Tales of Romance???

Renn · Nov 14, 2007, 06:19 AM

okay well i've been working on this for a few days.and its has characters names from the Tales of the Abyss,Tales of Legendia,and Tales of Symphonia.
hope you guys like...

A pink-headed girl is wandering the empty hallway.

"Oh no! My first day here and I'm already late for class."

She keeps walking until she comes to her classroom.

"Okay.Don't panic,don't worry.Everything will be alright."

Just as she is about to open the door,the swings open,and she runs into
someone.She falls down on her butt.

"Ow."she looks up to see who she had ran into.It was a green-headed boy.
She blushes lightly.

"Who are you?"asks the boy harshly.

She shrinks back."Arietta."

"The new girl,eh?"says the boy."You're late.The teacher sent me
to look for you."

"I g-got lost."mumbles Arietta.

"Well get up.We have class you know."the boy heads back in the classroom.

Arietta gets up and follows the boy.

"Ah,there you are."says the teacher "Did you get lost?"

Arietta nods her head.

"Well there is a free seat over there by the window."

She turns around,happy that her new seat is by the window,until
she saw that it was behind the boy she bump into.

She walks to her seat.As she walks she feels everyone staring at her.
She also feels herself blushing.

She sits and the teacher starts to talk.

"Just because its your first day back,doen't mean that you
should relax.Get out some paper and write what i put on
the board."

Arietta sigh.So much for a normal day.

Well its gets kinda interesting.if you have played any of the games you might like this....

AngelFlow · Nov 18, 2007, 03:27 PM

I like how the beginning wasn't boring. It was fun to read to ^^. I liked it, good job and I hope you make more. ^^

Renn · Nov 20, 2007, 06:17 AM

oh thanks Angelflow seeing as how i couldn't put anything up since no respones came but i feel like no likes this story.....i mean i usally have more response by now....am i getting worse at writing????? well never the less heres some more story

Lunchtime

Arietta waits in line for lunch. She likes this school so far.Everything was okay,excluding her first class.

Two boys are arguing in front of her. She pays no attention to them. She continues to think.

Suddenly the two arguing boys bump ointo a man with a bucket of water.The bucket goes flying though the air. It splashes everyone behind the man.

As everyone was complaining, Arietta hurries and gets her lunch. She goes to the farest table and starts to cry.Why couldn't this be a normal day?

Then she felt something cover her head.

"Hey!" she say ,taking it off. She sees the green-headed boy. She blushes.

"Dry off. You don't want to get sick." he walks off.

Arietta stares at him while he walks off.Then she drys off and begins to eat her lunch.

Well i'll write more when i get response.......sorry if its kinda small i'll write more next time....

*Lasura* · Nov 21, 2007, 10:09 AM

Uuuuu... nice ^^ really good and realistic (appart from pink and green head

). And it's terribly interesting.. I really want to see the next chapter!!!!

I loved how you wrote that she goes and cries in the further corner... sounds damn much like me. And the way you've created the characters- the green haired guy. I really like it- sounds like what I did in my story "The Demon". But... it is quite obvious that the guy really likes the girl, though he tries to be evil, even in the first paragraph... so maybe you should work on that ^^ I know it is hard believe me, my "demon" is not a demon at all, but it's always worth to try. Creating him more evil will make the story more interesting ^^

Anyways- really nice work! I hope to see the next chapter!

Renn · Nov 21, 2007, 12:31 PM

oh thanks Lasura!!!^.^ well i like to think that he is evil well not so much its just his past that make...ummm.. not nice..... anyway heres some more story!!!!!

A few minutes after that ,someone comes and sits down at her table.

"You're the new girl,um, Arietta."She has black hair ,which are in pig tails.

"Yes." says Arietta

"So how do you know Sync?" asks the girl.

"Who?"

"That boy."she points toward the green-headed boy

"Arietta shakes her head."I don't know him."

"Really!"says the girl "I've never seen him talk to anyone let alone be nice to them."

"Oh well we have first hour together and this morning......."Arietta explains what happen this morning.The girl giggles " Interesting. Oh by the way my name is Ansie."

"Nice to meet you." says Arietta. Today may be a good day after all.....

well i 'll leave it with this and when i get a comment i'll write more!!! ^.^

*Lasura* · Nov 21, 2007, 12:43 PM

:P Haha! Now you must write more!!!!!!!! I posted a comment *leaves* ^^

Jk ^^

This chapter fixed the odd feeling that you gonna get them together- because here you really kinda said it with what Ansie said ^^

It's nice... reminds me of my story "School Romance"

I guess they all are alike. I have to fix "School Romance".

Anime Online is like the place where to post your sketches, find out opinions to later be able to choose the best and fix them up

At least to me it is so. ^^

Renn · Nov 21, 2007, 02:07 PM

lol thanks Lasura!!!! and anyway it is not..mine ids different ...somehow.....anyway heres more since u so kindly commented

"So, have you joined any afterschool clubs?"asks Anise

"No. Theres so much to choose from. What club are you in?"

"I'm in cheer."says Anise proudly.

"I wonder-" before Arietta can finish, another girl comes up to her table. Unlike Anise though,she looks like she does not want to sit here.

"You're Arietta, right?"she asks

"Yyes...."stutters Arietta

"Well stay away from Sync!"and she stalks off.

Arietta is shocked."Anise who was that?"

"That...was Seles. She,like,in love with Sync or something."answers Anise"hey don't worry about it.What do you have next?"

"ummm,Lit."answers Arietta

"Me too. Come on lets go." They leave together.

7th hr.
Arietta is early to her last class of the day. She finds a seat and starts to think.

"Hey."

As soon as Arietta looks up she blushes. She had been thinking so hard that she hadn't notice that Sync was right in front of her.

"Hello Sync."Arietta says shyly.

Sync really didn't seem to care if she knew his name.

"Meet me at the front hallway afterschool."

"What?"

Sync stares at her."I said meet me afterschool."

"B-but i-"stutters Arietta

The bell rings and a lot of people come in.

"Just meet me okay?" Sync walks off to the other side of the room.

"What could he possibly want?"Arietta mutters to herself.

Well i wrote more so comment if you want more!!!!!^.^

Astaroth · Nov 21, 2007, 03:31 PM

No offense or anything......but this sounds to girly for me.......like something out of a fantasy tale.........
I mean the story itself is pretty good an all.............but it is not my style

Renn · Nov 21, 2007, 04:18 PM

none taken. that is your opinion. check out my other stories then if you don't like this one. i admit most of my stories are hard to understand since i'm a newbie at writing.but i will take anything threw at me. and too let you know that my first verison was more action-y....where girl hits girl and fights and other stuff....but to my choseing i put this one up. anyway i am not girly and if this is girly i will try to fix it......

*Lasura* · Nov 22, 2007, 06:54 AM

It's not that bad, it is a bit simple, but it will come with time

I like it and you must continue soon, I want to see why that guy wanted to meet her... really interesting!!!! ^^

Nov 14, 2007, 06:19 AM	#1 (permalink)
Renn Fennes-One who prays Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: o.O should i tell you.....nope i won't!!! XD Posts: 522 Thanks: 6 Thanked 11 Times in 11 Posts Credits: 14,735	Tales of Romance??? okay well i've been working on this for a few days.and its has characters names from the Tales of the Abyss,Tales of Legendia,and Tales of Symphonia. hope you guys like... A pink-headed girl is wandering the empty hallway. "Oh no! My first day here and I'm already late for class." She keeps walking until she comes to her classroom. "Okay.Don't panic,don't worry.Everything will be alright." Just as she is about to open the door,the swings open,and she runs into someone.She falls down on her butt. "Ow."she looks up to see who she had ran into.It was a green-headed boy. She blushes lightly. "Who are you?"asks the boy harshly. She shrinks back."Arietta." "The new girl,eh?"says the boy."You're late.The teacher sent me to look for you." "I g-got lost."mumbles Arietta. "Well get up.We have class you know."the boy heads back in the classroom. Arietta gets up and follows the boy. "Ah,there you are."says the teacher "Did you get lost?" Arietta nods her head. "Well there is a free seat over there by the window." She turns around,happy that her new seat is by the window,until she saw that it was behind the boy she bump into. She walks to her seat.As she walks she feels everyone staring at her. She also feels herself blushing. She sits and the teacher starts to talk. "Just because its your first day back,doen't mean that you should relax.Get out some paper and write what i put on the board." Arietta sigh.So much for a normal day. Well its gets kinda interesting.if you have played any of the games you might like this.... __________________ <object width="425" height="350"> <param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/V2ley6QsbJc"> </param> <embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/V2ley6QsbJc" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350"> </embed> </object>
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Nov 18, 2007, 03:27 PM	#2 (permalink)
AngelFlow Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Home Posts: 141 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 1,066	Re: Tales of Romance??? I like how the beginning wasn't boring. It was fun to read to ^^. I liked it, good job and I hope you make more. ^^
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Nov 20, 2007, 06:17 AM	#3 (permalink)
Renn Fennes-One who prays Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: o.O should i tell you.....nope i won't!!! XD Posts: 522 Thanks: 6 Thanked 11 Times in 11 Posts Credits: 14,735	Re: Tales of Romance??? oh thanks Angelflow seeing as how i couldn't put anything up since no respones came but i feel like no likes this story.....i mean i usally have more response by now....am i getting worse at writing????? well never the less heres some more story Lunchtime Arietta waits in line for lunch. She likes this school so far.Everything was okay,excluding her first class. Two boys are arguing in front of her. She pays no attention to them. She continues to think. Suddenly the two arguing boys bump ointo a man with a bucket of water.The bucket goes flying though the air. It splashes everyone behind the man. As everyone was complaining, Arietta hurries and gets her lunch. She goes to the farest table and starts to cry.Why couldn't this be a normal day? Then she felt something cover her head. "Hey!" she say ,taking it off. She sees the green-headed boy. She blushes. "Dry off. You don't want to get sick." he walks off. Arietta stares at him while he walks off.Then she drys off and begins to eat her lunch. Well i'll write more when i get response.......sorry if its kinda small i'll write more next time.... __________________ <object width="425" height="350"> <param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/V2ley6QsbJc"> </param> <embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/V2ley6QsbJc" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350"> </embed> </object>
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Nov 21, 2007, 10:09 AM	#4 (permalink)
Lasura Angelic Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: In a Demon's Arms Posts: 1,866 Thanks: 56 Thanked 32 Times in 30 Posts Credits: 49,122	Re: Tales of Romance??? Uuuuu... nice ^^ really good and realistic (appart from pink and green head ). And it's terribly interesting.. I really want to see the next chapter!!!! I loved how you wrote that she goes and cries in the further corner... sounds damn much like me. And the way you've created the characters- the green haired guy. I really like it- sounds like what I did in my story "The Demon". But... it is quite obvious that the guy really likes the girl, though he tries to be evil, even in the first paragraph... so maybe you should work on that ^^ I know it is hard believe me, my "demon" is not a demon at all, but it's always worth to try. Creating him more evil will make the story more interesting ^^ Anyways- really nice work! I hope to see the next chapter! __________________ My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge
Status: Offline

Nov 21, 2007, 12:31 PM	#5 (permalink)
Renn Fennes-One who prays Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: o.O should i tell you.....nope i won't!!! XD Posts: 522 Thanks: 6 Thanked 11 Times in 11 Posts Credits: 14,735	Re: Tales of Romance??? oh thanks Lasura!!!^.^ well i like to think that he is evil well not so much its just his past that make...ummm.. not nice..... anyway heres some more story!!!!! A few minutes after that ,someone comes and sits down at her table. "You're the new girl,um, Arietta."She has black hair ,which are in pig tails. "Yes." says Arietta "So how do you know Sync?" asks the girl. "Who?" "That boy."she points toward the green-headed boy "Arietta shakes her head."I don't know him." "Really!"says the girl "I've never seen him talk to anyone let alone be nice to them." "Oh well we have first hour together and this morning......."Arietta explains what happen this morning.The girl giggles " Interesting. Oh by the way my name is Ansie." "Nice to meet you." says Arietta. Today may be a good day after all..... well i 'll leave it with this and when i get a comment i'll write more!!! ^.^ __________________ <object width="425" height="350"> <param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/V2ley6QsbJc"> </param> <embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/V2ley6QsbJc" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350"> </embed> </object>
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Nov 21, 2007, 12:43 PM	#6 (permalink)
Lasura Angelic Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: In a Demon's Arms Posts: 1,866 Thanks: 56 Thanked 32 Times in 30 Posts Credits: 49,122	Re: Tales of Romance??? :P Haha! Now you must write more!!!!!!!! I posted a comment leaves ^^ Jk ^^ This chapter fixed the odd feeling that you gonna get them together- because here you really kinda said it with what Ansie said ^^ It's nice... reminds me of my story "School Romance" I guess they all are alike. I have to fix "School Romance". Anime Online is like the place where to post your sketches, find out opinions to later be able to choose the best and fix them up At least to me it is so. ^^ __________________ My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge
Status: Offline

Nov 21, 2007, 02:07 PM	#7 (permalink)
Renn Fennes-One who prays Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: o.O should i tell you.....nope i won't!!! XD Posts: 522 Thanks: 6 Thanked 11 Times in 11 Posts Credits: 14,735	Re: Tales of Romance??? lol thanks Lasura!!!! and anyway it is not..mine ids different ...somehow.....anyway heres more since u so kindly commented "So, have you joined any afterschool clubs?"asks Anise "No. Theres so much to choose from. What club are you in?" "I'm in cheer."says Anise proudly. "I wonder-" before Arietta can finish, another girl comes up to her table. Unlike Anise though,she looks like she does not want to sit here. "You're Arietta, right?"she asks "Yyes...."stutters Arietta "Well stay away from Sync!"and she stalks off. Arietta is shocked."Anise who was that?" "That...was Seles. She,like,in love with Sync or something."answers Anise"hey don't worry about it.What do you have next?" "ummm,Lit."answers Arietta "Me too. Come on lets go." They leave together. 7th hr. Arietta is early to her last class of the day. She finds a seat and starts to think. "Hey." As soon as Arietta looks up she blushes. She had been thinking so hard that she hadn't notice that Sync was right in front of her. "Hello Sync."Arietta says shyly. Sync really didn't seem to care if she knew his name. "Meet me at the front hallway afterschool." "What?" Sync stares at her."I said meet me afterschool." "B-but i-"stutters Arietta The bell rings and a lot of people come in. "Just meet me okay?" Sync walks off to the other side of the room. "What could he possibly want?"Arietta mutters to herself. Well i wrote more so comment if you want more!!!!!^.^ __________________ <object width="425" height="350"> <param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/V2ley6QsbJc"> </param> <embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/V2ley6QsbJc" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350"> </embed> </object>
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Nov 21, 2007, 03:31 PM	#8 (permalink)
Astaroth Chtonian Slayer Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: you really do not want to know Posts: 562 Thanks: 23 Thanked 47 Times in 45 Posts Credits: 31,306	Re: Tales of Romance??? No offense or anything......but this sounds to girly for me.......like something out of a fantasy tale......... I mean the story itself is pretty good an all.............but it is not my style __________________ DO NOT MAKE ME UNLEASH MY INNER DEMON
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Nov 21, 2007, 04:18 PM	#9 (permalink)
Renn Fennes-One who prays Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: o.O should i tell you.....nope i won't!!! XD Posts: 522 Thanks: 6 Thanked 11 Times in 11 Posts Credits: 14,735	Re: Tales of Romance??? none taken. that is your opinion. check out my other stories then if you don't like this one. i admit most of my stories are hard to understand since i'm a newbie at writing.but i will take anything threw at me. and too let you know that my first verison was more action-y....where girl hits girl and fights and other stuff....but to my choseing i put this one up. anyway i am not girly and if this is girly i will try to fix it...... __________________ <object width="425" height="350"> <param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/V2ley6QsbJc"> </param> <embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/V2ley6QsbJc" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350"> </embed> </object>
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Nov 22, 2007, 06:54 AM	#10 (permalink)
Lasura Angelic Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: In a Demon's Arms Posts: 1,866 Thanks: 56 Thanked 32 Times in 30 Posts Credits: 49,122	Re: Tales of Romance??? It's not that bad, it is a bit simple, but it will come with time I like it and you must continue soon, I want to see why that guy wanted to meet her... really interesting!!!! ^^ __________________ My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge
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