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Thread: Mistakes.

  1. #1
    Otaku Stickicide 2 Champion starfire1036 is making a name for themselves starfire1036 is making a name for themselves starfire1036's Avatar
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    Mistakes.

    For in the past
    i see just me and you,
    and in the present
    ive been forced to start a new

    You left me cold
    with out reason or care.
    my heart you did scold
    and my feeling you did tear

    I sit here now
    just thinking of you
    and asking myself
    what the hell did i do?

    Was it the way I kissed you?
    Did i do it wrong?
    Was it when we danced?
    Did i play the right song?

    How did i miss
    the fact you weren't happy?
    All i tried to do
    ended in you feeling angry.

    In the mirror my eyes wade
    and in the past your memories fade
    in the wake of a new love
    like one sent from above

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    Newbie Toxic Otaku is off to a good start
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    Re: Mistakes.

    Wow...That has to be one of the most beutifull and yet one of the sadest poems I've ever read. - very, very, very well done. It realy touches the heart.

  3. #3
    Otaku Stickicide 2 Champion starfire1036 is making a name for themselves starfire1036 is making a name for themselves starfire1036's Avatar
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    Re: Mistakes.

    Quote Originally Posted by Toxic Otaku View Post
    Wow...That has to be one of the most beutifull and yet one of the sadest poems I've ever read. - very, very, very well done. It realy touches the heart.
    thanks toxic It was something a threw together a while ago and descided to post here today...

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    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: Mistakes.

    A rather nice poem, although this theme of break-ups is far too common and the flow could have been nicer. On the other hand, I see that you have put an effort in to make it ryhme, which is rather great, and I like your language use ^^

    However, the biggest problem here is that this poem is posted here on the first of february and the boss said "1/30, no later" >.< Please be carefull with the dates >.<

    Take care ^^

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  5. #5
    Otaku Stickicide 2 Champion starfire1036 is making a name for themselves starfire1036 is making a name for themselves starfire1036's Avatar
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    Re: Mistakes.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lasura View Post
    A rather nice poem, although this theme of break-ups is far too common and the flow could have been nicer. On the other hand, I see that you have put an effort in to make it ryhme, which is rather great, and I like your language use ^^

    However, the biggest problem here is that this poem is posted here on the first of february and the boss said "1/30, no later" >.< Please be carefull with the dates >.<

    Take care ^^
    I was... unable to get online because my mother had taken my internet away... that is the onle reason i posted so late.. U usually post every month but i didnt not have a chance to post on time.. if i get dq'd them w/e

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