Live without you.

bratling · Oct 29, 2007, 08:20 PM

The day of the funeral she sat,
Elegantly poised, with tiny
Hands politely folded.
Traditional black veil,
Covered beautiful face.
All the better that they didn't see,
There were no tears upon it.
Insted a slightly upturned grin.
She dabbed at her eyes,
But what they didn't see,
She was just rolling them.
You just can't be sad,
When you finally found out,
That because of him,
And the horrible things that he did,
You can live without him.
But he should NEVER,
Live without you.

*RayMe* · Oct 30, 2007, 09:34 PM

Quote:

Insted a slightly upturned grin

I think the correct spelling is Instead ^^

Hmm... love the descriptions as usual

nicely done ^^

crimson · Oct 30, 2007, 10:08 PM

cool... sad and dark but cool... emo too... i like it!

pink_hana · Oct 31, 2007, 05:50 AM

luv the way you've composed it...
it's quite deep...

bratling · Oct 31, 2007, 06:27 AM

Tee-hee. You called me emo. I am glad you all liked it. I appriciate your comments. Rayme today when I get back from the doctors I will fix my spelling. I like this poem but I think I should have used my methods of suicide to enter this contest but I'm pleased with this too.

Oct 29, 2007, 08:20 PM	#1 (permalink)
bratling Upcoming Legend Join Date: May 2007 Location: Crystal Minnesota. Posts: 501 Thanks: 0 Thanked 14 Times in 14 Posts Credits: 11,232	Live without you. The day of the funeral she sat, Elegantly poised, with tiny Hands politely folded. Traditional black veil, Covered beautiful face. All the better that they didn't see, There were no tears upon it. Insted a slightly upturned grin. She dabbed at her eyes, But what they didn't see, She was just rolling them. You just can't be sad, When you finally found out, That because of him, And the horrible things that he did, You can live without him. But he should NEVER, Live without you. __________________ She's always trying not to cry. But I can see the demons in her eyes. She's always trying not to yell. But you see to her, she's trapped in hell.
Status: Offline

Oct 30, 2007, 10:08 PM	#3 (permalink)
crimson Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Philippines Posts: 286 Thanks: 1 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts Credits: 13,167	Re: Live without you. cool... sad and dark but cool... emo too... i like it! __________________ as long as i am me try thess new games i like(MMOGs): knightfight\|prisonstruggle\|ikariam
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Oct 31, 2007, 05:50 AM	#4 (permalink)
pink_hana Newbie Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: ningen world Posts: 87 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 2,308	Re: Live without you. luv the way you've composed it... it's quite deep... __________________
Status: Offline

Oct 31, 2007, 06:27 AM	#5 (permalink)
bratling Upcoming Legend Join Date: May 2007 Location: Crystal Minnesota. Posts: 501 Thanks: 0 Thanked 14 Times in 14 Posts Credits: 11,232	Re: Live without you. Tee-hee. You called me emo. I am glad you all liked it. I appriciate your comments. Rayme today when I get back from the doctors I will fix my spelling. I like this poem but I think I should have used my methods of suicide to enter this contest but I'm pleased with this too. __________________ She's always trying not to cry. But I can see the demons in her eyes. She's always trying not to yell. But you see to her, she's trapped in hell.
Status: Offline

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