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Thread: The Story of The Elements

  1. #1
    Newbie Serenity Rose is off to a good start Serenity Rose's Avatar
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    The Story of The Elements

    (Ummm This story ihave been working on for a year... the characters are of my own design)

    Chapter One: the Beginning


    Come one and come all to hear the story of seven girls with seven different powers. This is their adventure to destroy evil and restore peace to all of the realms and middle earth. So children settle in and listen close. Parents be wowed by the bravery and intelligence of these seven girls. And let us old ones remember those days of unrest and upheaval. So begins our story…
    Many, many years ago in the dark ages lived an evil man named Aroenus of the Dark realm. He was so cold and so evil he killed to raise his chi. He wanted to rule the world but he was imprisoned in the Dark realm. So he needed a key but his key was on Middle Earth. This key was a young lady called Melfina Rose of the Dark realm. She was truly the only one who could release him with her blood. Just a few drops in a cross pattern could release him from his dark prison.
    Melfina Rose had made her escape from the dark realm nine years ago. She now resides in East Asia of Middle Earth, on the islands of Japan. She is now gently slipping into a hot spring just off of mount Fuji.
    “Ahhhhh so peaceful,” she said.
    It was her favorite time of day to go out; dusk. She was from the dark realm so day was not the best time for her to go out. She worked her nights as a royal assassin for the Zou dynasty. A dark figure appears suddenly before her.
    “Hey you perverted creep, I’m bathing here!” She yelled at the male figure.
    He steppes out as she sides under the water a bit. It didn’t matter if she was unclothed or not she would kick his ass if he stepped any closer.
    “I’m sorry to interrupt you Melfina-sama but the king wishes to see you. Be there in two nights time,” He said.
    After delivering the message he disappears as quietly as he came. After he leaves she steppes out of the water and redresses herself.
    “Hmmm, I wonder what the king wants,” she thought to herself aloud.
    Not getting an answer she begins her journey to Kyoto. She would travel by night and rest by day. Else where in the realm of light Mena Rose is performing some holy duties for the temple. One of the young elves rush in, she trips over her own two feet landing on the floor of the temple in front of her.
    “Yes young one,” she said lightly.
    “I come here to seek thy holy consol oh wonderful priestess,” said the young elf gently.
    “Then come hither child,” Mena said gently.
    She then leads the young elf to the sacred room of knowledge. After she closes the door she looks at the young elf girl. She sits down as the young girl sits down.
    “Tell me what knowledge do you seek?” she said wisely.
    “It is of love,” the young elf girl whispered.
    “What is thine problem child?” Mena asked.
    “Well there is this guy,” she started.
    “Be careful young one for love can be a tricky thing,” Mena said coolly.
    “I know ma’am,” she said.
    “But as always go for it, but just be careful,” she said wisely.
    “Yes great priestess I thank you,” the young girl said.
    The young girl leaves smiling. Soon after the priestess goes to rest. While she is resting she begins to dream. She saw evil rise up and she with seven other girls are stopping it and restoring Earth and all other realms to there original ways. She sits up in a cold sweat. She looks around her. Her word of crystal was beginning to fade. She got up and touched the crystal around her.
    “ I can’t let this die,” she thought out loud.
    She knew what she had to do. She goes to the council of elders.
    “ There is a great evil that is coming I have foreseen it,” she said gravely.
    “We know dear priestess of this evil,” they said.
    “I must go and help defeat it,” she said.
    “We concur that you must do this. But one warning we must issue you… be weary of the shadows kind priestess. Good luck,” they finished.
    “I will,” she said.
    She stood up and straightened her robes and walked out. The people waited for her return. When she returned she spoke with them.
    “People of the light, a great and terrible trouble has arose. I have been summoned to help defeat it,” she said.
    The people muttered. One of the young people spoke up.
    “But great priestess why must it be you,” she said.
    “I don’t know young one, but I do know that if I don’t our world shall be destroyed, and we as a people will die out,” she said.
    Later that day she sets out on her journey. The town folk wish her luck on her long and dangerous journey. Else where in another world, a world of water a young mergirl named Rema swims around the waters seeing what evil has tainted already. Her people were becoming sick slowly. She had been having the dreams for a year now. She knew that soon she would have to leave the water to find the source of evil killing her people. She swam to shore to begin her journey. She arose out of the water slowly as her lower body changed and her gills grew skin over them. Soon she looked completely human. She began to walk along the shore waving to her people as she left.
    In another realm made of fire Ferra awakens from the same dream that the girls in the others realms had been having. Her realm of fire had started to cool down slightly. She knew the evil was upon her people. She watched her people suffer but being a loner she did nothing. Well finally she had enough. She explained to her elders as to why she was leaving.
    “There is a great and terrible evil coming and I must stop it,” she stated coolly.
    The elders nodded in agreement. Soon after she leaves her city. There was no way she would allow herself to be destroyed. She also had other nagging questions.
    “Who are these other people? Do they have powers too? And why in the hell do I have to work with them?” She thought aloud.
    In the realm of plants, Terra listened to the forest cry for help. Her forest had not been the same since the man of darkness entered the forest a year ago. She patiently listen then touching one of the trees, “don’t worry I’ll do my best to save everyone,” she spoke through the tree. She prepared to leave, the next morning she sets out.
    In the land of wind, Windy a young wind sprite listens to the wind as it tells her what she must do. She knew something wasn’t right usually the wind’s voice was loud and boisterous but lately it had not been so. Her ice-cold eyes waited for them to say whom she had to join with.
    “Windy to save us all you must unite with six other young women. These women have started their journey as you shall,” the voices said.
    “Whom are they that I seek?” she asked.
    “They are Melfina of the dark realm, Mena of the light realm, Rema of the water realm, Ferra of the fire realm, and Gene of the crystal realm,” they whispered.
    When given charge to leave she left. She had returned to her home to pack. When she finished she set out. Then in the realm of crystal Gene saw the crystals around her begin to fade. She noticed that they started fade after the men of darkness pasted through the area. She appears in front of the counsel of crystal to see what she could do.
    “Our land has been tainted because of evil, what must I do to stop it?” she asked them.
    “Find Melfina Rose of the dark realm and help her and five other girls stop this evil,” they said forcefully.
    She looks up at the elders.
    “As you wish it,” she said lightly.
    She bowed as she walked out. She returned home and packed some food and an extra set of cloths and set out. She waived to her people and walked away slowly.

    Honor Courage Commitment.

  2. #2
    ~always by your side~ Radarix Champion, Virus 2 Champion, Virus 3 Champion fireandice is off to a good start fireandice's Avatar
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    Re: The Story of The Elements

    Wow this one sounds really interesting. Can wait to read some more of it. So far I like all the chacters. Good job!

  3. #3
    Newbie Serenity Rose is off to a good start Serenity Rose's Avatar
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    Re: The Story of The Elements

    Thanks my computer crashed so I'll have to wait on bringing more... Currently I'm on a public computer but there will be more as soon as my computer comes back. This is basicly a three part series.

    Honor Courage Commitment.

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    Slippery When Wet~ Trampoline Tricks 2 Champion, Togy Ball Champion highteckdudu is off to a good start highteckdudu's Avatar
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    Re: The Story of The Elements

    Wow! Keep up the good work! say how long have you been doing this? keep it up and you could be great! and have your own novel!
    I tryed to see things from your point of view but i cant seem to get my head that far up my ass!
    Visit www.highteckdudu.deviantart.com!

  5. #5
    Newbie w1nd1n6s is off to a good start w1nd1n6s's Avatar
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    Re: The Story of The Elements

    Wow Its a Nice Work You got There! Keep it Up* cheers *

  6. #6
    Otaku Blackbird is off to a good start Blackbird's Avatar
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    Re: The Story of The Elements

    Well done and looking forward to next chapters. :P

  7. #7
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: The Story of The Elements

    This reminds me a lot of what I wrote when I was a bit younger, but my work didn't go that well... I understood that writing about all the elements at the same time and how they work together would be too hard, because I wouldn't be able to concentrate on them all- some of the characters would be left out and I didn't want that.
    I hope you can manage this.
    This story could turn out quite interesting. I'm waiting for the next chapter. I really am- sitting now and bitting my nails... ^^ lol
    There's nothing I could say that you sould change. Maybe only you should put some empty spaces where you change from one character, one world- to another, because like this it's harder to overwiev it if you want to just overread it again. Anyways- this is very nice, I envy you ^^ Keep up the good work ^^

    I'll give you five stars, because I know how hard it is to write something like this and I really find it amazing, and maybe those stars will help you keep this story on, witch was something I always lacked. ^^

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  8. #8
    Otaku Blackbird is off to a good start Blackbird's Avatar
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    Re: The Story of The Elements

    I give you reputations for this story and hope you keep it up your good work

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