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Thread: My torn soul it finds a home (Feb entry)

  1. #1
    Newbie Rinkusu is off to a good start Rinkusu's Avatar
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    My torn soul it finds a home (Feb entry)

    I know its a bit early but I'm not sure if ill get the opportunity later, please enjoy.

    My body it seeks a home
    I’ve left my heart in a dark little hole
    Everything has abandoned me even my soul
    I’m left crawling and aching for a breath
    As my pulse numbs my entire body

    My throat it dries in agony
    As I search to grab for somebody
    I stumble to barely catch my fall
    And now I feel like a ragged doll

    Humans without faces
    Lurk around me to leave no sign of traces
    I feel my tears
    As everybody looks around me with fears

    This manifested room
    My helpless body drowned in gloom
    My breathing it slows
    This pain that grows
    And still with nobody to help me stand
    Abandoned and now I’m banned

    In the dark little corner
    I wish he would come a bit sooner
    The shadow in the dark
    Waiting to entwine my non-existing heart


  2. #2
    Newbie xEmoxTwilightXLuverx is off to a good start xEmoxTwilightXLuverx's Avatar
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    Re: My torn soul it finds a home (Feb entry)

    dang.......that was realy good, i liked it..... i cant write poems...... they always end up in the trash.... keep it up!! hope to hear more,

  3. #3
    Child Of God Kiani Haki22 is off to a good start Kiani Haki22's Avatar
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    Re: My torn soul it finds a home (Feb entry)

    This was good, it had a somewhat good rhythm. I like the ending the best I like how it made the fact the poem was ending known. Work on keeping your stanza's the same amout for each one. It will make it look good, professional.

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