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Thread: The King Who Gave All for Everyone

  1. #1
    Ever So Awesome Kaboom Champion, Archery Champion, Crazy Pool 2 Champion, Ninja-Boy Champion, Bubble Shooter Champion zyta may be famous one day zyta may be famous one day zyta's Avatar
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    The King Who Gave All for Everyone

    The King Who Gave All for Everyone
    By: Zyta

    He wore a crown, this king of old.
    One of crimson, spite, and thorn.
    King of the Jews, they called him.
    They shouted his name, calling to…
    They looked on their king with remorse…

    Dying… he bled for you.
    Living… he cried for you.
    You, who accepted him, found love.
    The rest, including I, turn our backs.
    What king is he, we called to all.

    Alone the king traversed.
    In a pack of ravenous soldiers
    Jabbing him all o’er with the butt of their spear.
    Never wincing once, he walks on…
    The worst was yet to come.

    My friend, will you listen to my tale?
    Will you let me take you to Heaven?
    The king once said to me,
    Now look at yourself, I think
    You can’t even take yourself to Heaven.

    Nailed by the hands and feet
    He is forced on the splint to swing.
    Blood drip, drip, dripping on the wood
    Staining it crimson, the king cries.
    He falls silent as the hours pass.

    The king looks to the sky
    Hoped fills the brim of his eye.
    Suddenly he falls limp, with blood
    Cascading… to the Earth.
    Here lies Jesus, King of the Jews…

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    Banned Big Bird Hunting Champion, Magic Ball Champion, Buzzer Champion, Book Worm Champion, Dragonfly Champion, Add It Up Champion, Trivial Blitz 2 Champion KimiFemi is off to a good start KimiFemi's Avatar
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    Re: The King Who Gave All for Everyone

    >.< I really liked this poem. felt it needed more and didnt flow too well for me but it was very moving and unexpected.

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    Ever So Awesome Kaboom Champion, Archery Champion, Crazy Pool 2 Champion, Ninja-Boy Champion, Bubble Shooter Champion zyta may be famous one day zyta may be famous one day zyta's Avatar
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    Re: The King Who Gave All for Everyone

    o__o everyone so far that has read it has complained that it was too short. Why is that?

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    Otaku Nodes Champion, Flames of Fury Champion shadowrulz may be famous one day shadowrulz may be famous one day shadowrulz's Avatar
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    Re: The King Who Gave All for Everyone

    Wow. . . That is unbelievably good. I liked the description of everything. It really shows a true struggle. It did end quite suddenly though.

    A big thanks to Renn for the sig! THANK YOU!

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    Otaku Saionji is off to a good start
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    Re: The King Who Gave All for Everyone

    Yeah, I felt like I was in the poem when I read that, very touching.
    I like the whole storyline to it as well, it just interests me.
    Thanks for writing, and keep writing more! ;D
    Continuous effort-Not strength or intelligence- is the key to unlocking our potential.

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    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    Re: The King Who Gave All for Everyone

    I too, had the idea of writing a poem about Jesus... but not so much about his crucifiction. Im second guessing myself now... Another Jesus based poem will seem unoriginal (now that you've beat me to it).

    None the less, this was an interesting poem. Unique topic >_^ . Kudos.
    ... Not Ever Again...

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    Chtonian Slayer Astaroth may be famous one day Astaroth's Avatar
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    Re: The King Who Gave All for Everyone

    I always found that writing poem about religious subjects is always the hardest thing to do.....
    but you clearly mastered this element in this poem...
    the rhythm was superb and you clearly portrayed your whole view about the topic of your poem and it created a solid atmosphere..
    \this is excellent work Zyta....
    I applaud you....
    DO NOT MAKE ME UNLEASH MY INNER DEMON

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