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Thread: A vampire story...

  1. #1
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    A vampire story...

    I found some interesting stories here and have decided that I should try out my luck by putting in my sory. Hope you enjoy it!!!


    It was a cold, windy night, the night of October 13, 2006. I was walking in the woods the way I always did when feeling sad and broken, the way I have never done it after that time. Again my heart was broken, again I felt lost and lonely, even the moon had hid his face from me tonight.
    “Is your world burning tonight?” a mans voice suddenly asked me from behind.
    “Like it would be your business!” I answered and continued walking. The next moment the man was right in front of me. He was dressed in black and his green eyes pierced into my eyes and it felt like my soul too.
    “Don’t run away,” he said to me as nicely as he could.
    “Why should I stay?” I replied.
    “I can rescue you from this world that hurts you so much; I can take you to a place where no one will ever harm you, where the time stops and real gentlemen still live.”
    “I don’t think that is possible.”
    “Oh, but it is, I'll show you,” he said, grabbing me, I had time only to trow an angry look, the next moment he seized me and suddenly we were flying… The world was left underneath and we were flying above it all. I screamed, embraced him and closed my eyes, afraid of falling. I thought of running when my feet touched the ground again but I understood there would be no use… I could never escape this man.
    “Who are you?” I asked, slowly stepping back.
    “A vampire,” he answered.
    “Take me back,” I said, feeling my voice tremble.
    “I’m afraid I can’t,” he answered, approaching slowly, I tried to run but I didn't get too far, he easily cought me. "I'm asking just for a dance."
    "A dance?! You have to be joking!!!" I answered, trying to get out of his hands."
    "No, in fact, I am not. I don't need more than a dance."
    "I'm not THAT naive. Plus, what is a dance when there's no music?!" I asked, taking a look around. I was in a large hall; everything was clad with dust and ashes still this place seemed kind of magical.
    "Sometimes a dance can create music," the vampire said and I gave up, knowing that he has complete power over me; we started dancing.
    I closed my eyes and, when I opned them, I saw the dust slovely rise up, music starded and wonderful view opened up- everything was clad with gold, a great chandelier enlighted the room, I was suddenly in a beautiful black dress and many other couples danced next to us. It was... magical, I put my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes enjoying this wonderfu moment.
    The next moment he stopped. I apened my eyes again, I was back in the dark, cold hall, the vampire was looking down on me with a question in his eyes: "Will you join me in death?"

  2. #2
    Heavy Metal Goddess CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18's Avatar
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    Re: A vampire story...

    Wow what a scary story. I couldn't walk in the woods alone like that cause I'm not that brave. You did a very good job on it.
    "Sunset Kisses Along The Beach"
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    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: A vampire story...

    Thank You very much CherryBlossom, it's nice to hear that someone likes my story. I wouldn't walk in the woods alone like that either, it's too dangerous, at least in my village.

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    Banned Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip's Avatar
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    Re: A vampire story...

    Wow.. I had no idea you could write fiction stories too! is there any part two?

  5. #5
    Pro Utilitate Hominum LordCastigator may be famous one day LordCastigator may be famous one day LordCastigator's Avatar
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    Re: A vampire story...

    Interesting. I usually enjoy reading peoles stories, & though not my usual style of choice, I liked it.
    The Madman previously known as Daniel219

    Wish I could get on here more often. *Sigh* The down side to night shift...

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    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: A vampire story...

    Thank you Daniel219!!! I'm happy you liked it!!! Please do tellwhat you didn't like! It helps a lot! P.s. I like your signature!!!

    And the second part is coming up!

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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    Pro Utilitate Hominum LordCastigator may be famous one day LordCastigator may be famous one day LordCastigator's Avatar
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    Re: A vampire story...

    I usually read stuff where there's a more than slight dose of action, though a story with a good plot, like your simple yet effective example, doesn't go astray.

    If I was writing the second part, I'd probably end up with the Vamp going in for the bite, when a sudden attack from the shadows stops him, theres a rather violent face off with the now reveiled hunter, the Vampire is slain, the girl is returned to near her home & told something along the lines of "Go home, it's not safe out tonight". She'd take a step towards her home, look back, then go inside with an uneasy feeling that something just happened. She tries her hardest to remember , but all she gets as she passes through her door is the feeling someone was watching her back tonight, & that she shouldn't be out on a night like this. The hunter watches her enter & lock up her house, then carries on to his next hunt...

    That's basically how a character of my own tends to opperate. In case you couldn't guess, one of his professions is that of supernatural hunter. That's mearly what entered my mind when I saw your question. By no means am I pressuring you into using it, it's just what came into my head. You write whatever ending you feels it deserves.

    Maybe I should start writing some. LOL.
    The Madman previously known as Daniel219

    Wish I could get on here more often. *Sigh* The down side to night shift...

  8. #8
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: A vampire story...

    Ok...understood... *writting down: "not enough action"* It will be hard to put more action in this one though...
    Thank you again!!!!!
    Your ending is really interesting, I can't decide between two different endings...
    And make shure you inform me if you put your story here, I'd gladly read it!

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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