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Thread: I still love you.

  1. #1
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    I still love you.

    I lay in bed, crying. Avoiding sleep. Trying not to dream of you again.
    Such beautiful dreams, they frighten me. They remind me that I still love you.
    Despite all the pain we’ve put each other through. Even though I know you loathe all that I am.
    You hate me. Because I did not let my love rest. When all you wanted was anyone but me.
    Laying against my tears for a pillow. Wrapped in your hatred for a blanket.
    With my thoughts as a lullaby. I sleep.

    I STILL LOVE YOU.

    Feeling a pressure on my bed. My eyes thrust open, to the sight of you.
    Before I can react, your hands wrap around my neck. Your thumbs insert deep into my throat.
    In a panic, my legs kick. My arms flail about. But I will not fight you for this.
    No clawing. No scratching. I wont reach out to save myself.
    Instead I clutch on to the shoulder of your shirt.
    And though, they are becoming ever more lifeless… My eyes stare back at yours.
    Such a passionate stare, as if they could speak. Telling you its okay.
    Telling you I forgive you, even for this. No matter what….

    I STILL LOVE YOU.

    My muscles tighten. The panicky motions die down. Now just small spasms.
    A warm feeling rushes through me. My hands release their grasp.
    But before my right hand falls completely, it gently strokes your cheek.
    Laying still. With virtually no life left in me. I feel the last sensation my body will endure.
    Like millions of needles. Penetrating every inch of me. The last thought passes through my mind…

    I STILL LOVE YOU.

    Suddenly, I find myself hovering over us. I see my face. Eyes bulging, protruding tongue.
    Watching as you cover me with a sheet from my very own bed.
    I look at your face. A blank expression. I see no remorse, except a single tear.
    I try to catch it, but it moves right through me. I try to hold you, but you only shiver.
    To you, I’m nothing more than a chill up your spine. A fading whisper.
    I no longer exist in your world… So you can’t hate me any longer.
    I’ll never leave your side again. Even if it means I must watch you love another.
    Every night I’ll haunt your dreams. Like you’ve haunted mine for so long. So long…

    I STILL LOVE YOU.

    But wait! Something is happening…. Something is pulling me back!
    My eyes open. The sun is up. And, you are gone.
    It was all a dream.
    You still hate me, and….

    I STILL LOVE YOU.



    __________________________________________________ ____________

    ***This is based very losely on emotions I've felt. And a dream I had. But most of it is fiction. So, please don't make assumptions about my personality based on this.
    Last edited by Peach_follows; Oct 29, 2007 at 12:13 AM.
    ... Not Ever Again...

  2. #2
    Devoted Otaku bratling may be famous one day bratling's Avatar
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    Re: I still love you.

    You are very correct in saying this style is new for you, but I really, really like it. In and of it's self. But you make the poem as a whole so much better because the wording, the :story" and the flow of it is all fantastic and intriguing aswell. Good luck.

    You never really loved me/You never really cared/It was all just a game to boost your ego/Those feelings never really there/ I'm filing emotional bankruptcy/My heart can take no more debt/Theres no more "money" there to spend. === Besides tee hee SHE loves me!

  3. #3
    Otaku Inuruto is off to a good start Inuruto's Avatar
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    Re: I still love you.

    WOW!!! Everytime I read your work you seem to get better & better... You always seem to woo me, so to speak... I loved how you captured the feelings/emotions of someone who's in love & how that love isn't returned... Or is it cause you could love someone so much that you hate them & it can go either way... And they say love can = death so I give you a plus on this writing... Keep up the excellent work...

    The heart can't lie... Truth is... I love you!!!

  4. #4
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    Re: I still love you.

    Thank you both... Its a stretch, I know. Im certain its the longest thing I've ever written on here. And Im not sure how scary it is. Although, loving someone whos choking the sh*t out of you sounds pretty scary to me.
    ... Not Ever Again...

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    Rawr~ :3 Boxteroid Champion, flyplane Champion, Home Run Champion, Bubbelfutsch Champion, Fire Fighter Champion, Brendans Soccer Champion, Movie Star Match-Up Champion, Total blackout Champion, Text Your Reflexes Champion, Scary movie Champion, Hulk Smash Up Champion, Star Wars Champion, Extreme Snowboarding Champion, Air Disc Champion, Action Fish Champion, A Game Of 3 Halves Champion, Battleball Champion, Hacky Sack Champion, FAD 2003 Champion, SQRL Golf Champion, Dr Yeckyl and Mr Ride Champion, Sky Glide Champion, Flyer Champion, Finnair Champion, Drachenjagd Champion, Canyon Glider Champion, City Surfing Champion, Action Driving Game Champion, Extreme Rowing Champion, Kardahdg Champion, Acceleracers Track Mod Champion, Final Test Champion, Du Wichtel Champion, Pedal Power Champion, Camera Killer 2 Champion, Bike Mania on ICE Champion, ATV Winter Challenge Champion, Caliber Dash Champion, Diesel and Death Champion, Snow Ride Champion, Camera Killer Champion, Pepsi Jet Ski Champion, Bumper Cars Championship Champion, Drifting Champion, Get A Grip Champion, Rooney on the Rampage Champion, Death To Ninja Champion, Kung Fu Hustle 2 Champion, Muay Thai Champion, Metal Arm FAWEGE Champion, Knife Champion, Classroom Fighter Champion, Nobuyuki Forces 3 Champion, Caddeva Champion, Sewer Dweller Champion, Angel Mart Champion, Snowy Champion, Bola Champion, Boiler Room Champion, Bobcat Champion, Amazon Quest Champion, Booty Champion, Five Errors Champion, Mind Your Marbles Champion, Angel Fruit Champion, Binggrae Champion, Candy Shoot Champion, Imperial tiles Champion, Himalayaya - Yeti Strikes Back Champion, Terrorist Attack Champion, Americas Army Champion, Special Operations Champion, Destroy the robots Champion, Cubicle Warfare Champion, Battle Field Champion, Weapons Dealer Champion, Army Copter Champion, Flat War Champion, Terrorist Alert Champion, Bully Basher Champion, Reaktor Champion, Bungee Rescue Champion, The Contraptor Champion, Boris Champion, Carling Cold Champion, Paddleball Champion RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe's Avatar
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    Re: I still love you.

    umm... my @.@ *clears throat* Looove~ the descriptions there.. ^^ nice ly done keep it up~! ^^

    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
    I'm BACK AO!
    >>>facebook<<<

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    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: I still love you.

    Oh wow.... this is nice...And this is a very different way of talking about the theme... I wouldn't put in the last stranza- it would take out the reality of this poem, but leave a better impression on the reader...

    Anyways, this is a great, great work. And I think this is the best of the entries, but we'll see ^^ Good luck!!!!

    I missed your works and I really want to see some more again... ^^

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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