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Thread: Freestyle august entry (Sensual Love)

  1. #1
    Otaku Stickicide 2 Champion starfire1036 is making a name for themselves starfire1036 is making a name for themselves starfire1036's Avatar
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    Rememberence (Sensual Love)

    It is a dream?
    Maybe it's a memory.

    I'll never forget that feeling
    of you lying next to me.

    Ah, so soft,
    your skin against mine.

    A slight kiss,
    one so divine.

    That soft tickle,
    as my fingers ran across your skin.

    Deeply involved,
    the passion within.

    The sweat fell,
    from your body to mine.

    An "I love you",
    in an overwhelmed sigh.

    The room heated,
    with lust filled air.

    The sensual, sexual feeling
    when I tugged on your hair.

    My hand swept
    over your soft, smooth skin.

    The need to dip
    into love's sweeteest sin.

    My lips touched your's
    and in our own little we stayed.

    For you face in my hands once again,
    I prayed.

    That one night,
    in our hearts forever.

    That last night with you,
    I'll forever treasure.


    It seems that I've read the entry forum wrong. -Sadly frowns- I seem to have composed a poem for last years august entry but alass I have revised it to fit this years.
    Last edited by starfire1036; Sep 02, 2008 at 01:02 PM. Reason: new title

  2. #2
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    Re: Freestyle august entry (Sensual Love)

    Wow this was hot in more ways than one. I loved it. Very descriptive...
    ... Not Ever Again...

  3. #3
    Otaku Stickicide 2 Champion starfire1036 is making a name for themselves starfire1036 is making a name for themselves starfire1036's Avatar
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    Re: Freestyle august entry (Sensual Love)

    Quote Originally Posted by Peach_follows View Post
    Wow this was hot in more ways than one. I loved it. Very descriptive...
    i know. i posted it under last years thing x[ but glad u love it lol i had just got off the phone with my girlfriend when i wrote that.

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    Otaku Caixa 2006 Champion Corvus may be famous one day Corvus may be famous one day Corvus's Avatar
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    Re: Freestyle august entry (Sensual Love)

    sensual sexual is redundant.
    but forgiveable I guess.
    I like how the freestyle gives you liberty to move twist and shape the poem however you like anyother style would've been too rigid to capture the emotion you were trying to convey.
    I also like how you almost committed one of the writing world's greastest sins but avoided it slightly enough that your piece still has meaning.
    A well written poem.

    ... and join my rebellion against time.

  5. #5
    Legendary Otaku Happy Pill Champion, Monkey Mayhem Champion NeoDeath90 may be famous one day NeoDeath90 may be famous one day NeoDeath90's Avatar
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    Re: Freestyle august entry (Sensual Love)

    i must say you can certainly paint a picture, but unfortunately i think the theme for this months entry was rememberance.

    Its not too late though! i'd love to read more of your work.
    Why hello there!

  6. #6
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: Freestyle august entry (Sensual Love)

    A really nice poem, it even kinda made me horny XD really nice rythm and imaginery and everything else ^^ it is alltogether a really GREAT poem!!!! Sweet work!!!! However, I must agree with Neo and say that this is not what i was waiting for a topic "remembrance", it's good to be original of course, but this time.... >.<

    But great great poem ^^ i would like to see more from you also

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  7. #7
    Otaku Stickicide 2 Champion starfire1036 is making a name for themselves starfire1036 is making a name for themselves starfire1036's Avatar
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    Re: Freestyle august entry (Sensual Love)

    Quote Originally Posted by Lasura View Post
    A really nice poem, it even kinda made me horny XD really nice rythm and imaginery and everything else ^^ it is alltogether a really GREAT poem!!!! Sweet work!!!! However, I must agree with Neo and say that this is not what i was waiting for a topic "remembrance", it's good to be original of course, but this time.... >.<

    But great great poem ^^ i would like to see more from you also
    ah to this i have a response!!! i changed it to be in the past... if you read it, it is the person describing past actions to the lover as to refresh her memory.

    The actual poem it in my myspace blog of which i will post right here...

    there is a big difference so i tried to change it and u can give me a lil credit for that so here it is... the origional work of art
    Ah, so soft,
    your skin against mine.

    A slight kiss,
    one so divine.

    That soft tickle,
    my fingers run across your skin.

    Deeply involved,
    with desire's greatest sin.

    The sweat falls,
    from your body to mine.

    An "I love you",
    in an overwhelmed sigh.

    The room heated,
    with lust filled air.

    The sensual, sexual feeling
    when I tug on your hair.

    My hand sweeps
    over your soft, smooth skin.

    The need to dip
    into love's sweeteest sin.

    My lips touch your's
    and in our own little would we stay.

    Tired we fall asleep,
    until the next day.

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