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Thread: Two Lovers...

  1. #1
    Otaku BrokenLover101 is off to a good start BrokenLover101's Avatar
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    Two Lovers...

    This is a story about two lovers who met and fell in love without a care in the world… I hope you enjoy it.

    Skye Taylor was 15 years old and had seen much throughout her young life and was on the well-known suicidal path. She had been raped for 5 years of her life by her two older brothers and was currently thinking that there was no reason to live, everyone who knew about her brothers blamed her for what happened, said that she seduced them. Now tell me, how can a seven year old seduce someone? Personally, I don’t think it’s possible.

    One day she decided to look up anime online and came across a forum site that she thought was interesting. She decided to join and left random hellos in people’s comments. Most people didn’t respond and she didn’t care, who would reply back to someone they didn’t know? However, one person did.

    His name was Marc Johnson. He was 16 years of age and had been abused as a child by his father who doesn’t care about him. He was different than any guy she had met and it’s because of this that she was drawn to him, reluctantly, but non the less, drawn. I don’t’ know much more about his life besides what happened with Skye because he doesn’t talk about it much and it always bothered Skye. Even though she thought that the past was well, exactly that, the past, she wanted to know about it because it shaped who he had become.

    Anyway, on with the story… He replied saying hello and she grew to like him, she liked the way he talked, the way he acted, his personality, everything about him, but sadly he was taken. April was her name and strangely enough she was had become friends with Skye. April talked about him almost all the time but what she didn’t know was that every time she did, she was hurting Skye a little more. The reason being that Skye loved him and he had seemed like he loved her back. In her mind… she was wrong.

    TO BE CONTINUED…
    X.x.X The only thing I'll ever want... X.x.X

    X.x.X Is for you to love me the way I love you.. X.x.X

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    ♥ (¯'·._.·[GEISHA ゲイシャ]·. HieisLove may be famous one day HieisLove may be famous one day HieisLove's Avatar
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    Re: Two Lovers...

    Aww the story looks good so far . i hope there will be more. i feel sorry for the girl and the boy. keep it up
    ♥ (¯'·._.·[GEISHA ゲイシャ]·._.·'¯) ♥

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    Otaku Zeikku Shadow is off to a good start Zeikku Shadow's Avatar
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    Re: Two Lovers...

    ...she was had become friends with Skye...

    This wording is a bit confusing.

    Other than that it's not that bad. Could use a bit more polishing, but it has potential. It worried me quite a bit at first, because you seemed to be telling a true story. That however is a good thing. If you can draw people in that way, it shows potential. Keep working at it, you will get it.

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    BrokenLover101 (Dec 13, 2007)

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    Otaku BrokenLover101 is off to a good start BrokenLover101's Avatar
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    Re: Two Lovers...

    Quote Originally Posted by Umbriel View Post
    ...she was had become friends with Skye...

    This wording is a bit confusing.

    Other than that it's not that bad. Could use a bit more polishing, but it has potential. It worried me quite a bit at first, because you seemed to be telling a true story. That however is a good thing. If you can draw people in that way, it shows potential. Keep working at it, you will get it.
    that's because it is a true story.... just, well with different names. Yeah i know.. >< sorry about that.
    X.x.X The only thing I'll ever want... X.x.X

    X.x.X Is for you to love me the way I love you.. X.x.X

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    Randomly Renny!!! XD Boiler Breakdown Champion, Lotads Lament Champion, Crystal Island Champion, Festive Fallout Champion Renn may be famous one day Renn's Avatar
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    Re: Two Lovers...

    Ohhh very nice story i hope to see more...i love romance stories so much!!!! Please write more!!!

    'This world is trash. Cursed by the Fon Master...'

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    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: Two Lovers...

    ummmm ^^ very nice... love the way you think up names, it seems so easy for you... it takes a few days for me and even after that the words are really odd...

    Well I must say you write quite good. Well maybe because it's a realk story so you don't have to think things up and everything you write seems really realistic... Andyways I really hope to see more ^^ So post soon

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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