Life, Death, And Rebirth - Jan 09

zyta · Jan 09, 2008, 12:40 PM

Tis short, I know. Hope you enjoy it nonetheless.

Life, Death, and Rebirth

The path that leads to things not shown,
To hills unplanned,
Across the dreams…
Until the end.

Foresee the life that drains each instant,
The gripping soul
Commands all home;
To slumber endlessly.

Coming back, are we really any different?
Has life changed,
Are we the same?
Can you tell? Maybe.

ILikeApples5520 · Jan 09, 2008, 07:04 PM

I really liked this one. It shows the simplicity behind the theme and leaves you feeling uncertain.

Definitely hope to see more from you!

!mveli2 · Jan 09, 2008, 10:24 PM

i really love this poem it was short but awesome and i mainly loved it when you said "The gripping soul commands all home" it made it sound much better hope to hear more from you .

abc · Jan 10, 2008, 06:01 AM

this poem is soooo amazing it leaves you with a sense of uncertainty with where on goes when they die and where one will be in the next life.
Whether the new life would be recognized as a new person or a person that he was, if he/she can remember who he/she was anyway.
anyway its a really wonderful poem keep it up

zyta · Jan 10, 2008, 08:18 AM

thanks everyone. I tried to use a Minute Style Poem, but failed as I neared the end of the poem. For those that don't know what a minute poem is, look below.

Quote:

Minute Poetry
The Minute Poem is rhyming verse form consisting of 12 lines of 60 syllables written in strict
iambic meter. The poem is formatted into 3 stanzas of 8,4,4,4; 8,4,4,4; 8,4,4,4 syllables.
The rhyme scheme is as follows: aabb, ccdd, eeff

Inuruto · Feb 07, 2008, 09:17 PM

*Congrats* You proved that simple is better & got your message across perfectly... I guess I was one of those ppl who over did it & needs to take notes from this poem... ^_^ I hope to see you on the next/another contest cause you are a good competitor & I love the competition...

Jan 09, 2008, 12:40 PM	#1 (permalink)
zyta Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Lional - You will not find it unless I finish making it Posts: 409 Thanks: 5 Thanked 11 Times in 11 Posts Credits: 19,540	Life, Death, And Rebirth - Jan 09 Tis short, I know. Hope you enjoy it nonetheless. Life, Death, and Rebirth The path that leads to things not shown, To hills unplanned, Across the dreams… Until the end. Foresee the life that drains each instant, The gripping soul Commands all home; To slumber endlessly. Coming back, are we really any different? Has life changed, Are we the same? Can you tell? Maybe. __________________
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Jan 09, 2008, 07:04 PM	#2 (permalink)
ILikeApples5520 Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Bergen County, NJ Posts: 270 Thanks: 6 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Credits: 4,562	Re: Life, Death, And Rebirth - Jan 09 I really liked this one. It shows the simplicity behind the theme and leaves you feeling uncertain. Definitely hope to see more from you! __________________ [My Myspace] [Bleach Exile] [Bleach Exile Forums]
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Jan 09, 2008, 10:24 PM	#3 (permalink)
!mveli2 Banned Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: IN A CRAZY HOUSE @_@ Posts: 129 Thanks: 42 Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts Credits: 4,291	Re: Life, Death, And Rebirth - Jan 09 i really love this poem it was short but awesome and i mainly loved it when you said "The gripping soul commands all home" it made it sound much better hope to hear more from you .
Status: Offline

Jan 10, 2008, 06:01 AM	#4 (permalink)
abc Newbie Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: In a place of bliss and love is blind Posts: 89 Thanks: 12 Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts Credits: 4,542	Re: Life, Death, And Rebirth - Jan 09 this poem is soooo amazing it leaves you with a sense of uncertainty with where on goes when they die and where one will be in the next life. Whether the new life would be recognized as a new person or a person that he was, if he/she can remember who he/she was anyway. anyway its a really wonderful poem keep it up
Status: Offline

Feb 07, 2008, 09:17 PM	#6 (permalink)
Inuruto Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: A-town Posts: 270 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 4,792	Re: Life, Death, And Rebirth - Jan 09 Congrats You proved that simple is better & got your message across perfectly... I guess I was one of those ppl who over did it & needs to take notes from this poem... ^_^ I hope to see you on the next/another contest cause you are a good competitor & I love the competition... __________________ There is ONLY 1 Candid & she blessed me with this sig... Thank You!!!
Status: Offline

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