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Oct 11, 2007, 02:17 AM
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  1 )3^^( )N  Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Somewhere i would love to leave right now for somewhere better...
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 Credits: 59,725 | Ghosts? Ghost? Restless, tossing myself all over the bed. Half asleep, It feels like something is not right tonight. Sighs,... Staring at the ceiling, wondering why i can't sleep. The bed is a mess now, With heavy eyes and fatigued body... "let me sleep" ... The window slowly opens... Not noticing it until the wind suddenly blows in. The candle lit room is now dark as night... Chilling....and cold... The breeze blows violently in a forceful way, causing the window to flap like a bird's wings. Hugging tighter to the pillow, then sits up and decides to close the window. Stops... my body becomes frozen still... Theres "something" coming in from the window. Unseen...Invisible...(i can feel it)..and it's not wind. Certain, It's definitely there... i can feel it... Hundreds of questions storm in my mind... Mostly was, "what should i do?" My hair stands like a witch's cat. "It's....coming,,,," i whispered to myself. "Run~!" "Pretend you are sleeping~!" so many suggestions... Confused...My inner selves fighting against each other. Then one of them says, "It's too late guys..." The bed sinks with two forms of human hands, getting nearer each second... Until it's over me...(Lying helplessly)...The icy figure stays still... My eyes widens... An icy breath hits my neck. My legs trembles....Im breathing incoherently...Panic attacks... Im scared now...Very scared...So terrified i will pass out or pee anytime. Suddenly a cold hand rubs my cheek softly gently...(My heart beats faster)... With love and care...(it relaxes me up a bit) makes question arises again in my thoughts. Then a soft and sweet gentle kiss touches my lips...(my soul almost sprung out).. Suddenly the figure dissapears... Like a fog... It's no more now... My stress is gone too... and so does my consiousness... Waking up the next morning, I kept thinking what happened last night. I thought it was a dream, but,...where did that sweet scent in my room came from? __________________________________________________ _______ Hmm... not a very good 1... :/ sheesh... but i did my best..  ^^ |
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Oct 11, 2007, 03:45 AM
| #2 (permalink) |
 Otaku  Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Denmark
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Credits: 2,476 | Re: Ghosts? Commercial Break: If all this should happen to you.... Then call the "Ghostbusters"  __________________________________________________ A really good poem Ray.... Really exciting keep it up ^^
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Oct 11, 2007, 04:35 AM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Otaku  Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: In the Pearl of the Orient
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Credits: 1,547 | Re: Ghosts? Wow! I lovee this poem that you made Rayme =^_^=. Honestly, i was scared due your detailed and descriptive informations. I felt like chilling and shivering after reading your poem. I liked the style that you used, because I rarely see styles like this. The flow of the poem is smooth. The poem transitions is awesome too! I was surprised at the twist in the latter part of the poem... the horror feeling changed into something romantic or so. ^^ >>> that ghost took a kiss. lol<<<< KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!! >hmmm... i dunno if I can sleep now... wahehehe j/k<
__________________  Thank you very much,Reese for this wonderful signature ^_^ |
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Oct 11, 2007, 10:11 AM
| #4 (permalink) |
| 1 )3^^( )N Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Somewhere i would love to leave right now for somewhere better...
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Credits: 59,725 | Re: Ghosts? the rapist ghost.. i might turn into this ghost if i die.. XDxD funny 1 there...i doubt u will call em...u'd rather have a "rocking" night with the ghost i'd say XD sure ^^ i will do so Raja..  thx...aww... it's not scary.. |
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Oct 11, 2007, 12:38 PM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Diamond in the Rough  Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: On the farside of the Moon.
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Credits: 13,074 | Re: Ghosts? Rayme.... I thought you were more of an enviromentist? so why is poem been written? nah just kidding....hahaha I like it, I really do.
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Oct 11, 2007, 12:48 PM
| #6 (permalink) |
| 1 )3^^( )N Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Somewhere i would love to leave right now for somewhere better...
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Credits: 59,725 | Re: Ghosts? xD well environmental guy has "imaginations" too  i wanna write a wide area of poem genre... i wanna gain as much experience in poem.. i wrote dark poems better for ur info ^^ my gf loves em... |
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Oct 13, 2007, 09:54 AM
| #7 (permalink) |
| Moving right along....  Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Friendly Fridley
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Credits: 3,643 | Re: Ghosts? This was really cool. Like a sreenwrite! I was stuck to it like glue. Then I read this: "Im scared now...Very scared...So terrified i will pass out or pee anytime." And it added some comic relief. "Pee" is such a great word. Seriously.
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Oct 13, 2007, 10:01 AM
| #8 (permalink) |
| 1 )3^^( )N Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Somewhere i would love to leave right now for somewhere better...
Posts: 3,612
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Credits: 59,725 | Re: Ghosts? xD a very good word indeed Well.. my head was quite a mess.. i am looking at sad,funny,scary and romantic stuff at the same time.. thus.. this poem came xD really? a screen write? im thingking of making a fan fic.. |
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Oct 14, 2007, 10:20 PM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Otaku  Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Mo city texas ^^
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Credits: 3,325 | Re: Ghosts? i really liked it!!^^ especially when you wrote, "The window slowly opens... Not noticing it until the wind suddenly blows in. The candle lit room is now dark as night... Chilling....and cold... The breeze blows violently in a forceful way, causing the window to flap like a bird's wings. Hugging tighter to the pillow, then sits up and decides to close the window." very good use in details throughout the poem and nice use of metaphors =] good job!
__________________  thank you so much __gwenibe__!!!^^ www.myspace.com/tallchocolatebeauty  click my egg so it can GROW |
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Oct 15, 2007, 02:56 AM
| #10 (permalink) |
| 1 )3^^( )N Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Somewhere i would love to leave right now for somewhere better...
Posts: 3,612
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Thanked 28 Times in 25 Posts
Credits: 59,725 | Re: Ghosts? xD ty ^^ im glad you liked that part... i was sitting on my bed while imagining that... hmm...i have no window like that though.. ty very much lil sis |
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Oct 15, 2007, 03:22 AM
| #11 (permalink) |
| Angelic  Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: In a Demon's Arms
Posts: 1,872
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Credits: 49,619 | Re: Ghosts? Hmmm... I hope that ghost was of your girlfriend... O.o *giggles* It had a nice scary feeling in it, but I'm willing to try and beat it, if I get the time. It might be impossible to beat you in scary poems but I'm up for all the impossible things, otherways I wouldn't have taken part of all those SOTW and stuff... *sigh* Lasura- always ready to lose  Nice work Ray, I missed these scary ones a lot... I'm waiting for the next one as always... |
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