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Thread: Start of the New

  1. #1
    ~Counting Down the Days~ NevesElocin may be famous one day NevesElocin may be famous one day NevesElocin's Avatar
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    Start of the New

    Her eyes had finally closed, letting the pain set in for the first time. Then came the tears. First a choked sob as she sank to the floor of her bedroom behind the door. Her shoulders shook and she wanted to scream. The world around her began to spin leaving her in nothingness. Why had she done that? She’d left herself wide open for that. She had been so open and trusting, telling him everything. How stupid could she have been?! Another pained whimper escaped her as the tears flowed more rapidly, as she covered her face to try and hide the fact that she couldn’t handle this. She wasn’t strong enough. For all the inhuman toughness she had inherited nothing could strengthen her heart, which now bled. She finally doubled over, no longer able to support her upper body.
    “Why?” she continued to chant. ‘Why was I so stupid? Why did I think that things had changed? Why me?’
    By then she’d gotten loud uttering loud painful shrieks that echoed throughout her small home. She’d been so happy, so free. Why did it have to end so suddenly?
    Just then the front door was slung open, followed by a loud slam and rushed footsteps coming ever closer. The door to her room opened and her brother stepped inside. He looked her over, from her tearstained face to her shaking body. He kneeled close and wrapped his arms around her to comfort his little sister in her obvious time of need. He rocked them both in an age old practice invented by their dead father.
    She struggled to calm herself as she listened to her brother’s heart beat steadily in his chest. More tears came when he asked what was wrong. She buried her face in his shoulder trying to steady herself to explain. She already knew he wouldn’t take ‘nothing’ for an answer.
    He listened as she tried to steady herself, soothing her hair back as he continued to rock them. He felt her hands clench and unclench as she worked them trying to restore the lost blood flow. Her body was so cold and her whimpers so tortured. “What happened?” he asked again, stopping his rhythm to tip her face to look at his own, hoping she would see and decipher the concern he felt for her.
    “I can’t tell you.” she whispered. “Wh-,” he tried before he was cut off by the shaking of her head. “You’ll try to solve it by force and I don’t want senseless bloodshed. Just be here for me.” she managed. “I’ll always be here for you.”
    And with that he held her until she cried herself to sleep. Placing her on her bed he watched her from the side of the bed, listening to her even breathing and hoping she was having pleasant dreams. “I’ll always take care of you. Just you wait until I find out who did this to you. They will pay for hurting you sister, you can count on it!”


    To be continued…

    Our love will go on until the end of time. I will always be yours and you will be mine.

  2. #2
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: Start of the New

    I read this, holding my breath... It's wonderful... almost made me cry...
    You've done a wonderful job... Everything is just perfect... Can't find anything I wouldn't like (and I ussualy do, I critisize almost everything)!!!!
    Can't wait for the second part!!!!! I really can't!!!

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  3. #3
    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
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    Re: Start of the New

    This is a good story. I really like it. you should post the second part I cant wait. Keep it up.

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    Banned Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip's Avatar
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    Re: Start of the New

    A really descriptive work you have. Amazing. I can't find anything wrong in it. Very well done!

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    Heavy Metal Goddess CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18's Avatar
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    Re: Start of the New

    Very good story it had my hooked from start to finish. I can't wait to find out what happened to her.
    "Sunset Kisses Along The Beach"
    Made for me by HolderofTheDarkChalice
    Thanks so much I love it!

  6. #6
    ~Counting Down the Days~ NevesElocin may be famous one day NevesElocin may be famous one day NevesElocin's Avatar
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    Re: Start of the New

    Wow didn't expect you guys to like it so much. This is written partly from a real life experience and partly from me just being me. Second part should be up sometime next week. Look forward to it.

    Our love will go on until the end of time. I will always be yours and you will be mine.

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