Froze

*RayMe* · Aug 12, 2007, 05:38 AM

Frozen

Solid.
Hard like a rock.
The sea is frozen still.
Mists of vapour fill the air.

In the middle,
my heart beats slowly.
Under the frozen thick layer of ice.
Almost completely froze.

Cold.
The times of being alone.
I can only sigh about it,
while it slowly gets wintery in there.

Tormenting the warm soul.
I can not hold much longer.
My source of light is gone.
I need to melt down this hell.

Dark.
Like a room with no opening.
Trapped in a cube.
No where to go and no escape.

Putting a smiling mask.
Conceal the tears and red eyes.
I want to show my true face,
yet i don't want to gloom others.

Waits.
Theres nothing else i can do.
How long can i keep this up.
It is challenging my wits and endurance.

I won't hold for long.
Icy walls are falling and opening new wounds.
I am trying my best.
I hope you can be here sooner.

The faster the better,
before another light wash away the winter.
Before it melts all the ice away.
Before it is too late.
Before i am gone.

ice viper · Aug 12, 2007, 06:26 AM

Rayme!!!! A good poem, sounds like someone who hides thier heart. Not letting anyone see the wounds from past relationships.

*RayMe* · Aug 12, 2007, 06:28 AM

It's cold @.@ *shivers on the ground* oh hey ice ^^ thx for the comment..

im glad u like my humble poem...

Peach_follows · Aug 12, 2007, 09:00 AM

Chilling.. literally. You captured some really raw emotions in this. depression, and the need to supress it for the sake of others. You put the ice in isolation. (yeah... that was a lame joke).

*RayMe* · Aug 13, 2007, 12:37 AM

*laughs* im lamer then for laughing at the joke?

^^ ty for the comment again! ^^

demonoflight · Aug 16, 2007, 05:24 AM

your poem isn't bad, but then it's not what i am used to reading or writing for that matter, practice makes perfect and you're close...

*RayMe* · Aug 16, 2007, 06:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by demonoflight

your poem isn't bad, but then it's not what i am used to reading or writing for that matter, practice makes perfect and you're close...

Thx for being honest ^^ *bows* i'll do better next time...

!Jamie5192 · Aug 19, 2007, 08:39 PM

*reaches out and touches you from behind* ray... it's a good poem and i like it.
It speaks to the heart and shows emotion that i used to feel was all i had. *holds out my hand*

*RayMe* · Aug 20, 2007, 12:11 AM

*screams like a girl* oh god jamie... @.@ u scared me...

thx

i did my best

Aug 12, 2007, 05:38 AM	#1 (permalink)
RayMe 1 )3^^( )N Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Somewhere i would love to leave right now for somewhere better... Posts: 3,589 Thanks: 54 Thanked 26 Times in 23 Posts Credits: 58,560	Froze Frozen Solid. Hard like a rock. The sea is frozen still. Mists of vapour fill the air. In the middle, my heart beats slowly. Under the frozen thick layer of ice. Almost completely froze. Cold. The times of being alone. I can only sigh about it, while it slowly gets wintery in there. Tormenting the warm soul. I can not hold much longer. My source of light is gone. I need to melt down this hell. Dark. Like a room with no opening. Trapped in a cube. No where to go and no escape. Putting a smiling mask. Conceal the tears and red eyes. I want to show my true face, yet i don't want to gloom others. Waits. Theres nothing else i can do. How long can i keep this up. It is challenging my wits and endurance. I won't hold for long. Icy walls are falling and opening new wounds. I am trying my best. I hope you can be here sooner. The faster the better, before another light wash away the winter. Before it melts all the ice away. Before it is too late. Before i am gone. __________________ Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!! The best ever Lasura~! >>>myspace<<<
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Aug 12, 2007, 06:26 AM	#2 (permalink)
ice viper Diamond in the Rough Join Date: May 2007 Location: I'm lost Posts: 212 Thanks: 5 Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts Credits: 3,374	Re: Froze Rayme!!!! A good poem, sounds like someone who hides thier heart. Not letting anyone see the wounds from past relationships.
Status: Offline

Aug 12, 2007, 06:28 AM	#3 (permalink)
RayMe 1 )3^^( )N Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Somewhere i would love to leave right now for somewhere better... Posts: 3,589 Thanks: 54 Thanked 26 Times in 23 Posts Credits: 58,560	Re: Froze It's cold @.@ shivers on the ground oh hey ice ^^ thx for the comment.. im glad u like my humble poem... __________________ Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!! The best ever Lasura~! >>>myspace<<<
Status: Offline

Aug 12, 2007, 09:00 AM	#4 (permalink)
Peach_follows Still pointing the sword? Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Friendly Fridley Posts: 972 Thanks: 28 Thanked 18 Times in 18 Posts Credits: 10,645	Re: Froze Chilling.. literally. You captured some really raw emotions in this. depression, and the need to supress it for the sake of others. You put the ice in isolation. (yeah... that was a lame joke). __________________ I will give you a son....
Status: Offline

Aug 13, 2007, 12:37 AM	#5 (permalink)
RayMe 1 )3^^( )N Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Somewhere i would love to leave right now for somewhere better... Posts: 3,589 Thanks: 54 Thanked 26 Times in 23 Posts Credits: 58,560	Re: Froze laughs im lamer then for laughing at the joke? ^^ ty for the comment again! ^^ __________________ Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!! The best ever Lasura~! >>>myspace<<<
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Aug 16, 2007, 05:24 AM	#6 (permalink)
demonoflight Newbie Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: lima, oh Posts: 28 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 78	Re: Froze your poem isn't bad, but then it's not what i am used to reading or writing for that matter, practice makes perfect and you're close... __________________ "expect the unexpected, life changes in an instant"
Status: Offline

Aug 19, 2007, 08:39 PM	#8 (permalink)
!Jamie5192 Banned Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 377 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: -184	Re: Froze reaches out and touches you from behind ray... it's a good poem and i like it. It speaks to the heart and shows emotion that i used to feel was all i had. holds out my hand
Status: Offline

Aug 20, 2007, 12:11 AM	#9 (permalink)
RayMe 1 )3^^( )N Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Somewhere i would love to leave right now for somewhere better... Posts: 3,589 Thanks: 54 Thanked 26 Times in 23 Posts Credits: 58,560	Re: Froze screams like a girl oh god jamie... @.@ u scared me... thx i did my best __________________ Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!! The best ever Lasura~! >>>myspace<<<
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