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Thread: Why Can't I say Goodbye: The Proposal

  1. #1
    Child Of God Kiani Haki22 is off to a good start Kiani Haki22's Avatar
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    Why Can't I say Goodbye: The Proposal

    I hate sitting here letting him hurt me. I wish I wouldn't fall for the ones who insist on causing me pain. I cry and cry at night but he just doesn’t see it. He is blind to me he does not understand how I love him so. If he could feel every shred of pain I feel he would know. But no he just doesn’t understand my feelings.

    Knock, knock. I guess I better answer it, it might be HIM. As Allen entered the room he said "Hey baby did you miss me?" NO why would I miss you that is what I wished I said but no like an idiot I was nice. "Yes I did so much." "That's good I missed you too." I couldn't be mean to him I love him so much and he is so sensitive. But I am so tired of being hurt.

    Then all of a sudden he drops to one knee. Oh no I can't marry him. "Lisa will you marry me I love you more than I could ever express." OH no what am I going to say I just don't know. "Lisa honey will you?" I fainted and fell to the ground. Before I hit the ground I thought oh boy like this is going to help my problem.

    "Lisa honey wake up, please wake up." I hate when she faints he thought to himself."Huh Allen what did you say." "Will you marry me?" "I don't know what to say." "Say yes." "Okay yes." "Yes I will love you forever." Oh man what did I get myself into? Shesh I am always doing this to myself.

    The next day:What did I just do?

    I am sitting here in my bed thinking why didn't I just say no, and then I wouldn’t be in this mess. "Hey honey I see your awake, well I made you breakfasts." "Oh thank you honey you didn't have to." "Well I figure I would make my lovely Fiance a lovely breakfast." "Well that was very sweet of you."

    He had gotten a worried look on his face and asked me "What's wrong honey you sound angry?" "Oh I am not angry I just didn't sleep well last night that’s all." "Oh ok as long as you’re not mad at me." "So one question when do you want the wedding Lisa?" "I don't know you choose." "Okay, I am going to go down stairs to call my parents with the news." "Okay."

    I got up and took a long shower. Ugh, why can't I just come out and say I do not want to marry you. What's so hard about that? OH yeah that's right I am too much of a chicken. I got up and took a shower.That's been a relaxing shower. To bad it couldn't solve my problems.

    I exited to my bedroom. "Oh hey honey you scared me, you know I scare easily." "Oh sorry honey I didn't mean to scare you I like the way you look when get done taking a shower; you look like an angel." "Awww, that's so sweet thanks honey." He walks up behind me and touches me softly. He kisses my cheek softly.

    I turn around, he whispers in my ear "I love you so much." "I love you too." He picks me up and lays me down on the bed. This is why I love him because of this, his sweet side. He kisses my neck softly and gently rubs his hand up my leg. He makes me feel helpless when he does that.
    Last edited by Kiani Haki22; Jul 28, 2008 at 03:48 PM. Reason: coloring

  2. #2
    Fallen Angel PhoenixSara may be famous one day PhoenixSara's Avatar
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    Re: Why Can't I say Goodbye: The Proposal

    this is good but it was like all of the emotions are all there and all i have to do is imagine but i do like the idea of the contradictions of the actions and the feelings all in one but maybe if you just implied a few things so that it's not so obvious it would make the reader imagine more.... this is just a suggestion.
    "In your arms is where i will be, I love you till my forever ends."
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  3. #3
    Child Of God Kiani Haki22 is off to a good start Kiani Haki22's Avatar
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    Re: Why Can't I say Goodbye: The Proposal

    Okay thank you......I will try to do that in the next chapter....

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    Otaku BrokenLover101 is off to a good start BrokenLover101's Avatar
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    Re: Why Can't I say Goodbye: The Proposal

    I like this one, it's better than your last but it still needs work.. >< I'm sorry, I know I'm being a B**** but I think you enjoy writing stories and should learn how to write them really good that way you could become an author someday...
    X.x.X The only thing I'll ever want... X.x.X

    X.x.X Is for you to love me the way I love you.. X.x.X

  5. #5
    Child Of God Kiani Haki22 is off to a good start Kiani Haki22's Avatar
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    Re: Why Can't I say Goodbye: The Proposal

    Thank you all I am starting on the next chapter.......and no I like this one better too the other one was a something I had to do for school.


    I am sorry I am having some writters block I will post a new chapter soon.
    Last edited by Kiani Haki22; Jul 24, 2008 at 11:40 PM.

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    Newbie animangagrl2772 is off to a good start animangagrl2772's Avatar
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    Re: Why Can't I say Goodbye: The Proposal

    i don't care anyone say it wuz beautiful b cuz it is true theirs alot of girls out there dat gets hurt the same way as dat character does...i do in fact, want 2 read ur first story if dats ok wit u..XD..continue ur story i loved it

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