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Thread: Broken Body [July POTM Entry]

  1. #1
    Newbie LadyJuliaHale is off to a good start LadyJuliaHale's Avatar
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    Broken Body [July POTM Entry]

    Broken Body

    Freedom is something I surely lack,
    How can you learn how to hack
    At the chains that bind me here,
    Nothing passes but a single tear.

    Who knows how to break free?
    Who can figure out that this heart hurts me?
    No one understands,
    For the wind blows freely through my hands.

    Enough is enough,
    How can I begin to feel tough?
    How can I escape this broken body?
    Within this world that is so shoddy?

    Help me, oh please help me,
    Escape this darkness and become free.
    No one knows who I am,
    I am the water that breaks through this dam.
    I have finally become free.
    Last edited by LadyJuliaHale; Jul 27, 2009 at 04:12 PM.
    I'm standing in the dark calling your name, But when you don't answer,
    I realized everyday it's the same.

  2. #2
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    Re: Broken Body [July POTM Entry]

    Wow. You might be one of my new favorites here! I loved this. It flowed smoothly and was beautifully worded. I saw it... and I imagined what I thought everything was to be. And then, there's sort of a surprise at the end. Water. That little bit of unexpectedness wraps the poem up nicely.
    ... Not Ever Again...

  3. #3
    Newbie LadyJuliaHale is off to a good start LadyJuliaHale's Avatar
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    Re: Broken Body [July POTM Entry]

    Aww, thank you very much! It's weird, because once I read the theme for the POTM contest, it suddenly started flowing through my head like water. Quite ironic and strange.
    I'm standing in the dark calling your name, But when you don't answer,
    I realized everyday it's the same.

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    Banned chelsey is off to a good start chelsey's Avatar
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    Re: Broken Body [July POTM Entry]

    Wow i really like this one better tahn any other one

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    Newbie Dreaming girl is off to a good start Dreaming girl's Avatar
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    Re: Broken Body [July POTM Entry]

    Hey.......I love your pome it makes me feel that Iam not the onely one in pain
    you are great in writing pomes soooooooo keep on and you will Be the greatest one in here................
    and like what did she said you will be the one that every one like & wish to be like
    Your secret is your prisoner, if you let it out you become his prisoner

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    Banned aceman67 has become well known aceman67 has become well known aceman67 has become well known aceman67's Avatar
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    Re: Broken Body [July POTM Entry]

    Dead thread, closing.

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