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Thread: A World United

  1. #1
    Newbie 59wayz is off to a good start 59wayz's Avatar
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    A World United

    A World United

    Have you ever wondered what goes on in a killer’s mind? Have you thought of what leads someone to become insane? I can tell you what you need to know but are you really willing to hear the truth of it all? Do you want to know of the entire trauma a young man went through to lead him into insanity and eventually lead him into a career in being a serial killer? Then, let’s start from the beginning. Though I warn you, once you hear of his horrid and dark past you will perpetually fear the very whisper of the name Devon.

    This story begins in the late 2080’s. The world is torn between east and west continental military powers. The US is in the middle of a second civil war started by the 2008 presidential elections. After the assassination of President Marshall the country once again became divided. The North fighting the south over the imprisonment of the assassin. The South fighting for the rights to naming a new president. Currently the first woman president is running the country and a Hispanic woman runs the US army. The United States turmoil and violence has lasted for the last 72 years, but the war will soon stop. The north and south come to terms, but not over what the war was about. They had come upon agreement on bringing down the psychotic and sadistic serial killer known as Devon.

    The year is 2089. The Soviet Union is reborn. After claiming all of Europe and obtaining the aid of the Swedish and Norwegian, the Soviet Union slowly started to plan world domination. Soon after the take over of Europe trouble started to sprout up within the Soviet Union. Rumors of recent murders being of a killing spree. Soviets trembled and stayed in their homes. No one felt safe walking in the town. All feared the worst of being caught by the killer known to them as Mandingo. The communist powerhouse shortly began a search for their killer. Not aware that his presence is not going to be felt for another couple of years.

    Japan is the powerhouse of Asia in 2090. Their military and civilian numbers are not matched, nor defeated. Suddenly one day their numbers started to drop. More people were dying then who were born. Stories of a shadow demon walking the streets of Tokyo starting going about. Soon Tokyo’s busy streets started to drop in numbers also. At first no one believed the far-fetched story of a killer walking around Tokyo. Until countries lead was found sadistically murdered and put on display for the country to see. His dead carcass nailed upside down on his office door. His shirt torn off with a large cut from his naval to his jugular. He hangs there with his intestines hanging by his head and his heart forced into his mouth. Soon after the country went crazy. They searched high and low for their Shadow Demon. Yet they never found him, for he had left and went back home.

    The year is 2056. This is the year in which Devon was born. He we born in a small rural town outside of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. His parents lived on a next to nothing salary. Living in his grandmother’s home with his parents. Within the first two weeks of his birth there was already something noticeably strange about him. He never cries. Never even smiles. His expression is always the same. A dark, dull glare filled his pupils. Almost looks of deep hate. Devon’s family feared the worst. His parent’s think it may be a mental illness. No one would know. Until it became too late.

    Death

    The summer of 2074 is the summer that Devon’s rage began to emerge. He would often have a deep hateful stare. His body was always so stiff. He walked with much confidence. At times too much confidence. Devon never spoke to anyone. Almost seemed as if he avoided everyone. Until he finally snapped.

    Devon’s grandmother was the first. It was a sweltering night. His grandmother was washing her dishes when Devon walks through the back door with a hand axe.







    That's all I have for right now. I am open for advice and thoughts on what I have so far. I would appreciate it.

  2. #2
    Otaku Dune Bashing In Dubai Champion, Yetisports 10 - Icicle Climb Champion, Yeti Bubbles Champion overload is off to a good start overload's Avatar
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    Re: A World United

    Dude... this is very good,
    it reads like a Stephen King novel.
    I would like you to write some more please..
    and do not send this Devon after me... I have a shotgun and I
    am not afraid to use it.

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    Re: A World United

    Oh wow that was scary!!!I never really read a Stephen King novel but i hear they are good.oyur story is great!!hope to read more!!!

    'This world is trash. Cursed by the Fon Master...'

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    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    Re: A World United

    I must say that this is truly a creative piece of work here. I'd already read it long before you posted it, but I still gotta give ya props for this. ^_^

    I remember when it was in the prototype phase--when you had just started writing this--and only had about half a page written... On three consecutive pages, LOL. It has grown in to a magnificent story. I hope to see the final outcome of this! ^_^

    Good job, bro!


  5. #5
    Newbie 59wayz is off to a good start 59wayz's Avatar
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    Re: A World United

    Thanx for the input everyone. I forgot to mention that this is actually the beginning of the backstory to a game I plan to create. As a video game or board game, what does everyone believe I should do to make this better as an interactive game or board game. Or even both.

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    Otaku Dune Bashing In Dubai Champion, Yetisports 10 - Icicle Climb Champion, Yeti Bubbles Champion overload is off to a good start overload's Avatar
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    Re: A World United

    Well this would be better as a video game, not a board game.
    sorry but the imagination can only be released with hi-end graphics,
    and a really good atmosphere.

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