to the lamp and just pushed it over. Immediately the huge chandelier fell from the ceiling, bringing irritant dust and sparkles that could blind a person. The effect was just right, the two men were stunned and she got the time to flip over the table and take out a very special book- “The black beauty”. And in the same moment the land bellow her opened and she slid down what seemed to be miles and miles of metal pipe.

    At last she landed safely on a mattress; she jumped up quickly, leaving the book behind and pulled out her mobile, to get some light. She found the door and headed running towards it, she had no idea whether the mechanism can be worked again and they can follow her.

    Outside she was awaited by a man, one of her father’s special employees obviously, on a motorbike. She jumped on the bike and they disappeared into the traffic of London.

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  6. #13
    Pro Utilitate Hominum LordCastigator may be famous one day LordCastigator may be famous one day LordCastigator's Avatar
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    Re: The Rise of a New Sun (by divine_punishment and Lasura)

    Ah, another story by Lasura? Interesting, I might just have to watch this space...

    I don't actually have time to read it right now, but since I'm sticking this post in here, you can be sure I'm gonna read in next chance I get. You always write great stuff Lasura. Looks from the comments like this keeps up the tradition...

    The Madman previously known as Daniel219

    Wish I could get on here more often. *Sigh* The down side to night shift...

  7. #14
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: The Rise of a New Sun (by divine_punishment and Lasura)

    Well this is with the help of Bhrett He's making the story more interesting... Hi character seems really great to me... ^^
    Well I hope you do have the time to read this and I hope you'll like this... ^^

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  8. #15
    Otaku Dune Bashing In Dubai Champion, Yetisports 10 - Icicle Climb Champion, Yeti Bubbles Champion overload is off to a good start overload's Avatar
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    Re: The Rise of a New Sun (by divine_punishment and Lasura)

    Yay... I've been waiting for this forever...
    and it is getting better and better, I have only seen this type of
    writing with the big name Authors, such as David Gemmell R.I.P
    and J.K Rowling.
    this is great keep it up.

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to overload For This Useful Post:

    Lasura (Dec 19, 2007)

  10. #16
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: The Rise of a New Sun (by divine_punishment and Lasura)

    Wow... wow... Don't overexaggerate, I'll become arrogant ^^ But really- thank you so much! It means a lot to me... I'm glad you like it so much. I'm sure Divine_Punishment will post the next chapter soon, he seems to write much faster than me Thank You again!!! ^^

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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