divine_punishment (Apr 09, 2008)
As I'm hung here.
All strung up here.
Gasping.
Choking...
...on my last breath.
I remember him.
Wise and holy.
Beloved,
Rabbi...
...I've handed death.
He gained knowledge,
I'd betray him.
As we
shared wine...
..."Truely, not I"
Illuminating,
All those near him.
Sitting at
his table...
...I did lie.
Thirty pieces
O' worthless silver.
Money,
for blood.
I've damned my soul.
The memory...
..of this, still haunts me.
A kiss.
A kiss.
So they would know.
I would forsake him...
They came to take him.
The kiss
I laid...
...Upon his face.
He said "Do with me
what you will".
And I,
Stood still
In my disgrace.
So, I'm hung here.
All strung up here.
I took
my life...
...for my own deceit.
Remember me,
A slave to sin.
Thirty pieces
of silver...
... thrown at my feet.
... Not Ever Again...
divine_punishment (Apr 09, 2008)
Amazing. Sheer brilliance. You've read the Bible, you know the story of the betrayer well.
Interesting use of sentence fragments. Work on your grammar.
This really is an amazing piece, Peach. I applaud you.
Peach_follows (Apr 04, 2008)
I would never have thought to write from Judas' point of view.
Very original. I guess the challenge of distinguishing yours from zyta's wasn't a bad thing at all ^_^ I love the way it has a broken flow, and the way the words sound as they run through my head...
[Draw me a sheep!]
Peach_follows (Apr 04, 2008)
A very interesting poem indeed. I loved the broken flow and the last line rhyme. It really portrays what Judas was probably thinking as he hung himself. Great job.![]()
A big thanks to Renn for the sig! THANK YOU!
Peach_follows (Apr 04, 2008)
Hi Mr. poet I did like your poem,
I felt you filming it and you could deliver your feelings to
the receiver I advice you to publish more and here a small poem as a reply:
That poem I think is good
to give us more,no doubt you should
to translate feeling you indeed could
if i would see you with respect I stood...
Interesting poem. Easter through the eyes of Judas, the one who betrayed him. Interestingly done. Not bad at all...
The Madman previously known as Daniel219
Wish I could get on here more often. *Sigh* The down side to night shift...
This is interesting i've never though of this at all or looking at his point of view. it's sad though very sad.
"In your arms is where i will be, I love you till my forever ends."
Clan Rainstorm 2nd Company, Kunoichi Leader
PhoenixSara FB / Click Me IMVU/Atlantis RPG/Rules and FAQ/MY BLOG /
Bookmarks