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Thread: When the past attacks

  1. #1
    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    When the past attacks

    It's morning and the air is already thick. I can tell immediately as I wake up and roll out of bed. Sluggishly, I move toward the bathroom and start preparing for another typical day of mundane work in a cubicle, surrounded by people, yet feeling alone in this sea of files and reports. I’m lucky today, because I managed to get up early for a change, which is a rare occasion; due to the fact that I never manage to get a good night’s sleep (I suppose staying up all night drinking and smoking doesn’t help).

    The name’s Henry—Henry Hoffman—and right now, I’m doing my best to stay awake in the shower. Last night (just like any other) was a night full of liquor binges and stripper chases; pot parades and pass-out contests. You see, I am a troubled man with an even more troubled past. Until about five years ago, I used to be a member of the most notorious street gang in town—hell in the world!—I was a Jolly Roger.

    The Jolly Rogers are known for their use of swords over guns and let’s not forget the tyrannical rule they’ve held over my hometown for as long as I could remember. They’re name comes from their symbol: The Jolly Roger. Formerly an old pirate logo, now it’s that gang’s namesake. Anyone who sees it from a block away immediately moves a hundred miles away. It’s a symbol of death, destruction and hopelessness.

    I was one of their main men. I even had a small crew under my command and everything. We took on “special” tasks. I say “special” because we did things that even hell won’t let us in for. Assassination, rape, arson, torture… You name it, we probably did it twelve times. It’s pretty much all I knew. I had no parents when I was young, so learning the difference between right and wrong had a snowball’s chance in hell while growing up in a city full of crime and evil.

    It all started when I was about ten years old. I had lived in an orphanage… If that’s what you want to call it. It was more like a concentration camp. A “dumpster” full of kids that nobody wanted, surrounded by adults who could care less about the well being of—what they used to call—“late abortions”. On a daily basis, we were beaten, called names, isolated and kept in absolute silence. On a weekly basis, we were fed, groomed, told to keep our “bastard mouths” shut and put on display for prospective parents and city inspectors.

    On one of the days we were put on display for “window shoppers”, I happened to notice a man in a black suit who kept pacing back and forth, staring at the children; as if he had the most wonderful plan for a handful of us. The man looked rich. You could tell right away just looking at the suit he was in. It was black with off-white pin stripes and had a matching vest. He wore gaudy jewelry around his wrists and on his fingers and had a very regal walk. The most memorable feature of this man was his tattoo that looked oddly like a pirate flag—the Jolly Roger.

    I was young and dumb—not to mention the fact that we never got to see sunlight at the orphanage—so I really didn’t know that he was a criminal at the time. He would select one or two children, sign some papers and that was the last time you would see that kid. To the rest of us, he was like Captain Get-me-the-****-outta-here. A super-hero, come to rescue us from the evils of our “dumpster”. Little did we know that wasn’t his modus operandi. He showed up the following week. This time, with several other people. We thought that he had told his friends about us kids and that they should adopt. Boy, were we wrong…

    While we were behind the “glass of fate” (that’s what we called our display window), the most shocking thing happened. We watched as the men in suits opened their jackets, only to reveal several types of swords. “Jolly Rogers… Kill.” The man who was our super-hero, was actually a super-bad ass! I guess they had no need for the orphanage or the rest of the orphans. Because these men killed with no hesitation. Man, woman, child or plant—you were going to die if you didn’t run.


  2. #2
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    Re: When the past attacks

    wow nice i really like it altough it's a bit sad!!good job!!!i hope there's more!!

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    Otaku Dune Bashing In Dubai Champion, Yetisports 10 - Icicle Climb Champion, Yeti Bubbles Champion overload is off to a good start overload's Avatar
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    Re: When the past attacks

    I cannot belive what I just read.
    this is really good and a bit sad at the same time.
    I have said it to other members and I will say it to you,
    send this in even as a short story to the local newspaper.

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    Re: When the past attacks

    w0w...how nice...( *sniff**cry**weep*....Good work

  5. #5
    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    Re: When the past attacks

    Thanks to all of you! I'm glad that you all liked my story. ^_^
    I'm hoping to finish the second chapter soon! And I'm hoping that you all will like that one as much as you liked this one.


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    Re: When the past attacks

    Lol ^^ that was great!!!!I loved reading... very fun and reminded me very much of how Stephan King writes- very alive, you can really imagine someone saying that...

    And it's funny as well... I just loved the last sentence- "Man, woman, child or plant—you were going to die if you didn’t run." Hah!!! Plant!!!!! >.< cute!!!!!!
    The only thing was that I couldn't understand why in the hell they attacked an orphange... but I guess it's to find out later ^^

    Anyways, I'm looking forward for the next part!!!!!! Nice work!!!

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  7. #7
    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    Re: When the past attacks

    **Well, I'd like to start off by saying thanks to everyone who commented on the first chapter! ^_^ You guys rock my socks off! I'm glad you took the time to read it. So here's the second chapter of my story. I hope you all like it as much as the first. ^_^**


    Chapter two: "Playing with fire."

    These were men with no conscience that we were dealing with here. I watched from behind the glass as they slaughtered innocent children for no apparent reason. I could care less about the staff. They were abusive, mean and self-centered. They deserved what happened to them, but us kids? Why? I had intended to find out. I took a chair and threw it at the glass, which caused it to shatter into a million tiny, little pieces that looked like chunks of ice falling from the sky.

    As I ran out of the exit that I created with my own two hands, one of the suited men was preparing a Molotov cocktail. I tried to sneak past him, in hopes that he wouldn’t notice me. But that didn’t work to my advantage. I was spotted the minute I tried to sneak past him. He grabbed me by the arm, pulled out his knife and said, “Where the hell do you think you’re goin’, ya little brat?!” As he prepared to swing at me, I kicked him in his groin; which made him wobble at the knees as he fell toward the floor in pain. As he hit the floor, his cocktail--which was already—lit hit the floor and went up in flames. The building was now on fire.

    I escaped through one of the emergency exits and made my way across the street, where I stopped to catch my breath. I looked up at the building, which was now up in flame and smoke, and watched it burn to the ground. Once the fire department and the police showed up, I noticed that several black cars had pulled away from the orphanage in a hurry. I assumed that those cars belonged to the people who “adopted” my friends and killed the rest. I decided to follow them. I hopped on a bike that used to belong to one of the orphanage staff members thinking to myself, “He’s not gonna need this anytime soon.” And off I was, on an attempt to find these people and get them back for what they did.

    The cars stopped at the riverfront in the warehouse district. Exiting the cars were the very same people who destroyed our hopes of freedom and family. I watched as the got out of the vehicles and made their way inside of a large warehouse. Once they all were inside, I snuck around the back, where I had to climb crates to gain access to a small window which was left open. I climbed in and did some searching. I figured if I find the remaining children, I’d find the man responsible for this entire mess.

    I searched nearly the entire warehouse, that’s when I came across what looked like an office space. As I quietly cracked the door open, I heard familiar voices. I burst into the room and sure enough it was the last two children I seen get “adopted” before the massacre at the orphanage. Their names were Kenny and Vanessa. “Henry! What are you doin’ here?” Kenny asked, “We thought you were dead!” Vanessa quickly jumped in, “HE thought you were dead. I hoped you’d still be alive. Why are you here?” That was a good question. Why was I there?

    At first I thought that I was doing what was right. I thought that they only wanted to hurt these kids. But once I entered the room, I noticed that Kenny and Vanessa were dressed in fine clothing, eating meals we only dreamed of, and playing video games. They looked happy. “I just came to see if you guys are okay. Well, I guess if you don’t need my help, I’ll leave.” As I said that, I felt a strong hand grab me by the shoulder and heard a man say, “And just where do you think you’re goin’, punk?” I turned around to look up at the man who grabbed me and froze up in shock… It was the man who I had groined!! And he didn’t look happy.

    I screamed, “Let me go, you son of a bitch!!” and tried to groin him again, but this time he just pushed me back. I flew about two yards back and hit a desk. “What’s all the noise? What’s going on?” A strong, commanding voice asked. We all turned around to see the very same man who came to the orphanage to take Kenny and Vanessa away. The man in the pinstripe suit!! I got up and rushed toward him, flailing my arms at him, screaming, “Why??? Why did you do it?? Why did you kill all those people? Why did you burn down our only home??” I continued to swing away at the man, who didn’t seem fazed by my attack at all. “Because those who ran the place had it coming…” the man replied. I froze in my tracks… “What?”

    “You feel the same way, don’t you?” The man asked. I thought about it for a second or two and told the man I agreed with him, but something didn’t sit right. “What about the other kids? Some of them were friends of mine? What did they do to deserve death? What did I do??? I could’ve died!!” All the man could do was stare at me. He smiled, which turned into a snicker, which turned into hysterical laughter. “Because, they didn’t make the cut,” He said. “Because those who don’t want to help themselves don’t deserve to live. But it appears that I may have over looked someone. You surviving and coming here to face me personally; now that’s helping yourself! Ha ha! The fact that you were willing to risk your life to come and ‘save’ your friends is deserving of my attention.” I thought about what that man said, and it all started to make sense.

    The man showed up to “recruit” new members. They want to start young, so they have loyal people within their circle of trust. Once they had what they needed, they disposed of the “garbage” afterwards. The fact that I got his attention made me think so. These weren’t any ordinary people, they were criminals! Cold blooded criminals. And seeing how I had no home, no family, and hardly any friends left, this man wanted to take me in and give me that. “So, young man, what do you think? Wanna be a pirate?” I thought to myself, “Pirate? You mean gangster?” But I had nothing left to lose, so when he extended the offer, I took it. “Yes!” Was all I could say to him.
    Last edited by atomik_sprout; Sep 04, 2007 at 11:03 AM.


  8. #8
    Otaku Dune Bashing In Dubai Champion, Yetisports 10 - Icicle Climb Champion, Yeti Bubbles Champion overload is off to a good start overload's Avatar
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    Re: When the past attacks

    Wow.......Wow.
    this is very good, and I can tell you that this must be read by many people.
    please write the next chapter.
    this is very spellbinding, and it keeps you it the world that the characters are in. so again well done

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