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Thread: The Rise of a New Sun (by divine_punishment and Lasura)

  1. #25
    Pro Utilitate Hominum LordCastigator may be famous one day LordCastigator may be famous one day LordCastigator's Avatar
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    Re: The Rise of a New Sun (by divine_punishment and Lasura)

    finally got the chance to read it. Damn studies, tests & other real life things. Always draining my time :P.

    Nice work on it the both of you. Looks rather interesting. It's not often the author doesn't know what's gonna happen next.

    I'm really gonna have to keep a better eye on this thing.

    The Madman previously known as Daniel219

    Wish I could get on here more often. *Sigh* The down side to night shift...

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    Lasura (Dec 19, 2007)

  3. #26
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: The Rise of a New Sun (by divine_punishment and Lasura)

    lol ^^ Thank you Daniel!!!!!!!!!! ^^ I'm glad you like it!!!!!!!!!

    Where here is our next part, hope you enjoy ^^



    After a five minute drive in the busy streets of London, the driver suddenly felt his passenger hit on his helmet.
    “What is it?!” he shouted, moving his head closer.

    “Take me to my flat!!!” Jane answered. The man shook his head: “No can do! It will be the first place they will search!”
    “You obey me now!!! And I need to go and get something!!! Turn left!!!!!!” she shouted and the driver had no other choice but to obey this little lady. He stopped a block away from her flat.

    “Get us a better ride and meet me in front of the house,” she said and walked towards her flat. The driver stared at her for a while, with anger in his eyes… How come this girl suddenly seemed to know what to do and how to do, from where did this power and strength she held suddenly appear? He spat on the ground drove off. He had to listen to what she says; one way or another- he would earn a lot from it later…

    Jane slowly walked the street, carefully looking around, responding to any little sound and movement with only but a calm glance. She entered the house quietly and ran up the stares to her flat.

    It didn’t take long for her to find what she needed. It stood on the table where she had always kept it.
    It was a simple necklace, but it meant more than the world to her.
    She could still remember when William gave it to her...
    It was their first date, she had sneaked out of the house to be with him even just for an hour. They were about to part again when he took it out.
    “This is a special piece,” he said, showing it to her, smiling. “Almost as special as you are. It might seem simple… But it is said that this little piece of gem could change the world…” he slowly put it around her neck. “Let it change your world.”

    This piece of gem symbolized her breaking out of his father’s rule, her fight… her love...

    Jane carefully put it in her pocket and ran out of the flat again, leaving the door wide open behind her. She ran down the stairs and smiled as she saw a grey car passing the street on the other side of the road- it was her ride.

    But, just as she exited the door, the sound of a shotgun filled the air and a bulled hit the stone wall of the stairs. Jane automatically fell to the ground and shielded her head. It was right in time to avoid another bulled, which passed right above her now.

    “What now!?” she shouted to herself.
    Last edited by Lasura; Dec 19, 2007 at 03:06 PM.

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  4. #27
    Otaku Dune Bashing In Dubai Champion, Yetisports 10 - Icicle Climb Champion, Yeti Bubbles Champion overload is off to a good start overload's Avatar
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    Re: The Rise of a New Sun (by divine_punishment and Lasura)

    yippee, the next piece...
    you don't mind if I copy all of the ones you have posted so
    far and keep them for myself. do you?

    as for this piece, I can see the character, Jane is somewhat of a rebel...
    and please post the next one soon. can't wait.

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    Lasura (Dec 19, 2007)

  6. #28
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: The Rise of a New Sun (by divine_punishment and Lasura)

    A rebel? Damn >.< I didn't want to show her like such a crazy gal.... Wanted to show that she's a bit spoliled after all and show what made her escape her father's rule...

    Well I'm glad to see someone really likes our story this much. I'm extra happy because I really enjoy writing this ^^

    Sure you can copy paste all the parts. But please don't post it anywhere else unless we allow you, k? ^^

    And divine now has to write something ^^ But he's much faster than me so... ^^ should be soon ^^

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  7. #29
    Legendary Otaku divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment may be famous one day divine_punishment's Avatar
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    Re: The Rise of a New Sun (by divine_punishment and Lasura)

    "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Bryn cried, backing away from the elderly landlady with his hands raised.

    "No trespassers!" the old woman screeched again, getting ready for another shot.

    "I wasn't trespassing!" he retorted. "I only asked if there was a girl here! Er . . . long, dark hair . . . bright green eyes . . . sort of petite?"

    "Up to no good, eh?" the old woman snarled. "I know your type! Vicious young hoodlums overrunning my city . . . Well, if the government won't do something about you, I will!"

    "Damn it all! I just wanted to ask her if she's okay!"

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    tora_tora_yatta (Dec 19, 2007)

  9. #30
    Legendary Otaku Snake Champion, Zelda Champion, Crazy Koala Champion, Minigolf Champion, Concentrate Champion, Guess 5 Champion, Batting Champ Champion, Beach Ball Control Champion, Bookworm Champion, Wacky Word Wiz Champion, Fight Fight 3 Champion, Spinner's Luck Champion, Traffic Jam Champion, Yeti Pengu Throw Champion Legend is making a name for themselves Legend is making a name for themselves Legend is making a name for themselves Legend's Avatar
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    Re: The Rise of a New Sun (by divine_punishment and Lasura)

    Quote Originally Posted by Lasura View Post
    But, just as she exited the door, the sound of a shotgun filled the air and a bulled hit the stone wall of the stairs. Jane automatically fell to the ground and shielded her head. It was right in time to avoid another bulled, which passed right above her now.

    “What now!?” she shouted to herself.
    lol, holy shit a shotgun??!! Pretty good progress so far, and I am still interested in this story. And considering that this story is written as a collaboration the big spikes in details are understandable, but I would say to not make such a big change all of sudden. Jane was a very sweet girl when she was saying hi to her butler, and we see almost a near 180 with her driver.

    'Cause you give me something / That makes me scared, alright / This could be nothing / But I'm willing to give it a try / Please give me something
    'Cause someday I might call you from my heart

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    Lasura (Dec 20, 2007)

  11. #31
    Otaku Gold Miner: Second Edition Champion tora_tora_yatta may be famous one day tora_tora_yatta may be famous one day
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    Re: The Rise of a New Sun (by divine_punishment and Lasura)

    From what i read this story it is getting really good and is very intense can't for the next part...Great Job Lasura and Divine_Punishment keep up the good work

    Made by mi amigo Mveli2

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    Lasura (Dec 20, 2007)

  13. #32
    Randomly Renny!!! XD Boiler Breakdown Champion, Lotads Lament Champion, Crystal Island Champion, Festive Fallout Champion Renn may be famous one day Renn's Avatar
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    Re: The Rise of a New Sun (by divine_punishment and Lasura)

    O.o oh no i missed a whole lot!!!! man i love the story so far very nice, and exciting!!!
    I hope to see more!!! ^.^

    'This world is trash. Cursed by the Fon Master...'

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    Lasura (Dec 20, 2007)

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