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Thread: th essence of a crow's cry

  1. #1
    Newbie rukiasoulreaper is off to a good start rukiasoulreaper's Avatar
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    Post th essence of a crow's cry

    (this is the 1st part of the story. srry but im just lazy 2 type it all rite now. plz review so i can improve it)

    A girl stood in the morning dew with a canvas and vibrant paints in her grasp. She delicately stood outside the backyard with her eyes and ears shooting sympathetically at the faintest move. She painted long, flowing strokes to create a distinctive horse that can run till the end of time. Out of the tranquility of her yard, a dozen crows released a piercing sound into the sky that is truly gruesome. In the blink of an eye, she saw a dull gray and nothing more. With her canvas, moist and warm, left on the ground, she dashed away from the noise and into the safety of her room. Jewel not only left with an emerging gray, but also with a fragile spirit that can be undone by one individual.

    Jewel Hazel, 12, contains an artist’s girl that many may never grasp because they can never hold on tightly enough to their purpose. Her brown hair, braces, and lingering body make her unnoticeable, even to herself sometimes, in the mirror. She is a student at Skyfer Jr. High in Kansas, City. The rugged, plains and plants remove all excitement out of her but sways at her music. Everyday is a picture just popping out, but never surprising her. She vividly remembers the many vast afternoons playing the pianos, harp, violin, and viola in a rhythm that consumes her feelings. Life, a just companion, has gotten odd since she moved out of New York City with its dazzling characters and sounds that can trap you in a flash.

    Jewel constantly remembers her nights, slow and tranquil, playing in the warehouse preparing for her solo with the New York Philharmonic. When the sun came down and there was nothing visible except a straining light from above with smoke and the murky sky. The moment her hands started playing on that piano, she felt an urge, and then colors appeared before her magically. The playing lasted for hours until she was phased out by so many colors. Though her hands stopped, her mind was still playing the song over and over till she fell into a serene sleep.

    It sounds bizarre to suddenly by ambushed by colors, but Jewel is quite unique. Jewel’s most meaningful memories are when she first read a book and saw all of the letters in colors. Then her mother simply said that “letters are black.” Even though her mother tells her that she doesn’t remember anything about her baby years, she remembers when her mother first fed her broccoli with grayness blinding her eyes. At the time she was three, she was taking lessons on the piano, and colorful lights came to her if she practiced hard enough. When Jewel smelled her father’s sock, a funny taste of lemons prickled her mouth. Synesthesia is a companion that has followed her throughout her best and worst of her life.

    Jewel practices hard along side her viola and piano, because she has a chance of being accepted to the International Art Travel Program in the summer. However, today she keeps forgetting the colors of the fourth measure. Jewel doesn’t need to see the colors to play but it worries her that she can’t see them as a guiding light.

    Jewel is being tormented by a headache for 2 days straight and to make matters worse, the guidance counselor wants to help her with her “insecurity and fragile health that can be controlled with proper assistance.” All she wants to do is flow her hands around with her precious instruments. Whenever Jewel tries to play, her colors are very faint and not vibrant; it seems as though they disappeared into death itself.

    For the last two week Jewel has not wisped any music out, but instead has practiced through finger exercises. A depressing hollowness has swept into her, and she can no longer stand playing but not truly seeing. How can she enjoy her work when her heart is not in it? School has gotten worse because Jewel’s grades are near the ground and need to be brought up immediately. Her headaches have been replaced with the forgetfulness that seems to take over her life at any moment of the day. Why, just yesterday she couldn’t remember what books she need for her homework and half of the sheet music she practiced and perfected over the summer…

  2. #2
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: th essence of a crow's cry

    I read this story with great interest and it has really caught my attention!!!!!!! Please do continue, I really wich to know what's about to happen!!!!!!! ^^
    I love the way you describe this girl- Jewel... great!!! I always have problems with this so I tend not to describe my characters much and let the reader imagine them... but reading this, I start to think I'm doing the wrong thing, because it was nice to get to meet this girl ^^
    I'am waiting forward for the next chapters!!!!!!!!!!

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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