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Thread: A fight for Your home

  1. #1
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    A fight for Your home

    I've managed to get to internet somehow just to enter this contest ^^ This is very long, but I hope it's nice enough to read. I'm experimenting
    a bit here, hope you like this...

    A fight for Your home

    As the wind touches the top of the grass,
    Earth seems to sing its own song.
    But the song of life is as fragile as glass-
    Men can break it, and it won’t take them long.

    The darkness rises
    And the battle begins.
    There are no chances
    For us it seems…

    The old and the wounded,
    They all are here,
    With clothing armored
    And weapons too heavy to bear.

    Yes, hope is fading
    In this fateful day,
    Seven weeks of waiting
    And now there’s no other way.

    This overwhelming silence,
    Moans and wails in the air
    And the gossip of their violence
    It’s all too hard to sustain…

    You look back at the fortress,
    You remember her smile
    And You pray love could outgo borders
    That death will draw in a while.

    Soon the enemy appears
    Walking in steady rows.
    Women wipe away their tears,
    Men get ready their bows.

    And there they stop,
    900 feet away
    Just far enough
    For an arrow to miss its prey.

    Armor of silver,
    Weapons of cold…
    It makes You shiver
    And Your sword to unfold.

    A war cry rings
    Right over Your defence
    But Your thoughts have wings-
    You answer with silence.

    ***

    Wind yet touches the grass…
    Rain washes away the blood.
    These are just ruins of life as it was alas-
    A tombstone to Your world.

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  2. #2
    Otaku Dune Bashing In Dubai Champion, Yetisports 10 - Icicle Climb Champion, Yeti Bubbles Champion overload is off to a good start overload's Avatar
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    Re: A fight for Your home

    this is a very good poem, even though I dont read poems all that much,
    I must just say BRAVO.

  3. #3
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    Re: A fight for Your home

    I really got chills reading this, and I got them right after reading the first stanza, it just digs right into you. This is very strong, with powerful imagery... And Im so satisfied (Ive been awaiting your entry ^^)
    Well, at least the rest of us can say we tried. (lol)
    ... Not Ever Again...

  4. #4
    Otaku ILikeApples5520 is off to a good start ILikeApples5520's Avatar
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    Re: A fight for Your home

    Yeah, I'm starting to feel like Peach here about my chances. lol

    I could vividly see every detail of this poem, some truly great imagery.

    I think this is so far the best entry.

    Next time I'll expand my POTM and make it epic, but mine now is too short.

    But wutev, live and learn

    Anyway, take the first POTM home for Cosa Nostra!


    Thanks to _gwenibe_ for this awesome sig!

  5. #5
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: A fight for Your home

    Thank You three!!!!! ^^ I hope this has only three coments because it's to long to read ^^ the other one had two times more ^^lol

    Thank You overload!!! I'm glad to see you liked this and believe me- AO hanges people and makes u love potry, I didn't like poetry that much too before I came here...

    Thank You Peach!!!!!! Thank You sooo much!!! You liking it gives me hope... great hope... It would be nice to win something here once in a while...

    And thank You IlikeApples!!!!!!! I sure would be glad if I won... but we'll see if I will... I'm not sure... Other poems were good too, though I haven't read them all yet, and yours was alike with this in theme and had... a different taste I think, something that's missing here.

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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    Rawr~ :3 Boxteroid Champion, flyplane Champion, Home Run Champion, Bubbelfutsch Champion, Fire Fighter Champion, Brendans Soccer Champion, Movie Star Match-Up Champion, Total blackout Champion, Text Your Reflexes Champion, Scary movie Champion, Hulk Smash Up Champion, Star Wars Champion, Extreme Snowboarding Champion, Air Disc Champion, Action Fish Champion, A Game Of 3 Halves Champion, Battleball Champion, Hacky Sack Champion, FAD 2003 Champion, SQRL Golf Champion, Dr Yeckyl and Mr Ride Champion, Sky Glide Champion, Flyer Champion, Finnair Champion, Drachenjagd Champion, Canyon Glider Champion, City Surfing Champion, Action Driving Game Champion, Extreme Rowing Champion, Kardahdg Champion, Acceleracers Track Mod Champion, Final Test Champion, Du Wichtel Champion, Pedal Power Champion, Camera Killer 2 Champion, Bike Mania on ICE Champion, ATV Winter Challenge Champion, Caliber Dash Champion, Diesel and Death Champion, Snow Ride Champion, Camera Killer Champion, Pepsi Jet Ski Champion, Bumper Cars Championship Champion, Drifting Champion, Get A Grip Champion, Rooney on the Rampage Champion, Death To Ninja Champion, Kung Fu Hustle 2 Champion, Muay Thai Champion, Metal Arm FAWEGE Champion, Knife Champion, Classroom Fighter Champion, Nobuyuki Forces 3 Champion, Caddeva Champion, Sewer Dweller Champion, Angel Mart Champion, Snowy Champion, Bola Champion, Boiler Room Champion, Bobcat Champion, Amazon Quest Champion, Booty Champion, Five Errors Champion, Mind Your Marbles Champion, Angel Fruit Champion, Binggrae Champion, Candy Shoot Champion, Imperial tiles Champion, Himalayaya - Yeti Strikes Back Champion, Terrorist Attack Champion, Americas Army Champion, Special Operations Champion, Destroy the robots Champion, Cubicle Warfare Champion, Battle Field Champion, Weapons Dealer Champion, Army Copter Champion, Flat War Champion, Terrorist Alert Champion, Bully Basher Champion, Reaktor Champion, Bungee Rescue Champion, The Contraptor Champion, Boris Champion, Carling Cold Champion, Paddleball Champion RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe's Avatar
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    Re: A fight for Your home

    a nicely done poem... my submitted poem can't compete that.. good job

    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
    I'm BACK AO!
    >>>facebook<<<

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    Otaku Nodes Champion, Flames of Fury Champion shadowrulz may be famous one day shadowrulz may be famous one day shadowrulz's Avatar
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    Re: A fight for Your home

    WOW. That's a exquisite poem. Unbelievably good. Great job. I don't think I stand a chance against it.

    A big thanks to Renn for the sig! THANK YOU!

  8. #8
    §-Breakdown-§ Breakout Champion, Bubble Popper Champion Akura13 may be famous one day Akura13's Avatar
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    Re: A fight for Your home

    Well, **** the poem I was about to make.....you are awsome at poem writing Lasura keep it up.



    Phantasmagoria Lives On In The Hearts Of Their Fans, Japanese AND English!
    "Because it's okay to hide your tears." - LM.C (Lovely Mocochang)

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