Thread: I still love you.

I lay in bed, crying. Avoiding sleep. Trying not to dream of you again.
Such beautiful dreams, they frighten me. They remind me that I still love you.
Despite all the pain we’ve put each other through. Even though I know you loathe all that I am.
You hate me. Because I did not let my love rest. When all you wanted was anyone but me.
Laying against my tears for a pillow. Wrapped in your hatred for a blanket.
With my thoughts as a lullaby. I sleep.

I STILL LOVE YOU.

Feeling a pressure on my bed. My eyes thrust open, to the sight of you.
Before I can react, your hands wrap around my neck. Your thumbs insert deep into my throat.
In a panic, my legs kick. My arms flail about. But I will not fight you for this.
No clawing. No scratching. I wont reach out to save myself.
Instead I clutch on to the shoulder of your shirt.
And though, they are becoming ever more lifeless… My eyes stare back at yours.
Such a passionate stare, as if they could speak. Telling you its okay.
Telling you I forgive you, even for this. No matter what….

I STILL LOVE YOU.

My muscles tighten. The panicky motions die down. Now just small spasms.
A warm feeling rushes through me. My hands release their grasp.
But before my right hand falls completely, it gently strokes your cheek.
Laying still. With virtually no life left in me. I feel the last sensation my body will endure.
Like millions of needles. Penetrating every inch of me. The last thought passes through my mind…

I STILL LOVE YOU.

Suddenly, I find myself hovering over us. I see my face. Eyes bulging, protruding tongue.
Watching as you cover me with a sheet from my very own bed.
I look at your face. A blank expression. I see no remorse, except a single tear.
I try to catch it, but it moves right through me. I try to hold you, but you only shiver.
To you, I’m nothing more than a chill up your spine. A fading whisper.
I no longer exist in your world… So you can’t hate me any longer.
I’ll never leave your side again. Even if it means I must watch you love another.
Every night I’ll haunt your dreams. Like you’ve haunted mine for so long. So long…

I STILL LOVE YOU.

But wait! Something is happening…. Something is pulling me back!
My eyes open. The sun is up. And, you are gone.
It was all a dream.
You still hate me, and….

I STILL LOVE YOU.

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***This is based very losely on emotions I've felt. And a dream I had. But most of it is fiction. So, please don't make assumptions about my personality based on this.