+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: Traitor (Pt. 3, Ch. 5-6)

  1. #1
    Newbie Shinigami Kira is off to a good start Shinigami Kira's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Traitor (Pt. 3, Ch. 5-6)

    Chapters 5 and 6 of Traitor


    I skipped school today. School is for stupid people. Stupid people who think they can be happy in life. I would pity them, but I have no pity for them. Pity is for those who deserve it. It is for the people who have endured trials no human has had to go through. Very few deserve it. Many people want it. I need none.

    Instead of going to school, I went to the movies. I knew it was a mistake as soon as I got in line for the tickets.

    When the stupid lady selling tickets asked for my ID, I thought about leaving. But I showed it to her anyway. I wanted to see a movie about the Crucifixion. Not that I believe all that stuff. Neither of my parents are—were— Christian. I’ve never even been inside a church. But the critics said it was good.

    It’s about suffering. Maybe I can relate.

    But I don’t even know why I listen to critics’ opinions. That’s what they are. Critics. And look at all the critics in my life. They offer to help. They offer shelter, love. Maybe even good lives. But then they turn their back. They leave you. A small desolate child left to drown in the raging waters of hatred and deceit.

    I was watching the person’s expression when she read who I was. It started out bored, but turned to prejudice.

    “Your pass isn’t valid,” the lady basically threw my stuff in my face. “Go somewhere else.”

    “You’re lying through your disgusting, crooked teeth,” I retorted. I wanted to see my movie. No idiot was going to stop me.

    “No, it’s not valid,” the lady said through gritted teeth. Ugly teeth. “Now leave me alone, you bastard.”

    “What did you call me?” I felt the small presence of rage. “My parents were both legally married when they had me. Besides, I’m probably more legal here than you are. What, did your parents come from Afghanistan by the Black Market?”

    That was a really crappy comeback. Especially the legally married thing.

    “How ‘bout you go home,” the ticket seller was really pissed now, “before I call the cops?”

    “On what charges?” I scoffed at her apparent idiocy. “Being born. Not likely.”

    “Fine,” the lady probably was going to kill herself for letting me past her. “Here’s your ticket. Now go away and stop bothering us normal people.”

    “I am more human than you all,” I whispered as I walked through the bars. “And I’m only paying normal price for this.”

    As I walked through, I threw a five at her. She steamed there for a while. Stupid. Thought I couldn’t read more than likely. I wasn’t going to pay ten extra.

    I skipped the snacks. And the drinks. Though it would’ve been fun to ruin some more people’s days. I don’t like people staring. So I skipped. The room directors pretended they didn’t notice me. I knew they did, but who needs them? I can follow my own directions. Don’t need some stupid hypocrite’s “help”.

    I got to my movie as the previews ended. Stupid ticket seller. I like previews. And when I picked a seat, people squirmed away and went to different rows. But I’m over it. Let them burn in hell; who cares?

    One day I should change rows through the whole movie and see how long it takes for them to stop moving around. That would be fun.

    See how many people’s days I can ruin in one showing.

    The movie started after I was done thinking. But I still had to wait through the damn beginning credits. I’d probably have fallen asleep if it had taken much longer. Why should I care who made the movie?

    Almost two hours later, I still sat in my seat. The movie just ended. My mouth was hanging open, from stupor. Sure it was violent and bloody, but I’m not religious. It’s hard to be when everything bad happens to you.

    Some people were crying. What a bunch of wimps. The movie was boring, not sad. Wow, some person died to save us. How do I know the movie is real like it said? People die all the time. When will people get over it?

    I’m over my dad.

    The thought of my dad hurt deep in my heart, despite what I thought. But why shouldn’t it? The reasons justify hurt. So why is it that I can’t feel anything? But these thoughts were dumb. I was past it. I had hardened myself. And my heart.

    I walked on random streets after the movie. There was nothing to do. I kicked a can on the road. I followed it onto the street. Then some gay guy almost hit me. He started yelling at me for getting in the way. I should yell at him. He should watch what’s in front of him. He probably beats his kids.


    I walked around some more then stopped at a burger joint. It tasted like crap. I left my food lying on the table. I decided to go back home. Crap makes you go home. It makes you realize the world is a waste. And people waste it even more.

    Stupid people.

    Album: The Chronicles of a Bohemian Teenager
    Artist: Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly.
    Favorite Song Today: I-Spy


    There was a new girl in class today. Her name was Theresa. She was kind of pretty and had really good hair. I had tried to make my hair nicer today, and was really proud about myself. But the girl’s hair outshone mine by a mile. It made me feel a little dejected and lower.

    According to the teacher, the girl had come all the way from London. Her parents had gotten a new job here and were forced to move in the middle of the year. When I heard that, I felt sad for Theresa. It would be really hard to move in the middle of the year and have to make new friends.

    After our teacher introduced Theresa, I told our teacher she could sit next to me. And once Theresa had gotten settled, the teacher asked if I would show her around for a few days. This made me really excited, so I agreed happily. Theresa smiled and I smiled back.

    I had made a new friend.

    In the future reflected in the fruit
    I change my dream into an ideal

  2. #2
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    In a Demon's Arms
    Thanked 39 Times in 36 Posts

    Re: Traitor (Pt. 3, Ch. 5-6)

    Nice ^^ I really like this story ^^ Can't wait for the next chapter. The best thing is that I have almost no idea where you are leading this...
    That's the greatest minus in most stories- you know what is going to happen, here... it just seems everythign has already happened maybe I really hate the fact I can't make an unpredictable story...

    Anyways... I can't wait to read the next chapter. ^^

    Coluld I suggest to post in the same thread? Firstly- mods might object and secondly- I sure am waiting forward to it but I sometimes forget to run in the fanfic section

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  3. #3
    Otaku Dune Bashing In Dubai Champion, Yetisports 10 - Icicle Climb Champion, Yeti Bubbles Champion overload is off to a good start overload's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    the Dark Side
    Thanked 16 Times in 15 Posts

    Re: Traitor (Pt. 3, Ch. 5-6)

    Well again this is great, and worth reading...
    (Send me a copy when it is printed...)
    this section is great, I love what happens at the movie theater
    and again good for you.

+ Reply to Thread

Similar Threads

  1. Traitor (Pt. 2, Ch. 3-4)
    By Shinigami Kira in forum Fanfics
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: Nov 22, 2007, 11:07 PM
  2. Traitor
    By Shinigami Kira in forum Fanfics
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: Nov 21, 2007, 11:33 AM


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts