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  1. #9
    Slippery When Wet~ Trampoline Tricks 2 Champion, Togy Ball Champion highteckdudu is off to a good start highteckdudu's Avatar
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    Re: Sagasaki

    Sagasaki

    This is a world of magic, mortals, and elves. They live in this world called Sagasaki, where everyone is respected, and in need of each other to survive.

    It’s a bright beautiful day in the world of Sagasaki; the trees are blowing in the light cool breeze, the grass is always the right length, and the sky is filtered with fairy dust. It is always spring in the world of Sagasaki, and the only snow is at the peak of the mountains. And even thought it is spring, the trees change to different colors kind of like fall! But that’s not all; that’s just outside from one of the main villages called Hoga. Hoga is a peaceful place but like any other village here, it has its loud times.















    Chapter 1

    “EEEKK!” screams a voice

    “What was that?” shouts a man

    “That sounded like Evanangeline!” states another man

    The two mortal men run over to find a young elf girl crying under a tree.

    “What’s wrong?” shout the two men

    Evanangeline points to a spot in the grass. The two men ran over to the spot in the grass only to see a spider the size of a quarter.
    “Evanangeline!” the first man says, “come over here!”

    “NO!” she replies

    “Yes now!” he shouts back as he points his finger to the ground and stomps his foot.

    Evanangeline walks over shaking to where the spider is.

    “Now… WACK IT!” he shouts slapping his hands together.

    In the background, the other guy is laughing really hard, as he is holding his stomach in pain from laughing so hard.

    “No I don’t want to whack it.” She replies

    “Whack it!”

    “I don’t want to whack it!”

    “Whack IT!”

    “Why?”

    “Because I said so that’s why!”

    “Then why don’t you whack it?”

    “I don’t want to get my shoes dirty.”

    “Chicken!”

    “Who are you calling a chicken, you twerp?”

    “You old hag!”

    “WHAT… why I ought a…!”

    “SHUT UP! … Man you’re a sorry excuse for a mortal, ya know that?”

    “Well at least I don’t have funny looking ears?”

    Just then the spider started to crawl away as if to say ‘screw this’ and then the other man steps on it.

    “…”

    “…”

    “Shut up!” screams the second man, “before I do to you two what I did to this bug. Now lets go back to the village.”

    “…”

    “…”

    The three of them go back to the village in silence and then separate and go opposite directions. Evanangeline went home and the two guys went elsewhere. Evangeline walks in the door and her mother Eve is waiting.

    “Hello how was your day?” ask mother Eve

    “Beside getting attacked by a huge spider, I’m fine!” Evangeline replies

    “Hey why don’t you go and get your brother, where ever he is?”

    “There goes big brother always running off.”

    (Evanangeline is about 5’ 11’’ tall, medium length light blue hair tied back, pointed ears, light brown skin, blue eyes, and dark red scars on her face which look like wide dog whiskers on her face. Like all full-blooded elves, they are not your average short elf, they are quite tall, and have unique power and senses. Evanangeline has fox like senses such as she can sense danger, and when she gets mad she is very dangerous.)

    “Bye mother, I’m off on ANOTHER mission to find brother!” Evanangeline states sarcastically as she waves her mother goodbye and walks out the door in search of her brother.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




















    Chapter 2

    Evanangeline walks outside to go find her brother.

    “Big brother!” she yells

    “Hmm if I were big brother where would I be? Probably out with that no good friend of mine that’s where!” she adds.

    In the distance she saw a figure in the shadows, which looked like a figure bandaging its leg.

    “Brother?” she says as Eva runs over to the figure to see if her question was right.

    “Big brother are you ok?” asks Eva

    “Stop calling me that, its embarrassing, and yes, I’m ok, I just fell.”

    “You sure are accident prone big—I mean Trick! Tee—he. Mother wants you? She sent me to find you, luckily you didn’t wander off too far.”

    “Yeah, so what did mother want?” Trick look behind him as if he spotted something.


    “I think dinner is ready or something, she just said to come and get you brother. Now lets go!” states Eva as she pulls on Trick’s arm to get him to come forward faster that he was.

    (What you need to know about Trick is that he, like Evanangeline has scars on his face but only on the left side, has them on the rest of his body in random places, he has mortal ears, and is the only one that he knows of in that Hoga village that is like that, and he is very sarcastic.)

    “Hello mother we’re home!” shouts Trick

    “Where have you been?” asks mother as she walks over to him to brush dirt off of his kimono.

    “I’ve been out with Jynx,” Trick starts “and we were catching serpents so we could sell them at the market but then he had to go home.”

    “Eww!” sighs Eva as she walks over to the sink to wash her hands.

    “Boy, what happened to your leg? It’s all bandaged up!” says mother as she kneels down to get a good look at it.

    “I was running and I fell.” replies Trick as he crosses his arms.

    Evanangeline walks away from the sink to go and dry her hands.

    “You should be more careful.” Mother states as she gets up to set the table for dinner, “get washed up, and then after supper we can get a new bandage on your leg!”

    “Ok, thanks!” replies Trick as he goes over to wash his hands now that Evanangeline was done.

    (Note: Eva is short for Evanangeline! Endnote)


    The three of them sit down to eat there dinner, which contains of rabbit stew and fresh milk.

    (Evanangeline and Tricks mothers name is Eve, She is a nice mother of two children that she is raising on her own, she is full-blooded elf with purple scars on her face like Evanangeline’s. She too has a spirit within her, but that is unknown to us, apparently she has kept that hidden since she was younger. All in all not much is known about her. She is pretty much self-enclosed.)

    “Mmm, thanks mother!” states Trick, “now may I go to the lake to wash up?”

    “Yes, and Eva why don’t you go with him?”

    “What!?! Take a bath with him?”

    “Hey, now that lake is huge you can go to opposite ends.”

    “But he’s so dirty?”

    “You know that a spell was put on the lake so it stays clean and the water looks crystal clear?”

    “Yeah like that’s going to keep it clean from him?” Eva mutters under her breath as she crosses her arms and sighs.

    “You know I can still here you?” mutter Trick as he walks away to do something random.

    “Either that or you can clean the dishes!” Mother says cheerfully as she holds a stack of dishes to Eva’s face with leftover food still on the plates.

    “I’m going to get my towel!” Eva says as she scurries upstairs to get her stuff.

    (Note: They use the lake because a wizard along time a go put a spell on the lake so that way any thing that goes in to the lake comes out clean and the lake stays clean too. It’s called Crystal Lake. Also the water is also pumped to the houses so that those who don’t want to walk to the lake don’t have to. Another good thing about the lake is that it never goes dry, and it is safe to drink and cook with!
    One reason I don’t give too much detail is because I want you to make this world look how you want it. If there is something that I want you to imagine, like a certain detail I will put it down. End note)

    Both Evanangeline and Trick walk out the front door and into the woods to head over to Crystal Lake.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




    Sorry about the lenght! actually this is short compared to alot of the stories that i have done. but this is just really a practice one, i will have more pages up next year maybe cuz holidays are comming up so i cant put any more up, but thank you kindly to all who read this! *bows*
    I tryed to see things from your point of view but i cant seem to get my head that far up my ass!
    Visit www.highteckdudu.deviantart.com!

  2. #10
    The Keiman of Anime keimanzero is off to a good start keimanzero's Avatar
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    Thumbs up Re: Sagasaki

    [QUOTE=highteckdudu;572840][COLOR="Yellow"]Sagasaki

    A great blend of slapstick himour and a believable storyline. Six foot elves too- like Legolas and his kind in Lord of the Rings and the elves of Elfland in Those Who Hunt Elves eh? The use of the Light and Dark Wizards is like the Dr Who usage of the White and Black Guardians of the Universe. Hey that also smacks of Orphen and Louie the Rune Soldier as well. I wish you'd do something in your posts to make 'em a bit darker so we don't get too much eyestrain. A good beginning to an enjoyable tale. Evangeline- that's the name given to the EVAs that fight the evil Angels in Neon Genesis Evangelion. In the Bible I think Evangeline was a herald or harbringer of some sort or other. Love the other names of the characters. Can't wait for Ch 10.

    Mom's been reading 'Strand' to us at home evenings (OK- I live in a house we all own with my mom (a young 81), my brother (52) and me (a youthful 58) and mom has a great orating voice and tone). Anyway it seems to have Inu Yasha and DP characters in it and it sounds very promising. I'll review it when we finish reading it.

    Thanks for both Sag and Strand and for all your helpful advice too. By the way after I post Ch 50 or maybe after 55 I'm gonna take a break from posting my ff 'Xmas w/ the DP' and let you folks digest it for awhile. I may post again in a few weeks. Have a great snowy day and SFN. Ja mata and Kami bless you all. Toodles-K&K

  3. #11
    Slippery When Wet~ Trampoline Tricks 2 Champion, Togy Ball Champion highteckdudu is off to a good start highteckdudu's Avatar
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    Re: Sagasaki

    I Want to thank you kindly for taking the time to read this one, and for starting Strand. It is very helpful when people take the time to post what they think about it, and other things. Also Eva's name is spelt differently from what is on that one show you mentioned! It's Evanangeline! And I am currently reading yours, I will post one it when i get around chapters 10 or so! then i can post in sections! Yours are really great so far. I cant wait to go home and finish it this weekend! Sorry about the color, I use that yellow for every where I post!

    *Bows* I hope that your family loves the novels!
    I tryed to see things from your point of view but i cant seem to get my head that far up my ass!
    Visit www.highteckdudu.deviantart.com!

  4. #12
    The Keiman of Anime keimanzero is off to a good start keimanzero's Avatar
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    Thumbs up Re: Sagasaki

    Quote Originally Posted by highteckdudu View Post
    I Want to thank you kindly for taking the time to read this one, and for starting Strand. It is very helpful when people take the time to post what they think about it, and other things. Also Eva's name is spelt differently from what is on that one show you mentioned! It's Evanangeline! And I am currently reading yours, I will post one it when i get around chapters 10 or so! then i can post in sections! Yours are really great so far. I cant wait to go home and finish it this weekend! Sorry about the color, I use that yellow for every where I post!

    *Bows* I hope that your family loves the novels!
    Nevertheless in Neon Genesis Evangelion they are referring directly to the Biblical Evangeline. The computers are named Gaspar, Melchior and Balthazaar- the Three Magi or Wise Men. The villains are Angels and the EVAs or huge living (like the LFOs and the Nirvash on Eureka 7) giant robots which can be piloted only by kids are the heroes. Thanks for checking out my ff and sorry but mine won't be finished (posting) for a very long time to come. I will try and post up to 50 or 55 today and then go on hiatus with my ff for a few weeks or so. I think I'm up to the part about the SuperBowl on Terra (Earth)- SuperBowl CCXLVII or 247 between ? and ? (Ain't gonna tell ya but that year I got the teams and the scores right). Whoops- that's not until Ch 56- sorry. Well have a great weekend and SFN. Kami bless you all and ja mata. Toodles-K&K

  5. #13
    Devoted Otaku Quick Words Champion, Mah Jongg Solitaire Champion, Mah Jongg Garden Champion, Haunted House Champion Cheza may be famous one day Cheza may be famous one day Cheza's Avatar
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    Re: Sagasaki

    cool! It's very interesting, great job btw!
    If they really had a desire to live, they would've been more aware of how easy it is to die.

  6. #14
    Slippery When Wet~ Trampoline Tricks 2 Champion, Togy Ball Champion highteckdudu is off to a good start highteckdudu's Avatar
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    Re: Sagasaki

    Why thank you! I have the new chapters i just have to wait to get them up here!
    I tryed to see things from your point of view but i cant seem to get my head that far up my ass!
    Visit www.highteckdudu.deviantart.com!

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    Devoted Otaku Quick Words Champion, Mah Jongg Solitaire Champion, Mah Jongg Garden Champion, Haunted House Champion Cheza may be famous one day Cheza may be famous one day Cheza's Avatar
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    Re: Sagasaki

    Quote Originally Posted by highteckdudu View Post
    Why thank you! I have the new chapters i just have to wait to get them up here!
    NOOOO!!! Why must you torment me this way?! WHHHYYY?!
    If they really had a desire to live, they would've been more aware of how easy it is to die.

  8. #16
    Slippery When Wet~ Trampoline Tricks 2 Champion, Togy Ball Champion highteckdudu is off to a good start highteckdudu's Avatar
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    Re: Sagasaki

    I'm sorry! I have beenhaving trouble with my USB port system! but i will try as soon as I can!
    I tryed to see things from your point of view but i cant seem to get my head that far up my ass!
    Visit www.highteckdudu.deviantart.com!

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