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>.< I really liked this poem. felt it needed more and didnt flow too well for me but it was very moving and unexpected.
The King Who Gave All for Everyone
By: Zyta
He wore a crown, this king of old.
One of crimson, spite, and thorn.
King of the Jews, they called him.
They shouted his name, calling to…
They looked on their king with remorse…
Dying… he bled for you.
Living… he cried for you.
You, who accepted him, found love.
The rest, including I, turn our backs.
What king is he, we called to all.
Alone the king traversed.
In a pack of ravenous soldiers
Jabbing him all o’er with the butt of their spear.
Never wincing once, he walks on…
The worst was yet to come.
My friend, will you listen to my tale?
Will you let me take you to Heaven?
The king once said to me,
Now look at yourself, I think
You can’t even take yourself to Heaven.
Nailed by the hands and feet
He is forced on the splint to swing.
Blood drip, drip, dripping on the wood
Staining it crimson, the king cries.
He falls silent as the hours pass.
The king looks to the sky
Hoped fills the brim of his eye.
Suddenly he falls limp, with blood
Cascading… to the Earth.
Here lies Jesus, King of the Jews…
>.< I really liked this poem. felt it needed more and didnt flow too well for me but it was very moving and unexpected.
o__o everyone so far that has read it has complained that it was too short. Why is that?
Wow. . . That is unbelievably good. I liked the description of everything. It really shows a true struggle. It did end quite suddenly though.
A big thanks to Renn for the sig! THANK YOU!
Yeah, I felt like I was in the poem when I read that, very touching.
I like the whole storyline to it as well, it just interests me.
Thanks for writing, and keep writing more! ;D
Continuous effort-Not strength or intelligence- is the key to unlocking our potential.
I too, had the idea of writing a poem about Jesus... but not so much about his crucifiction. Im second guessing myself now... Another Jesus based poem will seem unoriginal (now that you've beat me to it).
None the less, this was an interesting poem. Unique topic >_^ . Kudos.
... Not Ever Again...
I always found that writing poem about religious subjects is always the hardest thing to do.....
but you clearly mastered this element in this poem...
the rhythm was superb and you clearly portrayed your whole view about the topic of your poem and it created a solid atmosphere..
\this is excellent work Zyta....
I applaud you....
DO NOT MAKE ME UNLEASH MY INNER DEMON
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