The King Who Gave All for Everyone

zyta · Mar 10, 2008, 11:52 AM

The King Who Gave All for Everyone
By: Zyta

He wore a crown, this king of old.
One of crimson, spite, and thorn.
King of the Jews, they called him.
They shouted his name, calling to…
They looked on their king with remorse…

Dying… he bled for you.
Living… he cried for you.
You, who accepted him, found love.
The rest, including I, turn our backs.
What king is he, we called to all.

Alone the king traversed.
In a pack of ravenous soldiers
Jabbing him all o’er with the butt of their spear.
Never wincing once, he walks on…
The worst was yet to come.

My friend, will you listen to my tale?
Will you let me take you to Heaven?
The king once said to me,
Now look at yourself, I think
You can’t even take yourself to Heaven.

Nailed by the hands and feet
He is forced on the splint to swing.
Blood drip, drip, dripping on the wood
Staining it crimson, the king cries.
He falls silent as the hours pass.

The king looks to the sky
Hoped fills the brim of his eye.
Suddenly he falls limp, with blood
Cascading… to the Earth.
Here lies Jesus, King of the Jews…

KimiFemi · Mar 11, 2008, 01:40 PM

>.< I really liked this poem. felt it needed more and didnt flow too well for me but it was very moving and unexpected.

zyta · Mar 11, 2008, 05:48 PM

o__o everyone so far that has read it has complained that it was too short. Why is that?

shadowrulz · Mar 14, 2008, 04:00 PM

Wow. . . That is unbelievably good. I liked the description of everything. It really shows a true struggle. It did end quite suddenly though.

Saionji · Mar 14, 2008, 09:51 PM

Yeah, I felt like I was in the poem when I read that, very touching.
I like the whole storyline to it as well, it just interests me.
Thanks for writing, and keep writing more! ;D

Peach_follows · Mar 23, 2008, 12:37 PM

I too, had the idea of writing a poem about Jesus... but not so much about his crucifiction. Im second guessing myself now... Another Jesus based poem will seem unoriginal (now that you've beat me to it).

None the less, this was an interesting poem. Unique topic >_^ . Kudos.

Astaroth · Mar 26, 2008, 02:37 PM

I always found that writing poem about religious subjects is always the hardest thing to do.....
but you clearly mastered this element in this poem...
the rhythm was superb and you clearly portrayed your whole view about the topic of your poem and it created a solid atmosphere..
\this is excellent work Zyta....
I applaud you....

Mar 10, 2008, 11:52 AM	#1 (permalink)
zyta Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Lional - You will not find it unless I finish making it Posts: 409 Thanks: 5 Thanked 11 Times in 11 Posts Credits: 19,540	The King Who Gave All for Everyone The King Who Gave All for Everyone By: Zyta He wore a crown, this king of old. One of crimson, spite, and thorn. King of the Jews, they called him. They shouted his name, calling to… They looked on their king with remorse… Dying… he bled for you. Living… he cried for you. You, who accepted him, found love. The rest, including I, turn our backs. What king is he, we called to all. Alone the king traversed. In a pack of ravenous soldiers Jabbing him all o’er with the butt of their spear. Never wincing once, he walks on… The worst was yet to come. My friend, will you listen to my tale? Will you let me take you to Heaven? The king once said to me, Now look at yourself, I think You can’t even take yourself to Heaven. Nailed by the hands and feet He is forced on the splint to swing. Blood drip, drip, dripping on the wood Staining it crimson, the king cries. He falls silent as the hours pass. The king looks to the sky Hoped fills the brim of his eye. Suddenly he falls limp, with blood Cascading… to the Earth. Here lies Jesus, King of the Jews… __________________
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Mar 11, 2008, 01:40 PM	#2 (permalink)
KimiFemi Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: So many places... I cant remember ... Posts: 475 Thanks: 1 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts Credits: 4,204	Re: The King Who Gave All for Everyone >.< I really liked this poem. felt it needed more and didnt flow too well for me but it was very moving and unexpected. __________________ Secret Love "Love everyone unless they dont love you back" http://z13.invisionfree.com/Deaths_d...ex.php?act=idx
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Mar 11, 2008, 05:48 PM	#3 (permalink)
zyta Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Lional - You will not find it unless I finish making it Posts: 409 Thanks: 5 Thanked 11 Times in 11 Posts Credits: 19,540	Re: The King Who Gave All for Everyone o__o everyone so far that has read it has complained that it was too short. Why is that? __________________
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Mar 14, 2008, 04:00 PM	#4 (permalink)
shadowrulz Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: the sign says "in a black hole". Is that even possible?!?! Posts: 351 Thanks: 4 Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts Credits: 4,899	Re: The King Who Gave All for Everyone Wow. . . That is unbelievably good. I liked the description of everything. It really shows a true struggle. It did end quite suddenly though. __________________ COME JOIN IN THE FUN OF THE GREAT EPIC TALE OF FANTASY!!!!
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Mar 14, 2008, 09:51 PM	#5 (permalink)
Saionji Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 166 Thanks: 1 Thanked 10 Times in 10 Posts Credits: 1,385	Re: The King Who Gave All for Everyone Yeah, I felt like I was in the poem when I read that, very touching. I like the whole storyline to it as well, it just interests me. Thanks for writing, and keep writing more! ;D __________________ Continuous effort-Not strength or intelligence- is the key to unlocking our potential.
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Mar 23, 2008, 12:37 PM	#6 (permalink)
Peach_follows Still pointing the sword? Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Friendly Fridley Posts: 927 Thanks: 21 Thanked 14 Times in 14 Posts Credits: 6,242	Re: The King Who Gave All for Everyone I too, had the idea of writing a poem about Jesus... but not so much about his crucifiction. Im second guessing myself now... Another Jesus based poem will seem unoriginal (now that you've beat me to it). None the less, this was an interesting poem. Unique topic >_^ . Kudos. __________________ I will give you a son....
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Mar 26, 2008, 02:37 PM	#7 (permalink)
Astaroth Chtonian Slayer Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: In the deepest, darkest place of hell.....my heart Posts: 534 Thanks: 23 Thanked 44 Times in 42 Posts Credits: 25,947	Re: The King Who Gave All for Everyone I always found that writing poem about religious subjects is always the hardest thing to do..... but you clearly mastered this element in this poem... the rhythm was superb and you clearly portrayed your whole view about the topic of your poem and it created a solid atmosphere.. \this is excellent work Zyta.... I applaud you.... __________________ Without courage, all other virtues lose their meaning.
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