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Thread: The Vampire in My Dreams

  1. #1
    Child Of God Kiani Haki22 is off to a good start Kiani Haki22's Avatar
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    The Vampire in My Dreams

    It was a cold dark night the moon was out. Red painted the moon as of blood was spilled over it. I woke up screaming again from my horrifying nightmare. About that vampire who attacked me on Halloween. It seemed to be too real to be just a dream.

    I got up to turn on the lights, but the storm had knocked them out. "Damn, now where is those candles." I lit the candles, the were all over the place. Finally the darkness turned to light. I wasn't frighten anymore. My nightmares scare me a lot.

    Tomorrow is important it is my friend party of course it is on Halloween, Friday the 13th. I'm going to go as a psychic. But I have a feeling something about the party is not going to be fun at all. I just don't think it is a good idea to go but my friend, well I just have to. Well I better get some more rest before tomorrow's party.

    The Next Day

    I woke again form another nightmare, "I hate these stupid nightmares." But this one ,this one was more specific it was at a party and he was dressed as a zombie. It was also weird my friends were there too. But no time to dwell on my dreams time to get ready, I woke up late again.

    At the Party

    Well another weird thing my friends costumes look as they did in my dream. I got that feeling again but I only got that feeling in my dream, That means he real and he is .......(gulps)here.

    Vampire Talking

    "Hmmm.....I wonder who should I kill first. There is just so many .I just don't know where to begin. On this dark night I will choose the next one I see . Oooo... I guess I'll have a ghost first." I crept up behind her "follow me" I whispered in her ear and she did.

    I drained her dry, one down a whole bunch more to go . One by one I drained them. Mmm... that was a tasty appetizer. Now for the main course.

    The Girl

    People seemed to be disappearing like magic. "Oh no a..a...a..a ZOMBIE." I ran as fast as I could but I was no match for him. He caught up to me in no time. But when he was about to bite me he sniff me and said you can be useful in the future. He turned around and turned into a bat and flew away.

    Now and forever my curse is to see in my dreams him kill all his victims and feel there pain. HELP ME! I don't think I can take it much longer before.... before I am DEAD.
    Last edited by Kiani Haki22; Jul 09, 2008 at 11:35 AM.

  2. #2
    Otaku BrokenLover101 is off to a good start BrokenLover101's Avatar
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    Re: The Vampire in My Dreams

    It's an alright story.. I guess, you should change the words around a little bit and make sure the story goes together. The moon can't be out and there be a storm that knocked the lights out. if there was a storm earlier then you need to say
    "I got out of bed to turn the lights on but the storm we had earlier in the night must have knocked them out"
    or something like that.... hmm.. i also noticed that you have either run-on sentences or sentence fragments, which isn't a good thing... I could probably revise this story but that's kind of rude.. so i'll just leave you with these details that will help get you on your way..
    X.x.X The only thing I'll ever want... X.x.X

    X.x.X Is for you to love me the way I love you.. X.x.X

  3. #3
    Devoted Otaku Ghattenpaw is off to a good start Ghattenpaw's Avatar
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    Re: The Vampire in My Dreams

    Halloween is ALWAYS on Oct. 31st.............................

    Anything is Pawsable
    Growing old is Mandatory-Growing up is Optional

  4. #4
    Child Of God Kiani Haki22 is off to a good start Kiani Haki22's Avatar
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    Re: The Vampire in My Dreams

    This story takes place in a alternate reality so halloween is on a different day.....and I know this is not the best story.

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